Why is it wrong for a man to refuse to date or marry women that have engaged in premarital sex?

[Anonymous]

If the guy is waiting I mean.

[bingcherries]

To your question: no it is not wrong. If that is a strong moral that you want to share with someone who will become your half, than that is respectable. Now, your other answers and conclusions about women who don't follow that belief are a little messed up. The counter would be, what sane woman would want to take a man that is used goods? Alternatively, why is the woman an item now, instead of a human being?

The reason a failing marriage hurts men (money wise) is actually a remanent from the ages BEFORE feminism. Women would not have jobs, and if they did would get a fraction of the pay, so the split of goods was to help compensate their "inability" to survive once the main wage earner disappeared.

Oldest profession in the world? Prostitute.

History of man believes most early cultures had matrilineal lines and passed wealth down the woman's side. This is supported by many different native american tribe customs. Why? Because you can always tell who the mom is, but not the father.

One of the most glamorous jobs for women during the silver screen era? Holly wood star (and boy did a lot of them get around, even when it WAS taboo. Tabloids galor!)

The first risings of women being okay to sleep around would be during the 1920s. Considering you still have the 1950s with the classic nuclear family and 2.5 kids, this would be a strong case against the idea that culture supporting wonton sex, led to increase in divorce. If a woman is more successful than a man, she often has a loss of assets in today's divorces. Now - how items are split up is different. Normally a man gets liquid assets/car and the woman gets physical assets/house, particularly if she has primary care of children. Why? Because a kid can get on the bus for school, but they don't want kids couch surfing. If a man gets the kids, the reverse is normally true.

As to promiscuity of either sex, men used to have harems and it was considered a sign of prosperity in the bible to be able to support multiple wives. They did this after marriage, so what does this say about them?

Henry the VIII had 6 wives, two of which were executed, and started the Church of England because his wives didn't give him a legitiment son.

During the history of war men (good "Christian" men) have frequently raped women. Men PAY to get in to strip clubs, and they are the ones who PAY for prostitutes. And you better believe they are "good christian men" too.

As you said "that was probably harsh and disrespectful." It was also ignorant. Particularly when you start citing history, because historically the question can be turned on men.

People calling you a loser for waiting for sex is wrong. Condemning everyone with the same title just because they don't is equally petty.

Divorce isn't always an evil. People used to have pre-arranged loveless marriages, get beaten daily, told they were nothing, and would yell and fight until they reached the grave. If the person you loved, is no longer that person, isn't it better?

[Asker]

An unmarried woman that isn't a virgin has no intrinsic value.

[bingcherries]

Except for what is in her head or heart. The love she gives other people, and the positive impacts she can make on the world. She can have the cure for cancer in her brain. Have saved people from drowning in the aftermath from tsunamis. She can build bridges, and friendships, and support people when they are down, and love the sinner but hate the sin. She can be forgiving, and follow the golden rule of treat others how you want to be treated and hold off judgement.

[bingcherries]

Every human has an intrinsic value in that they change something about the world. That SOMEONE loves them or they love someone. That they make ripples. You hate that little ass who just stole from the store? Well he also is the only child left of a lone mom who writes letters every day to the jail. He has intrinsic worth to someone. An unmarried man that isn't a vigin has an intrinsic value? Why? How about a married man that is no longer a virgin but has the nerve to cheat on his wife?

[bingcherries]

She has no value to you for marriage. That doesn't mean she is a bad person. That doesn't mean she doesn't accept your views and holds a grudge towards you against it. That doesn't mean that she doesn't find someone who calls her a treasure every night and commits to him, and is valued and loved and when she dies that she isn't morned equally as someone who had been a virgin. Does this mean that widows should never remarry? You are making her alone in a social world. A pillar with no effects.

[bingcherries]

If someone chooses to lose their virginity before marriage because they loved them than they are married as per the biblical term. Just because they devote themselves to one guy again and again does not mean they were the ones who gave up and left. They committed. Feelings could change, and what they had felt was true. Saying she has no value due to sex discredits her history of relations with all people and the world. If a "whore" saved the life of your future child, would she be worthless?

[Asker]

Well I mean in a romantic sense, and of course I mean for me personally.

[sunshine16]

bingcherries, well said.

[zombiefood]

I think, so long as you're waiting as well, it's perfectly fine to have that restriction. I don't think that women are slut sjust because they have sex. I think it's the attitude that they have towards it that matters.

I think that, so long as you hold yourself to the same standards, it's perfectly fine to expect a woman to be a virgin when you get married.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3oe1lK5MKw&feature=related

Watch this, and a few more videos. I think this guy does a great job explaining a strong, healthy and proper point of view on waiting till marriage. I, personally, don't hold the same beliefs and I don't necessarily belive everything he says but I think it's a good point of view for people.

So I understand you wanting a virgin but don't assume that every woman that has sex before marriage is a whore. I have, with my very serious boyfriend. We love each other and that is one of the ways we show it. That's not slutty, is it? To want to express love to someone that you care very deeply about?

So just don't generalize everyone, okay? Understand that there are girls who have unprotected, drunken, anonymous sex with all kinds of men but that's not every one.

I understand your views and respect them, because you hold yourself to the same standards but please don't think you're any better than any one else because of your beliefs about sex and don't call other people crude or rude names. That's all.

It's a good question though, one that doesn't deserve all the had you got.

Also, ellesaur- statistics show that men need marriage more than women to make them happy. So it does, in some ways, hurt them more.

[Asker]

Yeah except when things don't last. That's the problem with not waiting until marriage. Lots of "serious" relationships end long before marriage is a factor. Those women might not be sluts but it shows a definitive lack of common sense, and I definitely wouldn't want a used woman.

[zombiefood]

Not necessarily. Common sense, to me, says, I'm in a committed, very serious, very trusting, loving, honest relationship which we both don't want to see end and neither of us would do anything to end it so sex is okay. However condoms are still necessary and other protections must be taken. And that part is using common sense as well. My question to you is- why do you care so much that your wife is a virgin? Lets take out of the equations that you are a virgin. Why does it matter if she's is?

[Asker]

It shows me she is serious about commitment and that she hasn't already given herself to someone else. It also is the only sure way to know that a woman hasn't been tainted with certain diseases or has had immoral sexual dealings in the past. Also, a virginal woman is more likely to bond from sex. Also less baggage from previous relationships. Besides that it is slightly intimidating to have a woman with more sexual experience, and to a lesser extent it's territorial: Men don't share well

[Asker]

I've ended a few relationships over it and suspect I will probably dump at least a few more girls over it. Of course, I don't tell them that's why. I keep my shallow criteria to myself lol

[zombiefood]

It's not shallow because you hold yourself to the same standards. But I just want you to know that there are plenty of really good girls who have had sex, out of love and trust, and who have since become chaste and I think that's, well yes the hymen is broken but I think the virginity restored is just as powerful as physical virginity. I just want you to know that not all girls who've had sex are sluts, it's the attitude they have about sex. And their experience doesn't define their personality.

[Asker]

Well yeah, but what's done is done. If you're capable of doing something once you are capable of doing it a second time. It's impossible to escape your own past or your own future. For some people it doesn't matter what they do or what they choose. It's just fate.

[zombiefood]

I'll accept that one because you said "some people". I'm just glad you know there are others who will decide to stop and wait, and hold to it, and really keep that idea of waiting till marriage strong. I think because they're holding back now for real, and because they're really committed and their view point has changed they can have that intimate first connection. They can forget the past and leave it there. Just don't knock that kind of girl, too, okay? Most people deserve a second chance.

[Asker]

Yeah I shouldn't be so judgmental probably, but I have a lot of pride.

[jacquesvol]

Yeah, indeed, you shouldn't be so judgmental. In the long run you're your own victim.

[scar1]

he does have some good points, its just to bad he is a just an indiot trying to manipulate people into the cristian way of thinking. (mainly youth wich makes it that much worse)

[Asker]

Ok I was done replying to this thread, but I will not be associated with the invisible man or his gaggle of hypocritical followers. This is not acceptable. I am waiting until I am married because of love, health concerns and because I only want to sleep with one woman in my life. And because I have f***ing standards.

[ThreeSeas]

Women are not cars, their value doesn't decrease with "use"! I understand that you hold onto your values dearly, values which you didn't create yourself but were in fact written in the bible for you, but one day you may miss out on some great people because of your harsh judgements about the same act which created you in the first place. You are placing limits on yourself and may find yourself being 40 and single or being with someone who was your last resort simply because they were a virgin..

[Asker]

A woman that's had sex before marriage is a whore and isn't worthy of being married.

[zombiefood]

It doesn't make her a whore. Just because she's had sex once. We just... Really? Were you just saying that you saw my point that just because a girl has had sex before marriage doesn't make her a whore because you were tired of arguing? Because if so don't lie, just say that.

[Asker]

Well a whore is different from a slut. Honestly I get mad when I read some of the comments here and get a bit extreme in my statements, but I am not willing to say "sure, I don't care if you used to be a slut" to some girl I'm dating. I tried it once and things didn't end well, because she slept with my roommate. As Justin Timerlake said, never trust a ho.

[bingcherries]

History book + Religious Book of Choice + Country's Laws + Anatomy Book = more understanding about the history of societal thought, victimization, double standards, freedom of religion and choices, how a person's body works, and the evil past in one's own beliefs. Add to that the ideal of understanding of different belief structures, everyone makes choices you don't agree with and that we all make mistakes within our chosen belief structure.

[miki94]

I am a virgin, and I am waiting for the right guy, maybe marriage.. I'm not sure how my life will turn out. When I do have sex I want to feel safe. But not just because of the emotional tangibleness I am exposed to, when with a sexual partner. I will wait because I don't want to be branded as a slut. As simple as that. I DO mind the social conviction and I don't wish to deal with it because I feel like having sex. I just don't think it is worth it. Mostly it goes the same for every girl, even though many would never admit to this.

Now if a girl is more "free" then I am, and people can't bother her as easily, that doesn't mean she is any less of a girlfriend or a person. Even more so, she is probably either a stronger personality or more carefree then I am.

You asses her based on whether she had a man penetrate her or not before.

She is a human being that is not defined by her sexual experience. Her being a virgin reveals nothing but the fact that she is waiting for marriage, or looking for the right guy. That is not a personality trait. That is a preference that is usually backed up by fear of irrational social rejection.

So your "virgin-search quest" does tell me something about you. You are petty and superficial. Even though I am a virgin, knowing you are looking for one, would be a big minus for you in my book.

[miki94]

Note that I am talking about a girl, who did not sleep with million guys. Rejecting her for her sexual history in this case would be completely normal. You could be afraid she will give you a disease or have sex and then just dump you. That I can understand.

[random_hero]

You're just too young to be a slut, that's all. Eventually you'll be damaged goods too.

[miki94]

Go troll somewhere else... >.>

[random_hero]

Nah, the QA is right. You're only a virgin because you aren't 18 yet. Statistically you won't wait until marriage, so you're just another slut in training.

[miki94]

So you think statistics matter when it comes to personal decision like this one? If so, they would be on my side, because according to statistics 10% of girls in MY country engage in premarital sex. I suggest you go get a map. Maybe.. Just maybe... You'll spot more then one continent on it...

[random_hero]

10% that admit to it, you mean

[miki94]

Then how can you claim your "statistics" are any background for your claim? Most girls in your country could lie about losing their virginity, just as easily as girls in my country could lie about being virgins.

[MissLeslie]

I don't see anything wrong that he wants a virgin.

[miki94]

I do.

[random_hero]

The stigma is worse in Asia, because people have to grow up with the sins and expectations of their parents tied to their neck like a bastard albatross.

[ericneo]

HIV is HIV and attempted murder if you are male but not if you are female. No amount of sugar coated words will make that right for a guy when a girl gives him this because of her promiscuous past. As far as statistics go Durex records them for each nation and you cannot deny the statistics of an entire nation by putting it down to lies.

[Anonymous]

WOMEN TODAY:



1) Have an EXCESSIVE number of sexual partners then LIE about it to everyone (it is the single deepest darkest lie in their black hearts)

2) Party their youth away

3) Neglect sweet guys in favor of LOSERS AND DRAMA

They do this until they are SPENT USED UP TRASH and totally past their physical prime. Once all these guys she turned you down for have spermed her mouth and p**** and after she has swallowed their come etc - and they have used her up like a cheap piece of sh*t - anmd she has cheated on them and all that drama - ONCE HER LOOKS START SLIPPING ANS SHE GETS OLDER - then she will come looking for a "nice successful family orientated man with a good income and morals etc" to give her the live she thinks she is f***ing ENTITLED TO! And she is going to PRETEND to have been looking for this all along while she f***ed men who where losers and tried to "change them". She is going to try to convince you she is the Virgin Mary or has only had a few guys etc - IT'S ALL A LIE TO GIVE HERSELF THE WHITE PICKET FENCE AND MAN SHE PUT ON THE SHELF SHE FEELS SHE'S ENTITLED TO.

The games up ladies. Your not fooling anyone anymore. Only a few of you are getting away with this. Most of you find out the hard way when you can't get the same quality man you were capable of getting at 23. So you settle for 10th best - IF YOUR LUCKY. Use up your youth? Fine. For every action there is a counter reaction.

Over 29 = USED UP TRASH GOOD FOR ONLY ONE THING.

Any man who is PATHETIC enough to be the VICTIM of these women "game plan" deserves what he gets :The USED PARTY WHORE that everyone else f***ed first.

It's not about viewing women as "objects". It's about a persons BEHAVIOR AND CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR BEHAVIOR. Love me for who I am! Not what I have done in my past! NOT GOING TO WORK LADIES. Can you imagine a job interview. The boss says "I see you had a allot of jobs in the past several years mind if I call a few for a reference"? And you say "hey listen - THAT'S ALL IN THE PAST - take me for the person I am now".

This is not fair to ANY good man out there. It's also incredibly insulting.

And ladies. Don't respond with the word ALL. NOBODY EVER SAID THE WORD ALL. I'm reading this word again and again in the comments.

The majority of women are like this. Not ALL. The majority. Learn the difference!

[RolandX]

Everyone has a right to an opinion... Doesn't mean that your opinion sounds like it came from fortune cookie, written by a retard. But hey. Kudos to you for standing up for what you believe in.

As for this topic. If you want a girl who has not had sex. Then go find a virgin. There are millions who wait until they are married. I think that's a beautiful and wonderful notion as you learn each other and learn the joys of love making (and getting your groove on) together.

Not for me tho but thxs. I judge no one. Everyone has a vice, and everyone has baggage. If you spend all your time worrying about if she had a **** in her mouth then it means your not taking the time to actually know her as person. And then what's the point really. I say give me a girl who knows her body, who knows how to please a man and knows what she wants as well. I repsect that. And since its PROVEN that 1 in every 3 girls are raped at some point then you have to start looking at the big picture. I mean can you really blame a girl/woman who is uncle, or father, or friend, or someone they trusted ripped their innocence from them?

Like watching wolves ripping apart their catch after a kill... Disturbing doesn't even cover it.

So ladies don't worry bout guys like this. And for you dip sh*ts that are fine and then start asking her about her past relationships and questions about sex. And can't handle it and turn into whining, controlling, possessive and un-trusting shells of your once glorious self's? You get what you deserve and you know what when she's gone it's going to hurt like hell. AND YES the new guy treats her 10000 times better then you ever did and doesn't burden her with mountains of insecurities...

Marriage is a piece of paper and a promise. I know couples who are awesomely in love, happy , and both of them had sex long before getting together. And have been married LONG before the actual ceremony.. I say live. Share yourself with those that you want to share with. Some of the best memories you will ever have are on those nights. They define you as a person, and you grow from them, both the good and the bad, and the moments where dream becomes something tangible and you have elevated if at least for that moment to something higher then yourself.

/2cents

[tealgirl]

Agree, it happened to me but from a stranger... and someone that would hold that against me is not worth my time anyways

[bigblueeyes1]

nothing wrong with it...just good luck finding someone who hasnt.

[lisafaceire88]

Hi there,

Before I read your updates to this question I was feeling sorry for you , I felt that the sociological impact (yes sociological not psycological!) had made a great impact on you for asking this question. However seeing as how you've just called women sluts and brought feminism into something , I darn't say you're just as bad as these people for asking the question you are asking.

Society plays a BIG impact on everyone, it's just how we choose to accept it that makes our bounderies, you however have just pretty much shown us that you too fit in that sociological bounderies, and that upsets me. I no longer feel sorry for you. A man not accepting to marry or date a woman who's previously already engaged in sexual intercourse is on the same level or judgement as someone who calls a woman a slut for simply enjoying sexual activities.

Your question imho is no longer reasonable, how can you sit there and judge someone when you're here to give out about others judging you. It doesn't make sense.

Either change your view point and stop listening to SOCIETY's views ,or continue to question why you SEE IT WRONG for a man to refuse to date or marry a woman that has previously engaged in sexual activity!

[lucyloo]

You can marry who you want, if you want a virgin wife, then that's your perogative. You should be careful with your wording I disapprove of the word slut, its used so badly and usually by men who can't tell the difference between a woman whose just had a lot of relationships, to a girl who just likes to f*** anything that comes her way and even then it don't make her a slut...and boy oh boy, if you believe guys don't do this kinda thing, then you're wrong.

In the good old days, men could marry multiple wifes...i mean, if that isn't having your cake and then eating it, and then having some for dessert...then I don't know what is.

but at the end of it all, you have the right to your opinion and your way of living...

[Asker]

Sluts can have standards too. If a woman has ever had casual sex I'd say she's a slut. Or cheated or had sex outside a relationship or slept with a guy she just met that day. Or has been in a sex video or has ever been with more than 5 men total.

[lucyloo]

Well I guess it depends on your defintion, see my idea of a slut is someone who goes after other peoples men...deliberatly...and girls who literally wear next to nothing when they go out. But I wouldn't class someone who has had a one night stand as a slut. Everyone has a different view, I've asked this question at work, and answers are similar, but not always the same.

[Asker]

I think most women and men would agree with most of my definition that casual sex = slut

[lucyloo]

Yeah OK, but what if she's single, and when she goes out she has ocassional 1 night stands, does that make her a slut? because if she's single but would still like sex ocassionally, then surely the only way she's going to do that, is by going out and finding it. I've had 1 night stands, but when I am in a relationship, I'm with that person and no 1 else. IF she goes out and sleeps with anything nd everything whether in a relationship or not, nd sleeps with guys who are with sum 1 then yes a slut.

[Asker]

Yes. I think most women would agree ONS is pretty slutty. My understanding is most women haven't had one. And if they have this country has bigger problems than I thought

[lucyloo]

Well I'm not most women, and I don't think that the ocassional one night stand makes her or me a slut. In fact after splitting with an ex, and getting over the break up for two years, that one night stand I had was actually what gave me the confidence to start dating again. Made me realize I was emotionally and physically ready to have new relationships. And men do it, would you call them a slut, or the male equivalent..cause if not then you're just buting these women into a box as you see fit.

[Asker]

Yeah I don't really like manwhores but I only date women, and I don't want to date a woman unless she's never had sex regardless of the circumstances. Except rape I mean

[lucyloo]

Well that's your choice, and you know what good on ya, to be that strong and keep it until then is great, I ain't knocking you for that. But it isn't for everyone, and although I think the word 'slut' can apply to some girls, I think labelling all girls who do similar things as sluts is just not right. Just like not every girl in a short skirt is a tart, or that every man who has a beard is evil...its the stereotype. But not in every case does it apply..that's all I am saying.

[Asker]

To me any woman that's had more than 3 is a slut. This seems substantiated by CDC numbers.

[jacquesvol]

A CDC number are numbers given to STATE prisoners. It begins with a letter followed by five digits(i.e. A-12345)

[Asker]

Center for Disease Control sex survey link

[Standingpretty]

Ok QA, you are contridicting yourself from earlier: "Well I have no idea how many whores are out there. But it seems like even most 'Christian' women have been with over 2 men. Stupid sluts.". Apparently, anybody who has slept with 2 or more people automatically becomes a slut. Does not matter if they were in a serious relationship, engaged, or married and cheated on (then sleeps with a guy afterward), she automatically becomes a slut. Please keep your story straight.

[jdcpa]

The poster is just TROLLING. (Question has been Reported)

No real human being that is male would genuinely think like this.

It's purposefully written with the malicious intent to get a "rise" out of any female audience and irritate their insecurities.

Men love sex, and embrace (not oppose) the feminist movement and sexual revolution.

A woman who has sex is not a "wh0re," that would be your mother (a woman who waited and abstained from sex "a virgin," until she found the highest bidder for her vagina, and then sold herself under the guise of love).

How that's more virtuous in character or morality than a woman who simply had fun and enjoyed her youth, and is now honestly wanting to settle down with a man is beyond me.

[Kamio]

Are you asking this question from a christian perspective?

[lil_mzshayshay]

No you can choose this and nothing is wrong with that BUT you could miss out on a really great girl just because she's been active in the past!

[Minxxe]

you're a bit of a d***, I'll be surprised if anyone ever sleeps with you. the only reason you want to wait til you're married is that you think she won't have a choice but to stay with you.

Get a shag you'll feel better for it, you're so sexually frsutrated, I pity you.

[Minxxe]

who do you think these sluts are sleeping with? Is it not also slut men? But it's OK for them, right?

[scar1]

he specificly said the guy is wating in this situation

[mccollins]

Yeah but he is saying that all WOMEN who have sex before marriage are sluts, he says nothing about men. Therefore blaming women for every bad marriage situation and labeling them sluts

[Asker]

I am condemning the Christians that don't practice what they preach. In other words, fake Christian sluts.

[Minxxe]

it's not wrong for you to refuse if they're your beliefs and you have chosen to wait.

but it IS wrong for you to judge a woman/man becasue s/he has had sex. I've f***ed about a million times, but with the same man, there's no fooling around involved yet you would still judge me a slut.

Stop thinking you're superior becasue you're too uptight to accept that some people enjoy sex, whether or not it goes with/against your beliefs.

If you're so sure of yourself, why are you even asking this on an internet site - get a life!

being a single mum or "losing sex appeal with age" (which doesn't happen it's biologically proven that it improves with age) - do you even live in the real world - stop living through your computer and get out once in a while. (which I'm gonna do now, nice day time to go out and LIVE).

[Asker]

I'll tell you with near certainty that almost no man wants to raise someone else's kid and that most men find younger women attractive.

[Minxxe]

You are not most men and you're not qualified to speak on behalf of them all. what they say to impress freinds and what they'd do if presented wiht it can differ greatly.

[Asker]

This is true, I'm far better than most men.

[Standingpretty]

Best answer?

[acka72]

Here is your problem: women = campbell's tuna can. The fact that you talk about them as used goods also proves my point. So once your wife looses her virginity to you, are you going to cover her up and lock her up in the house? I think that appart from finding a virgin you should also look into her personality. Is she loving? Is she honest? Is she a good friend? Those things are mire important than the hymen on her vagina.

[random_hero]

Women that have sex before marriage are worthless whores. QA is right, and any Christian woman that does otherwise is at odds with her religion. Game set and match, sluts.

[acka72]

Dude... I know it's funny but stop trolling. I am a virgin but I don't intend to stay that way till marriage. I think testing the sex life before marriage is necessary. What if the guy has a micro penis like you?

[Standingpretty]

Wow, random zero, you are quite the little piece of crap aren't you?

[random_hero]

And you're a sorry excuse of a 'christian' woman.

[timetowaste]

Are you claiming to be a religious person? Because if so, you come off as very bitter, and I don't recall derogatory name calling being okay-d by the man upstairs. You should chill out a little, man.

[Asker]

And why not be bitter? I've more or less saved myself for no reason. Women don't value male virginity and even most so-called Christian women are lying, used sluts that defiled their own body and fail to live up to the morals they claim to have. I lied about being Christian to a lot of people because I wanted to try and become one, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made.

[timetowaste]

If you feel like your morality is not reason enough for waiting, then I guess you have waited for no reason then if you want to look at it that way. You've lived up to your values and morals this long, and there's women out that that WILL value that, and will respect that... but I'd reconsider that chauvinistic vibe you emit, or no woman at all will want anything to do with you.

[jacquesvol]

Indeed, you waited for no reason. What is new? Didn't you know it then?didn't your friends say it?

[Asker]

I was always under the assumption women highly valued virginal men.

[madiocre]

You lied about being christian... Can you see how you lying about that makes you as hypocritical as them.

[Quadrophonic84]

It's not wrong, it's just a different set of priorities. I would never marry a woman that I didn't know for a fact could completely f*ck the sh*t out of me like no other. Some women are pretty clueless in bed and I refuse to get stuck with one of those. Also, I had a virgin once and she got SUPER clingy which was annoying in many ways.

[Iadoreyou87]

I don't think is wrong to refuse to date or marry women because they haven't wait..the wrong part is to called them slut or whores, just because they decided to have an active sex life, a different view of life compare to yours...

also the only reason you didn't hear of fail marriage because divorse wasn't allowed, and infidelity because it was more common to wash the dirty clothes in the privacy of their home, and you're just putting it as infidelity was just a thing made by women, when the other side take on affairs as much.

used goods? really? as if we were just things.. that you can take from a market... ?

[Asker]

Used as in tainted, broken, stretched, seeded and otherwise claimed by another man. I don't take damaged goods.

[jacquesvol]

The air in which you move has been touched by others: are you going to hold your breath then? For how long? When you're on a holiday, the bed you sleep in has been used by others before. Are you boycotting hotels?

[Asker]

Air can be renewed, virginity cannot be. Your analogy is flawed, but just the same your argument is pretty compelling from a semantic standpoint. You should be a politician.

[Iadoreyou87]

and you should go back to the 50's when some of your retrograde ideas were accepted!

[Asker]

Hey it's not my fault most "Christian" women out there can't live by the morals they espouse belief in.

[Iadoreyou87]

Because men do better, Right?

[jacquesvol]

(Hvis standarder er gode, dobbeltmoral er dobbelt s?a godt. (Danish saying: if standards are good, double standards are twice as good)

[lucyloo2]

I don't see anything wrong with your views. I actually agree with you. I'm old fashioned in that way too. But, I also don't see anything wrong with premarital sex if your in love. I don't think that is whoring around.

[Distant]

Nah, bro. I didn't mean any offence when I answered your question. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin and choosing to be one. There's nothing wrong with pre-marital sex either. Just be open-minded and don't judge those who've had sex before. There are many girls out there who would love to still be virgins but some guy gave them a sense of security and belonging when they were teens, took their virginity and then left them. Surely, you could make an exception for such a girl?

~Distant

[Asker]

Nope, that ain't me. No exceptions and no ho's. Thanks for clarifying your first answer

[Distant]

It's not wrong. Just strange and very uncommon.

~Distant

[newgirl80]

It's not wrong as long as you don't preach your lifestyle. We all have our own beliefs. -But, recognize that you are eliminating a large population of people(depending on age). Also, there might be some people that have only slept with one other person. due to circumstances(broken condom, failed birth control, belief that the other person loved them) a child might have resulted. I would not consider this being slutty. Hold true to your beliefs. Noone can condemn you for that.

[AustinMan]

That's completely up to you. I married a virgin the first time but it didn't matter to me on whit. If you can't fall in love with anyone but a virgin, good luck because there's a real paucity of them out there these days past the age of 18. I feel like if the two of you commit to each other, then the past is in the past. Plus, she'll bring some sexual experience to the table and trust me, that will be a big help come your wedding night.

[devotedlyopinionated]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, if it's your belief then it can't be wrong. I think maybe you're going to potentially MAYBE miss the girl you are meant to be with because of a choice she made that was part of her beliefs.

[minniewilton333]

Hello Dear, Its really a pleasure to come along your email address in this site, My name is Minnie 25years old good looking young girl and in search of a friend. This is why I have decided to contact you on this site so that we can establish a good relationship and also get to know each other. Your age, race and religion is never a problem to me, all that matters is true love. Kindly contact me on my e mail [e-mail] so that I can tell you more about myself. Hope to hear from you soonest Lovely, Miss Minnie ,

[saphirasilverwings]

"In our granxparents generation marriage didn't fail and infidelity was unheard of."

You're kidding, right? Divorce was less socially acceptable, and infidelity was often kept quiet or ignored. But that doesn't mean that all marriages were happy or that infidelity didn't happen. Relationship problems, cheating, mistresses and prostitutes have abounded since the evolution of man. Just like lying, stealing, and murder. Do you really think feminism or equal rights for women caused every problem known to human kind? Take a history class. Certain things just go along with human nature, and sex- casual, monogamous, illicit and otherwise- is one of them.

[saphirasilverwings]

P.S. My mom's parents divorced when she was little after my grandpa had an affair with the neighbor. My grandma was a virgin when she married him (yes, she shared that fascinating tidbit with me) so I guess virginity doesn't always prevent problems, does it? My grandparents on my dad's side also divorced. My parents, however, are still happily together. Clearly somethingg is wrong with your theory. Also, why is it okay for men to sleep around before marriage but not women?

[Boltman]

Nothing at all. Just be aware that you may be passing on someone very special just because they chose to do what is very normal.

[sumina7]

Nothing wrong.

However, Hypocricy would be wrong. Saying one thing and doing another.

[elliesaur]

Marriage failing hurts men more?Wow,isn't that kind of sexist?Infidelity was unheard of because people weren't flaunting with it, not because it didn't exist.They had more shame towards the community than they do now.

Also, men have been whoring around just as much,if not more than women have,so what exactly is your point?

It's okay to want to marry a virgin.Go ahead and do that, but don't dare look down on a woman for thinking she's found the right man and had been let down by him.Being naive and trusting someone doesn't make you a whore,and it definitely doesn't make you 'used goods'.

What if you find your virgin and you marry, and the sex is absolutely rubbish?Who says one of you isn't going to cheat or ask for a divorce for that sole reason?We seek happiness in life, not spending a lifetime with someone regardless they're right for us or not.

[Asker]

Well the woman.that were fooled have unfortunately lost the mating game by being too.stupid to.go after the right kind of men. As gatekeepers of.sex these women's failed and are more likely.to.cheat or otherwise fail. A proper mother should be of good moral character and not some used bimbo.

[Asker]

Also virgins have no basis for comparison

[elliesaur]

I bet you're the kind of person who walks past someone asking for help without even looking because you're afraid they might be lying or trying to trick you.Not everyone is cynical and not everyone is afraid of trusting and giving everything they have to someone they love.The fact that the other has no respect for it doesn't make a woman stupid.It just makes the man a manipulative asshole. We obviously have different views tho, so let's leave it at that.

[elliesaur]

Haha what if they get curious?

[Asker]

Most people with that little self control lose it in or before high school. And blame it on the guy or justify it some other way. Hell if I know how sluts think

[lucyloo]

I will just tell you, that women do have one night stands...believe me they do, and it depends what you mean by 'most' because at the end of the day, we all have needs, and if we're single and ain't getting it, we might just go looking for it..simple.

[Asker]

Well either 50 percent or more of women have had a ONS or they haven't there's really no inbetween. What would you say is the answer?

[jacquesvol]

Explain what's wrong with ONS, please.

[Asker]

Well I'm speaking in terms of Christian morality. I couldn't care less what ungodly women do. They signed their own death warrants.

[citrush2o]

If you're going to date someone with the intention of marrying them, you may want to bring up the subject much earlier than the alter. If that is an important attribute in a spouse then you should find out before you commit to that level of relationship. Alternatively, you should remember that Christ does not hold our sins against us when we repent and are born again through Him. Likewise, it would hypocritical of us to hold the sins of others against them. Most men these days are (sadly) not virgins when they marry. Much to the disappointment of all the married women I've met. However, those men have been blessed by their wives marrying them IN-SPITE of their choice to give away their virginity. That doesn't make the act of sleeping around right, it's still sin. But Christ is about mercy, no self-righteousness.

[chanty123]

Well, there is a simple answer to your problem. Go find some man, with a daughter that he keeps locked up in the house, and only lets out with a male family member. She doesn't think or speak for herself. From here you can negotiate a good price for your new, and not used goods of a wife.Since she has yet to leave the home of her family, she will still be submissive and unquestioning to you. I hope you get a good price for your un-used wife to-do.

[StringofFate]

Your question is B.S. and bias. No answer. Stupid updates too.

[tex151]

If that is the kind of woman you want, then nothing wrong with that, but in reality the chances of finding an attractive girl that is a virgin, is very slim. Even church going preachers daughters get knocked up.

I actually dated a girl for a short time that was virgin, and she was gorgeous, and right off the bat told me that she was going to be a virgin until she was married, so like I said they do exist but you just have to look in the right places, and find yourself a hardcore Christian woman.

[Asker]

I'm not religious, and I refuse to give religion a try.

[tex151]

Not religious yet you want a virgin, the main reason why women stay a virgin is because of religion, premarital sex it's in the bible, so say you meet and date your virgin, she is going to be highly religious trust me on that one, and if you refuse religion, then she's not going to stick around very long.

[Ginevra]

It's not wrong at all. I WANT TO WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE. But my stupid self-esteem thinks that no guy would ever wait for me. If you don't want to have sex with a girl who has had pre-marital sex, then you do not have to. Just please don't call her a slut or a whore. That's not right.

[Asker]

Yeah that probably is harsh and disrespectful, only started doing that because the women on this site were calling me a loser. There are a lot of sluts and manwhores out there though, just the same.

[hazeleyes91]

I'm waiting for marriage too and I thought no guy would wait for me, but I found a good guy that feels the same way and we've been together 2.5 years

[Asker]

Good for you guys

[Ginevra]

Yeah,us girls can be a bit harsh to guys who are virgins. I guess we don't understand why men would bother valuing their virginity, seeing as they don't have a hymen to prove it. At least I don't fully understand. But I always admire it.

[bingcherries]

You do realize that the hymen develops with age, and most don't develop a full hymen covering and many people are born without one right? Or that things like gymnastics or horse back riding or child hood injuries can damage it without you even having sex?

[Asker]

How old are you Answerer? If you don't mind me asking

[girloncue]

that's not true. I've dated a couple men that back in the day when I wasn't ready for sex I told them I was waiting for marriage. They were fine with it. They even thought it was sexy I was a virgin

[Asker]

And I'm guessing you ended up not waiting lol Typical women.

[panamericano33]

I think that sex before marriage is wrong and I support you for having high standards...that's a hard thing to find these days. =) I don't think that men or women should mess around before marriage because purity is the best gift you could give to your future partner.

[quail]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your wanting to find a woman who has kept herself for marriage. However, you can't have a double standard; if you have been fooling around, then you can't have one standard for yourself and another for the women you date.

[Asker]

Indeed. I'm a virgin, but what cheeses me off is that many virgin women are OK with dating non virgin men

[jacquesvol]

You want to control their sex life even before marrying them?

[jacquesvol]

Or do you feel so insecure that you wan't a girl who isn't able to compare?

[Asker]

No. I just have standards. Don't want a bad woman raisng my kids

[jacquesvol]

What's 'bad' about making love?

[girl_power]

there is nothing wrong in not wanting such woman. but you have no right to judge someone either

[myspacemybroke]

Alright, so a bit of a necro question, but I must comment.

Just because a girl isn't a virgin doesn't mean she was a slut.

Of course if you use terms like "whore" and "slut" it comes across completely negatively.

You can't expect everyone and their dogs to share the same morals as yourself.

By simply having a personal rule that consists of marriage to a non-virgin is off limits, you are totally shallow. What if you meet a girl, hit it off great, have a lot in common, end up "falling in love" -if I may use such a pedestrian phrase- and you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Turns out she's not a virgin, maybe has even been with more than one guy in the past. Out the window right? Who needs her?

"Why would any sane man take used goods"

Well any *man* and not a simpering dunce like yourself would realize that woman are people to be treasured and loved just as much as any male, not some kind of expired milk product sitting in the back of your fridge.

"marriage didn't fail and infidelity was unheard of"

Tell me you're not this dense. Marriage didn't fail because woman were possessions to be kept by a man, if their marriage failed they were stale and unworthy of a second chance. The only reason infidelity was never heard of was because it was the men who had countless mistresses and no one cared if males slept around because if they did it was most likely a failing on the part of the wife to keep her marriage intact.

"marriage failing hurts men more"

Again, tell me you're not this dense. You can't blanket label something like a divorce. Every situation varies. Don't be that idiot who thinks he knows everything about everyone's lives.

[random_hero]

It's statistical fact America has the highest divorce rate in the industrial world and that's in large part due to infidelity. In addition to this men usually pay the bulk of the legal costs associated with alimony. Point to QA IMO

[myspacemybroke]

I was assuming her was referring to "hurt" in an emotional sense, which cannot be possibly blanket termed. Though I see what you mean from a financial stance.

[Yukey]

Well I hope "gang raped" women done count there >>

I agree up to a certain point, I mean if all men were like you girls would finally have some damn self respect

In the same time I must agree that not all girls fool around

There's even those few that it was a 1-time mistake

I mean, in this day and age its encouraged by pretty much everyone and everything

Some are bound to make mistakes they can't take back, no mater how much they regret it

So you might have to set some limits bigger than 0

PS

Yes our parents/grandparents time was more ... self-restrictive, but in the ame time girls werent alowed to be even friends with males

And because of tht my mother fell victim to a huge pretender/liar

Plus girls my age back my mom's time thought that sitting on a toilet could get you pregnant

Their time has its bad sides too you know xD

[l-hedoniste]

No, not wrong, but note that many women (wisely) find extreme inflexibility a Big Red Flag in a relationship, and will refuse to date this guy under any circumstances.

[dudeman]

not true at all

[Asker]

If the man is a good enough liar or good looking or really charismatic they will put up with it.

[l-hedoniste]

I'm sorry, you're right; girls are really hot for stubbornness and the inability to compromise. I must have been thinking of something else.

[dudeman]

women like inflexible, they like a man that handles his bussiness and knows what he wants the thing is when you know exactly what you want and let it be know less women will fit the bill and they will say they won't date you only because they can't and don't want to feel overlooked its a defense mechanism

[dudeman]

what you call comprimis is definitley not comprimise, comprimise is what's for dinner, where we eat, where we live, what cars we buy what house we buy, where you vacation all these things are stuff to find a middle ground on he holds this to be important to him and his life therfore its is not being stubborn its being an adult, if you like hicking and camping living hundreds of miles from nature might be a bit of a problem

[DonMichelle]

If there's one thing I like about your answers I-hedoniste... it's the acidic sarcasm!

[l-hedoniste]

Sarcastic? Moi? Never!

[jacquesvol]

I-hedoniste, I like them too.

[Asker]

Heh I'm pretty sure he'd agree he likes his answers too

[l-hedoniste]

Thanks, guys!

[bingcherries]

Mmmm sarcasm. Allowing people to agree without agreeing since common users could meet at a base line intelligence level. I approve.

[usbiv223]

Actually, infidelity may have been unheard of, but it still occurred plenty. Simple blood typing tests alone have suggested a high incidence of infidelity discovered during the red scare in the late 50's. The test results were not released; researchers thought that they were going to show American's high moral values.

On the whole, if you only want to date virgins, go for it. Anybody gives you crap about it, tell them its important to you and to eff off. It's rather presumptuous to tell someone that what they're into is wrong.

However, don't think that you're going to convince me that its wrong for two people to engage in sex outside of marriage if (1) they do so voluntarily and (2) they have no obligation to anyone else not to do so. The used goods argument is rather weak; have you ever bought a used car? How about restoring a classic car? How about enjoying an antique table?

[mimiperson]

Uh... not everyone who lost their virginity did it willingly.

Are you including people who got raped? I mean, I got molested when I was a kid but that was against my will and I am waiting for marriage before I plan on willingly participating in sexual acts. Don't tell me all the virgin guys won't even date me because of something that happened when I was 5!

:O

[random_hero]

Not sure about the QA, but I wouldn't date you because you engaged in sex after that incident and used it as an excuse to justify your poor life decisions, which shows a lack of moral character and blatant immaturity.

[random_hero]

One of the first things I vividly remember is being molested by some crazy ass lady my parents left me at when I was 3 or 4. I remember her hands on me and telling me to not tell my parents about it. And that stupid fan. But I stayed pure unlike most of the garbage that is humanity out there.

[mimiperson]

lol no I didn't. I did not engage in sex after that incident. And I am sorry that you were molested. And now that we are on the same level, I don't think they are garbage. I just think that they are... misled.

[aidsleen]

there is nothing wrong with it, it will just be difficult.

there aren't many people who will get past college age and still be a virgin, it's socially acceptable these days to fool around a bit.

the reason its "wrong" is because people will take it the wrong way, like having had sex is a negative reflection upon them. which it isn't, if you imply it is then that is wrong.

[hockeyrulesforever]

I am a virgin abd I intend to stay Pne until I get married. For me I'm just not attracted to men who have had sex before. I don't know if I am like you where I'm totally against the idea of being with someone who isn't a virgin but I guess in a way I am similar. I totally understand what you saying but I used to be very skeptic of teen moms with a kid but one of my close friends that I met 2 years back had a kid and she was just a wonderful and intelligent person do I don't think it's right to be so completely against the idea of being with a non Irgun. I think it just depends on the person and whether in general you have the same morals.

[girloncue]

it isn't wrong, it just limits your options

I'm not a whore, I only sleep with men within relationships...and I also am not into marriage either, so I'd be a virgin forever...

[Asker]

Well I have no idea how many whores are out there. But it seems like even most 'Christian' women have been with over 2 men. Stupid sluts.

[jacquesvol]

You seem to know them and to what they did in their intimity : were you in their sleeping rooms then?

[Asker]

I'm going off of CDC numbers

[quail]

What do you call the men who sleep around? Stupid pimps? Why not give equal time to the men who sleep around while degrading fallible human beings? It takes two to sleep around, so don't leave out the men and the part they have played in all of this.

[girloncue]

I feel like calling them stupid sluts is a way to get any woman. You obviously have an unhealthy procupation with this issue. I'm sure there is a website that has matching up virgins like eharmony or something.

[Shaun]

I'm with you there.

[random_hero]

Having dealt with eharmony, I can say that this is not correct. A lot of the Christian women on there are not virgins and a few of them that claim to be are probably lying. Never trust anyone that has a message from God, don't trust a whore of a woman that has cheated or had sex and never expect people to change. Because they don't change, and Christians are the most hypocritical people in the world. IMO Grace is not enough, and God is NOT good. If he exists at all, he abandoned his children

[KarKingJack]

Because its usually paired with the kind of people who say "Why would any sane man take used goods?"

Lol.

[Asker]

Yes, I said that. It's true, isn't it? Women are a depreciating asset as it is, and it's already a certain folly to invest in something that loses a lot of intrinsic value with age, right? A good investment typically yields value or profit, whereas investing in women rarely does. It makes more sense to lease women.

[Asker]

A financially successful man is likely to gain more money as he ages, a woman will almost never become more beautiful. Best case scenario is she ages well and retains the value she had.

[KarKingJack]

LOL, what the f*** is wrong with you?

[Asker]

I'm realistic.

[KarKingJack]

Your insane

[Asker]

Not trying to be a d*** about it, but it's essentially true. Women are not an asset that increases with age. Ask any married man that

[KarKingJack]

Well, no. Your correct, but like. Seeing them as an 'asset' is such a downer of a view. Going down that line of logic, there'd be no point in marrying at all, other than conforming to social convention. As you can you can sustain emotional attachments to females and benefit from whatever part of a relationship you most desire, from multiple silent assets, without them being any drain on your resource.

[mccollins]

Also...what if you marry a virgin and she completely sucks in the sack? Lol you have no way of knowing if either one of you can satisfy your partner. It would suck to spend the rest of my life with a guy who couldn't even come close to getting me off.

[Shaun]

Anybody can be openminded and adventurous with their partner, they don't have to sleep with hundreds of people to get to that point, it's a mindset.

[Blobb]

nope it's a skill. Just like walking and talking aren't mindsets, they are skills, same for sex.

[Asker]

well what if the guy was a virgin but he had a huge d*** lol

[rocksongwriter]

@Blobb anyone can learn skills - if they are willing.

[mccollins]

Its not wrong if that's what you believe. THAT SAID not all women who have premarital sex are sluts; it just means that they don't share the same belief as you. And you can't seriously blame the higher divorce rate on the fact that people don't wait for sex, its because nowadays there are so many stresses and divorce is more widely accepted and not as taboo as it was for our grandparents.

Also "marriage failing hurts men more" What the f***? You don't have any right to say that, I would say it hurts both parties equally. I've known so many women who were absolutely crushed by a failed marriage.

Stick with what you believe, but try to be more accepting of people who don't share the same belief as you.

[Asker]

Men have to pay more for divorces if they make the mistake of marrying a used up slut, usually lose their kids too. I do blame it on feminism, he timeline matches exactly with he rise of feminism. Which told women its OK to be whores that sleep around. Women shouldn't marry or date players either. As a man that's a virgin and actually follows these things filthy hypocritical sluts make me sick. Especially if they pretend to believe in Christian beliefs they don't live by.

[teardrop06]

So you are saying that before feminism and the guys whore around that it was OK. There was plenty of whoring around in the past before feminism. It was just because women did not say anything. Now we are just upfront about everything.

[mccollins]

Wow I don't have a problem with your beliefs, I do however have a problem with you being a d***. Not everyone is Christian or religious and you have to accept that. Men have been sleeping around for ages, even so called "religious" ones and they kept women in relationships that they had been unfaithful in by telling them divorce is wrong. Feminism taught women to be strong and independent. I am sure there are a lot of virgin feminists, so it has nothing to do with feminism. The reality of today

[mccollins]

is that religion is becoming less popular. That is not the affect of feminism that is the affect of science and learning more about the world. Also you say that men lose there kids and have to pay money, what about men who leave their wives as single mothers and then go marry a younger woman or just go out to party. Do you know how tough it would be to be a single woman with kids? I think you are a sexist, chauvinistic, asshole who generalizes everything.

[Asker]

They made that choice when they opened their legs without considering their personal income and whether they were ready to bring life in to the world. It's not my fault the dumb sluts don't have any foresight, now is it?

[bingcherries]

So you want them to have the feminist ideal of working on their own to gather an income, but not be free with their body? And if you married her, as a virgin, planted the seed, showed her want an ass you can be, and only then did she get a divorce, or conversely the man she committed to left - then yes it was his fault to. Hell, when people get prenant it is always 2's fault unless it is rape. Eggs + sperm = kid. Someone stuck it in. You should take care of the consequences too.

[Asker]

"So you want them to have the feminist ideal of working on their own to gather an income, but not be free with their body?" Yes, exactly. If a woman isn't a virgin I will immediately dump her.

[girloncue]

this

[mccollins]

I am curious why is a woman who has had sex "worthless" to you? What changes in her that earns her such a title? A woman who has sex is still beautiful, she is still smart and caring and perfectly able to have children. Sex changes nothing. Unless you are so insecure that you don't think you could measure up to other guys? And most womens "used goods" are still perfectly intact and if they didn't tell you they had sex you wouldn't be able to tell. Also you apply the term slut way too liberally..

[mccollins]

A slut = a woman who has sex with many many men whom she has no feelings for what so ever. BUT I have had sex before marriage and I am not a slut. I love that person and I'm devoted to that person. Sex is not casual to me, it is sacred and only meant to be shared with someone I love.

[random_hero]

A slut or whore according to the Bible is a prostitute or any woman that is a fornicator or has sex outside marriage. In the end times, there would be many fornicators. Most Christian women these days, by biblical definition, are whores and fornicators and quite unrepentant about it. The world does indeed deserve to stand condemned, unfortunately the closest thing to a God in this world is me.

[Just2DangNice]

abstinence is necessarily. I don't mean to challenge your beliefs, but to refuse to be with somebody over such a trivial (it really is) fact, is ridiculous. You should date and marry someone because you like who they are, not where they have been.

[random_hero]

A person's past is part of who they are, whether they like it or not. What someone does with their back against the wall or when they think there are no consequences reveals who they really are, their true persona. And there's no changing that. So yes, people can and should and always will be judged for their past

[-StillWater-]

It's not wrong.

Why would it be wrong?

[gemglam]

Not every woman who engages in pre marital sex is a slut. Your views are clearly misguided. I got raped when I was 20 and got pregnant from the outcome. I wasn't ready to be a mother or have sex, would that make me a bad person. Yes I chose the keep my baby and it was the best choice I ever made. I am still looking for a man who doesn't engage in premarital sex. There aren't many who do. Don't be so quick to judge something, you don't understand please.

[Standingpretty]

Um, because if you love someone something stupid like that shouldn't matter? Women aren't tires that get worn out and need to be replaced, THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS, with feelings, emotions, goals, and dreams just like you. A woman is not an object that gets used up and is no longer vauble. You marry someone for who they are on the inside, not because of the condition of their vagina. Oh really? A failed marriage hurts men more? Prove it. You can't speak for everyone and certainly not most people either. Refusing to marry someone who has a different belief system then you is fine, but seeing women as items with expiration dates is not.

[harland1980]

Let me ask you a question have you remained pure. If not how can you ask your partner to do something you were not capable. That is why marriages fail because one partner expects the other to be better than themself. Unrealistic expectations and lack of communication kill relationship, not women that are openly-sexual women.

[Asker]

Yes I have

[DonMichelle]

It isn't wrong... it's your choice. You've just got to realize that you may never find a perfect virgin bride, they're hard to come by nowadays. Your morals/beliefs could cause you more pain than satisfaction! Think carefully about this one, these girls do exsist, but will you meet one?

Your best bet may be dating websites, meeting these girls on nights out is unheard of!

[KinkItUp]

Why is it wrong? Not wrong at all!

I'm a virgin.. we're not THAT hard to find!

[rocksongwriter]

"we're not THAT hard to find!" You kinda are.

[KinkItUp]

well hello there. you found me! haha

[mimiperson]

Actually, a lot of girls lie that they lost their virginity and they didn't, and vice versa. The only way to know the most accurate percentage is by going through medical records, which aren't going to be broadcasted. And it is very easy to lie about your virginity, especially to someone who is waiting till marriage before having sex. And most girls have either had sex willingly, been raped, been molested, or were circumcised. So good luck finding a virgin without baggage!

[KinkItUp]

good luck with finding a partner without baggage! we all come with our baggage. it has nothing to do with being a virgin. plus, a person can lie about many other things... things that would supposedly affect the relationship. once one lie is discovered, then that person shouldn't be trusted with anything. and lying about virginity is really very easy to discover. if you don't know why or how then... I don't know how to explain it!

[melanie-nicole]

I don't think it is wrong to turn down a girl because of her past. If you want to wait till marriage, and you want a woman that feels the same way, that's completely fine and good for you. Nothing is wrong with that. Here are the things that are wrong, and why:

To call women that partake in premarital sex sluts and whores is wrong. Despite your views on premarital sex, you do not know these girls' sexual experiences. You do not know that they weren't raped. You do not know their views on premarital sex. You do not know what they consider sex to be. And you as a man do not know the current female pressures to be beautiful, to fit in, and to be sexy.

To blame the large amount of young women that have premarital sex on feminists is wrong. You do not know where the pressures that pushed these young women into premarital sex stemmed from so you cannot assume it is feminists that these young women have turned to to justify their actions.

[Ncvitanic]

Not wrong at all, but degrading women and calling them sluts isn't good, just because they don't have the same thoughts. If you are going through with this then I suggest finding a partner that isn't it a westernized country. Thailand etc.

[Asker]

Indeed, I'm quite serious I would rather end up alone than ever consider dating or marrying a woman that isn't a virgin, for any reason whatsoever. Unless the reason was rape.

[BCRanger10]

There is nothing wrong with dating a woman who has had sex before. I'm a virgin but I would date a girl who's not, provided she would respect my decision to remain so until marriage. I don't think it's necessarily wrong, it's a matter of personal preference. However, if your view is "you're a s*** and God hates you!", then that's where you will have problems.

How many guys pull the "if you you really love me, you'll have sex with me" card and how many girls fall for it or don't think to say "if YOU really love ME, you'll respect my decision to say 'no'"? I read a book last summer called Loose Girl: A Memoir in Promiscuity by Kerry Cohen. I would recommend reading it.

[random_hero]

Well then the women that fell for that are weak-willed. They failed in their basic biological task of being the gatekeepers of sex. QA is right IMO

[BCRanger10]

I respectfully disagree with you, sir. Most of the instances I know of when that BS is pulled occur when girls are teenagers when they are more emotinally fragile and think love is just a touch-feely emotional high, when true love is ultimately willing the good of the other person. Read up on "eros" and "agape". In fact, a lot of people around my age still don't seem to fully grasp it. If you ask me, the "men", being physically stronger, failed in their basic tasks as the protectors.

[BCRanger10]

Again, I urge you to read Kerry Cohen's book "Loose Girl". It will give you an insight, however great or small, as to what goes on in a girl's heart and mind when she is looking for love and wanting to be seen as beautiful and valuable.

[random_hero]

From reading the synopsis it sounds like a book written by a bitter slut that desperately is trying to justify said slutiness.

[BCRanger10]

The key words in the synopsis is "descent into promiscuity". In the book, she notes that she is not proud of what she did at all. It's about how she was looking for real love and how she felt she had to hand herself over completely to get it. You and QA are very wrong. My question for you is where does it say that the basic biological task of a woman is to be the gatekeeper of sex? I would argue that the man is because he is physically stronger and has a duty to protect.

[alwaysyoungatheart]

because us girls would get kicked to the freak'n curb yeah you wish it was that easy buddy...

[random_hero]

It is that easy. Most of you are lying whores.

[mimiperson]

Maybe you should reassess your expectations for your potential mate and work on your inner self before hitting the dating scene. Most women- virgins or not- don't want to date someone who says most of us are "lying whores".

[random_hero]

Most people are trash, and liars that cannot be trusted. Women are no exception, but most women use sex to hurt or control men. Most women cannot be trusted, because they will lie and use and betray you.

[mimiperson]

Lmao and vice versa! How many guys use sex to hurt or control women? RAPISTS! Mainly men! Helloooo. lol you are such a troll

[kemosavy]

because girls are ofended and insulted if they are refused. To put it in man language. it be like doing up a car to hand over as a birthday presant and the birthday girl/guy not likeing it.

[Mesonfielde]

For one, I disagree with marriage being an ultimate prerequisite for sex. It's like, "we have a paper now, we can legitimately and legally have sex! Yaaay!" I mean, no. If I want to be committed to someone, I can do it without a paper. I don't need a certificate to justify our mutual sense of attachment.

And let's not forget that the ideal of "getting married and living together with someone forever and in love" is sort of disappearing, due to the influence of the media and that various sociologists and other "experts" claim that versatility and going for something better constantly with no restriction is beneficial for gathering experience, while being bound gives limitation to personal development.

Bla bla bla, I know that was boring. Even I realize that, haha.

HOWEVER.

What you should take into consideration is not the fact of whether she's virgin or not. It's whether she is promiscuous or not. Apparently, I accept how you would reject slutty girls that have had sex with more guys than a dozen "merely to have fun". But I don't think you should say "damaged goods" (in fact, why do you even use the word "goods" for a human.. virginity is a one-time only thing) about someone who used to be in a relationship for 4 years for example, then her boyfriend broke up with her for some really stupid reason.

[Asker]

Still shows a lack of self control and poor judgment.

[Mesonfielde]

well if you tell me what she would gain from that self-control, I'll be glad to hear. Just make sure the reasoning is non-religious.

[sunmonster]

Wow, that doesn't happen much in today's society. Cheers.

But if you are expecting a virgin, like yourself, that's probably not going to happen. But there is nothing wrong with it.

[playa_pan]

Not wrong.

Everyone has a preference

[beastman88]

its not wrong it just means your going to end up alone for the rest of your life, with standards like that.

[lala-193]

all ou lives we hear about how men will only stay with us if we f*** them and as soon as we do they tell us they want a virgin...how is this fair

although if your a virgin too its differnt, but if youve had sex youn can't complain fi she has

also not being a virgin doesn't mean your whoring around, there is a big differnce between...having premarital sex doesn't mean you permiscuous.

also I'm a virgin but I don't believe in waiting for marriage it impractical, also I don't want o get married for another 10 years and that's way to long to wait

[bonfiredancer]

Whatever you want to say about women, you better be prepared to apply it to men, too!