Sexual Health
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My boyfriend is sleeping in a bed WITH his ex girlfriend?

Allow me to start off by saying that I am a pretty easy going girl. Meaning that...if my boyfriend forgets to call I don't get all paranoid about it, I realize that he probably got busy and forgot so its not a big deal. If he calls and says he can't go out tonight cause he needs to get more sleep for school tomorrow...i understand I mean duh we all get tired and need rest so I completely get it. I don't care if he's friends with girls or that he talks to them. It also does not bother me if he hangs out with a girl when I'm not with him...i mean why would it? He likes that I'm so relaxed about these things. I'm just I don't know I'm not very dramatic and id like too think I have some common sense lol. That being said...i don't really like the idea of him sharing a bed with his ex. His ex girlfriend and him are still very close friends (that doesn't bother me one bit as I'm best friends with one of my ex boyfriends too) Actually I'm friends with her as well, she's a very sweet girl and I can see why he dated her, I'm glad they dated I mean she's super nice and she's a great person so I'm glad he had a good dating experience while he was with her. Now lately she's been having some problems at home (her home life really isn't that good and its such shame because she's a really nice person, doesn't deserve this crap she's going through). So she's staying with my boyfriend. This is totally okay with me, she needs a place too go and he's her friend so I really don't see a problem with it. But it was brought to my attention by my boyfriend that they shared the same bed. I know he didn't do anything with her and I totally and 100% trust him and her too actually. But its just...im not comfortable with her sleeping with him in his bed the way I would you know? its not so much me worrying about him being unfaithful since I 100% trust the both of them, its just...i don't know lol that just makes me sort of sad? id rather it be me I guess in the bed with him lol I don't know but believe me I'm not uncomfortable with it cause I don't trust him or anything like that, I really don't know why I don't like it. how do I tell him? I don't want him to think I'm turning into some crazy paranoid girlfriend or anything so I'm sort of hesitant to bring it up with him. and is it wrong or strange for me to feel this way even though I completely trust him?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I just think that really oversteps the boundaries in a relationship, even if they're not doing anything. Would he be okay with you taking your ex in and sleeping in the same bed with him?

    You seem to really give people the benefit of the doubt, but that's not always the best option; people will take advantage of it. You just seem so sweet and it's so wrong that your boyfriend is doing that.

    I'm a little more sensitive about those things so I probably wouldn't even want her staying there, but even if I could get used to that idea, I could never be okay with them sleeping in the same bed. There's no need for it. One of them can sleep on the couch just fine (maybe him if he doesn't want to kick her out of the bed). They should both be understanding about it if you say you're not comfortable with it, because you've already been so understanding with them.

    You don't need to convince them of your point of view or come up with a good reason. YOU'RE his girlfriend, not her. If you're uncomfortable with something, make it known.

  • okay honestly if it makes you sad to think about (which I understand I wouldn't even let the ex near his room) but if it hurts you to think that this girl gets to spend the night with your boyfriend and be close to him and the truth is your boyfriend probably doesn't see that its hurting you so he doesn't see the problem. talk to him about it honey. I'm sure neither of them would have a problem sleeping on the couch if they really care about to and it made you feel better.

  • You sound like a pretty easy going girlfriend. Honestly, it seems like he's taking advantage of how easy going you are. It's one thing to hang out with an ex but sleeping in the same bed with her is definitely crossing the line. Just explain to him that you're not comfortable with it. Not to mention it's a little innapropriate. You are surprisingly calm. I would've already freaked out. lol

Most Helpful Guys

  • oh you are making it so easy to cheat! I'm a guy and I would see why you would be freaked out by it if you were... guys aren't always able to control themselves cause we think with our d*cks so he may have already cheated on you with her and there is such a thing as TOO laid back so I say DONT be OK with it and make her go somewhere else and talk to him about cheating and by the way how old is he? your under 18 so id guess he was under 18 so how the hell are his parents letting her sleep in his bed? Plus guys at his (young guys in general but specifically teens) are immature and are more likely to cheat then older guys (not saying to go after the oldies lol) and for all you know he could be cause your so easy to be told "im sorry hun I'm gonna go to bed tonight early tonight cause I'm tired from studying" when he is in fact at a girls house or a girl is at his house or he's out with a girl... so I'm not saying not to trust him but you are so laid back that it can/will cause you to be played a fool by your guy

  • If I was your boyfriend and you weren't bothered about me sharing a bed with my ex I'd be concerned about you. Similarly, if my girlfriend said she was sharinga bed with her ex I'd be going loco.

    No way José.

    That's just taking the p*ss.

    In fact it's taking the p*ss so much I half wonder if this post isn't a wind up. I mean easy going is one thing but the current partners ex sharing bed with the current partner. That's just dumb.

    It's like when a guy having an affair says to his mistress that he sleeps in the same bed as his wife but they don't have sex anymore. Does anyone apart from the mistress actually believe that?

    • I don't know......lol and its not a wind up, I wouldn't waste my time making things up on the internet. So I take it that you think he's probably doing somthing with her? I swear he's not and I totally believe him, I just don't know how to tell him that I don't like them sleeping in he same bed.

    • If they arent' doing it yet, sooner or later they will be. All it will take is for one of them to be a little drunk and, just for old times, they'll be f***ing like two dogs in the road. Trufax.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 1

  • Doesn't come off as a very healthy thing to me if you and him are supposed to be in a commited relationship.

    Anything short of that I'll keep my mouth shut with this one!

  • He's gonna do her.

    • Yup

  • No, you should be a hell of a lot madder than you are, that is completely not OK. And I know you trust him and all but I think it's very likely they're up to something because I know that if I was laying in a bed next to my ex boyfriend I'd make a move on him. I would dump my bf's ass if his ex girlfriend was even sleeping in the same room as him.

    • Im not mad lol I just dnt like the idea of them sharing a bed, but I'm not mad at him at all actualy. trust me when he reallly p*sses me off he knows ha ha I don't hide it, but this doesn't make me mad.

    • It should

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