Lots of people feel this way (the super shy part, at least), and many of the kinkiest, most sexually-enthusiastic girls I've been with or met have been shy.
Just as you've already experienced, being shy means that even if a guy likes you, he needs to know that you like him back or he'll think you aren't interested and he'll give up and go away. in my opinion, it's also important that they know WHY you respond this way - because you're shy, rather than because you are uninterested. People will always assume the worst (in this case, that you are uninterested), unless they find out that the reason is something else. You need to understand that guys will never just assume that the problem is that you are shy - they'll never come to that conclusion on their own - they'll assume you don't like them.
How do you overcome that? Communication is the only way, but clearly that's part of the problem, SO, in my opinion, the way you solve that problem is to write them a note/letter, and explain that you are painfully shy, and that your lack of response is not due to disinterest but to crippling shyness. Tell them that you understand if that's a problem for them, and that if they prefer to move on, you get it. Otherwise, you ARE interested, but they're going to need to take the initiative and be patient with you (and be confident) when it comes to responses, because it will take you a while to be able to open up and talk to them.
There will be guys who won't want to deal with what they see as a hassle, and they will move on, but plenty of guys, once they understand that the problem is just shyness, will have no problem taking the lead and being patient with you. Many will find the process of getting to know you and getting you to open up as something that brings you closer together and builds strength in your relationship. But they HAVE to have your situation explained to them, so that they know that the problem is YOU and you being SHY, and NOT that you think they are beneath you or that you just aren't interested in them. I can't think of a better way to do that than a note/letter you can give them.
in my opinion, you don't need to bring up your kinky side until you can break the ice enough to actually talk to him face-to-face, and you don't want guys just taking advantage of you sexually. Shy girls need to be in relationships, because you feel too strongly about people to have casual sex (it would hurt you emotionally), so focus on solving that problem before you get too involved in the sex aspect. You can say something like "I'm open-minded about sex", but I wouldn't start listing all the kinky sex acts you are looking forward to trying or anything - that will too often be taken the wrong way and end up with you just getting used for sex. Just try to make sure HE is open-minded (and maybe kinky) about sex himself, and you should be fine.
If you are too shy at first to talk, body language is 90% of communication.
Looking at a guy and smiling is a sign. Sometimes looking back down shyly is super cute. But the interested look and coquettish smile is what will let him know that you're interested. You have to make eye contact at least for a moment.
You could try walking past him, smile, and then look back over your shoulder at him with a bright smile while swaying your hips.
Anyone who saw you doing any of these things would tell him "She likes you." And he's be a dumb ass not to see it for himself.
If you are alone for a moment with him, you could wait until he's watching, and then run your hands up your stomach or waist to the sides or undersides of your boobs, or run your hands slowly down your waist and over the curves of your hips, and glance up for a moment with an interested smile, before shyly looking back down.
If you're too shy to do any of those things, or even look at him and smile, you might hand him a note that says "I'm paralyzed with shyness, but I'd like to get to know you. I have crazy fantasies."
And, overall, if he talks to you, you have to at least look interested. Use your eyes and your smile. If you're quivering and weak kneed with nervousness, he'll love it. But you have to at least push through your fear and force yourself to look up at him and smile. Even flat out say "God I'm nervous."
I think you have to find a way out of your shell a bit. Perhaps chatting through text or online with dating apps first? But when you find the right guy to get through, you're going to have a lot of fun. :)
Being shy can be taken the wrong way, I was so shy but I slowly started coming out of my shell. I was the same way I still live kinky things.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Social skills are an acquired talent. Social bravery also takes practice, or a degree of foolishness. For most of us practice.
Push yourself. If Hi is your current limit go for Hi and a question. Tell someone you're hungry, maybe even in a group, and see who tags along. Try some safe areas. While most of my social ability was in person things like flirting I first practiced online since it felt very awkward. Once I felt confident I could grab someone's attention and interest in a call doing so in person was not too big a leap.
Gradual steps. But you do need to take them.
Let's see? ... too shy to act upon your kinks? ... yes, that is a tough one, not sure that I have an answer for you :(
I think you are the best teacher she could have maybe 🌹guide her to learn the ropes
Learn to get out of your shy shell.
practice chatting to people such as shop staff when out shopping, example go to an electronics store and ask resident tech guy about some tech stuff and ask questions.
Join a girl safe kink site and get used to chatting to other girls.
if you can chat to girls easily, then makes it easier with guys.
Also if a guy likes you, being shy will not put him off.
Don't try to "get out of it" but embrace it.
Next time I speak to a girl in the near future and she is really quite super shy but probably very attractive too I imagine? I think I'll ask if she has ever used this app, to ask an anonymous question on it about being shy!
I think you should probably send me a private message so I know what you look like and don't end up walking around like some wandering advert for the GAG app lol.
I think I could at least help you stop being shy and maybe even more super kinky, who knows?
If not, I'm sure you'll get over it with time and practice, I'm also a willing practice subject too? Lol xx
It's definitely something you must work on. I believe it may be a form of social anxiety.
If you really cannot force yourself out of it, it would be best to see a specialist about it.
Just use fetlife or something online
Consider seeing a counselor to work through this, or find a friend who will role-play with you so you can practice making small talk. You might also try online dating. You could post an ad on a fetish site like collarspace. dom but be prepared for hundreds of responses. Just ignore the ones that aren't interesting. Set filters on age and location.
Come on over and fuck me! I'm looking for a way out of this incredible sexless dry spell!!
To be kinky don't mean shit if your not able to talk to people.
Just be patient. Shy girls I've dated tend to be very fun.
I'm sure you're going to rock someone's world.
Have fun.
You sound absolutely perfect to me!
I would love to explore all manner of sexual fun with someone who doesn't have a massive sexual ego, but wants to share a sexual journey together.
How about starting flirting with a guy over text / IM to start with, to build up your confidence and to get to know them before you meet (or after you've met as a kind of follow-up)? You could also take the conversation into a few more 'sexy' topics and I can guarantee you that the guy will be way more persistent!
As a side question, have you tried the things you say you will be willing to do and so know you like them or is it just that you are desperate to try those things?
Hope that helps.
That takes time to get over. Just practice and try to find like minded people
You are kinky because you are shy.
The things you wanted to do , but couldn't do grows inside you a kind of lust and eroticness but you need someone to just push you a bit even though you say no you want them to make you do it.
Its a tough call for guys nowadays nobody wants to take risk.
So it's just one guy is what all it takes to shed out your shell trust me i have seen girls super shy and timid to accept the horniness to act on there thoughts.
Doing threesomes MMF , even going to strangers like they get wings after the first experience.
But choose that first guy abit carefully.
Online dating. Will be much easier to connect and be honest.
Yes you need to get more experience in conversations. Why only say one word? What’s your mind thinking that holds you back?
Try saying more than Hi, I know its difficult as I'm like that as well but if you don't show more interest they may not realize, gals almost have to hit me over the head with a 2x4 as i generally don't notice coy/shy flirts.- or so I've been told.
same, im a virgin with absolutely no self esteem, confidence, and im jus super super unbearably awkward, i think im doomed to die as a virgin, unless u live close and wanna try something? but i doubt u would, girls aren't like that lol
Just say you are shy upfront so they don't take it as sign of disinterest
I’m the same way honestly. I know what to say on apps and online, but when it comes to approaching and talking in person my mind draws a blank lol.
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