Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Would you let your boyfriend get a naked lap dance? (GUYS) - Do you think this is okay?
Anonymous
Hi Everyone, Serious question here, my boyfriend of 2 years, has always loved strippers and strip clubs. Keep in mind, he is a great guy, he is not a scumbag by any means, he’s 34, super professional, wealthy, cares for me and has a very established life. (I’m 20). We live together and work together. He is actually the first guy I have ever been with, who would consider physically "dating" a stripper. Most men are turned off by the thought of actually being in a relationship with one... Most guys just want a one night thing and then nothing to do with them. So here is my issue: He has never been to a strip club since we have been together, mainly because the opportunity has not arose. We have had many discussions on it though, and in my opinion I have ZERO issue with him going to look at the strippers dance and have a good time, I have a very serious issue with a naked girl grinding her vag all over him privately. (I live in Canada, you can do anything you want with them). In the past he told me he’s fingered strippers before, got there phone numbers, how hot they are and that he wishes I could be like one, and has had the time of his life. Obviously, with this being said, I am not comfortable with him going anymore, because i don’t trust him. It makes me super insecure. He can’t understand why I have such a big issue with him going, and tells me guys do It all the time. The difference is those guys don’t actually want to BE with the girl who’s dancing on him, where I feel he would. What should I say to him about this? I don’t think he would like if I was grinding on guys all night, showing them my boobs and came home reeking of cologne. Its borderline cheating to me. Also, do you think its okay for a guy (Boyfriend) to constantly talk about how hot another girl is to your face and what you wanna do with her, in detail? How do i get him to stop this? I just feel unattractive to him now. What do you guys think? Ladies, would you le
Updates:
+1 y
These answers are great, thank you so much for the feedback! There are times where I consider breaking up with him, (I am not with him because of his money). I always just feel like, if I end things I won't ever find someone again? Does anyone feel that way when you consider breaking up. I am just so comfortable with him, and this whole thing has kind of made me feel insecure about my appearance. He is very attractive, and he knows it. Sadly, I don't think he would even care if I broke it up..
+1 y
Thank you so much to everyone who responded, it was great hearing everyone's opinion, most of them being on my side. Now that I know I am not over reacting, next time this topic comes up I can be very assertive on the topic and if he feels the need to do these things we should not be together. He keeps asking if he can take me to one to see what it’s like, but I think I would actually turn evil watching a naked girl sit on him and I awkwardly sit there and watch it, resenting him for it...
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What Girls & Guys Said
26 19If he is that much of an asshole to say those things to you then I would make it point to go out with the girls to the strip club and have some guy rub his boner on you.
Be sure to point out to him how good looking and well built the guy was... after all what is good for the goose, is good for the gander!
I know, I mentioned in the past, how would you felt if I went to a club and was grinding on guys all night? and giving them lap dances in the club? He's like that's totally not the same thing. I am like act actually, it is. Its always a one way street with him!!
If it is always a one way street with him... don't you think you deserve someone that would appreciate your contribution?
sure I don't mind.
NO ONE SEES A PROBLEM WITH THIS? A FREAKING 32 YEAR OLD IS DATING AN 18 YEAR OLD! WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS HOLY SHIIIIIT!
He's almost TWICE your age! He graduated high school when you were just born! WTFFFFFFFF!
She's an adult, if she wants to be with him how does his being older cause harm in itself? (Admittedly he doesn't like the best guy to be with.) I can't understand the appeal of an older guy (or any guy) but if she wants to be with him and is an adult with no mental impairment I don't see why we shouldn't deem it acceptable.
@Bysshe she wasn't an adult at the time though... She was 16! Still in high school! Wtf?
She said she's been with him for two years and that she's 20 now - so she would have been 18 then and quite likely finished school. Anyway I was talking about her being with him now, not then.
I did not start dating him until I was 19? It was a big issue for me at first, he worked hard at trying to get me though. He had to go through my parents too lol, most guys would have said screw it and ran! But he bent over backwards to have me in his life, I am with him for maturity reasons, we met on New Years and had no idea what each other’s age was until the first date (He does not look older than 27). I have finished College, and have a full time job. I actually work at his Company. It is not "weird' now that I am going to be 21 in a month. I agree with you, if we dated while I was 18 or under, then yes! That is weird. Keep in mind, this guy is not my 'Sugar Daddy" I pay for all my own stuff, it is just a regular relationship with someone a bit older than me!
@Bysshe bleh 18, even still. Would you date a 32 year old woman at age 18?
Mmmmm I don't know... He reminds me of that guy from 50 shades of grey... Never watched it, but that is what it seems like. What does he do?
Lmao, I wish he was! There is no brand new Audi in my future ;). He is an engineer and co-owner of an international Oil & Gas company, he is not a millionaire. He makes around 300-400K per year. He is actually kind of selfish with his money to be honest, I make around 35K a year, and still pay my own way for everything we do. I've bought him Xbox One, Canada Goose Coats, Track Days at 1200 a piece, sometimes I think he thinks I make as much as he does, and I have to tell him I need to slow down. He complains when he has to buy some groceries for me lol, but has no problem buying a brand new Porsche for himself every year. He does support me living wise though, I do not pay him rent or house bills.
I doubt I would have, but it would have been for superficial reasons, it would have been looking old that turned me off her, not her age in itself. I'd date a 80 year old if she somehow magically had the body and vigour (and interests) of an 18 year old. I haven't watched it either, and have only read a few excerpts from a blog mocking the book, but it did remind me of that too. I doesn't sound like a great relationship but I think girls have the right to choose that, it may not be a good choice but it's theirs to make.
His lifestyle is his first love, I am reading here and sadly you are just part of IT. At first you were his love, jumping through hoops to win you but now after all that, when successful and regretting grocery money for you to eat... what a demotion. Makes me a bit sick, then to drive up in a new car annually... would drive me to depression... until I found a new guy... really, not kidding.
Naa no way. I wouldn't tolerate that.
Hmm yes i have a problem with this unless its me giving the lap dance! LOL
I would definitely want a lap dance from a stripper, regardless of my relationship status. What would stop me is the fact that I would have to pay.
Why would you pay, if your girlfriend can give you one at home?
What if she's not as good? But either way I wouldn't want to pay.
I'll give it to him.
soooooo... it's okay for him to openly lust for other women? you're setting yourself up there.
no, i wouldn't. this is borderline cheating and cheating is never right...
These girls are all ridiculous
I wish u be happy
Hi there. I would not be ok with my boyfriend getting a naked lap dance. I would feel disrespected.
Yes. Ut u be there too. Just so he dont stick his dong up the stripper twat or butthole. Also listen up. Most girls cum. Watch for r her to moan or scream. Be ready!
A friend is freaking out that her boyfriend got a lap dance and read other comments on old posts which made it 10x worse. So i wanted to add my thoughts... Yep i know this isn't the typical format i happen to feel bad and share.
I'm disappointed and most comments on old posts are "get over it or stop being jealous. GIRLS! This is something you need to choose for yourself and not base your decisions or feelings on a poll. What you're comfortable within your relationship may be different than what others choose for themselves. YOU DON'T NEED TO GET OVER IT! Rather work though it together if this is a relationship you want to keep. To be VERY honest there are many different types of strip clubs and lap dances that varies. Some aren't as bad as you think. Some hole in the wall small town strip club is a bit better and would upset me less. Larger cities are a whole other issue. Having been to many (I'm ok going together) and find upscale clubs sometimes fun. I will tell you that a lap dance is meant to be very sexual and a good strippers intention is to give them basically full on dry humping and 1 out of 5ish usually have a FULL sexual reaction (INSERT THE WORST) and that's the goal. I know a few stirppers the ones that reach that full goal are VERY proud of themselves (It's their livelihood). I'm not ok with lap-dances and it has nothing to do with self-esteem or jealousy it's about having respect for myself and creating boundaries. I've dated men that didn't respect that boundary. No judgement to them but they weren't for me i moved on. If you've already talked about it that's a very different problem i've be more than pissed for that boundy not being respected.. Worth another chat or move on. Also: I happen to find it VERY unfair woman don't get the same level of strip clubs men do. What the hell. Seriously all owned by men from a male perspective thinking they know what we want. NO i don't want a ding dong in my face i find it funny and SUPER awkward. We need clubs based on our needs and men might consider how they feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Guy's - Our parts are different which means a woman's lap dance is full on on the floor. I just added all the last part for the hell of it but seriously we should have full equality for mens / woman's stip clubs just saying.
Imagine how many times he's been at strip clubs without you knowing. He brought up the idea to ease you into it so he doesn't have to secretly keep going, he can go with you knowing. He has a girlfriend but wants lap dances and who knows what else from other women. That's like me telling me boyfriend that "your penis is too small to please me so I'm going to get a guy with a bigger one to have sex with... but don't worry, we'll stay together and it's not cheating. I just need that one thing from someone other than you." You see bow ridiculous that sounds? If he can't see your problem with the situation then maybe you need to find a new boyfriend...
I love the strip club. great way to bond with your guy friends. only thing is everyone needs to have the their stories in sync for the girlfriend
And your personality is the reason I don't trust the situation.. How about you just don't mistreat the person you are with so there would be no stories to set "straight"
Naaaaaw. A real guy will never want to do those things with another woman. Even though she is a stripper.. when your in a relationship with one person you should be done with those things and be focused on your relationship. Just cause he's a "good guy" and all those things, doesn't mean he won't cheat... you can tell he is a guy who likes the constant attention of many woman... its okay to think some onle else is attractive but is is not good.
Strippers don't have souls so it's ok. No worries
He fingered a stripper come on you can't be with him.
I know, I also found that disgusting when he told me...
If he promises to never do it again then you can continue the relationship. at least he was honest to accept it.
It was more of a brag that he fingered them, than accepting the truth and telling me he did.. it was an ego fluff, yet it completely turned me off!
If he wasn't wealthy do you think you'd be with him?
A man with a 20 year old girlfriend has no excuse to need to strippers.