Had sex with a guy and he said we need to work on rhythm. Does that mean I’m bad at sex?

Had sex with a guy I’m dating a while and I’m not sure because he was tired with work. But he stopped halfway through the second round after I was on top of him and rolled to his side. Baring in mind the first round didn’t last long and he came within 10minutes.

During sex he had said he wants to be around me and how I’m so hot etc. So for him to roll on his side, I asked if he already came and he said no and I said are you ok? And he said yes, we need to work on the rhythm.

I was shocked because no one had told me that before and felt a bit hurt that I said so you’re saying you didn’t enjoy it and I’m bad? And he said how we are still getting to know each other’s bodies.

Is it me? Or is it him? I don’t know how to read it. The very first time we had sex, we had sex 4 times. So now we did it again, he said that, so I’m very confused.
1 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • He didn't say you were bad he flat out said both of your rhythms aren't in sync with each other. That's all it means nothing more.
    Meaning he he thrusts you push away instead of pushing into him sometimes while others he thrusts in and you thrust in or other times he thrusts in and you thrust out. That's what he means by working on the rhythm. The timing of each other's movements is off. And it's exactly like he said you're both still getting to know each others bodies. It'll take time for it to fully click and sync together properly. Work on your timing with him by practing dry humping before you and him have actual sex again that way when you do have sex with him you'll be more n sync and follow each others rhythms more easily

  • Sex rhythm is one kind of mutual understanding or body language between both couples. If one is doing something then one should be into the rest position so that after some time one should b resting and the second one moving.
    He was last for 10min with you, may b he was tired, or diverted with something, maybe because of early ejaculation issue?
    If you feel it right then ask him to take Generic tadalafil

    Had sex with a guy and he said we need to work on rhythm. Does that mean I’m bad at sex?

    and then you compare the latest moment with the past one. If this time he makes your session memorable then you both will have a clear vision on what is wrong and need to be improved.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It doesn’t mean your bad at sex. It just means you two aren’t quite fully in sync with each other. As you get more acquainted with each other’s bodies, the rhythm will come. Sometimes it just takes time and multiple attempts to get it right. Don’t give up. Maybe next time you could let him put his hands on your hips and guide you. That will help with the rhythm and he’ll probably love getting to put his hands on your hips and butt as you ride him!

  • Good rhythm during sex is a two person thing. I think it’d be silly to put it down on just one person with it really coming down to both parties syncing up well, right?

    I’m assuming it was a ONS so maybe the guy had performance anxiety or whatever and is trying to shift the blame to save face?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

12 47
  • Rhythm is a mutual thing. Don't take offense. Let him lead and try to find a rhythm that's compatible with his.

  • I mean when you ask him did you came its okay. But please don't say "are you okay?"
    He might suffer from delayed ejaculation and too insecure to tell you.
    Don't be hurt. You should both communicate what turn you on in sex.
    And female to female, it is not your duty to make him cum. Just be who you are in sex.

  • Don't be hurt... Just ask him what other positions he likes and what rhythm?

  • takes two to tango, how about you two take a dance class together and learn rhytm there. be fun, build the tension in other ways. it's a process isn't it? You're fine.. don't take it personal. you said nothing about your side of it... it isn't all about him.

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/URAqnM1PP5E
  • No, it could have been a couple a different things. I'm the person that fucks back... I will be throwing my pussy at a guy while he is fucking me and fuck the whole rhythm. There's been time when something has happened and then it made it awkward. If this is still early in the "we are having sex" phase of the relationship then you guys should be able to work on it.

  • I think he meant that you have to find a rhythm 2getha and you both have to get to know each other in bed. No two people are the same which is why I'm strongly opposed to virgin marriage. In school I was having sex with the guy everyone knew was a master lover and I really didn't find it that hot. It depends how you fit 2getha

  • I would ask him straight up what the hell do you mean by rhythm? Id be like “what rhythm I didn’t know we were keeping rhythm? If you’re working on something then you got to tell me what the hell rhythm is”

    • I’ve never really heard of rhythm and then again I suck at sex so who knows

  • It's both of you he said we as in we need to work on this that don't mean u it don't mean him it means both lol

  • It could be any of what the men have said so far but it could also be he was done and too tired to get you off so he blamed it on rhythm. I’ve never heard that one most people (men and women both) would adjust their bodies to improve the moment. Just as if a woman is on top doing whatever is good for her, most guys won’t just lie there and wait, they still thrust to join in or intensify the momentum. If you hurt him, I’m sure he would have said something or adjusted his body or yours. But in that he was just plain done, I’d bet money he was just done after getting his jollies and was too immature to say so. Thing is, most women know there’s times when a man just NEEDS sex and therefore the quickie was invented. IF he’s too immature to speak about, maybe just suggest a quickie for him, he will then realize it’s actually a thing and open to suggest it at other times when he’s tired or stressed.

  • I don't know if you should read too much into it if it's a one time thing. Sometimes sex is going well and then suddenly it's not. Sometimes sex just ends without a big climax. And that's okay, there's always more sex later!

  • Perhaps he's wanting to get kinky or maybe there's a certain movie likes he's afraid to come out with it you know you like experiment and stuff like that it depends on what you are all into what he's into

  • Don't worry, it's not a big deal... that doesn't make you bad. Have fun syncing your rhythm with his thrusting. It's not hard, just go with it. Watch some porn if you don't know what a rhythm should look like, I can't seem to find words to properly describe it, but it feels natural: like our bodies were designed to do this

  • Oh dear, there's just NO pleasing you. ;)

  • It's both of you. This is actually a good sign, because it means that he cares enough to have great sex with you. The fact that no one has told you this before just means that you've finally found someone who cares. Rhythm is how the bodies move together. He's saying that he needs to learn how to have sex with you.

  • No, personally, I think he is giving you great advice. Don't take it too personal.. men don't know how to say things certain ways, but they try, my husband actually said the same thing long time ago but it actually made a lot of sense. For him to cum, you need steady rhythm. He cums every time now!!

  • Take what he said at face value.. He literally means you two need to get to know each other physically better.

  • It might.

  • It’s him

  • Just be happy he told you

  • He's full of shit. The first time he came within 10 minutes. That tells you right there he's no "expert". It's HIM. Dump him. NOW.

  • Show More (39)