Boyfriend very rough oral sex?

Question

Hi I'm new to all this but I remembered my friend said she used this site to get advice and it help her so her it go's. I honestly don't like giving my boyfriend oral sex but last week I gave in and told him yes it started out fine but all of a sudden he wraps his arms around my head and shoved it so far down my throat and it was like he was having sex with my throat I was on my knees and he was over me doing that I tried pulling away and hitting his legs but he didn't stop I could barely breathe mu nose was being pushed up against him and his penis was so fat down my throat I was throwing up and he kept going to make matters worse he finished straight down my throat which made me throw up more after he was done, we've been together for about 3 years and I do love him but that was way to much I felt so disgusting afterwards I let him know I was pissed and left haven't talked to him since but he's been calling and texting. what should I do?

EaterPeter · Accepted Answer

Take your time to calm down, talk over phone call not through text. It may take a while for you to like it and you may not like it at all. First experiences are deal makers or deal breakers. The part I guess most people worried about is the partner do not stop when you have enough or way more and that is what makes it worst experience plus values we fed over the time. It's like a learned response. Keep watching certain kind of porn make you like it. You may not like it as much when you do it finally. Here with you and him. He clearly aeemed to have lot of fun while you seemed suffering. He should have stopped. Now the worry is he have already done it with you. How you draw a boundary. Or have a safe word. Or not have such kind of sex at all. Is it possible?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

You need to have a clothes-on talk. He's mimicking a type of "facial abuse" type porn which has become more popular over the past several years. Here's the thing... that's super fucked-up to just "surprise" your girlfriend with. It's the equivalent of handcuffing her and pulling out a mask and whip... without talking to her about it first. That's really really messed up. Basically, it's 'degradation' porn. Which is fine. AS LONG AS IT"S CONSENTUAL. If not... that's reaaaaaaaaaaaaly messed up. Especially for a guy you've been with for 3 years.

It would be like him playing out a 'rape fantasy'. That's fine... AS LONG AS THE OTHER PERSON HAS AGREED to partake in... what otherwise... is just a rape. Same thing here. This is fucked.

Ninani · Accepted Answer

That is not okay no matter how long you've been together. He assaulted you, especially after you started signaling him to stop. Stuff like this is only okay with consent and even then you have the right to stop at any time. I'd reconsider that relationship as this is a major breach of trust.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I remember seeing a post just like this but from his perspective, he posted a picture of his girlfriend….
You consented to oral sex, but that does not mean he has the right to be rough with you. Im sorry about that 😞

Lliam · Answer

Never see or speak to him again. He's a monster. He raped you. No matter what he says, he doesn't give a shit about you. He's laughing about what he did to you. You're just someone to use.

SnakeBoop · Answer

Then TALK TO HIM. Duh?

MrHopper · Answer

Sounds like he has been watching too much porn, next time grab his head and force him between your legs and dont let him back up until you finish

Flower7 · Answer

Was this your first time giving oral sex to him? And yes, I can understand why you wouldn’t want to talk to him after that.

laura123iu · Answer

oh no, id run away too, he broke boundaries. that is abusive, i would break up w him tbh. id hate him

ohshee · Answer

Well he's not a very good boyfriend that's for sure and the moment you go back to him that's just going to tell him that it's okay to do what it's doing

all_hayl · Answer

Your boyfriend sounds quite selfish, and you sound like you lack self-respect.

ShadesOfAWoman · Answer

You need to talk to him about it. You should let him know that the blowjob isn’t enjoyable for you when he is being excessive. Create boundaries with him or come up with a safe word for when is rough

boggboss · Answer

So draw you lines and boundaries tell him that he broke your trust with what he dont and u are not happy about that for a relationship to work u need communication if u are not comftbke giving head dont especially if thats how he acts

Dargil · Answer

Set rules with him on hw to make it easier on you,

soccerchick4eva · Answer

He really needs to be able to sit down and talk to you. Being in a relationship needs that communication for sure, especially if there are issues you see.

JosyJosy · Answer

Just 'pulling away' won't be enough, not if you agreed on that being your 'signal' at least, you have to sit him down and actually Talk about it, that you don't like it. Talk Talk. Communicate.

bowenw · Answer

If you decide to see him again tell him never to do that again or it's over between you two. I would also ask him to explain what made him think it was okay to do that despite you obviously trying to stop him.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Sad most girls love that

Frank_theTank999 · Answer

He did a very bad job of reading the room and treating you like that. If that’s not something you’ve done a lot before, he should have been way more patient. It’s possible to reconcile but that’s a pretty significant violation in trust and grounds for dumping his ass.

Yourfriend2021 · Answer

It sounds extreme and you shouldn't be forced to do something you don't like, but maybe the relationship is ending.

TheFlak38 · Answer

So when will you run back to him with tears in your eyes asking to face fuck you again? That was nothing. When I did the same to mine I was pulling her hair, pinching her nose called her slut, whore, bitch. Girls love that.