Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I’m in a sexless marriage. We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore. My husband told me a few years ago that he’s aroused by women and their bodies, but he’s not aroused by women’s pussies. (We didn’t have a very good sex life, and that totally explains a lot.)
He still loves me and wants to stay with me, and he pushed the idea of an open relationship. I love my husband, but having a no intimacy relationship (like no sex, no cuddling, no sleeping with each other) is taking its toll, and honestly I feel deceived and stupid.
I finally say okay, signed up to a site, and found someone. I’m only interested in sex. I tell my husband and this other person every step of the way that I’m married, I’m only interested in a sexual encounter.
Husband says no. Now that someone else is interested, he’s not okay with it. We got into an argument over it, and he said that if I chose to proceed to not tell him. I’m so frustrated.
Would you go through with it anyway?
Would you sleep with someone else anyway?
Anonymous
Updates:
+1 y
So, in answer to “Why did you even get married” he still had sex with me, we still cuddled, and slept together in the beginning. I love him, and now there’s no connection. We don’t go on dates, we don’t hold hands, we don’t cuddle, we don’t have sex, we don’t even share a room and haven’t for a long time. I get a kiss and a hug when one of us leaves for work. That’s it. I can’t get a divorce RIGHTNOW because of various reasons. I just want some intimacy. It’s really demoralizing.
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What Girls & Guys Said
4 52Yes !
Go out and get your own sex
After committing myself to someone who is not into the open relationship thing? No. If my partner is into the open relationship thing, I think it would require a longer discussion.
damn girl, get that dick and don't tell your husband. I'm sure this other guy will be happy to pound away and the naughtiness of it will just add to the excitement. Everyone gets what they need and your husband doesn't need to filled in.
Like it would be ok if it was you (reversed), he's allowed to change his mind. He probably got thinking more about it, or the feelings can be different when it actually happenes.
I would forget this third person all together. The bigger issue is your marriage. Why are you staying together? Love isn't enough. A HUGE part of being in a relationship isn't there, period. You are basically friends living together. You either need couple's therapy or work on this huge issue, or end the marriage. Why continue it? Neither one of you are happy. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this?
"I can’t get a divorce RIGHTNOW because of various reasons." - they will ALWAYS be reasons not to, and excuses. It's never ideal. You have to get to the mental point where you can't take it anymore and just do it. Whatever "reasons" you have, I can almost guarantee there are ways around them.
Force him to fuck you or find someone else and don't tell him.
And if your gonna stay married he has a responsibility to fuck you to your content.
yea because he said yes and now when he is seeing you with other person his ass is getting on fire
Even having regular sex id still cheat
your husband's a fucking whackjob and needs to get his head out of his ass
Maybe since you only live once, why be in a sexless marriage and not get divorced, if you don’t have kids I’m not even sure why you’re staying together
Maybe just get separated while still living in the same house and then get a boyfriend
It sounds to me like that's what you have already, and you just aren't calling it that. I'm unclear on how all this came about, though. Did he bow out from sex little by little and then explain the attraction weirdness when confronted? Does he refuse sex outright, or are you just not interested in sex with someone who sees you this way? What he said is nonsense talk, and it's shallow. Disgraceful really. As much as I enjoy looking at pussies, what they look like doesn't have much to do with sexual intimacy or pleasure; and though the exterior may signal certain things, almost everything we (men) long for and enjoy during sex is on the inside. (I mean literally, inside the female body.) In a state of nature we wouldn't see much of it at all. Being attracted to pussies, per se, comes from PORN. I suspect your husband has watched too much gay porn, and found that his arousal at straight porn has suffered because of it. He probably offered the open relationship so he could have sex with men, then found out he doesn't like it, and now his attraction to women is in this porn-warped wormhole and he can't find his way back. Put more bluntly, he can't get an erection. In any case, no one needs permission to be sexually active. Marriage doesn't give anyone the right to decide IF you have sex. In a monogamous relationship you are obligated to satisfy your partner's natural (i. e. not porn-induced) sexual needs. Neglect your partner and the contract is VOID. Lack of sexual intimacy is bad for you and will shorten your life. When this is the result of deliberate and unprovoked refusal by your partner, getting it elsewhere is a right and maybe even an obligation: If more people treated it as such, people like you wouldn't feel like you owe your body to someone who refuses to care for it.
He's being incredibly selfish. You have needs and if he is going to refuse to fill them himself, he should allow you to get them filled by someone else. You should go ahead and do it.
Yes, I would.
Not having sex with one's partner while at the same time expecting commitment and exclusivity from them is selfish and unreasonable.
Commitment is a two way street, you ought to fulfill the responsibilities you have towards your partner.
If you don't, it's as good as void, in my opinion.