Do you find insecurity or confidence to be more sexually arousing?

[mistixs]

To clarify, "confident" doesn't refer to arrogance.

[akihon]

Insecurities can be sexy, I know that's counterintuitive to say but they can be when a woman is feminine because if she's being insecure and honest about it and direct and telling a man that she is insecure and she needs him to hold her or show affection then it does, in my case at least, get me to drop my walls a bit and be more open with her and be more affectionate with her.

It changes when that insecurity runs her life such that even going to work causes her to melt down.

Confidence can also be very sexy, the confidence to be direct and to say what she wants in the bedroom say can be, the confidence to say that's what I'm going after and to go after it.

Where it stops being sexy is when it turns into a competition, she wants something but that means I have to stop wanting things myself, she's asking for something in the bedroom but I am not allowed to ask for anything myself. She wants something such that she's willing to sacrifice our relationship for that thing.

[AnonUser1902]

I appreciate the detail in your reply to that question

[Lliam]

Oddly enough, I prefer a combination of both. I love a woman who, outwardly, has impeccable posture and struts confidently, who can look someone in the eye, doesn't take shit, is willing to take risks, and who knows what she wants and has the moxie to go after it.

But that doesn't mean that she has to always feel as confident as she appears. She is still vulnerable and a bit insecure. I mean, is everyone a bit insecure at times?
She can let her guard down when she is with her man. She can admit to being scared, unsure or insecure at times. With him, she can melt into his arms, be tender and even a bit submissive and dependent. That doesn't mean that he gets to be her boss.

[lilyanony1]

My ex was intimidated and insecure when with me. He puts a lot of weight on being financially sound, now I'm a little better at juggling money. That's a big no no... Doesn't matter how kind caring or considerate I am of him he actively did things to cut me down, to make me feel like a piece of crap. Even now I'm at uni he basically put me under so much stress because he was angry and jealous that I was there, and achieving a/b grades. He's been causing problems to sabotage my future even though in my head this was for us. I'm done with him. And his trashy, jealous, insecure ass. He's got things he needs to work on before he can even consider dating anyone. I don't understand why he is so angry. Life's hard for everyone but made worse when you fight against someone trying to help you!

[Natalie14936]

It both has something confidence is good so he knows what he needs to do but insecurety is also fun becouse i like abit of surching around as he's trying to fuiger it all out

[alleng12345]

Confidence hands down, but @Almostoverit stated it 100% correctly. Psychology will show you who prefers co-dependent partners, and they are a majority of the time NOT who you want to be with.

People who are in a relationship to 'fix' the other person fail to realize you can't fix someone. You can support them, and you can help them by providing tools so they can access and receive the appropriate help to fix themselves...

[MorticiAddams]

Confidence. Confidence. Confidence!!!

[Almostoverit]

I think insecurity is only sexy to someone who enjoys someone being dependent on them. That smacks of controlling and manipulation and possibly co-dependence. Not sexy.

[Almostoverit]

Let me also add a caveat here. It's okay to have insecurities. Everyone has them, but expecting someone to cater to them is flirting with disaster.

[Moonchild714]

Only Confidence is Sexually Arousing. Insecurity is a Complete Turn-Off!!!

[sonu789]

Yes you are right 👍

[SarahsSummer]

Confidence 100%

[JackSmy]

Like her? The woman I may or may not approach, or interact with, because she is one way, or the other?
I find them both very arousing, depending on the individual PERSON. Some that are more assertive and maybe seem 'confident' (oh, no, volumes in Psychology about 'fake confidence'!) or the submissive ones, the seemingly insecure ones, that maybe have a very 'interesting' side, once trust is made.

[Sensmind]

A bit of both, I like insecurity but with the thought there is self confidence underneath if brought to the surface. I know what you are saying about not arrogance , a humble confidence is a big turn on for me

[Kurαȷ]

There is only one situation in which I would perceive insecurity appealing or at least not detrimental in some way, and it would be if someone who has *already* demonstrated their copious amounts of confidence to me was to express some insecurity in my presence because they are worried about being valued and validated by *me* specifically.
Someone who is demure and meek in their behavior towards anything and anyone would never appeal to me.

I like strong women, because I like being liked by strong people, it makes me feel special.
To intimidate someone who intimidates others is what I find sexually arousing.
Not necessarily someone arrogant, but someone who acknowledges that people and things come in order of importance and isn't afraid to express this.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

For me, it's confidence.
For her, it's my insecurity. It's like a shark who smelled blood in the water.

[R4vedave]

Confidence is a turn on. Insecurity is a turn off.

[metalhead_66]

I like confident woman who know exactly what they want and how to get it. I think it's sexy to see her take care of things by herself without always needing me to do stuff for her

[brigfrey25]

Insecurity gets annoying the more you see.

Confident is scary.

[nelly83]

insecurity is the least sexy thing in anyone. It can make the hottest guy look cheap. typically the handsomest guys that are the most insecure. You might not think its true but its real.

[MannMitAntworten]

Definitely confidence is vastly more attractive. Frankly it catches my attention. Insecurity is an unattractive pain in the ass.

[coolfreeusername]

It really depends. Any extreme can be quite overwhelming.

[Jamie05rhs]

Neither one has anything to do with sex.

[mistixs]

That doesn't mean they can't be sexually arousing, particularly for people who are sexually aroused by power dynamics

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, I guess none of that makes any difference to me.

[pocketman]

Exactly right, how a girl thinks of herself has nothing to do with sexually arousing me. How she thinks of me and interacts with me determines the sexual arousal.

[Jamie05rhs]

@pocketman Agreed.

[Jamie05rhs]

Obviously, confidence is sexy. But it's not sexually arousing; it just makes you appealing as a person because you draw people in through your charisma. Insecurity isn't "attractive" per se, but it can be a magnet for people who genuinely want to help (or, unfortunately, also for some who want to manipulate and abuse.)

[Dchrls78104]

Neither. Insecurity could turn into insane jealousy and violent confrontations and confidence could become cockiness, i disrespect, and insufferable. For me the ultimate turn on is the happy medium.

[crmoore]

Insecure girls are super cute and cuteness is the best.

[Quidthonian]

Insecurity, as this would allow me to gently dominate her. Once I notice that she is uncomfortable with a situation, I would release her from the game.

[crazy8000]

Attractive trait but arousing is questionable. on the other hand insecurity tends to be a turnoff in certain circumstances due to how they act. like not taking initiative (passive behavior) .
One of the biggest reason female's doesn't get what they want. mess thing's up with guy's.

The funny thing is that a lot of people can't tell the difference between real confidence and artificial since they are mostly exposed to artificial. also that it's fluent not constant 😉