Sexual Health
+1 y

I'm a 22 year old 5'1'' virgin: how can I get laid?

So my life has been a huge let-down: I spent the first 18 years of my life being bullied, etc. and didn't make even as much as a female friend until 1 1/2 years ago, as a sophomore at college, but she had a boyfriend. Therefore, before college, I had NO experience. I also had to battle Asperger's syndrome and being of mixed racial stock. Anyhow, I'm only a semester or two from graduation. I have only hooked up with 5 girls, all drunken hookups, never had a girlfriend, and am really scared I'm going to be a virgin forever. I try to go to bars in NYC when I am home looking for a one night stand, and it hasn't happened. I'm not bad looking, I have a pretty solid face, and I'm in very good physical shape, I work out often. I graduate college spring 2012. What can I do now to lose my v-card already?
Updates:
+1 y
note: I'm 3/4 white, a quarter east Asian, as in my mixed race background
0 2

Most Helpful Girls

  • Heya

    Maybe this isn't what you want to hear... but my Dad had Asperger's syndrome. Yeah it was a battle for him. But he got married and had a kid (me). And we're a happy family. He's a great Dad :) and my parents are still married.

    He often mentioned how tough life was - especially as for a long time (until I was about 9 or 10) he didn't even know what it was that was wrong with him.

    Don't let you insecurities and awareness of your mixed race and Asperger's be the thing that controls you. Dealing with those thing is a large part of your Identity so don't misunderstand me here... I'm just saying don't focus on them.

    If a one night stand is truly all you want - then you might try using an "escort" with benefits - if its something you really want then it may be money well spent.

    But my guess is what you really want is someone who really wants to do it with you. So make it special... Try relationships for a while... see where they take you. And if it happens to be inside your girlfriend... then enjoy it. Because it will be more comfortable and enjoyable if you trust her than if its a random one night stand.

    You won't have your v card forever.

    Plus, if you're feeling like an old virgin... All you have to do is go through this site and you'll see how many guys AND girls are struggling with a similar situation.

    You will eventually lose it - just don't let it be an experience you forget. Some people say its better when you want to give it away rather than lose it.

    • well having Asperger Syndrome is much worse if you are a guy

  • hi, being a virgin doesn't matter, I lost my virginty when I didn't want to, I had no choice because I got 'pushed' into it, ( Raped ) so if I had a choice at the age of 19 I would still be a virgin, my fiance loved me for who I am, I'm autistic so life is a battle for me aswell, but I have a beautiful baby boy and the man of me dreams, one day you will realize that sex isn't everything, when you meet the girl of your dreams you will be glad that your still a virgin because she will guide you through it, unlike some of these hookers that stand on corners who will only charge you for sex. My fiance is 28 and he was still a virgin when he met me, to be honest I'm glad he was still a virgin because it ment more to him when it happened, and I'm glad that I could guide him through it.

    My advice to you would be to just wait, don't be to egar to have sex, it ain't all its cracked up to be you no, just save that v-card for girl you fall in love with, she will appriciate it hun, Trust me.

    all you need is your good looks and you charm, you will win a girls heart in no time hun.

    Keep me posted hun xxxxx

  • When a woman wants sex badly, she can usually get it. Unfortunately for you boys though, if a guy wants sex badly (unless he's famous), it's a huge red flag for women. We can smell the desperation because we're naturally better readers of body language. It will scare women off. I think you wanting it so bad has been your down fall. If you'd just approach women with the intent of getting to know them and having a nice conversation, your chances would increase. They'd be able to tell that you're not blatantly just trying to get in their pants, so they're more likely to give in because you don't seem like a creep.

    Piece of advice though, every guy I know that lost their virginity in a one night stand has regretted it. They later wish they had waited for a girl that meant something to them. Working on getting a girlfriend may prove more beneficial than just working to get laid.

    • ok but how should I differentiate approaches with girls I'm trying to be friends with and girls I'm trying to get with? Also, at bars, clubs, how persistent should I be when on the prowl for a one night stand?

    • Be a little more flirty with girls you're trying to get with. Just don't be desperate, it's huge. And don't be that persistent at all if you're on the prowl for a one night stand. A lot of girls are interested in that, and if they are, they'll give you the green light early on. Try too hard and you'll come across as a creep.

    • yep, they will smell it a mile away.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, I had a similar background to you... I wasted a lot of time... you are only young once... don't repeat my mistakes!

    The key to getting laid is just talking with girls... about anything... the next part is the hardest, knowing when to close the deal... It took me years to find out what I was doing wrong... and that was, not closing the deal and waiting for them to make the move... now girls these days are MUCH more forward than in my day... but I found after talking awhile I'd say something like "I really enjoy talking with you, would you like to go somewhere more PRIVATE?" If she says no, then you've lost nothing for trying... and if you keep doing this you WILL get a yes... the word "PRIVATE" means you are asking her for sex... she knows what you mean...

    By the way, Bars are a crappy place to meet women for shy guys... It's better to meet them at athletic clubs... lots of HOT women there... work, school, just about anywhere you can strike up a conversation... If you have a girl as friend...someone you have a "sister like" relationship with, you can ask her tips about your approach... Good luck, I see this question is 3 months old, I'm guessing you've gotten laid by now.

    All the best, and DONT WASTE YOUR YOUTH!

    Joe

  • "i never had a girlfriend, and am really scared I'm going to be a virgin forever,"

    Try not to focus on "is she into to me, how do I get laid, am I coming off too strong or should I stay friendly?" That will just put un-needed pressure.

    When you are out and about, try to focus on having a good time and enjoying yourself. If the conversation feels dull then stop talking to that person, if it feels good then keep focusing on just having fun.

    Girls already know you want to hump, so don't think you need to make that clear to them.

    and like vmw2008 said, one night stand sucks because you can't keeping humping and improving the humping skills.

    And again, I know it's hard and you feel pressured to lose it, don't worry about it. The right girl won't care about it and no one else really cares but you.

    • please define "the right girl?" What are some things the "right girl" usually has that make her "right" and everyone else "wrong?" Why are so many other guys more "right" than I am? Does this mean the girl and I will have common interests, she will always keep the convo going, overlook dumb sh*t I might do, etc.? And if a girl I'm friends with is doing these things, which happens, how do I differentiate? Or can I? Will a girl who's interested in my sex/romance be more touchy feely than a friend?

    • "Why are so many other guys more "right" than I am?" This is the source of why you may be single. It sounds like to me you are carrying a lot of anger towards the social world. I know you've been bullied and I hate that it happened to you. I don't know how you can overcome this but I have friends who also keep anger with them, I see it when they are in relationships and in everyday life. Somehow you'll need to figure out how to relieve it Don't take "right girl" so literally, it simply means a

    • one who likes you. Girls are great in the understanding field and your virginity isn't as a big of a deal as society seemingly puts on it.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 14

  • Well this is hard, but you souldn't try neither getting laid nor approaching drunk girls.

    For the first time it'd probably be dissapointing a one night stand, a girl that has no feelings for you, that doesn't care about you in anyway...

    Take it easy, be confident. You are handsome and have a good physical shape, but you have to work a little bit in your presonality and confidence is a "must-have", it's all about actitude in this field.

    The next thing you need is girl, one that you like and feel like you could love, go slowly, try to have a serious relationship. Your virginity ins something that you can't never get back, and maybe someday you'll find a girl who is going to be the love of your life and regret that have wasted a special moment with a stranger...

    This is just the way I see it, everyone should get a nice memory of the first time.

    • sorry but a one night stand DOES mean something: that you were better than all the other competition/guys at that moment, enough for her to want you inside her body.

    • emm, Do you realize I AM a gril? A night stand is a horny girl, the only thing tha matters to her is what you have between your legs, doesn't make you better than the other guys around. And you say you're a virgin, so you're not better than anyone in bed...

  • It seems like you just want to lose your viginity to boost your confidence. Don't be desparate and get STDs.. Don't think too much about sex. Get to know someone, build relationship and sex will be there for you.

  • Losing your virginity isn't anything special. Sex is something to give not something to take. Don't turn into one of those horny d*** heads please. And if you really want to get laid why don't you wait for a nice lady in those night clubs and start a friendship? That's the normal and more widely accepted way.

  • Just be funny, I knew a guy who would tell girls he had a 2 inch penis and they should not have sex with him because he'd leave them disapointed. Ironically that was a lie but saying that got him laid.

    • haha, brilliant!

    • nice

    • nice

  • If it bothers you so much, affects your confidence then go with a hooker. It'll make you feel better about yourself knoing you've had sex, don't feel ashamed about it if it's getting you down so much. You want to enjoy your life, not be self-conscious!

  • I'm a mixed race too, my father is Serbian and Russian and my mother is Australian, Italian, Irish, English and Scottish. To lose my virginity, I hired a really expensive prostitute. Not because I'm ugly or couldn't get laid, but because it was the best option for me.

    Honestly, it was the best way to lose my virginity. The guy made it completely painless, very enjoyable and taught me some great tricks that I still use today. But that's me, some people aren’t as nonchalant about sex as me, so...just get a girl shorter than you. Just stop looking so hard and she will find you or vice versa. Your 22, you’re not going to die a virgin. And keep in mind, some chicks are really turned on by men that are shorter than them.

    • holly crap girl how much was he? how did you come up with this idea?

    • $6000. And I came up with the idea when I was like...15? I think.

    • WOW wtf, 15...6000... umm, I really don't think it's the same for a guy losing his virginity as it is for a girl. For a a guy; correct me if I'm wrong, it's like you're being benched, for a girl, you're chosing to sit on the bench.

  • wow, your a shorty lol there's girls that like or even only prefer short guys. id say being a bit taller helps, me iam like 5'10. being funny and having a personality goes a long way. don't be nervous, I swear girls can sense nervousness. I have a relaxed laid back attitude that girls love about me. along with being a joker and don't take myself too seriously.

    anyway, hope you get yourself laid

  • just go to a hooker

    • ... beat me to it.

    • no. I've paid for sexual things, and I barely could get hard because it didn't feel sexual at all given that it was me handing them bills.

  • Oh Ok, first off I am really sorry bro for battling Aspergers prayers to you :). but I think you should just either try a online dating site. Or just keep going to bars or something I am sure you will find th girl for you bro. Like I am 17 still a virgin, and I plan to cash in my V-card when its the right time. Don't stress just let it happen. Best of luck

  • HOOKERS AND WHORES! But seriously man, you got this far. If your a decent catch like you say you are what's so bad about being clean for the right girl?

    • because no "right girl" wants a virgin. It screams bad social skills, something f'ed up.

    • Nah not really. If your social and capable of being compatible with this "right girl" then she won't care how antisocial you once were. Less people in your life means less problems also. :)

    • listen to him bro, he is right. No guy with class and good standards like yourself need to get laid with some whore or prostitutes. Trust me I know I been there , the key is to stay positive and be soicall go out and make some friends and maybe one of those friends might end up liking you someday.

  • Hey Buddy um OK so you want to lose your v-card right OK the only thing I can help

    You with is stop acting so desperate for it it is really unattractive I'm not trying to be mean um some girls like jurks that are like really Hott but there are some girls out there that look for personality but either one of them will probably shut you down try to stay nice and relaxed about that situation when you do go out Acked yourself and let the magic happen it's not that easy but just be your self don't Acked all needy I hope I have helped with your situation xoooox good luck

  • APPROACH EVERY WOMAN YOU GET A CHANCE TO AND THEN PLAY IT COOL. Don't go after sluts...they want players and your not ready. Find a nice girl, treat her well, move quick or get stuck in the friend zone (go for a kiss on first date but don't grab her ass or ask her home, once you have her in bed don't go to fast or get excited...women love foreplay and with enough they will escalate it.) Thinking of foreplay, have a game plan and don't be afraid to ask her what she likes.

    • Best answer! worked for me

  • pay for it...

  • Go to Vegas for your next birthday and find a one night stand there. that's my

    plan if I'm still a virgin and don't have a boyfriend by then

    • whoohh...i lyk this girl! btw how old are you now?

    • 20

    • I don;t know you and I'm assuming you're a of average attractiveness, you could hook up with anyone?

  • find someone shorter

  • I'm five inches taller than you and couldn't find a girl anywhere that would f*** me. I had to finally pay to lose my virginity. Girls just don't like short guys. If they're not breaking their necks looking up, then they are not interested.

  • but you said you hooked up with 5 girls. for ons go and pay. for life get a satisfied life without a woman first and stop crying, its not the best age to be a man, I understand, we have to pay for everything. but stop giving free attention to bitches and feminists.

  • There are many ways to get laid!

    1. Get a hooker

    2. Social networking online (facebook/game sites/etc)

    3. Talk to girls who are easy and desperate

    but I don't think any of these ways are the issue. The problem needs to be resolved and the problem is that you hold back when you do have chance. At first when it comes to the issue of sex you become honest to yourself and hold back because you are not turned on. You need to be more aggressive

  • Stop searching so hard for it...it makes you look desperate honestly...not to be mean...

    • do you know who I am or something?

    • men are supposed to be horny @ this age...it's not lyk his trying too hard or something...

  • wow. being mixed isn't a problem. I'm mixed (white and black) and I get tons of action. aspergers and the height though, that's a double whammy. I guess being Asian and a guy might be a problem depending on the girls.

    i have to admit I prefer guys with great communication skills (no aspergers), who are very tall.

    theres someone for you. what stopped you from having sex with the hookups?

    maybe you could try dating an Asian girl? I know a lot of Asian girls who date Asians and a lot of them are short. I've dated an Asian guy but he was tall.

    you should try edating. maybe the people there will focus more on getting to know you first and building a connection before meeting and getting physical (although you should show what you look like, do web cam, etc.) my friend edates a lot and got a serious boyfriend out of it once.

    • I'm not Asian, nor am I attracted to Asian women. They frankly all look too similar. And that's not being racist. And for me, Asperger's isn't apparent anymore. I don't do the whack or crazy things I used to do when I was younger. Its simply just that now, there are social skills and things I have to learn at 22 which most kids master by age 12. I don't want an f'd up girl.

    • When I said that "I'm not Asian," I also meant that culturally, and physically, I have no Asian traits, other than my dad having a few Asian relatives over time to time and some Asian paintings in the house. Also, Asians never saw me as Asian, and frankly, I'd rather "be Jewish" as I 3/4 am than "be Asian." The other problem with being a quarter Asian from K-12 was that it hurt me socially and exposed me to racist bullying in addition to other kinds which stunted social skills growth.

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