Why is being a bisexual guy so denigrated?

[Naruse]

I'm a closeted bisexual, my preference is girls so I never had a massive issue performing straight but I've always wondered why so many girls who came out were celebrated when boys who do the same thing are at least mocked or at worst estranged for being a creep by both men and women. I've seen this happen to a few people in my friend group over the years and I guess I'm just curious why so many people have this double standard and why.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Interesting.

Evolutionary speaking, sex is not just sex, it is weapon and it’s a Power.

I am very interested in evolutionary psychology, so I’ll give an opinion from that point, regardless of my personal feelings, as I have some bisexual as well as gay male friends.

So…

I am very interested in evolutionary psychology and believe, all of our feelings have a trace back to the time when that feeling was useful for our ancestors. Everything we are today, we are because at some point we turned to it thanks to our ancestors surviving through the traits that we now have.

I have a slim waist and wide hips, and I believe in ancient times, my female ancestors rarely had a competition, as it was the most favourite body shape of women, since it could mean she was capable of both, bearing a child and giving birth without complications.

Now, my ancestors were successful among males and they never developed the inclination to like the females. Thus, I am heterosexual.

I believe homosexuality at some point developed as a way of survival of men, who couldn’t otherwise gather the resources and/or survive, instead they could submit themselves to the more dominant men and make sure they survived under the protective wings of more dominant men.

Now some men turned a total preference to males, thus cutting them off from the gene pool and stopping being a competitor to other males. They instead contribute to taking care of other’s children while being beneficial to society by reducing male competition and rarely or not reproducing.

Bisexual men though, while enjoyed the protection of stronger more dominant males, (who had sex with them as the way to demonstrate their power and get a sexual gratification out of it.) also keep reproducing with the females. Which means, that men who submitted to other men, who evolutionary speaking, are not strong enough to have the ambition to be TOP men, still get the chance to reproduce and get the protection of stronger men at the same time. While it might be beneficial for that specific bisexual man,

For a woman it means that this man is not a TOP man, he is not the powerful man, which means in our primal minds, he is not worthy of reproducing and he shouldn’t be in the gene pool, yet he is. That would probably explain why some women dislike it.

Now let me explain, what I think is the reason of disapproval of men.

You’d think they might enjoy the fact you are bisexual, which means you are less of a competition to them, however, they don’t feel very pleased, because while they use sex to deweaponize you of your male dominance, you still stay as a competitor to them, because you still get a chance to reproduce with a woman, and your sons will be the competitors of his sons. So, by having sex with a bisexual man and protecting him, Top man gains power only temporarily in his life and instead, gives another male a chance to reproduce. In another situation, he’d kill you as a competitor, but he slept with you instead, you made it alive, which means you are able to give birth to the future competitors of his sons. So by taking off a power from you aka having sex with you, he also granted you a power to reproduce. Because instead of directly killing you as a competitor, he gave you a chance to live yet another day. Which gives him mixed feelings.

We are all predators and primal animals.

I hope my explanation is not hurtful to you, it’s just based on my knowledge and deep interest in evolutionary psychology.

[LostA__Aryen18]

So why the dominance of females in the LGBTQ community, in particular bisexuality?

[LostA__Aryen18]

I know Psychological circles, Female sexuality is viewed as "fluid" and more "grey" They claim that female sexuality is often more prone towards nonheterosexual leanings due to evolutionary traits that involve cowives and ways to prevent competition among females compared to their male partners. Generally speaking, roughly 75%+ of people who identify as LGBTQ are female. For example, the most recent YRBSS claims the following 87.3% of adolescent males are heterosexual 61.6% of adolescent females are heterosexual 2.4% of males are homosexual 3.7% of females are homosexual 4.0% of males are bisexual 20% of females are bisexual Even the NHIS/NSFG tends to show that women have a rate of 3 to 1 at the very least in comparison to their male counterparts in homosexual preferences. Even Lesbian porn is the most viewed category by females. These studies tend to be repeated regardless where they have taken. For example, Dalia, a German group have reported that in Europe, the majority of the LGBTQ community is female. Some places are very lopsided, for example Netherlands with 10% of females, and 2% of males being LGBTQ.

[LostA__Aryen18]

Though you are correct that LGBTQ population historically were very small. Generally speaking, there have never been any attempts at studying its demographics until just recently. Even then, very rarely largely scale. Only large scale studies have existed for about 20 years at most. Prior to that (like the Kinsey studies) were limited to prison population, and college campuses, during an era when people (males in particular) could be imprisoned for being LGBTQ. So those are not to be taken seriously, for its not even a real sample None the less, I highly doubt the LGBTQ community was much larger than 1 or 2 percent of the popoulation throughout most of history. The Male vs Female aspect of it (in regards to historical studies) would be largely based upon WHO is speaking about it, and of course HISTORY is largely Male dominated, and Women largely served roles under men in nearly every society. Therefore, history is largely written by men, about other men. Even then, very rarely do you see any accounts of homosexuality, and those are largely assumed by modern lense. For example the assumptions of Greek homosexuality, where are NOT supported by the authors of the era, but are attempted to be interpreted by modern historians who clearly want to push a Pro-LGBTQ standard

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@LostA__Aryen18 Female bisexuality might be explained by the polygamous and visual nature of men. Men prefer two women to one and they think it’s a heaven to have sex with two females. So, bisexual females are attractive for men, because it makes them think they can kill two rabbits at once and get a chance to reproduce with both instead of one, so female bisexuality developed as a way of Genetically less blessed women (with less pronounced, less feminine body types) who had to find a way to attract a man and somehow compete with women who were attractive enough to make every man want her. So bisexuality in females developed, Kind of a like a discount, “Get two women in the price of one.” Trying to catch the attention of men. But I have never seen honestly very feminine women who are bisexuals. Sexiest of women are fierce competitors to one another, they’ll never share a man with each other. Women who are so feminine that they attract the vast majority of dominant men, have no need to agree to share a man with another woman or to find a way to attract men with two women…

[EmyyWolf]

Cause I don’t want someone who puts their member into someone’s AZZ SHT HOLE. 😆

Thats why.

It’s why women 10x prefer a highly masculine man. Highly masculine means that there’s high testosterone.

Usually an attractive promiscuous guy that gets a lot of women. It means he’s less likely to turn to the other side.

Also. SHT HOLE SEX…. Is 10x more to cause HIV and diseases. Because men get irritated down there from the trauma. It becomes an open wound.

ABSOLUTELY NOT. I SEE MEN LIKE THIS AS WEAK. LOW TESTOSTERONE.
TESTOSTERONE DEFICIENT.

WEAKNESS. DEPRAVITY. The shit hole is not designed to tolerate that trauma. Any Shit Hole doctor will tell you this.

[EmyyWolf]

@naruse
It’s atrazine in the water that is messing people up!

https://youtu.be/EcVH4ElPOK0?si=GyI5zZyX2ny5ijd9

[VKN724]

There is no right answer. I have been with both sexes and honestly, it's less about how much I slept around and more about why I did it. Looking back I find I regretted most of my sleeping around in my earlier years and attribute why I did it to a lack of integrity and a "fear of missing out" (FOMO) from watching porn or hearing from other dudes about how they got some girl to suck his dick. It was a competition essentially and it degrades us as human beings to just being reproductive objects.

As I restate, there is no right answer. You and I both know there's a person out there in the world who will absolutely love you for being bisexual and someone who will absolutely hate you for being bisexual. The people we hang around with and the information we consume fuels our confirmation bias. Get off the internet and spend more time outside living your life and affirming your philosophies by living bravely instead of making life harder for yourself by questioning if you have enemies or not. I will do the hard work for you: Yes, you do have enemies. You do have people who are on the opposite spectrum of who you are and what you believe that will openly ridicule you for being who you are. The real question is, how are you going to live with it?

[ManOnFire]

You have to remember that a woman sleeping with both men and women is seen as sexy, by both men and women. Not for me, but that is the situation. Men who are bi are viewed as gross because even if he likes and has sex with women, people are still thinking about the fact that he does with men too, which bothers both men and women, and probably triggers ideas of him getting or spreading HIV.

Even women themselves - and who often want to take stands for LGBTQ - still think gay and bi men are gross. Quite ironic.

[_Maya_]

You shouldn't be and if you'd ever like to talk I am open to it. It is later Sunday evening but I'd always be happy to discuss. I'm bi and had a lot of support from friends and family. Often times that's not the case. It's even much less so online. So I can relate to an issue. Please let me know if you need someone to talk to. Best wishes

[Naruse]

Yeah I guess I've always been a bit terminally online so maybe my perspective is skewed but I've had friends who have been kind of biphobic and it's never towards girls. (although they are mostly guys) Hell I've even seen pick a side sentiments reinforced by gay people so I never really felt like I belonged in the community if you would even call it that.

[_Maya_]

If I can help...

[Naruse]

I wouldn't know how this is literally the first time I've admitted being bisexual anywhere

[_Maya_]

Fought to do. I'm here for ya

[Naruse]

I mean yeah I'm open to it in the future god knows I need to open up more I think the last time I did was in my teens. I'm not even all that masculine but the whole male stoicism thing like the concept of not sharing your emotions because they'll make you a burden to other people really fucked me up.

[laurieluvsit]

You must hang out in the wrong circles.

All of my friends love bisexual and even gay guys, nothing wrong with it.

I am in the San Francisco Bay Area so maybe that has something to do with it but I think it is excepted most everywhere in the US now and I think even more and for a longer time in the UK.

What am I missing Mr Naruse?

[Naruse]

I'm from the UK being gay is perceived as normal, being bisexual is more complicated I guess I was hoping someone else could explain it. I've tried to avoid being introspective about it because I know coming out would disappoint one of my parents who always made it clear they'd wouldn't like it if I was gay. I guess it fucked me up a bit because I'm 28 now and the idea of coming out would be even worse as I feel like I've been lying to people for years.

[laurieluvsit]

'Coming Out' is a construct of the LGBTQ Criminal Political Industry and is a fallacy. Being in the closet about a lot of things is normal and can make it even more erotic and fun. Get the LGBTQ mind control stuff out of your psyche and you will be much better off and more mentally secure.

[Naruse]

Trust it does not make it more erotic and fun, more just introduce an element of shame when I'm done wanking over it. I don't even really want to lean that way I just feel being repressed has made me feel worse than being honest.

[laurieluvsit]

Find a good sex therapist. They will help you through this.

[Naruse]

I would love to see a regular therapist let alone a sex one but both cost money so I guess I'm using a social media site I discovered today.

[provokeesmokee]

Biphobia towards bi men is unfortunately the worst of all biphobia.

No idea why, as a bisexuality person myself. Just I guess the shortest straw.

I don't understand it, but then again, I'm bisexual, too.

[Naruse]

I'm hoping someone who actually feels that way can explain it to me, like I'm genuinely curious why there's a social distinction, whether it's just because girls tend to be more expressive about it so it became normalised while people like me went the other way and just covered it up and never spoke about it.

[provokeesmokee]

Ah, careful with that. I admire your courage and belief in them. It is probably to do with some of how bisexual women were portrayed in the problematic Hollywood bisexual era of the 90s and early 2000s. Bisexual women were objectified a lot and made more acceptable, but not as bisexual women. More as "sexual objects" to fulfill taboo lesbianism while still making them palatable to the target audience by making them also into men. So it was made more acceptable, but still highly biphobic and objectifying. Bi men, on the other hand, were caught in both homophobia by straights and biphobia by gays. And weren't given the same media spotlight that bi women got. So it's like most homophobia: begins with intolerance and ignorance, made worse by media bias and socially acceptable hate crime.

[Naruse]

Yeah I can see this being the case. I guess that explains why I tend to relate to trans people, kind of accepted but not really. I think most people aren't dicks interpersonally, I can see a lot of it being manufactured by media proclivities. What you said about lesbian porn or bisexual in the sense of two girls fucking a guy rings especially true.

[provokeesmokee]

I hear you. I relate more to transfolks as well, though mostly because I am non-binary and find it hard for cis people to understand and relate to me (cause no shit). Yeah, there's some very cool video essays on YT about the bisexual days of Hollywood and TV programming. I highly recommend searching some up if you're interested in seeing more of how pop culture influences homophobia and such. Especially in today's world, it's good to know what encouraged intolerance in the past so we can call it out fast today.

[love_conquers_lust]

You’re also a dude.

[provokeesmokee]

Not a dude, but I appreciate that you think so.

[love_conquers_lust]

Two lies, in one sentence. And you sound like other dudes I argue with who “appreciate” or “thank” me for “sharing” when I say something that pisses them off. “I relate more to transfolks as well” Who’s simping now?

[provokeesmokee]

Simping is a single person. One can't simp an entire demographic. But also, genuinely yes. I find trans folks much easier to relate to than cis folks. I'm not even sure if I'm cis myself. So that you think I'm a man just due to how I reply is really validating. I'm committing gender fuckery and I don't even need to worry about my appearance, lol. So genuinely, thank you. Very validating.

[love_conquers_lust]

I said I’d lay off.

[OlderAndWiser]

Homosexuality and homosexual acts are repulsive to most men.

[madhatters4]

i think because there is still a greater stigma of a man being sexually involved wiht a man than a woman being involved with a woman.

I think there are a lot of women who have a hard time with the idea of a man being with another man and then with a woman. I'm actually watching a program on that now and there are so many testimonials from women who effectively feel that a bisexual man is in fact a closeted gay man OR they have a real problem with being a man who is with men

[RobT312]

I agree with the double standard…but why worry about it, just be you. also you don’t need to broadcast your sexuality if you don’t want to. Do what is comfortable for you. I realized bisexuality at 29, never had or needed a “coming out”

[Naruse]

I guess I've always felt that being honest about this stuff would be a bit of a weight off my shoulders but you may be right it could just fuck everything up and for what if my preference is girls?

[RobT312]

Yes, that’s what I’m saying, be honest. Be yourself. Do what is right for you. If you have weight on your shoulders , change that

[Curmudgeon]

Because women's sexuality has been always seen as more fluid, probably because it actually is? (A question, not a definitive declaration on my part, but that makes sense to me).

[Naruse]

In ancient Greece it was a social norm. You were considered to be a bit weird if you were fully straight.

[Curmudgeon]

But hasn't that always been more pronounced for women, even back then?

[Naruse]

On the contrary men had this behaviour encouraged in several aspects of Greek society, the male form was considered more attractive in Greek artistry and soldiers were encouraged to fuck one another. Particularly concerning Sparta where young soldiers were paired up with older men.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I don't find it repulsive, but it does seem like a lot of men have a negative feelings towards guys who have have experience with both men and women. Seems that women are far more supportive, but that's just my observation.

[strateguy632]

closeted? not anymore.

[Naruse]

Still closeted if you don't have my deets ;)

[BlissfullyCurSed]

as a gay person, I overall wouldn't mind being friends with a bisexual guy, but they were kind of stigmatised by the society, including LGBTQI+ community itself, mainly because men having sex with both sexes was perceived inappropriate as men tend to be more promiscuous than women in general, and you are a guy who can play both sides , sooo🤣🤣🤣🤣

[soulOnDisplay]

Because its disgusting when men do it, and it's sexy when women do it. Simple as that.

[Nikki1989]

I don't think it is at all.

[Meropatrick]

I dont like whom switches teams

[collie22]

I didn't know it was

[BigDog1989]

Can you really say you're bi, if you're still in the closet about it

[petera1987]

It's because most people are nasty hypocrites.

[noohair]

I can only speak for men. There is a deep seated revulsion that is hard wired into our brains. My roommate in college told me that when he went through puberty, he became attracted to men. I can't argue with his explanation. The bible has a huge influence too. There were times in the human journey where the survival of humans was not secure. The caveman brain explains a lot of how men act today. I understand your dilemma.

[2021biguy]

People seem to not like bisexual guys for some reason, even though we like girls to love and be romantic with girls.

[nudeNhorny]

who told you that you have to wear an ID tag? being a bi guy myself, I stopped caring about labels long time ago, just do what pleases you.

[Ladygirlie03]

The truth of the matter is that most women will run away if you mention that you’re a bisexual man. When a woman is dating and having sex with people they have to be very careful about it. Is this guy safe, crazy, will he harm me? You have to vet men and bi-girls too. But when a man is bi or gay we think they tend to do more random hookups, that might be unprotected. A lot of the first appearances of STDS was in the male gay community. Back in the day when it wasn’t ok to be open about your sexuality, some men dated and married women as a cover. I have a relative who is repulsed by women, but he is trying to find a girl so that he can give his mother a grand baby. So then it’s a question of do you really like me or am I just a cover for you? For you to blend in?

Then think about your guy friends. How would we know if they’re really just your friends or if they’re both your friend and fuck buddy? If I liked someone enough that wouldn’t matter thought.