How do I stop liking/wanting anal sex?

[Anonymous]

Please do not say that I should just embrace it. I will never ever try anal in real life. I'd rather die. That's how much I hate it. And it's unnatural and unhealthy too. Like, people who have anal need to wear diapers when they're older. It's so groce and disgusting. The thing is, I used to watch a lot of p*rn, and that's how this got into my head. ughh. I've stopped watching p*rn, but I can't seem to orgasm from fantasizing about anything other than anal. I'm serious, normal sex does nothing for me. After I masturbate to anal, it makes me feel extremely degraded, and even depressed. I've broken down in tears afterwards. It's not the masturbation, I've been masturbating since forever, it's the anal part which makes me feel disgusting. This is affecting me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It's not because I have sexual hang-ups, I'm very kinky/open-minded, but anal makes me feel degraded and worthless Should I see a counsellor/psychologist? Will therapy help me get rid of these fantasies? Again, please don't say that I should accept it! I'm not going to accept being degraded.

[Anonymous]

its all a mater of perception.. When you think about anal, you feel degraded. because thats how you have defined it. (how have you defined it? well at one point in your life you decided that anal=being degraded.. could've been when you we young watching porn, or maybe u heard a peer say somethin like "il fuck you in the ass" in a degrading way.. in any case, at that point you decided that anal was degrading. but how YOU feel about something is how you DECIDE to feel. nobody else can force you to feel a certian way, or force you to change how you feel. also nobody can feel FOR you or ever experience exactly the same feeling you have TOWARDS something. its all in YOUR head. so my point is this. if you feel degraded about anal its because you WANT to feel degraded. its how you have defined it. you have solidified that perception through fantasizing about being degraded through anal sex in your head. News flash, whether your being degraded in your mind, or degraded in real life, your still being degraded. and your still accepting and allowing it. stop degrading yourself in your mind, and maybe your sexual expression and the experience of yourself will stop degrading as well :)

[AustinMan]

I hear your pain. It's quite a conflict you have there. I'm just thinking out loud here but is it possible you are actually sexually submissive and that anal is something you really want but fear it because you a modern empowered woman who could never let anyone do anything like that under any circumstances?

What do you think of the idea that your "real life" self and your sexual self are really two different things and that they don't have to be congruent? That's my situation. In real life, I'm the perfect gentleman but when the clothes start coming off, I'm a very dominant, masterful lover with a bit of a sexually sadistic streak. I love anal in large part because it makes me feel so dominant and like such a "man!"

Your thoughts? Message me if you want to go offline.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried anal on a guy? Like toys or a strapon? I didn't like the idea much at all. But I gave it a go because my husband asked. Seeing him so turned of when I did him with a strapon changed my whole outlook on anal sex and now I'm more in to reviving as well. Anal dose not have to be about dominance, many that's why you find it bad that you like it. When we do anal it's all about pleasing each other. Just a thought.

[shannonmeow]

You obviously already have made up your mind but your body knows whats up! I hated anal for years until i met a guy that did it right. you have to have the right partner to explore with and make it special. The anal you see on most porn isn't any fun.. but there are lots of super sensitive areas to enjoy, there's nothing degrading about that... plus, anal can't get you pregnant

[likitdrty]

Can you give any tips. Never tried it myself tbh

[shannonmeow]

Sure lol.. Give her oral.. Massages.. Use oil/ lube... & dont try if she hasn't pooped recently

[likitdrty]

Positioning though and penetrating. How?

[roland77]

@likitdrty There are good guidelines here on GaG. E. g.:
Soft Anal. Because It's Not All About Pain ↗
Comfortable Anal Sex for Beginners: A Guide to the First Time ↗
Is Anal Sex Dangerous? ↗ (no more or less than vaginal, except hurting anus)
How to: Anal (straight couples) ↗

[SimpleGirl94]

I know exactly how do you feel.
If you are interested to talk about this issue, please send me pm. I had similar issues, but I am not comfortable to talk here about it.

[JonJames]

Sounds like you both would also try dirty ass to mouth - and orgasm with it. You might hate yourself after. But in the moment, you both would suck the shit dik. True? has it happened already?

[MajesticTwelve]

Anal is fine. Nothing wrong with it, in the right circumstances it can be pretty great!
If you enjoy it, then just enjoy it. there's nothing degrading about it at all.

[hellionthesage]

How is it degrading? Also the diaper thing is a myth, it can be damaging if you don't use proper lubricant and dont do it carefully ( probably shouldn't jack hammer it). So what about it makes you feel like its degrading? Is oral sex also degrading or any thing else or is it just anal?

[kheserthorpe]

I shouldn't have read this.

[Asker]

Why?

[kheserthorpe]

Because although I haven't done it... My two biggest fantasies are anal. And humiliation (of my partner. Ideally about what turns her on). Though that's during sex. Outside of it I want to be warm and affectionate and treasure her...

[Asker]

The thing that turns me on the most about anal is the reason I hate it so much: I want to be completely dominated, used and degraded. For me, the pleasure from anal is purely psychological - it makes me feel very slutty and submissive. I haven't tried it either but I've used a dildo, and physically, it doesn't feel that great. It's a weird sensation, and it's mostly just a mixture of discomfort and pain. I wouldn't be able to cum from it unless I was fingering my clit at the same time. I don't want to try anal in real life because I know that the pleasure is psychological anyway, so I can get the same pleasure from fantasizing, without any actual anal stimulation. It's probably the most complete way to submit - girls don't even feel any physical pleasure from it, only pain, so it's all about him, and it's like, kind of like I'm a prostitute and he's just using my body. I'm submitting to him so totally, feeling pain for his pleasure, and just letting him use me like a toy.

[Asker]

Contd.. but after the orgasm and the sexual high fades, I'm just left feeling used and degraded. Maybe that' show prostitutes feel after they have sex. Also, it makes me feel bad that I'm letting him abuse my body like that.. If the dildo felt painful, I can't imagine how it would feel like when a guy thrusts/ejaculates.. I believe in treating your body like a temple, it's the only one you have, I take care of myself very well, I eat healthy, exercise, do yoga and meditate. I know that anal can have negative health effects like, tears, hemmorhoids, incontinence, etc.. That is scary to me, especially because I'm such a health freak

[kheserthorpe]

idk. I think you need to either stop getting off to this fantasy which is conditioning you to like it... Or... Wrap your head around it. While I don't get I engage in it, for a long time i felt really bad about wanting it. I eventually came to terms with it. For what it's worth while what you describe is almost exactly what I want - calling her names, making it like she's being used for my pleasure, using her like a sex object - that's not at all how I want the relationship to be and in fact that would make the sex unappealing. I don't want some pathetic sex object to use. I want an amazing bright incredible woman who -chooses- to in that moment be a sex object for me. That's what's thrilling, to me anyway. And it wouldn't make me view her as less or look down on her at -all- But that's just me.

[kheserthorpe]

I'll also just mention that to me... it seems completely normal that you'd both find it hot, and then feel terrible afterwards. But I don't think you HAVE to feel this way. Because you're NOT a sex object. You're a person, and you have great value. So if what you want is someone who loves, you, values you, treasures you, appreciates you... and someone who is so turned on by you, who goes crazy to the point where they feel like they need to degrade you to get some shred of power back from the enslavement they feel by their longing for you... whose to say that's wrong? Who says you can't submit to being a little slut, and still be loved and cared for?

[SarahsSummer]

You give yourself anal for masturbation and you like it? Why stop? You'll eventually get past your hang ups.

[normalice]

the degradation is in your head. Yes, it is the most embarrassing part of your body, and yes you want a dick in it - that doesn't mean he finds it embarrassing. I lick girls' buttholes as often as allowed to underscore this notion. Butts are great. And if you cum with his dick in your ass, he'll feel like a god.

Also, the physical problems that result from anal are usually due to not doing it properly. Do it properly, and you won't have to worry about them.

[DodgersGM]

People fantasize about all sorts of things that they don't actually want in practice.

The fat that you feel so depressed and worthless as a result of your own fantasies makes me think that yes, you might want to seek counseling for this.

Have you experienced depression before in your life that didn't stem from this?

[Asker]

When I said depressed, I didn't mean that I was clinically depressed. But, yeah, it makes me feel pretty bad.. like, my self-esteem hits rock bottom after I orgasm. I noticed that since I've had these fantasies, my self-esteem is low, especially when talking to/interacting with guys, I'm normally an outgoing/bubbly person, but with guys I'm becoming more submissive (not just sexually, but my personality as well ) I don't know why that is... I think I've just internalized the things that I tell imagine him telling me when I'm masturbating such as "you're a slut/whore", "you're my sex toy", "you're nothing but my fuck hole" etc.. I masturbate 5 times a week, so I tell myself these things almost every day, and strangely, I think I'm actually starting ot believe it subsconsiously

[DodgersGM]

Hmmm, interesting. If you feel like this is becoming an issue for you, then yeah, why not talk to someone about it? It can't hurt. :-)

[JonJames]

Some girls need dirty talk to orgasm hard. So what? It is nothing to worry about. I bet you would be open to trying dirty ass to mouth -- suking the shit dik. Am I right?

[Prof_Don]

You're thinking WAY too much... your sex partners won't look down on u for being into anal.

[roland77]

Yes, true. It is the opposite direction for most males. It is very intimate and for the receiving partner it feels very deep penetrating.

[Hollywoodundead677]

I’m the same boat as you
When you figure out how to stop it
Let me know

[Kreneman]

I believe you should seek counseling because your allowing and building this issue in a way where it can ruin yourself, sex life, and your relationship with a guy that might be the one for you. There are many sexual activities that are gross but at the same time there many people that can pick sexual activities in the wrong way through bad experience and the same if you watch porn can also affect you the wrong way but the big picture is having positive balance meaning take the time to clear your mind for a while and exercise your mind slowly towards healthier sexual meanings.

[Mitch-french]

Ok. I won't say that. I think you have a difficult issue there. Maybe see a psychologist. Other option is think of when it gets messy Everytime you fantasize. Eventually it might get off your imagination.

[Skadouchebag]

It's only inherently degrading if you insist on treating it as such. I honestly don't understand why so many people think that way.

[IrisBanks]

Think of your mom

[Boo_Boo_Bumpkin]

Your the only person that is degrading yourself I mean seriously your open minded but your dirty for enjoying anal p*rn I understand not wanting to do it cause its unhealthy but watching it is not unhealthy if you keep saying your worthless you start believing and I don't see why you believe you are cause your not your a human humans like what they like and for no reason some times once you stop calling yourself worthless and disgusting you start to stop degrading your self and then you will probably be able to move onto a new kink and then you can only get off to foot porn

[Anon-ymous1]

Um. This question is stupid.

[Internet_Monster]

I agree with mr. Anon try it

[William5vincere]

I would suggest seeing a sex therapist, and the part about wearing diapers when you get older is a bit offensive. I worked as a nursing assistant and they wore them due to loss of bladder control not because of "accidents"

[Philyouup]

Sorry you feel that way, by the way, I have been pegged for a while, and my ass is not in need of diapers, one of my GFs has been getting in the ass for many years, it's still one tight hole.. and nothing is slipping out that she doesn't want to have slip out, including my dick ..

[jasco]

Slowly stop exposing yourself to it, find things to distract you from it and try just focusing on other things. Therapy would help

[harleyboots]

you should explor other things with sex toys that might make you feel better and turn you on while masturbateing and try to think of other thing

[DanielDiamond]

You are lying to yourself that's why you feel down or depressed.. look it up
... cognitive dissonance

Anal is the best by the way, open your ass and see god for the first time

[eups1]

If you orgasm why are u feeling worthless... I hate to break it to you but you are pretty much every guys dream girl