What will happen if I take a shower with him?

Have you ever taken a shower with someone? If so what happened? My boyfriend wants to take a shower with me but I'm a virgin and I'm not ready for sex. If I get in with him will he think I want to have sex or can I just tell him no and still take a shower with him? Or would it be better just not to take one with him?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • My boyfriend and I have recently talked about starting to shower together. However, we're waiting to have sex until we know we're pretty serious about each other (this is something we both want). First, I want to ask if this is something you actually want to do or is it because you want to please him? You should never let a guy talk you into something you're not comfortable with. I think figuring that out is the first step to making that decision. Showering together can be whatever you two want it to be. It can be an intimate (yet still an innocent thing), it could be causal, or it could be a "it's business time". That's something you need to discuss with your boyfriend. You both need to be on the same page before you do anything. That way to avoid an awkward situation and enjoy yourselves.

    I'm a virgin too, so I understand your hesitation. If you're a virgin due to religion, I would avoid it all together because foreplay, arousal, sex is all the same according to the church. If you're still a virgin just because you aren't ready or haven't met the right one, I would still be very hesitant. Especially since you obviously haven't talked to your man about HIS intentions. That tells me you guys aren't that comfortable with each other yet/haven't been together that long, if you guys haven't talked about this stuff yet. Unless it is very clear to both of you what the other wants/ is expecting and you agree on it, I wouldn't do it. Seeing each other naked, kissing, touching each other is very arousing and can easily get out of hand. And losing your virginity in a shower would be awful. If you're not ready to lose your virginity yet, I wouldn't open that door quite yet. Hope this helped, good luck to you.

  • A shower can be fun, and it doesn't have to lead to sex, but it can get steamy from more than just the water being hot. Have you told him that you're not ready to have sex with him yet? If not, I'd definitely start there.

    I've taken many showers with boyfriends, and it rarely leads to sex - at least not in the shower. It can be a fun way to start to get comfortable with each other physically, and a fun way to mix up the scenery. Also, if you're going to fool around (not have sex, just makeouts or what-have-you) after the shower, then it's a nice way to get cleaned up for each other.

    I say if you trust him then go for it, and if not, then wait a bit. I think he'll be fine either way.

  • I personally haven't showered with my boyfriend (yet) ha, but other of my friends have showered with their boyfriends a few times. And most of the time, they didn't have sex let alone did anything.

    So, just because he wants to take a shower with you doesn't mean having sex with you is his intention.

    And what other answerer has said, it would be cute if you made a jokingly comment about there not being any sex once you're stepping in.

    There could be a lot of fun that just goes on. Like ask him to wash your hair and have spit water fights and blow bubbles at each other. (: But don't do it just because he really wants you to, make sure you actually want to do it yourself as well.

  • I was showering with my husband when we were dating LONG before we started having sex. He's extremely tall, and has a long back, so he always needs help washing his back :). However, it didn't mean we weren't doing other things. If you are uncomfortable at all showering with him right now, he needs to be understanding of that and stop asking. But, you also need to let him know that too. Guys don't just happen to know how we're feeling most of the time. Not telling him and assuming he knows by the way you act won't help, because most of the time, guys are totally oblivious to that :)

Most Helpful Guys

  • I can say that shower would lead to sex for you since you are a virgin. It doesn't always lead to sex, but again I think since you are a virgin the heat of the moment would be too much for you especially if he is a virgin too. You will get turned on a little and he will stand at attention. If you all make out his penis will probably rub up against you and maybe even touch you close to or right between you legs if he is long enough. Depending on what you do it might keep poking you in different places.

    If you have never even touched a guy penis then with you having one right in front of you sticking out hard is just more temptation. Have you ever seen each other naked? If he has never seen a girl naked in person then I think getting to see, touch and rub or washing your boobs might be a little to much for each of you to hold back the natural instinctive urge to have sex.

    Sorry to be so descriptive, but I wanted to make sure you knew what you was getting yourself into. I remember the first time I seen my first set of boobs in person we came so close to just having sex. It was like a domino effect...she showed me her chest and then one thing lead to another. The only reason we stopped is because we both knew we wasn't ready for sex, but we came so close that day. If we had a condom that day we probably would have went all the way.

  • You can definitely take a shower that'll be fun with your boyfriend and not have sex. Just tell him kinda like a joke before you step in like, "I hope you know there'll be no having sex in there! haha!" If that doesn't get the point across, then plan on being in big trouble before too long as far as remaining a virgin much longer. It's also now a bad idea to just avoid the temptation all together because it might lead to losing it after you get out sooner than you had planned. Always avoid situations that put you in a weaker position on something you want to remain strong on.

    • well, 😂 I don't think y'all should take a shower together lol

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i can tell you that your first time won't happen in a shower... 1st of all its difficult to have sex in the shower... he prob just wants to be naked with you and share a moment like clean each others hair... if anything you could give him head. He'd like that. don't be nervous. I was at first but you get comfortable. enjoy it!

  • A shower is a very intimate thing to do with someone. If you still want to do it you should tell him point blank that you aren't ready to lose your virginity. But you are willing to take one with him any way. If he respects you then that shouldn't be a problem.

  • Showers generally lead to shower sex...definitely not the best spot for your first time considering that the water and positioning make sex a bit complicated and somewhat uncomfortable with the friction. I would probably avoid doing this until you're actually ready to sleep with him.

  • If you take a shower together you will probably have sex soon after if you don't end up having sex the first time you take a shower together. If you are not ready for that it would be best to not even tempt the fates. It would be like trying to stick to a healthy diet but visiting a dessert fair.

  • It's really fun but be realistic, a naked guy next to you looking at you naked, well he will definitely get aroused. If you think you can handle that, and not have sex you don't want, then have fun.

  • Ok you're under 18 and I credit you for avoiding sex. (I'm not trying to bitch) However, in the spur of the moment all sorts of crap can happen. You two could wind up getting it on when you originally didn't plan for it. So the safest bet would be not to shower with him if your not comfortable. If he really cared he would understand. If you still want to shower with no sex that's up to you. It all depends on how comfortable you are with the whole deal.

  • If he wants to have sex, you can say no. You should, however, wash his back if he asks. That's just good manners.

    • LOL hilarious answer.

  • It's best not to take one with him at this point. You'll need to describe your boyfriend a little more so that we can better answer as well.

    How long have you all been dating? How old are you all? Stuff like that. If you've been together for quite a while and he's respectful of your decision to stay a version then it won't seem as bad, but if you've only been together for a few months or so, then your better off making him wait or dumping him if he continues to ask you.

  • tell him you wouldn't want sex but you don't mind touching and the other showering parts. if he says something like the whole reason he wanted a shower with you was for sex than tell him to forget it and go watch TV or something.

  • don't shower together. things will lead to sex.

  • It could lead to oral and that's not a bad thing

  • you can let him know beforehand that you're just not ready. But, it seems to me, unless he's a REALLY nice, honest guy, that he wouldn't want to take a shower if that's not what he had in mind in the first place. And, if you decide to take it, try not to get caught up in the moment because that's pretty much the point of no return, when you don't even care about morals, you just want to 'get it on'.

  • well its a smart way to get pregnant accidentally unless he has a condom

  • no shower girl

    it leads to sex..

    unless you wanna try sex but shower wouldn't be the place to do it the first time lol a little awkward.

  • what will happen?

    you're going to get wet.

    the point is, if you feel uncomfortable about it don't do it.

  • foreplay with him=]

  • i don't think its a good idea because I really do think it will lead to sex if your not ready but if anything you can do other things in the shower other then sex if your ok with that

  • Me and my boyfriend take showers together a lot. It isn't that big of a deal, you showered with your sisters didn't you?. If you do and he wants to have sex then he don't respect you.

  • thats one thing I miss with my ex are the showers. we had so much fun. spitting water at each other, soaping each other down, id get him to wash my hair. but if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it, and if you don't wan to have sex, just let him know.

  • I'm a virgin too. I took a shower and it was a mind blowing experience. It was nice to be able to soap each other up:) You don't have to have sex, we didn't. Make sure you talk about not wanting to before hand, communication is key. If you do decide to have fun and don't worry, but showers will never be the same again!

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