A guy that doesn't masturbate?

[Anonymous]

So I've been in this relationship for a few years now and we're both Christians and mutually decided to wait until we're married to have sex. I'm a virgin but he isn't... I admit sometimes I'm sick of waiting and I tell my boyfriend that who by the way obviously has more will power than me because he'll say no to any advances I make and tells me that I'd just regret it and that he's doing it for us... So here is where my question comes from. I am not naive I don't know why my boyfriend acts like I am. He says he doesn't ever masturbate but I don't even believe there is a guy that doesn't! I've had boyfriends before him at least they were honest with me haha! What guy takes a shower for like 45 minutes if He's not doing that? I know he's not cheating so he's not rejecting me because he's not interested. I just don't like the fact that he's being a liar about such a petty thing.

[ZenSpace]

I guess there are probably a few guys who don't masturbate. I'm sure it has happened, but I REALLY doubt it. More likely he has a hard-core religious upbringing so he feels all guilty about sex.

Religion REALLY messes people up about sex. He probably goes months at a time without ever masturbating, he builds up the desire strongly until he can't take it anymore, then he snaps and jacks off. Then afterward he feels so guilty he thinks he'll burn in hell for all eternity because of what he's done and he prays for forgiveness and swears he'll never do it again.

..then 6 months later he does it again.

I don't mean to insult your religion, but the biggest factor with religious guys and sex is usually GUILT.

The most likely reason he won't admit he masturbates is because he is trying to convince himself that this time he really won't. He is lying to himself as much as you. I don't think this is about you, you need not feel betrayed or hurt.

A lot of people have deep issues about sex and shame and guilt and all that sh*t, etc...

...but that is total guess work. I don't know the guy at all, maybe there is a totally different reason. Or maybe he really doesn't. I have talked to guys who said they underwent some monk-type training and that after a year their sex drive just went away.

[richards]

there are some males who do not masturbates.But in his case I can not judge him. He is propably telling the truth or probably not lying to you but rather shy to admit it to you.May be you should let him know that it is okay to let his secrect out to you knowing that you will honor it, by letting him know that you masturbate as well. I am a christian .I am happily avirgin and will not have sex until I am married, so yeah I do masturbate. Many beautiful girls have ask me if I ever masturbate before,but I shy away from the question and say no.knowing fully well I masturbate and I enjoy it.So I can understand his situation so go easy on him.Okay

[Asker]

Well I'm not meaning to be too hard on him or anything, its just that there's been a lot that's happened and it has been a few years almost four now and it just seemed odd to me that of all things that is what he wouldn't really answer after everything else we've talked about. But I don't know I plan on leaving alone for his shower fun I just wanted some opinions from a third party kind of thing you know?

[richards]

Yes I understand.I think you should put him in the comfort seat by first letting him know that you masturbate.the reasons why you love it etc and he might be open to response to back favourably. because I won't admit that I masturbate to just anyone unless they are sincere and open to me that the masturbate as well because there we both have something in common we like. I have a special female friend who I comfortably share my masturbation habits with and she does the same with me.

[britni86]

He may be ashamed of it.

Or maybe it's something he's trying not to do because he feels like it's what's right.

I'd just keep going along with it. Don't burst his bubble. It'll come out sooner or later.

Or, just straight up ask him about it.

OR, MAYBE, he really doesn't.

But I highly doubt that.

[SOUL4REAL]

Ms Lady,your a christian right? Trust is important in a marriage and if you can't or don't believe your future husband when he say he not masturbating,you got trust issues.He probably trying to do it GOD'S WAY! Good Luck and God Bless!

[nickel]

Maybe he thinks you will judge him if you know that he masturbates? Or maybe he really doesn't masturbate. I had one guy friend who didn't do it at all, he just didn't get any pleasure from it.

[clovisx]

If he says he doesn't and he seems that adamant about waiting until marriage, take him at his word. Not every man masturbates all of the time. I went through a phase a few months ago where I gave it up for a couple of months. The temptation was strong and it eventually got the best of me but I wanted to try it and see what it was like.

[Jonny_]

I won't say I've never done it, but I don't do it when I have a partner... And as for the shower thing I can spend up to two hours having a shower because I have an unusual routine and I love just standing in and zoning out.

[jimattack]

any guy that claims to NOT masturbate or has NEVER masturbated is a freaking liar. and the same goes for girls too.

[sa230e]

Poor guy. It sounds like he might be going through the same thing I did in high school. For a long time (I figure two years at the very least) I didn't masturbate. I was pretty religious at the time and it brought me a lot of shame and guilt. I was constantly torn between blind obedience to my faith and really needing to rub one out.

I think only religious guilt might be one of the only forces strong enough to actually make someone deny their natural impulses. Fortunately I saw reason and started questioning my beliefs and the church's arcane doctrine. I ended up renouncing religion and became an atheist and it was the best decision I've ever made.

[rikooprate]

I don't see how that could be pulled off either? Next time he's in the shower for that long you should slide open that shower curtain and see exactly what he's doing. THEN if you really want to move to the next step and catch him, jump in there with him. lol :)

[Asker]

Oh em gee! Haha!!!! That would be too awkward hahahahaha! I open the cutain and then a awkward silence takes over or gets mad.... I don't even know what he'd do!

[rikooprate]

If you got ballsy and hopped in there and took over for him I can GUARANTEE you'd get what you want. ;) Guaranteed...

[jcoldstream]

Does he respond when you stroke his c-ck gently?

[CuriousEddie]

I don't masturbate, sometimes for three or even four days in a row...

[human_condition]

Do you both avoid eating shellfish too?

[-0x0-]

I never wanked until my 20s. Its perfectly normal.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

One of my exes was religious. She told me she wanted to wait. I avoided doing things with her because I loved and respected her and wanted to make sure her wishes came true. Sure she got horny and wanted to do more, but I realized that hormones were taking over and she really wanted to engage in stuff. Truth be told, so did I. I wanted to share it all with her, but I didn't want her to hate herself or feel bad after the fact so I stayed strong and avoided doing anything. And then she ups and cheats on me anyways (or maybe, it's confusing, she claims she did then she claims she didn't and it was a big mess). Oh well. That's what I get for being honorable and a nice guy.

[Ugly_Guy]

I don't masturbate much. I'm a virgin who is 23 yet I've gone through several months like 6 or 7 months not too long ago without even touching myself. There are definitely a lot of males out there like me who rarely or don't masturbate at all.

[Mesonfielde]

I'm not Christian yet I obey the moral code of Christianity better than you do. What's up with that?

[Asker]

Whatever that's suppose to mean lmao :)

[Mesonfielde]

It means that he is a "fashion christian" like you, considering he has already lost his virginity but still keeps loyal to the "abstinence" law (despite betraying it), and you are also a "fashion christian" because you're like "hey I'm a virgin and I'm god's cute little girl but I can barely keep my horny urges back and I want to f*** already!" Ugh. If you're a "christian", then BE one. Sitting in the temple makes you a Christian as much as sitting in the garage makes you a car.

[Asker]

How does all this compare to you acting as if you're better than anyone else, you don't know me at all and saying you "follow the moral code" more than me is just funny to me. Like you don't do anything wrong? Just because you might be better at some things, doesn't mean you don't mess up like everyone else, try this one out, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." I'd rather be how I am than arrogant like you.

[Mesonfielde]

Except I don't say I'm a Christian and then willfully try to disobey the rules I picked for myself to stick to. It's your decisions that count, and your decision would be to disobey what's written because "oh I don't like this here but I like this" but for a REAL christian, it doesn't go that way. I'm not obligated because I don't call myself a Christian, because I am not. But when you say you are, and "don't have willpower" and want to break the rules, then you're just deceiving yourself.

[Mesonfielde]

And if I am judged for my errors... then I deserve it. Even if I want to push away the responsibility or I'm afraid of the punishment, and I'm afraid of being judged. If there is a reason to be judged for, then it's true, and I deserve it.

[Asker]

Yupp you will deserve it as everyone else on earth will by their own actions and I don't need to justify my willpower or actions to you lol... at least I admit my faults and that's all I'm going to say about this. This is straying completely off topic from my original question so I'm done, we could go back and forth all day and it wouldn't change a thing. So goodbye, take care of yourself.

[Mesonfielde]

You can't say I'm wrong, though. Anyways, there are guys who don't masturbate, but they have wet dreams, and that is -really- annoying.

[ZenSpace]

@Mesonfielde You do not even know this girl. it is weird that you are trying to pick a fight with her. Sounds like you are trying to make yourself feel morally superior to some one you never even met. That's not very "moral" after all. You are a jerk.

[Mesonfielde]

The truth always hurts.

[Farzclick]

It is physically impossible to not masturbate. Lack of masturbation leads to "wet dreams", where a man will involuntarily ejaculate in his sleep.

[Asker]

So I'll check his boxers next time I do laundry! Hahahahaha! :)

[Farzclick]

Doing his laundry? Someones whipped :P

[Asker]

I don't know how either of us are "whipped" considering we don't even have sex lmfao but anyway I have bad OCD and I don't like the way he does it so I do it myself. haha.

[noclueman]

Women need to get over this thought that men just masturbate in the shower. I love taking long showers, and I do masturbate from time to time, but rarely in the shower. I guess it is possible that there is a guy that doesn't masturbate but I would say that it is more unlikely then likely.

i grew up catholic and was religious until the age of reason. I am no longer catholic because they change their minds so often that nothing makes sense and they are the most stuck up religion of all of them. You need to get over this "its a sin" crap and go after what you want.

[Nam4xxxx]

Why is is it hard for you to believe that he doesn't masturbate? It is not all guys that masturbate

[Asker]

Its not that I don't believe there are guys that don't. I'm sure they are out there somewhere, but I don't believe him. But he can have at it I just want opinions, thanks for answering :)

[Squall777]

some guys really don't I can't tell you if they have or haven't tried it but some simply choose not to

[mahalic007]

he mit be embarrassed, or he's really not doing it at all I'm Christian and I don't, I'm not gonna say I didn't make any mistakes and never have done it, but I don't do it anymore so seriously don't be surprised if he doesn't

[ZenSpace]

....hmmm "I don't do it anymore," sounds like you fit the profile for the answer I wrote. I'm curious what you think of it.

[soul1110]

We're like a 0.000001 percent, but we exist. Not only that, but even when I did start (at a "late" age, about 18), I never once did it in a shower (seriously that's gross as fuck).

Like, there's definitely those guys. It's just extremely rare... so rare, people literally have a hard time grasping the idea. Maybe he might've done it a few times, or do it once every Blue Moon- hence, "I don't do it".

[soul1110]

I also don't see why people talk about "asexual" or not... I used to watch porn at least once a week when I never once touched myself. People literally understand jacking off when you say "watch porn".

[boxywon]

a: he probably is doing it.

b: I wouldn't trust a guy who didn't. how's a guy like that going to loosen up when married?

[H86568546]

I never masturbated in my life so you can be assure that some guys don't masturbate but I am not sure about yours though because you said he is not a virgin or may be he is lying and he is actually a virgin because I think if you once took a taste of it then it is hard for you to resist and this is why I don't masturbate even once because if you will do it once then you will be like lets do it again and before you know it you will be addicted to it still there can be some people who actually masturbated and stop doing it again

[PoppyStar1148]

I know this is a older post but if he is anything like me he probably finds it nasty. I can honestly say that I've never masturbated because i find it disgusting and im a halfway decent looking guy so shouldn't have to in the first place. I know that last part is a bit much but its just how i feel. Best thing to do is have a serious conversation with him if you think it might be a problem mentally or physically best thing you can do is communicate with each other. Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Hey, I might be late on this, but he could be asexual like me. I have never masturbated -no lie- at least not awake. Your boyfriend could be lying to you, but he could also be asexual and not feel the need to masturbate.

[soul1110]

You don't even need to be asexual. I used to watch porn for years, basically once a week and felt normal attraction and never did it.

[Anonymous]

It's his business, just be happy you have a boyfriend & don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

GIRL! four years is a long freaking time! My boyfriend and I are Christians and we waited about four months. Either get the freak married or start doin it! Are you sure he isn't gay?

[Anonymous]

Well, as you said, he's not a virgin...which means he hasn't been completely pious his entire life. He probably has masturbated at some point in his life...however, it's possible that he was able to give it up...just depends what kind of person he is, really.

Masturbation isn't like food or sleep. You can live without it. However, it'd be pretty tough for a lot of guys to do...because it's not just a physical thing, it's a mental thing. In fact, the mental part is what makes it the toughest.

To stop masturbating permanently (or for longer than say a month), most guys would have to change their life around quite a bit.

I believe it is possible if the guy can maintain an emotional balance in his life, has close relationships, eats a good diet, and has good alternative outlets for stress (since masturbation often serves to relieve stress).

BTW, the fact that he takes long showers means absolutely nothing. I take long showers and I don't use that time to masturbate. I don't know...45 minutes doesn't even seem that long to more for a shower, since I've had showers that last for an hour. I guess I just lose track of time. I'm sure you have friends who also take long showers and they're not masturbating while showering.

[Anonymous]

Any guy that says they don't is lying. Take it to the bank.

[Anonymous]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX01Lna0OI8

[Anonymous]

Well I can't go more than three days without masturbating or else I feel so horny I want to do any decent looking woman I see. I have trouble sleeping if I don't do it at least once a day.

If he's taking 45 minute showers he is most likely masturbating. I wouldn't take it personally that he won't tell you though, it's a very private thing for most people and many feel ashamed that they do it. It doesn't really mean he doesn't trust you he's just embarrassed and doesn't feel comfortable talking about it, WITH ANYBODY.

Maybe if you tell him about your own masturbation habits he would admit it to you but if I was you I would just leave him alone and let him have his shower fun. It's healthy for men to do it too, it reduces chance of prostate cancer.