How do guys separate sex from love?

I don’t see how it’s possible to have sexual relations without romantically being inclined
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't see how it's possible to separate sex from passion. Love is something else that comes after getting to know someone over a period of time. Lust and Infatuation are what drives passion.

    To re-word your question, how do guys separate sex from passion/lust? I have no idea, I've never been successful at that. friends with benefits relationships always end up devolving into one side or the other developing "feelings" that complicate the arrangement, and ultimately cause it to end.

  • I find that often times the more in love you are with someone, the better the sexual dynamic can become. One time things you'd barely no the other person and barely scratch the surface in exploring the mind and body and all the sensations that can be discovered together as your emotional bond comes to life. That's why it's way better to be with one person who u know really well and know your compatible with, as opposed to a one night stand kind of arrangement.

    • This is my point, some guys are for friends with benefits and one night stands while I think a lot of women are against that

    • If you don't mind me asking, how would you separate the two? Like is their certain types of guys you would peg only for one time flings, and others for long term relationships?

    • I guess it depends on your demeanor and how serious you seem to be for the relationship, if you aren’t giving effort then I would just see it as a filing

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sex is a biological need. Girls think that you need to love someone to have sex with them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Warning: generalizations to follow - of COURSE there will be individual exceptions!

    You're a female - you have very strong biological mechanisms in place to cause you to bond when you have sex, and a huge desire for relationships. In fact, women's interests in general are more focused on relationships/people than any other thing. All of that is a consequence of evolution and the female's role in reproduction.

    Pregnancy is a HUGE deal for a woman - she carries the child, she gives birth to the child, and then largely feeds and cares for the child for several years before it is able to care for itself for more than a minute or two at a time. And that process makes you vulnerable, and has historically been potentially life-threatening (between 1600-1900, a little over 20% of women died in childbirth - today it's less than 1%, but that's only post-WWII with modern medical knowledge and medicines). There's a damn good reason for you to be motivated to pair-bond with a male - traditionally you needed a male to protect and provide for you, especially during and following a pregnancy, when you were especially vulnerable.

    Men's role in reproduction is VERY different, and this informs the male instinct and drive. A man can have sex with a woman for 5 minutes, and his role in reproduction is complete, and he can go on his merry way and not give it another thought (I'm not saying that's the norm, but it's certainly possible). Biologically, mens' role in reproduction is to fertilize seeds - to pollinate - and so men have a drive to have sex with (which until 60 years ago was practically synonymous with "impregnate") as many different women as possible. That would ensure he had children with a diverse gene pool, so that even if some of his children were genetically vulnerable to disease or birth defects or whatever, others would not be, and thus he was far more likely to have children that survived him.

    You can't "spread your seed" if you can't separate love from sex, and so men have biological differences that allow them to do so. Men generally have a desire to have sex with EVERY woman he finds attractive, even if he only has feelings for a small fraction of those women. This doesn't make men "bad" or "wrong" - just different. We have a different biological function than women do, and that comes with both benefits and liabilities, just as being a woman does.

    As it turns out, LOVE gives men a strong motivation to suppress their biological instincts and remain monogamous. It used to be - and sometimes still is - the case that women worked hard to be valuable and desirable to men, so that men would fall in love with them and choose to remain monogamous and to provide protection and support for her and the children. Because far fewer women are interested in being valuable to men - feminism has taught them that they don't need to be - men are far less interested in having relationships with women, and instead have reverted to their more basic programming: having sex with as many women as they can and nothing more. And the ones who can't do that are happier to leave the game than play a game they are sure to lose.

  • Love the soul and not the body.
    It has a deeper meaning which states that having intimacy gives you statisfaction but love has more of it. In love you need to be understanding, trustworthy, supportive and a good listener. Sex is a part of love which is when you both feel the sensation of having it. Love is predominantly the mutual understanding. Sex is the need of the body and love is the essence of life.

  • We can at the beginning.
    Not in the long run; in the long run, a steady diet of sex will eventually cause us to fall in love.

  • I don't, and I don't see why anyone would want to.

  • Because you can feel sexual pleasure without feeling emotions.

  • I don’t separate. it , sex to me is better when you are in love with someone , when you have a deep connection and you know you are both faithful and loyal to each other and sacrifice for each other , so if I have that kind of connection with a girl sex to me means something, it keeps you both close to each other. people that can just have sex just to get off without a connection doesn’t really sit well with me , I consider that dirty , call me old school but that’s just the way I look at it

  • love is an emotion and sex is a bodily need. they are completely different. i've found all women i've encountered to be able to separate the two

  • Sex is physical, love is emotional.

  • Love leads to sex. Straight up sex (hook ups) or friends with benefits is lust.

  • Ah by just seeing it as a way to get off

  • I use love in any sex activity that i do whit a girl.

  • Like a chocolate cake without the chocolate. You can eat it, but it's not the same.

  • if you don't want a relationship in your live, that's relatively easy to separate. if you actually want one, it's hard.

  • Oh, it's very possible. It's been going on since time began. Maybe you'll never understand it, who knows?

    Sex can be just sex. Love doesn't have to involve sex, but sex with love is grand. You'll decide for yourself.

  • Hookups are for sex. Relationships for love.

  • I dont know if i have a talent or special power or anything but when i have sex with a girl even if we cuddle after kisses going out do romantic stuff is like i have a switch to turn OFF my feels for her... if i dont wanna fall in love with a girl i dont.. i dont know how i do it but i do it and it works really well.. and if i also want to fall in love i let my guards down and i fall for her.. no there are some girls 2/10 that is hard to control my feels with them.. but yea i just turn my feels off

  • Sometimes sex is just a physical release. Love is more of an emotional connection.

  • If you just feel the need whilst your romantic life isn't working for you, then that happens.

  • Just try it. You'll see

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