Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
Why do guys get offended when asked if they're gay?
Anonymous
I've seen this happen a few times and I just don't see a reason for it -- why do guys get hostile or defensive when you ask if they're gay? As I see it being homossexual isn't a bad thing so you shouldn't be offended by such a question. Are they prejudiced, or just insecure about their own sexuality? I know a lot of guys are latent homossexuals -- in that case it's better to just own up to it and accept what you are, no?
Updates:
+1 y
Wow, so many prejudiced people here. Gay men are good people and not necessarily feminine... geez. It's just a question, and a perfectly innocent one at that, so men shouldn't have a problem with it. Let go of your stereotypes...
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What Girls & Guys Said
8 19How would you feel if someone mistook you for a man?
How is that related?
When someone asks a man if he is gay they are inferring he is effeminate or woman-like. It's similar in a sense.
"I know a lot of guys are latent homosexuals" ^^Not true at all.
If you ask that question, you're basically telling them, "You do something that makes you appear queer". That can be offensive. You're also asking about something that is none of your damn business. That, as well, can be offensive. Are you saying it wouldn't bother you at all if someone asked you if you were a dike? Have some tact, some things are better left unsaid.
you must be very tactful as you call homosexuals "queers" and "dykes"...
Yeh I mean if someone asked you if you were a lesbian its also suggesting that you have manly traits, I dont think if the Q was turned around you'd be very happy.
I was using those words to prove my point that she was being brash and disrespectful. Queer isn't an offensive term anyway. By using dike I was trying to get her to see how that might hurt someone's feelings, if she compared it to a man being asked if he's gay.
i still don't get it... if the guy takes it as an insult he must be homophobic...
I'm not homophobic, but I still don't care to be asked about my sexual orientation. If you aren't close enough to me that you already know, then it's none of your business! I could call you a jerk too, and maybe that won't offend you, but it WILL offend the next guy. Does that mean he's got a phobia against jerks? Hardly. Cmon now, let's use some common sense.
i mean the guys who think being called gay is an insult are homophobic... do you think it's fair to claim that being a jerk and being gay are insults of the same kind... jerks are mean... homos don't hurt anyone...
What insults one, won't insult the next. If being called gay insults you, that's fine. That is YOUR feelings about the topic. There is no right or wrong there. You can be insulted without hating the group, or disliking them. Someone could have a gay best friend and STILL be offended, if someone calls them gay. Different is just that, different, it doesn't mean they are wrong.
''i still don't get it... if the guy takes it as an insult he must be homophobic...'' hmmm I'm bi & I'd take it as an insult does that make me a homophobe?
i agree with you... we are all different... but it hasn't brought us any closer to the answer... if a guy gets extremely defensive when somebody calls him gay is there a possibility that that person actually gay and is suppressing his homosexuality..."
Most likely not, the likely thing is that they ARE NOT gay, and don't like being called gay. I'd say that's pretty well normal.