Do you regret losing your virginity?

gib1233 Xper 5

Yes

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Most Helpful Guys

nightdrot Master
+1 y
Not at all. My first time sex was - against the odds - a great experience.

We had started dating in December of my junior year of high school. We really liked each other and I had known her for a while.

We would fool around and I saw her topless once, but generally when you are in high school, you don't get much privacy, so nothing really happened. She lived on a lake and that July 4th her family - as they did every year - threw a party.

There was a BBQ, volley ball, etc. By evening, you would take boats out to the middle of the lake and watch the fireworks. She took their family's boat and we went out just the two of us. (It was one of those big pontoon boats.)

After the fireworks, everyone else took their boats back to shore for a bonfire but we yelled out that we were going to stay out for a bit and stargaze. Well...

We started kissing, one thing led to another, she actually said "let's have sex" first - and when you are a 16 year old guy, that is waving the red flag in front of the bull. Done and done.

We were lucky. We had a ton of privacy and so, while we had heard that first time sex was generally not great, we were relaxed and, honestly, it was great.

For a week, I was sure of two things 1) I was a man!!! 2) She was the girl I was going to marry, have babies with, the house with the white picket fence, the works. Then, all of a sudden, it hit me. "What if I got her pregnant?"

All of a sudden I was imagining having to tell my parents and her's. I was seeing college go down the drain. It stressed our relationship and she was worrying and every other day I was, "Have you had your period, yet?" She got really tired of that question!!

We got lucky and beat the odds. She was not pregnant. We actually continued to date - and have sex (with condoms) - till the middle of my sophomore year in college and we went to each other's senior prom, homecoming, all that high school and college stuff.

In retrospect, I look back on it fondly. However, for a while there, the stress was off the charts. That was one hell of a few weeks.

Since then, though, sex has allowed me to feel more intimate with another human being - my girlfriend - then I ever thought I could. I need that closeness not only because it satisfies my most primal urges but for the emotional balance it gives me.

Frankly, losing my virginity opened up a whole aspect of my life that I did not expect. Losing it was - and remains - amazing.
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jay139 Xper 2
+1 y
I enjoyed losing it, but the actual experience was awkward as hell. I wish I waited and did it with someone I had a loving relationship with rather than the girl I did it with.

However, I do not wish to be a virgin because I very much enjoy sex.
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Most Helpful Girls

Anonymous
+1 y
No regrets, I shared my first time with someone I love. I knew it was going to be anticlimatic and potentially uncomfortable, sharing it with someone who cared about me and loved me was really special.
Don't expect your first time to be like the movies, it might hurt and you might bleed or you might not (just a note if you do feel these things subsequently after your first time. It's worth having a chat to your doctor). You're not going to be amazing at anything the first time, but that is what the second, third and so on times are for. :)
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- littlem946
  +1 y
  May I ask how old you were at the time?
- allyt90
  +1 y
  @littlem946 did you bleed? How much so? How would you rate the pain on a scale of 1-10? I’m terrified
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @littlem946 I was 21
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- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @allyt90 I didn't bleed. I had a bit of pain because I have previously suffered from Vaginismus, the reason I got this pain is that the muscles which surround the vagina were involuntarily contracted. Basically it hurt similar to when you do a something like a hamstring stretch, its just a bit different since its not a muscle you're used to stretching. I had to talk to my partner about this and he did the best job of making me feel comfortable through the whole experience. If you are nervous, definitely talk to your partner so that you can talk about potential plans etc. But if you need to talk about this further feel free to DM me :)
- allyt90
  +1 y
  So how would you rate the pain your first time? What exactly is vaginisum? Is it common
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @allyt90 I rate my pain maybe a 2 or 3 out of 10. wasn't painful I promise. As far as I am aware vaginismus isn't super common, but its likely to be under reported since people are embarrassed to seek treatment for it. Vaginismus is basically where the muscles around your vagina contract involuntarily (ie without your control) so when you try putting something in there like a tampon penis etc it is difficult and painful since the muscles around the vagina are contracted and have in essence closed it, so nothing is able to get through. I first found about it when I couldnt put a tampon in, after having no joy for several years I went to the GP to get help.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Oh ok. I doubt I have that. It just kinda hurt when he fingered me. I’m scared I’ll disappoint him.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  He did mention this build up creates pressure. And i agree any tips?
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @allyt90 Yeah look definitely the build up and expectations create this pressure. With this pressure you’re more likely to tense up and as a result your muscles (including vaginal ones) also tense up which may be the reason why fingering is painful. The best tips I can give you is to talk about your anxieties with your partner, that really helped me as to discuss both of our expectations so we don’t disappoint each other. Also in the moment try to relax as much as possible and enjoy it. That will help it hurt less I promise.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  But won’t it turn him off if he talk about while we’re both naked and he’s about to go inside of me? It’s his birthday this weekend so I kinda wanted to sleep with him tbh
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @allyt90 definitely recommend having this conversation before things start heating up like a day or 2 before you would plan do it. It’s important to know both of your expectations, methods of contraception etc. it makes the first time run much smoother and there won’t be anything on your mind so you can just enjoy the experience
katiesmuff Master
+1 y
I didn't regret losing it when I did. Was really young, I wanted this guy to fuck me, he did and it was fine. Now that I am much older I can see how foolish I was back then and if there was a starting over knowing what I now know I'm sure I would have waited a few years.
0 2 0 0
- gib1233
  +1 y
  What you know now you didn't before?
- katiesmuff
  +1 y
  That as a 13 year old there were many other things I should have been doing instead of playing with a 19 year old penis.
- littlem946
  +1 y
  After your first time, did you wait a few years to have sex again?
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- katiesmuff
  +1 y
  @littlem946 No I continued fucking this guy (he was my best friends older brother and a neighbor) for quite awhile before I began fucking guys from school
- littlem946
  +1 y
  Gotcha thanks for sharing

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What Girls & Guys Said

26 33

SmartGirl92 Xper 5
+1 y
I more so regret who I gave it to, because they ended up treating me horribly. I even married them, just to divorce them later.

So I did the whole wait till marriage & when you really love someone. I got hurt anyway.

So my advice is to do with your body whatever you damn well please & don’t let anyone shame you for that. You can wait as long as you want or give it up to some random person. Your body, your choice! Just remember to be safe, sane, & consensual!
0 1 0 0
- allyt90
  +1 y
  How painful is the first time on a scale of 1-10? Do you bleed? I’m terrified. Do you have any tips
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  There was actually a recent study done which confirmed that pain & bleeding happens when the hymen tears. I know, duh! But a lot of times, a hymen has the possibility to stretch without tearing at all. So the recent study was leaning more towards the theory that if a woman is properly aroused & such, there’s less chance of any pain happening. The whole “cherry popping” idea is seriously outdated. Because even if your hymen were to tear, it can heal. You’re not broken after sex.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Did you bleed? So you’re saying my first time can be somewhat enjoyable?
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- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  There’s always going to be a chance of awkwardness & discomfort. I didn’t really bleed, but it did hurt a bit. Not a lot, but I was very dry downstairs also. He didn’t grease my wheels before taking me for a ride. Lubrication & being completely aroused is important. The more aroused a woman is during intimacy, the more likely her vagina will stretch on its own. It’s the way a woman’s body naturally opens up & readies itself for intercourse. The same thing as when we “get wet”, that’s our body’s natural lube.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  How would you rate the pain on a scale of 1-10? How do I know if it’s pain vs just discomfort and new territory
- allyt90
  +1 y
  So make sure he puts lots of lube?
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  Your body should lubricate itself naturally the more you’re aroused. You can use store bought lube, but be careful. Some can mess with your PH levels & cause a rash.
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  The pain was about a 3 & the discomfort a level 7.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Yes the idea I guess is to be naturally lubricated but just put some of him just in case. Would playing with a dildo help make my first time less uncomfortable?
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  Oh yeah, for sure. Pre-ejaculation from men wouldn’t be enough, usually it’s just a few drops. Which you still can get pregnant from just that teeny amount too, use protection. It’s a low risk, but still a risk. Better safe than sorry. It’s really beneficial to masturbate. Not only to learn about your body & what you like. But it’s scientifically proven to be a great stress reliever & mood lifter.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  I do masturbate on my own but that’s just touching my clit or when he touches my clit and comes down on me
- allyt90
  +1 y
  I just don’t know how to come down about sex
- allyt90
  +1 y
  And the fear of my first time hurting so bad
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  It really doesn’t hurt as bad as myths make it seem. Just don’t rush into anything & do what feels good for both of y’all.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Is there a such thing like it won’t fit? I’m scared he’ll lose interest if we don’t have sex soon
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  If he loses interest, then he’s not even worth it. Even if it’s just a fling, you still should respect the person you’re having sex with. They’re a human being & deserve to be taken care of as you would take care of yourself. I’ve never heard of anyone claiming a penis couldn’t fit inside them. Unless they were clearly unprepared & clinching out of discomfort while attempting intercourse. Yeah, your vagina can clench when you feel uncomfortable. Listen to your gut & intuition when it comes to allowing others to enjoy your body. If you want to wait, say so. If you want to take things slow, say so. If you want to stop midway through, say so. Only an abusive asshole will pressure you into anything. That goes for everyone! I know plenty of greedy girls who force their boyfriends to do things too.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Hey thanks for your advice. How do I stop from clinching? That’s my main concern. I won’t be able to handle the pain.
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  Clinching really only happens if you’re uncomfortable with the situation. Which if you are uncomfortable, you should either take a break or stop having sex altogether. Try again another time. You’ll know when you feel comfortable with someone. You just won’t feel anxious at all nor have a million questions running through your head.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Hey so it didn’t happen last weekend. I wanted to have the exclusive talk first and we did, he tried for sex but I said no last weekend. I didn’t think it felt right for him to say ya let’s be exclusive and then I give it up right away. It will likely happen next weekend as long as the vibe doesn’t change this week. I’m still nervous as hell tho
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  You can postpone it as long as you want to. But know it’s totally normal to feel nervous during your first time.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  I’m scared cause now we’re in a relationship he will be expecting sex. He’s been waiting for a while. He even said sex is a big part of a relationship. I’m scared I’ll be lousy in bed. The only calm thought I have tbh is everyone in the world has sex so I’m sure I could handle the pain lol. I mean this isn’t surgery or even child labor lol
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  It’s only important if that’s something you or your partner prioritizes. Again, don’t do anything if you’re feeling forced into it. Or just to please him, because you feel guilty.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Would He dump me for being bad in game?
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  Not all men only care about sex. If he does break up with you, because you’re not ready for sex, then good riddance! He’s not even worth it if he tries to force you into anything & guilt-trip you.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Can I get your opinion on something else?
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  Sure 🙂
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Met on bumble. We have been dating for almost 2 months (some ups and downs) and we finally had the exclusive talk this past Saturday initiated by me. He told me he hasn’t been seeing anyone else and I said I hadn’t either. He had some past cheating when he was younger so we did talk about that. Anyways it’s Wednesday now. I notice he has been on bumble today and on Monday which worries me. I don’t know how to bring it up. The only reason I know is on bumble you can tell if someone has been active within the last 4 hours (active could mean anything from going on for a just minute, accidentally opening it, to being on it for a full fledged conversation for a few hours). I can’t be like I’ve been stalking you on bumble cause technically I’ve been on the app too (even though it’s just been to check on him) but how do I say like let’s delete the app. I need this to be settled before I have sex with him.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  How do I bring this up?
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  Just be really honest about how it makes you feel. I wouldn’t lie about having the app yourself either. Tell him you noticed he never deleted his first & so you kept yours to legit see if your suspicions were correct. It’s definitely weird for him to still use a dating app. I had bumble when I was single & mingling. It is not useful for making platonic friendships with others. So that’s not a good enough excuse if he tries to say he uses it to make friends. My partner immediately deleted the dating apps & so did I the moment we really liked each other. Because there was no point in keeping options open. We were set on getting to know each other better.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Do you think it’s a possibility he’s checking up on me?
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  Not by how he seems to obsess about y’all not having sex yet. Especially now knowing you’ve only been together for two months, that’s not long at all. So it makes it seem like he is the type of guy who only cares about his penis problems & if that’s not getting enough attention.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  He is getting Restless for sex now and it’s his bday coming up the weekend. I was thinking about sleeping with him this weekend if he’s normal to me this week. What r ur thoughts
- allyt90
  +1 y
  He says 2 months is a long time lol
- SmartGirl92
  +1 y
  My thoughts are that it’s sweet you want to make his birthday special & memorable. But again, two months isn’t “too long” to not have had sex together. Some couples wait for a whole year. Some wait till marriage, it’s all about both of your comfort zones. If you’re just having sex for his benefit, then it’s a rushed decision.
DizzyDesii Editor
+1 y
Everyday. Thats why I've been celibate 8 years since
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- BigProblem
  +1 y
  i would like to ask you few more questions and your comments but PM would be better.. Could you pls PM me bcs i can't due to my xper yet
- gib1233
  +1 y
  Why you regret it?
- DizzyDesii
  +1 y
  #1 i always wanted to wair til marriage #2 he constantly pressured me #3 i eventually gave in like an idiot assuming it would help to stop him from continously cheating #4 he didn't stop cheating and even supposedly got my best friend pregnant
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- gib1233
  +1 y
  Wow... what a jerk... sry about that
- DizzyDesii
  +1 y
  Yea :(
ZanyInternetName Yoda
+1 y
No. I literally cannot imagine a reason to regret that.
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HOAAH Guru
+1 y
NO I do not, because he married me.
0 2 0 0
Robbie469 Xper 4
+1 y
Yes, I lost it to my husband, he was the wrong guy.
1 3 0 0
spartan55 Master
+1 y
There is very little I regret doing 30 years ago.
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Jon_25 Xper 6
+1 y
Yes cause of how.
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sir_geddes Xper 5
+1 y
I was 11 and it was with a girl who says that she's straight and pretends that nothing ever happened so I regret it more than her
0 0 0 0
Pamina Guru
+1 y
No, I don't see why I should.
0 2 1 0
Cammy137 Guru
+1 y
Not remotely
0 0 0 0
zaza111 Xper 5
+1 y
Yes, I wish the circumstances were different, with a different guy...
1 2 0 0
- gib1233
  +1 y
  Why?
- zaza111
  +1 y
  I was 15, I din't want it, he forced me to do it, I wasn't in love with guy...
- littlem946
  +1 y
  I'm sorry :(
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- DizzyDesii
  +1 y
  I wasn't forced but i was 15 and constantly pressured daily until i gave in :(
slatyb Master
+1 y
I regret not losing it sooner.
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quoter Xper 5
+1 y
If I'm sure about my partners loyalty, no
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ImagineSketchy Yoda
+1 y
Honestly no. I really don't even remember my first time. It wasn't that big a deal for me to lose it, but I was a bit suicidal then and I just wanted to knock it off of my bucket list at the time.
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Psydchick Xper 4
+1 y
I don't regret it at all, it gave me courage to explore myself and learn so much sexually.
0 2 0 0
- allyt90
  +1 y
  How much did your first time hurt in terms of pain on a scale of 1-10? Did you bleed?
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  I actually lost my virginity to someone who kept at it for 4 hrs. I lost my virginity around age 18 and it didn't actually hurt that much. Like a 1with very minor bleeding.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  How much bleeding are we talking like just a table spoon? Do you only notice once you wipe off? I’m honestly terrified I won’t be able to handle the pain. Is it more like just the first minute stings then you get used it? What if his dick doesn’t fit
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- Psydchick
  +1 y
  This is really different for every woman. Women who are more atheletic might have worn down their hymen a lot more. For me it was more like a dribble, it wasn't terrible. The first time you have sex isn't supposed to be a crazy event, it'd a lot of patience and careful maneuvering. If you're in pain, your partner needs to listen. If it takes you 20 min to feel better, a day, 3 days, you make him wait until you're ready to try again.
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  Ahh my grammar. It hurts.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Will I enjoy my first time
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  I hope you will and I hope its emotionally fulfilling. It's up to you and how you feel about the person who you're giving your virginity to.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  I’m still terrified I need to calm down
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Do you think I’m making it out to be more painful then it actually is
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  I don't know your body, but at your age, you're likely to find a man that's experienced and will probably treat you right. It's not going to be awful, but every woman is different so I can't honestly say yes or no. However, be relaxed! Sex is always so much better if you are comfortable.
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  If it hurts just tell him to stop and wait a while before moving, take deep breaths, rest. If its bad, just call it off and cuddle. In a caring situation, you have nothing to fear. Just do your best to be with someone you trust.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  Hey thanks! I’m just confused how I know if it’s just uncomfortable because it’s new territory or it actually hurts. Should I play with a dildo to get more familiar? I think it may happen this coming weekend
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  If you are comfortable using a dildo already, I doubt you're going to actually feel pain from the experience. If its hurting from the pounding sensation and its hitting the end of your vaginal canal, tell him to stop. If you're too tight, lube and foreplay are best. The most important thing is to be relaxed and to take it slow.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  I haven’t used a dildo yet lol I have one. Or I can tell him I’m sensitive so to be gentle at first? What if his penis doesn’t fit?
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  Take it sloooooooow. Do lots of foreplay, get hot and steamy. Your vagina actually can take more penis the more turned on you are. A vagina is very very flexible, you shouldn't have issues unless he's hyper well endowed. You should totally tell him you're sensitive!
- allyt90
  +1 y
  He’s average size I’d say. I plan on telling him I’m tight and sensitive so take it slow. I’m not telling him I’m a virgin. Do I have to play with a dildo beforehand to prepare? We’ve done lots of foreplay so that shouldn’t be an issue. Do guys like foreplay
- Psydchick
  +1 y
  If you want to you can play with the dildo, just be aware it'll likely break your hymen and could hurt. Foreplay is great, and yes guys typically like foreplay.
- allyt90
  +1 y
  But won’t it hurt if he breaks my hymen?
- allyt90
  +1 y
  I don’t know what to do
dwiller943 Yoda
+1 y
Basically...
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kaskas19 Yoda
+1 y
Sorta
0 1 1 0
- gib1233
  +1 y
  Why?
- kaskas19
  +1 y
  Was with a shitty guy and it was just a shitty experience in general.
- littlem946
  +1 y
  That sucks. How old were you at the time?
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- kaskas19
  +1 y
  Fifteen
jacquesvol Master
+1 y
I lost it to the wrong person but I don't regret losing it.
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Ayer93 Yoda
+1 y
Nope because I haven't lost it aha.
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Dzokson00 Xper 6
+1 y
il probably never be able to answer this quedtion

goodbye
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