Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health My boyfriends fantasy is, of course like many men, to have a threesome with another girl. He never brings it up unless I mention it, and he has told me he would rather have me than do it and it's not a must for him. He is being really sweet about it and it makes me want to please him even more. He also said it wasn't about having sex with other women, but to see her please me, and then join later. He said the focus would be me. I really want him to feel fulfilled with me but when I imagine us doing it, I feel scared out of my mind due to these things:
1. What if she is prettier /sexier, and he starts fantasizing about being with her?
2. What if he falls out of love with me?
3. What if I get so jealous I can't enjoy and will ruin everything?
Can anyone share your experiences with threesomes in relationships? Should you do them, or only as single people? What are some tips?
How can I get over the intense fear of a threesome?
ragequeen Editor
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What Girls & Guys Said
23 105To me, I'd personally not like to do a threesome.
But if it's not against your morals...
It's getting comfortable with the partner before hand. Maybe you can request to talk to them to get to know them first and ask how threesomes work
Sup wit chu girl.
I would suggest that the things that will make you happy will be the things that are right for you *and* for others. Too many times I see people give away parts of themselves to please other people, and the results are often predictable. Sadly, but not always, this is often women perhaps because of an innate need to nurture, take it to a passive, self effacing extreme. You should decide whether this is something *you* really want. Especially given that he himself doesn't seem to be pressing for it, and knows it is pretty unreasonable. Even if he was to press for it, what would make him think and appreciate the jealousy, etc, would be to suggest that you introduce a guy, too. To me, there's just too many complicated emotions involved in order to get one's end away, or satiate a lust. Lust is just transient. We all have our fantasies. Some are best kept as a fantasy, in my opinion.
Also, you're kind of not grasping the purpose of an emotion. It's trying to tell you how you feel about something. In effect, it's a warning sign, that something is not good or does not accord for you. Trying to overcome emotions is kind of the modern emotionally illiterate nonsense which has resulted in such a brutal society.
by the way, if I love a girl, there is no chance whatsoever that she gets to fuck anyone else. If you believe in something, then affirm it positively. Again, I worry that this is a vestigial female passivity and self debasement, which is based on patterns seen in parents. My advice would be to figure out what *you* want, and what you believe, basically. And then go with it.
I have been in sexual threesome sessions several times but they have all been with a longtime female friend/. friends with benefits. and a close friend of hers ---they have all been truly enjoyable sexual experiences because they can pleasure each other to orgasm and then they allow me to enjoy p-v sexual lovemaking with both of them
But if I was in a serious relationship with a girl I would be very hesitant about a 3some --- it is a very intimate sexual session, you're in a room together, physically close to each other and you see absolutely everything, so I can quite easily understand it if a girl became both jealous & emotionally hurt watching the guy she loves having penis-vagina penetrative sex with another girl
So if you feel you would not like seeing that, then abandon the idea of having a 3some to please your boyfriend --- once you have done this, and seen him being sexual with the other girl, it'd be a memory you will never be able to erase !
Don’t DO IT
Fantasy and reality are often very different. Do you know if he would even go through with it if you did agree to it? Because I like the fantasy as well, but would I actually do it? I'm not sure?
But in your case and with your thought process here (questions), I don't think this is something you should do at all. I think your insecurities will totally get the best of you and this is going to end up coming between you. That's just my opinion. You'd need to be much more confident and secure to even think about this. Then it would take so much discussion with him, about your fears etc. All the "what if's". Selecting the right person that you both agree and are comfortable with is a huge thing as well. This "fantasy" may not be that important to him for all the risk involved? My guess is it's not? Your questions here, 1 and 2 are highly doubtful.
You are best not to do it then especially if you want your relationship with your boyfriend to grow , Having a 3 some might add conflict into the relationship so you are best to not take that chance , Allowing a 3rd party into a monogamous relationship becomes middle drama cuz the 3 rd party will get involved either secretly talking to your boyfriend behind your back or even talking to you behind your boyfriends back , there have been plenty of situations where relationships that brought a 3rd wheel in has pretty much destroyed the relationship. Just added drama all that for what? 30 minutes or so of pleasure? It’s not worth it , 3 domes are meant for people that don’t really want a committed relationship just kind of go with the flow. So if your boyfriend really loves you he will survive not getting into a 3 some with you. I know this because I was in one and all it did was turn into drama big time
I've never done a 3some but I think its not necessary for your boyfriend. I dont think you should do it because if you are asking these questions it means you're insecure. So unless you take care of your insecurities overnight you will show that in your actions during the event. My advice is you don't want to theb dont do it.
Avoid a threeway like the plague! Its not worth it. This duse has all he can handle with you, hun.
You listed a number of your concerns. You left out one main concern. What if you realize how lousy of a shag this guy is, and your new friend makes you cum so hard that you get a nose bleed?
I wish I had an answer instead of another version of the same question. I know two ladies who are intimately familiar with my anatomy in a medical, health and hygiene context but clearly enjoy spending time with me when I'm nude and continue holding my reproductive organs after examining them, though neither has fondled or played with them. Just holding them while talking or rubbing therapeutically too promote circulation, equally comfortable with me ejaculating or not. I wouldn't call it sexual, since stimulation is encouraged by them as normal, health male response and maintenance of reproductive system but intimate touching still feeling more like sisterly affection than romantic exploration. They both came off relationships that ended badly and are not interested in rebound sex and I dont want too just be another jerk in their lives. How do I convince them that it's appropriate for them too use my body for sexual release if they want too since they have already earned my trust, and I theirs, even though I haven't seen them naked yet. I dont mind being their obligations free, anatomically correct sexual release aid or appliance if familiarity or the possibility of jealousy are a concern, since I don't want anyone feeling like a fifth wheel in our informal trio. They already know me anatomically. How do I encourage them too enjoy themselves more without guilt while touching my privates, since they obviously are comfortable doing so casually?
Considering you have doubts it will most definitely destroy your relationship. That's something you have to do together without what-ifs or any insecurities. I wouldn't recommend.
It may be a fantasy to him, but I am telling you from experience, as much fun as it sounds,, unless the girls are bi sexual and can enjoy each other that's a lot of work to pleasure two girls at once, and most guys won't admit this, but more than most of us can handle. He may be great with you because he has had time to learn, bringing in a new party is not so easy
Personally I would say bad idea, first for the things you mentioned but also for the potential consequences.
1) Remember if you two would not be having sex with just her but also everyone she has had sex with and in turn the people they had sex with so on so forth
2) The second you agree to this it feels him you have no issue with this, so he. may start asking for it again even saying "Well you had. no problem with it last time"
3) At this point he may start feeling since she had no issue with me doing things with this other woman then she won't have any issues. If I do them even when she's not around, after all she knows I have before...
4) Depending on what ends up happening (such as she gets anal or vaginally penetrated) she also didn't seem to mind when I was fucking her in fact she seemed to get off on that, so it should be okay for me to fuck her whenever I want after all it's no big deal cause I've fucked her before
Of course he MAY not be this type, very, very rarely... A guy actually put in that situation, will realize that it should just stay a fantasy, even more rarely have the nerve to risk disappointing you, (after all you agreed to to it and even allowed it) and day "This is a mistake, I'm sorry I can't do this"
Which if he doesn't say could be even more devastating, since it implies you alone are Not Enough.
Make sure to talk to him about your concerns, and agree to boundaries and rules regarding this.
Take a shot of your chosen alcohol to loosen up.
Do positive repetitions in the mirror stating that nothing bad will happen between you two.
Thank you! Have you ever tried it?
Yeap more than once. It’s scariest the first time. Long as you and him have a good relationship and understand the boundaries, you’ll be fine :)
But I do suggest you get everyone tested for safety sake. Stds and all
You should definitely bring up these fears with your boyfriend before anything else. But also, you don't HAVE to have a threesome. It doesn't matter if it's your boyfriend's ultimate fantasy, it's not your job to fulfill it if you are scared or uncomfortable or just don't want to. You said yourself he doesn't mention it unless you bring it up, and that it's not a must. So maybe don't put so much pressure on yourself to do this? You really, really don't have to
I’ll be happy to share my experiences in private
General advice: make it so she can only please you (you don’t have to do anything back to her) and he can only watch, he can’t touch her or vice versa. That should relieve your jealousy.
Are you at least a little bi? If not this is not gonna work. I mean, even if you’re totally straight you’ll still get turned on and cum if she licks you, but you’ll feel really weird about it afterward.
Good advice
There's a problem here lol he doesn't want to see lesbia. Sex it's his fantasy to have sex with two women it's just saying in a polite way that she will be focus if he can't touch or fck other girl with his girlfriend then how is it threesome it would be a tease to him lol
@Aakash_Hangargi but that’s not what she wants
Yup that's what I am saying if she is doing something as favour to his boyfriend bc it's his fantasy so by law it should be his wish and say and she is putting an effort right then why not the right way or it would be disappointing is just what I am saying may be they should talk this out more there needs and wants
@Aakash_Hangargi she shouldn’t do that. That would hurt her. She needs to set rules.
Hmm Okies
Don't do it.
If she wants to please him, that is none of your business.
@guywithissues900 she asked the question dumbass, and made it everyone’s business
@lanadelrey25 She asked how to get over her jealousy, dipshit. She didn’t ask if she should do it or not.
@guywithissues900 I have an idea! Go fuck your mom, and then die! Sound good? She put her business on the internet.
As a guy who has had many threesomes I will tell you, if he is pushing for it, he's not that into you.
Yes! For real I had 3somes with my ex just cause I wanted to start having sex with new guys and have it be allowed.
@jabberwocky00 Your man isn’t even a real man if he allows that to happen.
That’s why I dumped him
Oh I didn’t explain details on this one. I dumped him and married the other guy
@jabberwocky00 Good!
I'm a one woman kind of man so I can't really solve this. I'd rather advise against it! In part because of the very reasons you state. We aren't meant to be polyamorous.
Low-key wouldn't do it if you have those multiple "what ifs" in your head.
When you never say "high key" or "on the up high" ... 🤣
Can he really fall out of love that easily with you? He seems genuine about you. There's always the option to not have a threesome you know. Sex isn't the most important thing in the world, you can satisfy him in other ways too