How many of you guys believe that sex is an actual need?

[Anonymous]

I’d argue that sex itself isn’t actually a need. You won’t die if you don’t have it like you would if you don’t eat. It’s actually more about needing what you get from sex such as connection, self esteem, security & autonomy. If these are t being met in other ways sex is one way of helping to achieve these. And if you’re unable to get these through sex too you’re likely to develop neurosis - which to be fair would explain many of the odd opinions you see here quite often.

[TonyBologna25]

You won't die without it, but I definitely think it's needed for overall health. Humans are sexual beings and crave intimacy with others. If I don't cum all week, I'll start to cum in my sleep. I'll have unwanted erections all throughout the day. I'd seek a connection with someone else desperately. My mental health would suffer if a dry spell lasted long enough. I'd start to feel unattractive as if something was wrong with me. I'd have all of this pent up energy and have no sufficient way to channel it outside of masturbation. I believe that sex is extremely healthy. It's a way to bond with someone in the most intimate way possible. It releases feel good endorphins and reduces stress. It connects you to someone else and humans crave connection. It promotes a healthy endocrine system, has other biological benefits, and it is also does a number on mental health. We all have an innate desire for sex due to our biological programming that tells us to procreate. Marriages and relationships start to fail when sex is taken out of the equation for a reason.

[Dargil]

My take is this. With young men, it is an addiction. Its why we make fools out of ourselves over pussy. Women are not addicted. It is an acquired taste driven by repetition and the push of culture. If it becomes unavailable, women lose their appetite for it and can do completely without... even masturbation... over time. That is not to say women do not need intimacy. They do and can get it from bearing and raising children and from non-sexual (grooming, massage) intimacy with other women. I also think that some ordinarily heterosexual women can infrequently cross over and engage in sexual intimacy with other women out of a need for comforting, not so much desire.

Women who read this, please enlighten me.

[Blublub]

Uh no. As a heterosexual woman I would not get intimacy from massaging other women. Where the hell did you come up with that out of your ass.

[Dargil]

@Blublub You also do not have any manners. Do you talk to people like that in the real world or are you rude only on social media?

[Blublub]

I’m actually not hiding behind a screen I would say it to your face if you said that to me. And I’m one of the few on here

[Asker]

I wouldn’t say it’s not a drive for girls, I remember when my teenage hormones hit, I definitely felt the high sex drive, but at the same time women are shamed for it so that’s a big factor in dampening that desire. Also maybe girls have a much stronger desire for connection that young guys do, it does seem to play out that way. I think women meet their needs for connection through friendships, it’s not the same as it is with a partner but it’s still connection and they each have their equal benefits with a partner and friends. I don’t think massage is considered connection though.

[Asker]

*than

[Asker]

You do make many other good very valid points though.

[Dargil]

@Blublub. Good for you.

[Asker]

@Blublub let’s keep it friendly

[Dargil]

Blublub is well named, I think.

[Vanessa_Reyes]

The only needs in life are air, water & food. But hey I'll sign a petition to get sex on that list 🤣🤣🤣

[JustJen]

Human needs are not only about physical survival. Google Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

[Asker]

I’m well aware, I’ve already studied it in psychology and health. That’s the point I’m making! I feel like men are misinformed and are blindly lead to believe sex is a need when actually it’s the psychological needs that they actually get met through sex.

[JustJen]

Psychologic needs are needs just as much as physiological needs are.

[JustJen]

Meaning you can't live a full life nor be fullfilled as a human being without sex.

[perfectchaos]

Do we need no but what if you dont need to breathe to live but still had the desire and uncomfortable feeling from not breathing? What if I held your head underwater? You won't die but it sure wouldn't be fun would it?

[Asker]

I hold my breath under water quite often for my water sports! It’s all a part of the enjoyment.

[perfectchaos]

I'm talking about at the edge when it becomes uncomfortable.

[Asker]

Well then that’s void because you do need to breathe at that point, it is precisely a need for survival. Your point doesn’t make sense in those terms.

[perfectchaos]

It's not a need it's a feel. Free divers can hold their breath much longer because they have better control over that feeling the need to breathe. It's not a point of survival it's about a feeling of survival

[Asker]

Don’t be ridiculous. It is a need. Do you know how oxygen works in the body? Free divers have certain biological advantages and training. Pushing a diver to their limits is exactly the same as any other person at their limits.

[Asker]

That training is not just mental it’s physilogical (anyone can train themselves mentally) not everyone can train themselves physiologically. Your argument isn’t even making sense because all it seems to be proving is mind over matter means sex isn’t a need.

[perfectchaos]

When did I argue a sex is a need? I'm telling you how it feels and you don't want to listen. You want to argue how they are different. Of course free divers is not all mental just like a runner. You know the difference between a person who runs past the wall? It is just will. Mind over matter. A person can only train their body so much and yes I know how the body uses oxygen to make energy especially in the process of using energy unless you enter anaerobic. All I'm saying it's a strong need we are born with that we fight and women don't understand instead they argue how our urges don't exist and we are horrible people.

[Asker]

You just said “all I’m saying is it’s a strong need we’re born with that we fight”. I do feel like older men have a better grasp of understanding this generally. Women don’t label men horrible for wanting sex, contrary to popular belief women also enjoy sex. What gets labelled as horrible is the deceit that at times accompanies it - which is fair.

[perfectchaos]

I agree that deceit is horrible. Also older men are better at running and biking too because they have learned how to do mind over matter. You don't have a clue when you get a girl though that just tricks you. My first girlfriend would tease me for 2 months about sex every day and I never got it from her. Everyday. If I said it as a need I'm sorry it should be feels like a strong a need.

[MrKinktastic]

Sex isn’t a need in the sense of food/water/shelter but emotional bonding in a relationship is essential and sex is the primary means to achieve this from a physiological standpoint.

You won’t die from celibacy though, your sexuality just gets increasingly twisted and weird like Ghandi’s.

[Asker]

By this is the point the article was making. Men feel that they can’t get those needs met elsewhere as it’s only considered manly to attain them through sex, whereas women get them met in all sorts of other ways. That’s the point they’re making, men should be able to achieve those needs in other ways too, it needs to be made more socially acceptable to create healthier relationships and wellbeing.

[Asker]

But*

[MrKinktastic]

Not much to argue against there, social soothing is a need and physical contact is part of that. I agree it’s best if we can achieve it in multiple ways, otherwise you just shoehorn each girl who says yes to date into that box out of desperation.

[Asker]

Exactly

[tjkyle316197]

The biggest luxury I got from my relationship with women was closeness and intimacy that was easy to interpret by the way their head rested on my chest as we slept together. I've survived far too long without sex to not realize what's really of utmost importance.

[Kurαȷ]

I describe a "need" as something that affects a creature negatively if not satisfied, whether physically or mentally.
And by that definition, sex is definitely a need.

Furthermore, the reproductive drive is one of the strongest drives of a living being, we could argue that it is in fact the strongest, and that hunger and thirst exist merely to achieve it, after all, the survival of a single specimen by itself is completely inconsequential from an evolutionary perspective.

So, even as someone with a low sex drive and only fleeting interest in intimacy, I have to concede that sex is most definitely a strong need from a biological perspective.

[Asker]

Biologically yes, but in reality most people are actually trying to NOT get pregnant so the point is pretty void.

[mrmonogamous]

Course it’s an actual need! We are primal beasts. Evolution has taught us we must procreate!

[Asker]

Funny that, considering contraception is so popular and most guys are actually trying to MOT get her pregnant. Yeah, makes total sense.

[Asker]

NOT*

[R4vedave]

Is it a need to live? No, of course not.
Is it a need for a successful long term relationship? I certainly believe so, yes.

[Asker]

Is it a need to live? YES! Unless you’re depressed.

[R4vedave]

Disagree, because it's not going to kill you. Needs would be food, water, shelter. Pretty much everything beyond that is a want. It'd definitely suck if you went your whole life without sex, but it won't kill you.

[Asker]

Actually it does, I’ve seen plenty of examples where people have decided they don’t want to live and then their bodies will give up on them. It’s very real!

[0112358]

Population wise, it's of course a need.

For individuals, you don't need sex to survive, just as you don't need stable employment, friendship, affection, honesty, fidelity in a partner, or love.

And people are often able to overcome deficiencies in those things to be reasonably happy in their lives.

But for a lot of people, a terrible sex life, or perhaps worse, a bad sex life with a partner, is a major hit to their happiness and relationship satisfaction.

You also suggest sex can be a salve when other emotional needs aren't being met. For me, at least, in some of those areas, it's the opposite. If I'm getting those needs met as much as possible from other sources, i'm running at 70%, but I could be barely getting them elsewhere, have a good sex partner and be at 90%.

[Asker]

Not true. If they don’t get the emotional fulfilment they often become neurotic and unhealthy.

[Asker]

You’re staying the obvious as life is complex but I’m talking in very cstraight down the line terms to highlight an important and valid point that all too often misleads people into toxic situations.

[0112358]

I'm in a toxic situation specifically because I didn't accept sex was as important to me as it actually is. I think it's true that understanding your actual needs is important. I thought love was all I needed, and I was very wrong, or at least didn't recognize how important mutual sexual desire was for me to feel loved.

[ShadowofRegret]

It is not a need, perverts onlt say that to try to justify their lack of self-control.

[ShadowofRegret]

*only

[Asker]

Yep 100%

[MackToday]

I sure don't. I'm shocked at the reptile level behavior on here how men and women treat each other, cheating on each other, throwing each other away like trash over their supposed "need" for sex or for sex of a certain type. One woman was going to turn to her friend secretly because her boyfriend didn't give her the kind of sexual experience she specifically wanted. I swear at that point you're not even human you're a fucking lizard or something.

[Asker]

Yeah I know. I literally have no words sometimes like how are you even able to have sex in the first place if you’re that retarded.

[Asker]

I think this should be MHO tbh.

[MackToday]

You wonder how the world will hold together with simulacrums of human kind like that crawling around out there. Humanity surely must exist on many different levels. Lol, maybe human is a "spectrum" .

[Asker]

Well more and more people are single and divorced than ever today so it seems to be going that way. I’ve heard psychaitrists say that society is becoming more narcassistic and psychopathic. Is it any wonder really when people try and delude themselves with such infantile excuses. What happened to actually respecting and connecting with people? It’s so sad.

[Asker]

I think people need a reminder of how people came together and overcame adversity etc in times gone by. I love reading old letters between lovers and friends etc, people seemed far more innocent back then.

[MackToday]

Its because we lost all our guidance. In the past we had traditions that gave us a plan to follow. It was far from perfect but it was at least guiding us in the right direction. We followed natures way back then. When nihilism was introduced into our society by so called scholars people lost touch with nature, they questioned their very ability to even perceive nature. Jordan Peterson has some very good videos on the subject as to what happened to us. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPojltjv4M0

[Asker]

That’s incredibly sad! Life is full of meaning! You don’t have to be religious but a moral compass is naturally ingrained, you can observe this in healthy children.

[MackToday]

You can see it in children because it's part of our set of natural instincts. The narrative today is informed by Karl Marx who never even acknowledged that nature is a thing. To a Marxist human's are a blank slate to be programmed in any way they want. Unnatural ideas and concepts are pushed off on the public and people's psyche just reject them like a sliver festers in a finger to be popped out at some later date. That's where the saying "get woke , go broke" comes from when stupid companies embrace this abnormal thinking.

[Ramtastic]

It's not a NEED but sexual frustration can be very taxing on a mental standpoint. Can help relieve stress and clear bad thoughts/feelings

[Asker]

I think that can still be done in other ways. Often times the thing you’re looking for through sex to relieve stress etc is a psychological need, not a sexual one. That can be met elsewhere. You can also sort your self out sexually.

[Asker]

I’m not saying it’s not nice or preferable, but that’s all it is, it’s not a need as such.

[Ramtastic]

Yes masterbation can do that but still doesn't quite do it to the same level. I agree it's a psychological need but for some the sexual urges are a part of that, can make you feel very irratable

[genericname85]

you can not get physical intimacy, confidence and a connection that you get from sex in another way. yeah you can compensate and survive without it like you can survive for a few weeks without food. that doesn't mean that's not an actual "need". without it, you will slowly but surely starting to break mentally and emotionally. trust me, i know what i'm talking about. compensation for this has it's limits.

[Asker]

How is that so when there are people who don’t have sex? Look at ‘functional’ priests of various faiths for example. I’m not saying trying to override he desire is easy but I just struggle to see how it’s as bad as what society likes to portray (in many unhealthy ways too)...

[Asker]

I’m just not convinced, I think of societies thinking shifted around certain things into a more realisyltic view of human needs regardless of gender it’d be much more balanced.

[genericname85]

because they never get a psychological look behind the fassade. just cause someone "looks ok" doesn't mean he is. i would argue if you psychoanalyze a priest that has a healthy sexuality trying to force thier ideology upon their body, i am willing to bet that they are not ok. if someone is asexual, he doesn't need it but well there's an argument to be made that they are not mentally healthy either.

[Thatsamazing]

We talking about Maslow's Hierarchy here again?

[one1wild00]

Interesting hypothesis.

[loveslongnails]

Technically, that is correct. Realistically, there are very few people in the world it would suit.

[bangyourhead]

It’s in the base of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

[Asker]

It’s still debated though. Let’s also be real, nobody has ever actually died from not having sex. Surely that says it all.

[bangyourhead]

I understand. People don’t die from lack of hugs. That doesn’t meant they’re not critical to human development.

[Asker]

You need to re-read the information. The point is emotional support is essential for healthy living. The act sex itself isn’t a need - the psychological aspects it provides are. No offence but unless people can make sensible points I’m no longer wasting my time reading or commenting.

[bangyourhead]

Lol. Whatever. Your problem is you’re too smart for us.

[Dchrls78104]

Welk, I don't. Sex isn't something you need, it's just something you want. Going without it won't kill you and dying a virgin is not shameful or disadvantageous.

[Asker]

I agree. It’s defi nice to have and a great way to connect and release stress. But it’s false that you can’t achieve those without sex.

[crmoore]

It's not technically a need but sexual release is a practical need. It can cause stress and frustration if not dealt with and that can cause a lot of emotional/psychological problems. But I mean technically you don't need it. Unlike water and food, you literally need that to live.

[Asker]

Are you sure you’re not still confusing the sex for other needs? What about if you got that connection and self esteem from other things instead?

[crmoore]

Can you elaborate?

[stuntbrain]

Only those who believe Maslow's hierarchical bullshit

[Asker]

People believed this before it was added to MHN because of the false gender stereotyping.

[stuntbrain]

Doesn't change the fact that it's wrong

[stuntbrain]

Like you said, nobody dies from lack of sex

[stuntbrain]

It doesn't belong on the same level as food or water

[Asker]

Never said it did. Just being clear. There’s obviously another reason this has become an ingrained belief, even though false.

[stuntbrain]

Lol. I'm not saying you said that

[stuntbrain]

People believe it because they confuse the definition of "needs" and "wants"

[stuntbrain]

Need means you literally can't survive without it

[Asker]

Yeah exactly. I mean we all do need emotional filulfillment to be healthy too. But that’s actualky what sex fulfills. Sex itself isn’t the need.

[stuntbrain]

Exactly. All too often the word "need" has been used to describe a necessary means of meeting a desire

[stuntbrain]

Like how we need money to buy something. It doesn't mean we need the thing itself

[YHL6965]

Sure, you won't die if you don't have sex but, just like socializing, you need it in your life otherwise you're damaging yourself mentally.

[Asker]

You’ve misunderstood the question. Read it again. It’s talking about filling those psychological needs outside of sex.

[YHL6965]

You're right, but I still think that sex is a sort of need too, but on a more primal level compared to bonding and things like that.

[termanator]

Not a need I would say but more of an urge.