Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Guys, would you prefer to know I was raped before marrying me?
Anonymous
Please be honest. I won’t judge. And if you do is there a reason why? Would you be mad finding out that I hid it after getting married? I honestly can’t hide it because I feel guilty because you deserve somebody better not someone who was used and violated.
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Updates:
+1 y
I’m sorry to hear what you went through it’s not easy... I don’t mind if he rejects me because if that, it’s better than to marry and him finding out afterwards and leave me
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What Girls & Guys Said
5 75I don't PREFER to know but it's okay if you'd want to tell me about it. I seriously doubt it would change anything except that I'd be a bit more sensitive about the subject when it's brought up around you by others.
Yes. On the basis that it seems to still have lasting affect on you and not knowing it may lead to misunderstandings on behaviours.
You were assaulted, it wasn't your fault.
I would want to know so I could better understand you. Just like any other bad experience in your life.
I'd want to know but only so I can comfort and reassure you. What happened wasn't your fault. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise. I just wanna give you a big hug 🥺
I would prefer to know about it in case something occurred to trigger something as then I would be in a better position to understand and ensure that I could offer you the support you deserve if ever you are going through a rough patch or had a breakdown.
First of all tell me about that before I commit to you...
Like before I become your boyfriend...
Because a person Who is raped needs more tender loving and caring, and also more comfortable sexual practice!..
Overwise they may feel violated easily..
Also if a girl was raped, that won't be a reason for me to leave her or end our relationship...
She didn't do anything wrong she was the victim!..😢 She shouldn't feel bad about herself...
First of all i would try to find who and when she was raped..
Second was the rapist sentenced properly.
Three we try getting evidence and get him punished..
Four if none of that works we bagging the rapist with my friends and me wearing a mask..
Then tie him upside down from chain..
Give a whip to my girl and leave him at mercy of my girl for next few hours, let her have her vengeance...
Yeah, I would. I had a g/f tell me and gave me the court papers to prove it. She wanted to be a lawyer, in a way this was intimate to me. I like reading filings, her testimony was all transcribed so I was able to feel like I was there.
If a girl told me she was raped, that would be a red flag and I would not date her. I am a little aggressive in the bedroom and I like to take control. I would be worried about whether or not she knew the difference between aggressive sex and rape. All a woman has to do in today's world is say a guy raped her and his life gets destroyed, even if there's no proof, and even if it's proven she lied.
I would want to know but it would not stop me from loving a girl. You did nothing wrong.
I could have said yes but I picked no because it would make no different to me. You were raped it is not your fault and you should never feel guilty about. plus if you told me before hand i may have gone and killed the sonofabitch at least we are married now and i would have more self control.
It’s more about we should have reached that level of trust between us before marring that would have make you say it I think
I think any life changing or traumatic events should be disclosed in a serious relationship especially if marriage is involved. It's a sign that you trust them and should any issues stemming from it arise it won't be such a shock. What about if the roles were reversed, would you prefer he disclose it or be okay with him keeping it to himself?
Yes whatever makes him comfortable
I was in a similar position but in his shoes.
1. Yes he definitely needs to know.
2. He isn't going to care.
3. He will likely take sexual things slower with you and be more careful after finding out.
If you want to tell me go ahead.
If not.. whatever. Not like any marriage NEEDS to have that crap shared.
Honestly, I'd like to know before hand. It wouldn't change my view of someone to know they've been raped. As someone who's engaged to someone with PTSD, it's better to know someone's demons so that the person so that I can help them work through them.
Why does that matter? That is like knowing how many sex partners you had. It is not going to change past might as well look towards future with you.
Exactly.
However if you do not like certain sex scenarios because it gives you PTSD I would like to know so I never freaked you out.
I would. I would prefer to know it also from my friends. From anyone whom I can offer any help whatsoever. But definitely from my SO.
Having been raped does not make you a worse person. It means something bad happened to you. I would like to think that there are enough good guys in the world (that you would also find attractive) that you don't have to settle for someone who holds this experience against you.
Yes, I think its important to divulge that before you get married.
Yes, because it's only fair for me to know exactly what I'm about to get involved with first, so that the decision to commit or not is truly mine.