Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
Help! I don't know what to do sex has gotten to be so bad with my girlfriend that I dread having sex with her.
Anonymous
everything is perfect in our relationship except the sex. For example this morning my girlfriend woke me up with a back massage then said “now its time for your happy ending”. She started kissing on my neck we started making out, we took off each others’ clothes then I started kissing her all over her body then she got on top of me grinding on me, I got on top of her running my hands up and down her body and when I was moving my hand down from her breast to her vagina she didn’t thrust her hips up like she does when she turned on or do any of the other things she does when she turned on. This really killed the mood for me but she then grabbed me and tried to put me inside her but she was completely dry so we grabbed lube and started having sex. About 10 minutes went by and she got on top of me started riding me and said “whats wrong I can tell you don’t want to have sex” I said “idk I'm sorry baby I'm just not really in the mood right now” then she got really upset. Sex with my girlfriend use to be amazing but now I dread it 9 times out of 10. Although she tells me she still finds me attractive and sex is amazing I can tell she is lying. We have only been dating for 4 months but we have been having sex for 10 months. For the past 2 months 90% of the time no matter how much foreplay we have she is not turned on before sex. she says she is turned on but I can tell she isn't. She is never the least bit wet before sex but that's not the only reason I think she isn't turned on. I have been having sex with her for 10 months I can tell when she is and isn't turned on. I've tried everything to turn her on like kissing her all over her body.. slowly getting more aggressive and making my way to kissing her neck down to the insides of her legs, talking dirty, being rough with her,.. all the things that use to drive her wild. The foreplay is always longer than 20min. The only thing that still turns her on is having sex places where we could get caught or if I use a sex toy on her. Anyways so after we've had 20-30 minutes of foreplay and she still not turned I no longer want to have sex cause I feel almost embarrassed. But if I don't have sex with her after foreplay she asks me why I won't have sex with her I tell her why and she gets really upset so I usualy have sex with her even though I'm no longer in the mood. Because she isn’t turned on it takes at least 40 min of really fast and hard sex for her to come whereas 2 months prior it only took her about 10 minutes to cum. I ask her what I can do to turn her on more she say she loves everything I do. I ask what I could do to make fingering her, eating her out, and sex feel better for her she just tells me I'm amazing at all those things. She won't help me find out what I can do differently or better to improve our sex life. She masturbates everyday so its not like she doesn’t know what she likesI just feel like she doesn’t want to be turned on by me anymore.I just don’t want to feel like this anymore and I don’t know what to do
Updates:
+1 y
i don't really mean our sex life is bad I just put that because I knew it would draw more people to the question. the wetness has little to do with why I feel she isn't turned on. but thank you all for helping me out
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What Girls & Guys Said
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You can try all the tricks but honestly. Some women have a hard time of it even if theyre horny. put on a porno. aske her her fantasies act them out shell get where its normal and shell start getting wet
Why do you say so?
I use a remote control vibrating panties on my girlfriend when we are out in public and when we get home she's super wet u could try something like that
Sounds like you are the problem.
You answered your own question homie
My boyfriend and I are having the same issue. I am completely 100% attracted to him and I'm not interested in having sex with anyone else. I just get the feeling sometimes that he is bored with me and that's because I'm dealing with self-esteem Issues. He makes me feel wanted and all but I still feel very insecure. So it makes me not so into sex. maybe she's having the same issue. Start telling her how sexy she is all the time. Not just when you're having sex. Boost her confidence. That's what I would want
Play with her more make it more interesting
Okay you don’t always get wet when turned on. Nothing is wrong with using lube! If she is enjoying it and you are too what’s the big deal?
Change things up. A lot of time in a relationship we get too comfortable in our routines, and when that happens the spark is gone. Be spontaneous in and out of the bed room. Pin her against the wall and kiss her like you will never get to again. Share a fantasy of yours and ask her if she has any. If all else fails Tease her for a few days or a week until she begs you to finally release her.
Talk with her. Women like open conversations. Ask her what she like. What turns her on. And work on it. You got this my dude.
if your relationship is healthy u should be able to talk about it... if you can't, you're relationship itself might be the problem
I guess you both have gone past the sexual drive zone and entered the let's live life zone. No human being has a permanent goal. I believe that applies for intimacy as well. The way your girl friend says that she enjoys it though means that she likes you more than just the sex. That's a good sign. Keep her happy in other ways apart from sex. All the best
Maybe try to make a sex game with her like truth or dare xxx I think this might make it a little more interesting for u two
I think it sounds like you need to add something new like sex toys. Maybe not even just for her but let her use one on you.
Oh man dude. It sounds like youve tried what you could on your own already. Your only true option to solve this is by straight up talking to her and mentioning exactly how you feel, your observations, what its doing to you etc. Basically, like how u wrote here. And, if she gives you a uninterested or obv dishonest response then your relationship or she has way bigger probs. Your gonna have to talk to her man even if u dont want to. You guys should still be in your honey moon period, not having sexual probs like this at 4 months together. Things do settle down a bit after a while and not every time is gonna be this hot drawn out encounter. Women do get dry, and, they do very often take a long time to finish, and sometimes... even just can't. It seems like ur trying to turn her on tho but are internalizing and reading into it and blaming your self for it. Best thing is talk to her dude.
Break up with her
Take a break from having sex, the tension will build back to the way it was before.
Well i think she feels intimidated by your stamina which makes her teach herself to hold herself from getting wet cos i take it from the moment she gets wet she is ever ready to cum so many times, just get her to relaxbim taking it she enjoys sex with you, just get her to feel relaxed more sexually with you, adore her more and you might be in for a treat... 😜😜
It may be medical... the dryness. Or, she may need to stop masturbating everyday, so she can leave some for you.
They have viagra for women I have heard