Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
We here in the states are quite prudish in my opinion, myself included.
Men don't realize how easy it is to get a "whore" label.
It can after people find out you masturbate, after you reject a guy, if you have big boobs and wear a tight shirt, wearing a bikini, sending nudes to your husband, homemade porn, even breastfeeding, and even for being a victim of rape.
Oh, and also being promiscuous of course.
Here's a story of a mother being harassed for breastfeeding. The man told her to go somewhere else and even called her a whore.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/06/16/new-mom-verbally-attacked-breastfeeding-public-target-connecticut/85972164/
Here's a story of a 15yr old girl who's "friend" took a pic of her without her consent and uploaded it on Snapchat. The girl was harassed and called names and she ended up killing herself:
https://wgntv.com/2016/06/10/girl-15-commits-suicide-after-nude-snapchat-video-leak/
I never understood why men slut shame women. I'm not saying women don't, we do. But it's usually out of competition or jealousy. This does not make it right or acceptable by any means though.
But don't men benefit from promiscuous women? On this site alone, so many guys throw fits that they can't get girls. Some even saying that all they want is sex but women make them jump through hoops. Why call her a slut then for enjoying the same act you wanted, with you? Don't you also enjoy seeing a woman's silhouette in her tight dress or whatever? Why discourage it by calling her a slut or saying "she asked for it"?
I'm not saying men don't get slut shamed (and no, player/fuckboy shaming IS NOT the same thing), and I'm not saying it's good to encourage men to be shamed. But this affects women a lot more.
Anyways, do you think slut shaming benefits or harms society overall?
What Girls & Guys Said
35 76I think sluts are awesome and I wish there were more of them.
I wish sluthood (enjoying sex wholeheartedly and frequently) was seen as the badge of honor it should be.
There is no shame infringing pleasure to others and yourself. Religion twists one of the best parts of life and turns it dark. Screw that.
its not a badge. youe a dumb troll.. there's plenty of sluts now a days.. and they dont want you
@Antimillennial Pretty sure saying you like something isn't considered trolling.
It's good for society. However, I can't think of anything right off hand that I'd like to see more than this sick society crash and burn, so leave the whores alone and let them continue to 'have their fun'.
Even the breastfeeding mother who was called a whore? Or the 15yr old girl who had her pics uploaded to the web and killed herself because of the harassment?
The breastfeeding thing is tricky. It would be... difficult... to have an enforce a standard that says "Fat and/or ugly women need to put that away, no one wants to see it". I'd think anyone with a shred of decency would want to cover up anyway. Almost all women I've seen do that in public have covered up. Killing yourself over a picture is extreme and stupid. The pic shouldn't have been uploaded if it was indecenct (kiddie porn laws cover this kind of thing) but its not worth suiciding over. These are two extreme, exceptional examples, and don't really fit as slit shaming.
*slut shaming FUCKING autocorrect
A whore sells her body on the streets. So a breastfeeding mom showing her breasts on the street (restaurant, etc, public place) was called a whore. That 's what whores did to get customers. Showed their bodies publicly.
@19blondie76 you're very unpleasant. Babies heads cover most of the boob. You need to relax. I thought blondes have more fun lmao
So 'fun' means a 'slut'? You are warped. Need psych help. Stop watching online porn for starters. Creepy!
@19blondie76 pornhub. com Titties, pussy, ass, anal, oral, coitus, clitoris
men don't normally slut shame, unless they are ultra conservative or whatever, and even then they tend to define 'slut' as "a girl who seems to be sleeping with someone that isn't me." There are the rare few guys who genuinely don't want sex and don't think anyone else should have it either, but these are so rare you can usually assume that if you found one, he's lying. You generally must be interested in having sex if you are concerned about other people having sex. Otherwise, the idea doesn't easily enter into your brain. Like, if you don't like onions, you wouldn't sit around seething over the idea that there are people out there enjoying onions, possibly right now.
To that end, slut shaming is how men cope with not getting laid. You could say its critical to their self-confidence that they allow themselves to believe that the lack of panties on their floor has nothing to do with their lack of sex appeal. Thus, you could argue that it is 'good' for society as it allows men to retain their self confidence, but you could also argue that it is 'bad' for society, as the basis for that self-confidence is a lie (that they have sex appeal).
Anyway, in my experience it tends to be women who do the most slut shaming. Women aren't allowed to behave or dress like they like sex, because that's what men want. All girls know that sex is what men want (or at least learn it real quick). But most women want to be wanted for their personality or something. And if some girl just walks around being obvious about the fact that she likes sex, that will get the attention of all the men, thus making "the game" more difficult for the rest of the women. Again, you could argue that slut shaming is 'good' because it enforces the rules of the game, but you could also argue that slut shaming is 'bad' because the game is outdated, archaic, tribalistic, and in a modern civilized society the rules of that game are in need of revision to get with the times.
It was a man who called the breastfeeding mom a whore, while a woman who stood up for her. Look at this poll, it's mostly men who are for slut shaming. Even the comments it's mostly men.
yeah, this sort of question doesn't attract the "usual" sort of men, though...
I don't think it serves any good. Why are we making people think that they have to be ashamed of their sexuality? What does that serve? And then we want them to have a bunch of kids - how are they going to do that if they're ashamed to have sex? I don't get it.
I also don't get why we encourage men to be promiscuous but not women. Pretty sure those dudes aren't all having sex with other men. So it's okay for men to have sex, but not women, but it's also not okay for people to be gay? Make up your goddamn minds, corn cobs.
Shame is a good thing. Far too little of it going on today. It can correct bad behavior and deter it from happening in the future. That is a GOOD thing! Slutty behavior is risky behavior. Causes problems. Health and relationship. SHAME noun: shame 1. a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
@19blondie76 there are multiple studies that show the opposite.
Shaming is never good, but if you're a slut, own it. Accept it. No one forced you to be a slut. If your actions fall under the definition of slut, then deal with it.
If I'm an asshole, I gotta deal with people calling me an asshole. It is what it is.
Breastfeeding and having your pics uploaded are slutty things though?
Nope. Never said that. I said "If your actions fall under the definition of slut". Breastfeeding or the other thing doesn't fall under the definition of slut. I've always supported public breastfeeding.
But that's the thing. Everyone has their own definitions of what is a slut. It's so easy (no pun intended) for a woman to be labeled a slut even if she had never had a boyfriend. I was labeled a slut temporarily when I was like 13, 14. I did not even hug, kiss, nor had my first boyfriend until I was 19.
But there's a real definition for slut. A dictionary definition. Problem is that many people use the word slut for everything. They use it the wrong way. Just because some people have a different definition, doesn't mean is right. A chair is still gonna be a chair no matter if you call it a table.
Yes, but look at even these responses. Many are making up their own definitions of what a slut is. Wearing provocative clothes? I saw a question where the woman wants more sex than what her man provides, they've been together for about 9yrs, and a guy said "lol sloots gonna sloot". Like really? Having sex with your partner for 9yrs but being worried about the declining frequency is slutty? :/
That's why I clearly stated that if she acts like tbe definition of slut describes, then she's a slut. Anything else doesn't apply. I know people make their own definitions, but that doesn't mean they're right. I wouldn't take too seriously those who say "sloots gone sloot", by the way, they tend to be just trolling.
I get what you're saying but i think most people just make up their own definitions and others just accept it. As for sloots gonna sloot, sure. But there are definitely people who think a woman wanting more sex (from her man or not) are actually sluts or slutty.
I know that, but it happens with everything. If they're wrong either correct them or just ignore them. I don't really know why some people get so affected by being called a slut when they aren't. I've been called every bad word in the dictionary and here I am. If you're not a slut and someone calls you a slut, then fuck it, ignore them.
It's easier to ignore it as a man because men seem to value virginity and chastity a lot more.
No. It's easier to ignore it if you realize that stranger's opinions about you don't affect your life. Girls don't like sluts/fuckboys/manwhores either, but that doesn't stop many guys from screwing around.
A fuckboy isn't the same as a slut though. And as a user stated here before "virginity doesn't exist. You don't take a woman's virginity. You take away her reputation of being a virgin."
Fuckboy doesn't really have a dictionary definition, so I can understand seeing different people having different definitions for it, but I've mostly heard it used to define a man that sleeps with many women, so technically just like a slut. Hell, I've even been called a fuckboy, and I don't consider my number to be that high. I agree with what you said about virginity, it's simply a word to describe a person that hasn't had sex, it's not really something you take.
See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. People just use the wrong definitions for everything.
Yeah, but fuckboy isn't recognized by the "whoever" makes the dictionary and "controls" the language. It's a slang term created on the streets, therefore it's gonna have different meanings. But slut IS an "official" word, it appears in the dictionaries, therefore the only acceptable definition/s are those in the dictionary.
Slut was also slang. It didn't even originate as promiscuous, it was dirty the original meaning. Give it time and fuckboy will be added, just as swag and fleek and twerk were added.
But until, it doesn't have an official definition.
as for the provocative clothing thing ONLY A MAN KNOWS (this vid is perfect example of women thinking they know when a man is trying to tell them). Listen to the male radio hosts that are speaking compared by the female one who is trying to act like she knows
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_QVFX3LS0Q
"because men seem to value virginity and chastity a lot more. " are you kidding me. I mean on this site the more radical American (you said the states) ones are the females. The men are usually very religious and you probably wouldn't date them if you are supporting anything with a woman having sex before marriage (ME). In real life women care way more. The guys i know dnt care
If someone is trying to screw your so than they should be shamed. However shaming for partner count, breastfeeding, etc is stupid and shouldn't be done.
I am a slut, I will only date slots, I have only dated slots, and I would only marry a slut.
Having lots of sexual partners both increases one's chances to catch an STD and the number of those whom one can give it too after, and we have reached the point where the CDC reported 36% of women now have genital herpes (which causes cancer) and many STDs are becoming resistant or even immune to treatment (including AIDS). Further, condoms are only realistically about 83% effective, and most "sluts" don't use them. Every choice has consequences.
The guys who hate on "promiscuous females" are the ones who demand exclusive ownership of their exclusive sex slave oh sorry I mean girlfriend. The ones who want to be their first and last love and stuff. The ones who throw a sissy fit if the girl has had sex with someone else before.
are you against relationships?
@hazoplmeught No, I see no issue with commitment. I however do have a bit of a nitpick with relationships that people jump into just for the sake of being in a relationship. I'm specifically talking about the guys who don't give a damn about who's willing to get laid with them, as long as that girl hasn't had sex with anyone else, and will be forever dependent on his attention so that he'll feel validated. The ones who believe that females and males can never be friends, because the ONLY relation possible between males and females is sex.
I happened to have known of a man who will not make commitment but demands "his girl" (sexual-only partner) to be forever with him (for sex), and will put an equal sign between her and prostitutes if she was to have a boyfriend and to live her own life. The girl said he was her first sexual partner and he did restrain her with ownership (and possibly close friendship which she needed). He can't commit anyway, why slut shame her when she wasn't? And I knew the girl always behaved, and she opposed casual sex, so she wasn't even a slut.
In regards to the image. Sexy and slutty are two very different things
You can be sexy without being slutty (looking or behaving)
Many people actually view anything sexy as slutty. So no, sexy and slutty aren't two very different things. To many people, they're almost interchangeable terms. Considering how subjective it is, to one person a skirt that's slightly above the knee is considered sexy. To someone else, it can be seen as downright slutty. It's a double-edged sword, a very thin line.
@lumos its called perception. ms try hard
@Antimillennial yes indeed, thank you for proving my point.
@lumos wrong.. . there is no thin line, double edge-sword.. only for people that can't understand it
@Antimillennial and plenty of people don't understand it, soooo...
He sounds like a loose cannon. Security on call please.
It is good when it is done in an edifying manner that produces chastity or at least more responsible behavior. But it is bad when it drives people to despair and suicide, and/or becomes misapplied even to innocent people.
So you start the article saying that this is about men and women, but then the whole article you only talk about slut shaming towards women. Fucking typical.
And after that you're even only concerned about slut shaming when a man does it, and just brush it off under the carpet when a woman does it. If all you wanna talk about is how it affects women and how you only care about why/when men are doing it then just fucking say so and don't pretend you actually care about how it affects both sexes.
Let me make one thing clear first, the main reason slut shaming exists is not jealousy, competition or why you think men do it. It's because of the way our society sees promiscuity. It still is the standard to settle down and have a family. And when you're more interested in having casual sex that goes against the norm and that's why it's shamed. There have been and still are societies where casual sex has been widely accepted and is not as shamed upon as many other countries.
Also you make the false assumption that the men who like casual sex shame women for enjoying the same thing. Most men who slut shame are usually against casual sex themselves.
And another large reason for slut shaming is that I think that for almost every single person there comes a number where they think the amount of sexual partners is too much. Like would you want to date someone who had had sex with over 100 people? Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn't. The point is that the number changes from person to person. Some people are extreme enough that they won't date anyone who's not a virgin, but even if you think you are open minded there most likely is still some limit that you think is just too much.
STDs kill, and sluts both have high chances of catching them and more people to share them with after. They are the plague rats of the modern age. Shame is on them whether we are too scared or stupid to admit it publicly or not.
Slut shaming is never a good thing. Men and women alike have the right to control who they have sex with and when. No one has the right to dictate what is and isn't acceptable sexual behavior unless it's illegal (non consensual, bestiality, etc.).
it's a terrible thing. people should be free to make their own choices in life
Let's be real.
Stopping slut shaming completely is bad, making slutty behavior normal is NOT a good thing and will be the downfall of organized society as we know it.
However the definition of "slutty" is what matters.
I consider a slut to be someone who breaks relationship commitments (either by her cheating or being a known accessory of cheating), or is immoral in her pursuit or in the action of sex or the aftermath of sex (lying about the baby's father, having sex with an ex's dad or best friend to hurt the ex's feelings, etc.)
Why only "her"?
I referred to women because the term slut shaming is used to describe women. The above behavior in men is just as destructive.
There is no such thing as a home wrecker. There are only cheaters. The girl is not responsible for maintaining someone else's relationship. If the guy is stupid enough to ruin his relationship, it's not HER fault. Same thing with roles reversed.
@JuicyBrain *applause* Yes, say it again for those in the back. Of course this doesn't mean that it's "ok" to sleep with a taken person. But the real "homewrecker" is the one who walked out of his/her relationship.
Mmm, but soliciting nudes from underage girls is totally kosher?
so she gets no blame for having sex with a man she know is married? I mean wow! I mean if a girl is teasing a man for a while and at some point he starts fighting with his girl and it gets thin. A weak man may cheat (some men are serial cheaters, that is separate) by the way i think (unrelated) @juicybrain is gay and be trying act straight on some post.
Maybe if you had the correct definition of the word then you wouldn't be talking about two completely separate topics. This is the definition of 'Slut' in the dictionary- Slut 1. A woman who has many casual sexual partners. Not a cheater or 'Home wrecker'. Just a derogatory term for a person who has a high amount of sexual partners. And the way see it, if no ones getting hurt and it's consensual than have as much sex as you want.
@Deadpool7699 you know what your kinda right. But slut shaming has to do with most (some are very discreet) "sluts" tendencies. Sluts do things so that THEY CAN GET WHO THEY WANT. Exhibit A: The famous AMBER ROSE- she said women need to learn how to seduce men to get what they want in an article titled how to become a millionaire
time.com/4104701/amber-rose-financial-advice/
@hazoplmeught That is also true, the term slut really varies depending on who you talk to, and it's the same with feminism, feminism IS about equality, but when people start making up there own meanings, the original purpose gets lost. I do agree that people that more or less fuck there way to the top, or cheat, or sleep with married individuals should be shamed, but simply sleeping with a large number of men and/ or women is harmless really
@Deadpool7699 "sleeping with a large number of men and/ or women is harmless really " i agree but some boundaries how to be set as in sleeping with married men. And also slut shaming is basically slut identifying. There are some things women wear to get dick (ive heard women use the phrase trying to get dick by doing...).
@hazoplmeught yes, definitive, as long as the person is only sleeping with single people then it's perfectly find, those people don't deserve to be shamed, and personally i don't care what a girl wears, it's her body and her life she should be able to wear what she wants, and aslong as the dude she's after is single, what's the harm in her dressing sexy to get an advantageon the guy saying yes
@Deadpool7699 i agree
@hazoplmeught awesome. I'm actually reaally happy that I could actually debate with someone on here. some people are so sensitive that as soon as you disagree with their opinion they start going "NO fuck you!" it's pathetic XD
@hazoplmeught Lol you really made me smile here. If you were trying to make me mad, it didn't work at all. If you want to know if I am gay, you will have to wait until you are caught with me in an elevator. Wink wink!
@hazoplmeught How is it her fault if he is the one who goes to her? It's not her problem to manage. It's his. It's the same thing for the opposite genders by the way
@JuicyBrain The elevator thing made me laugh so hard XD
I do agree that it's not good to justify sluts, but which term is usually female-specific, so I think that there should also be a term for males who have casual sexual encounters and/or who are not willing to and capable of commitment. Some guys just want sex and can't give anything more than treating females as sex objects, but justify that they consider those females as human beings. Then those males will criticize their sexual partners for being jealous if the males mess with multiple females. I think that having no term/slang for male "sluts" doesn't display gender equality.
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What Guys Said5
MHO%
Bandit74 Bandit74
Guru Age: 23 mho 16%
6sec
For starters, sluts actually have high standards. They are easy to get in that they don't require a lot of investment from the guy before they have sex with him, BUT they are only easy to get for certain guys. For casual sex, girls often have HIGHER standards on things like charm, social skills, and physical attractiveness. So its not like every guy gets laid with the sluts. The guys who slut shame with the most passion are often the guys who the sluts are NOT sleeping with.
The guys who do sleep with sluts may casually shame them or avoid commiting to them but they generally don't harass them as agressively as the other guys do.
Like if Sally blows Johnny in the school parking lot, it won't be Johnny who is aggressively shaming her. He might ditch her the next day but its the guys who didn't get blown in the parking lot by Sally who will insult her the most.
Another explanation for aggressive slut shaming is the guys who morally believe casual sex is wrong and become angered when other people dont abide to their beliefs. The more sluts there are, the less likely it is for them to find a girl who fits their moral criteria.
Is it good for society?
Eh I don't know. I dont think promiscuity is good for the long-term stability of society but Im not sure slut shaming really prevents girls from sleeping around.
Even with slut shaming, most of the girls who want to sleep around already do and they do it so unapologetically. The girls who dont want to, don't
5 3 What Guys Said5 MHO% Bandit74 Bandit74 Guru Age: 23 mho 16% 6sec Why did you add that? Lol
I accidentally posted my response to your question on someone else's question so I had to paste it over here...
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2027908-should-women-have-to-meet-the-same-physical-requirements-as-men-to
Men can't be slut shamed.
Bullshit. The term is cad.
You shouldn't shame anyone however you also should not put up with bad or inappropriate behavior either.
I don't think saying it's wrong to sleep around is bad, I think it's positive
What about the breastfeeding mother who was called a whore? Or the 15yr old girl who had her pics uploaded to the web and killed herself?
I'd never say a breastfeeding mother is doing anything wrong, nor the kid (other than the choice to kill herself)
Breastfeeding mother was acting a whore as whores/prostitutes show their bodies to get customers.
@19blondie76 not the same