Sexual Health
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My boyfriend hit me because I did not want to have sex.

earlier tonight was over at my boyfriends house we were sitting on his couch and we started kissing. he went to slip my pants off and I told him not tonight. honestly its just not a good time of the month to have sex and I feel icky and wasn't in the mood. he didn't like that. he started yelling at me telling that I'm a selfish whore and only care about myself. I was going to do other things with him than sex but he began this fit before any of that could happen. I got up to leave and he grabbed my arm. when I turned around to yell at him to let me go he slapped me so hard he drew blood from my lip. we were both shocked that this happened and he let me go. I grabbed my purse and ran to my car and left. this has never happened before and I don't know what to do, advice?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • If this has never happened before I can assure it will happen again if you stay with him. Especially if you ever refuse to have sex with him like you did tonight or even something much less. You really don't have any options other than to break up with him immediately. Hopefully, you learned a hard learned lesson about being much more careful what guys you choose to have as a boyfriend and being even more careful about having sex with a guy you don't trust nor are committed to. I assume you really liked/loved him before you started having sex, but in case you didn't, that's the third ingredient you need in a relationship before you start having sex. He acted like a spoiled kid plus he has a temper that I would want to deal with again if I were you. From here on in, totally ignore him and keep your distance. If he pursues you please turn him in. If he wants to say he's sorry and that will never happen again, don't listen to him. If you go back with him I can assure you that the next time will be just as bad if not worst. Meantime, you'll feel more compelled to have sex with him regardless of your feelings. Good luck!

    • That's what's called, "Sexual Abuse"!

  • Break it off with him immediately and consider calling the police too. You'll be doing a favor not just for yourself but other girls you'll keep him from hitting.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I am telling you right now that this behavior does not stop and it won't just be about sex either. HE DIDNT GET HIS WAY AND HE LASHED OUT! I was 15 when my first love did it to me and I STUCK around and it got worse. He would always say he was SO SORRY and cry and beg and I would run back to him. Then the next time I got SNIPPY or wore a skirt too short or chose to hang out with my friends and not him he would "snap" and I would get a good slapping! There is NO OTHER SIDE! I don't care if you were screaming in his face and spit was flying out of your mouth or if you called him and his MOTHER every name in the damn book...HE HAS NO RIGHT TO HIT YOU! I tell my son, if a woman HITS YOU FIRST you need to THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. Grab her hands and hold her down, WALK AWAY, do something, but don't hit her back unless she is truly attacking you and you are fighting for your safety. If you were simply throwing words and attitude and he did this to you then he isn't a man! Tell him to go in the bathroom and grab his d*ck and go at it, but YOU DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM AND MAN THE HELL UP! Please listen to me...

  • He's sounds like a major a**hole. That is one thing I will never tolerate; domestic violence. Even if he's only done it once, it is unacceptable to hit your partner (other than playful/jokingly). But what you described is serious, personally, I would dump the guy. He hit you over something so trivial. You didn't feel like having sex, so what? That does not give him the right to go off on you like that. If he is capable of doing that to you then who knows what else he would do when he doesn't get his way. He is the selfish one. That is a huge red flag IMO, I suggest you get out of this relationship now.

  • If he's like the typical abusive guy, he'll apologize profusely to you and may beg for your forgiveness. That's what they do; they hurt you and they use emotional manipulation to get you to stay. It's obvious you should break up with him. By staying with him, you would be sending the message that what he did is okay.

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 19

  • outside of dangerous -bc a loss of control has no limits- that was totally demeaning and disrespectful. don't you think you should leave him?

    or rather. why would you stay with him?

  • I know he is an a**hole, and I strongly disagree with any violent acts. However, I have a feeling that there's more to the story than what you told us. Don't be mad at me! It's just a feeling I got, since you are trying to sound like you were just being an angel and he hit you out of the blue. Who knows? :/

    Advice? Leave him. You two are not compatible.

    • Yeah, I'm with you on this one. Something about this reads a little too much like a Lifetime movie...you were totally innocent and then suddenly he just let fly. Not saying it's a lie, just that I think there's something hidden

    • I'm glad someone agrees. :D

    • He hit her because she didn't want to have sex! What more would you want to hear? What on Earth could possibly justify him doing that? Think about it!

    • Show All

  • I'm going to be honest but I only read the title and judging by that alone, it should be, "my recently ex-boyfriend hit me because I didn't want to have sex. should I slash his tires?" just saying and yes you should slash that motherf***ers tires.

  • Leave him..I made the mistake of letting that happen to me..I stayed he kept beating me I was so used to him he made me feel as if no one else would want me have 3kids from him..finally left him..he commited suicide..life is better without him..once they hit you once its going to continue he obviously doesn't care about your opinion and he sees you as a sexual object

  • You really need advice? I thought people of the world were more educated about the obvious signs of an abusive relationship about to begin.

    No wonder the cycle never stops.

  • Advice? Either walk away for good, or walk away for good and call the cops.

    I hope you aren't one of those spineless submissives that take marriage proposals in the form of a black eye.

  • O: leave him now! you don't deserve the pain! he clearly doesn't love you enought because if he did, he wouldn't have hit you. Forget about him. There's much better guys out there who will respect you when you tell them 'no'.

  • You need to DUMP him. What he did is completely un-called for and he is the selfish one not you No means NO when coming from a girl (or guy for that matter). Besides never seeing him again you might want to make a report to the police in case he tries to approach you again.

    Refer to him as your ex-boyfriend from now on. There are plenty of other guys out there that respect a girl and understand when they are not in the mood. They always have their right hand and a bottle of lotion to take care of their needs. Let me know how things turn out.

  • Leave him! No one deserves to hit you, especially in a verbal disagreement. And over sex?! You don't owe him anything. Especially sex.

  • Woah! Girl, you better leave him. No girl deserves a guy who treats her like that. He needs to learn how to treat people right. Dump him, and try to avoid him.

  • Wow... you don't know what to do? For real?

  • You should have kick that motherf***er in the balls and see if he hits you again! But sounds like you'll forgive him and act like nothing happened when you should be calling the police to file a report!

  • you asking for advice means that it wasn't obvious that you should break up immediately. If it wasn't obvious then either you aren't telling us the whole story, or you 'liked' it on some level (don't laugh, it happens).

    Which is it?

  • Call the police. Press charges!

    Then move on with your live and never ever look back!

  • Talk about selfish!

    Run away from this idiot! Dump this jerk and call the cops and file assault charges on this a-hole!

  • Get out now it will only get worse. You need to tell someone about this as well. You may end up needing their help. He may not want to let you go, but to stay would mean more abuse.

  • Women are always choosing the most decent guys. It, certainly, does raise the bar for others guys to behave well.

  • Leave him. There is no excuse for him to hit you. Just tell him you are not going to put up with that child like behavoir and if he gets upset or yells or makes threats tell him you are going to call the police.

  • talk about domestic violence...

    warn the cops

    get a restraining order

    get all your stuff/move out

    before he takes your life next time...

  • Never go back to him. Relationship over. If he hit you once it will happen again!

  • Show More (11)

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