Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I faked my orgasms. What do I do now?

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now. He took my virginity and we've had sex +10 times and we did other stuff before it. I faked my orgasms from the very beginning, not always, but most of the times. I can make myself cum and since he's been my only sex partner, nobody else has ever made me cum. I don't think I can come from vaginal sex only and clitoris is very important to my orgasms but I don't think he knows how to work well with it. I do enjoy having sex with him very much but I haven't come close to cumming. I can't tell this to him because it'll crush his ego and make him pretty upset but I want to cum too. What do I do?
0 1

Superb Opinion

  • First of all, stop faking it. Faking doesn’t help either one of you. If you can make yourself cum, then he can make you cum. However, you can’t teach him how when you don’t really know yourself what you need. You discover it by having sex and experimenting. Slow things down, start with him touching and rubbing your clit. See if you can help him find the right motion that feels good to you. Oral sex is usually a winner. Again, give him direction as he’s doing it. If you don’t know what you need, then keep experimenting until you figure out what feels good. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Try different sex positions. For me, being on top and controlling the action helps me cum. There’s also something else I suspect is going on. I never came with my first boyfriend either. The reason is because I was never relaxed and comfortable enough to allow it to happen. Being naked and sexual with someone when that’s not been part of your existence so far can cause anxiety. Nothing he did worked and I would masturbate later to finish. With my second boyfriend, he wanted sex all the time and I just grew comfortable enough with the situation where it started to happen for me. Once it did, it was like I had discovered a new world. So don’t get discouraged if you don’t find success right away. You’re fairly inexperienced here. It may take time and lots of trying before you find what you need and feel comfortable enough sexually to let it happen. Remember, it’s just sex and it doesn’t always have to be perfect.

    • that's true I'm inexperienced. I'll do the things that you said but what do I tell him if he asks why I'm not cumming anymore?

    • I know this might take you out of your comfort zone but tell him the truth. You can’t have deception in a relationship. Always come from a place of honesty. It might hurt his ego a little bit in the beginning but he’ll be eager help you cum. It’s the only way things can change for the better.

    • okay I'll think about it

Most Helpful Girl

  • U need to take control rub ur clit while he is going at it or ask him for oral or buy a toy to use stimulate u during penetration. And tbh u aren't doing him any favors by not telling him bc he has no idea he isn't satisfying u, but u have lead him on thinking he has. This is why I never fake it... he would of asked how cum u didn't cum or what can we do diff, I think if he is concerned about your orgasm. I would recommend having to break it to him.

    • You're right. I realized it late. I tried to stop and I saw how much me not cumming hurt our sex life so I just faked it. I cannot tell him and I do rub my clit during sometimes but it doesn't feel as good as when I'm doing it alone to myself.

    • I would open the discussion and prior to actual sex, cuz it might kill the mood. But babe I enjoy our sex, but I need more stimulation of my clit. I wouldn't say I've been faking it, see if he asks, then I would say the truth. U can kinda take the lead, like would love to feel u rub me there or to try a toy or oral.

    • Certain positions allow me to grind on his pelvis too to stimulate urself, u on top or him on top, maybe a pillow under u for doggy u can grind on too if hand isn't working

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Most Helpful Guys

  • There is no need to tell him that he has failed in the past. But you can teach him how to get you off.

    When he gets near Miss Clitty and you start feeling aroused, you moan and make a big demonstration of how good it feels. "Oh, that's it! So good! Don't stop!" Most men react to feedback and you can't expect him to learn if you don't give it to him.

    From what you have said, I am guessing that he has not given you oral sex. That will give you tons of clitoral stimulation. Do you give him oral sex?

    • so I shouldn't talk to him beforehand?

    • Telling him he has not made you cum won't help to fix the problem and will only make him feel badly. It is unnecessary. So get him to do something different that gets you off and when he sees how strongly you react, he will learn what works and what doesn't. Would you get off from receiving oral sex?

    • yeah I won't tell him. I have never gotten off from it before but I think I can if I were relaxed enough and if he could actually stay on clitoris.

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  • Help him to take ownership of your orgasms. Tell him that now that you are no longer a virgin you are finding it takes longer to orgasm than it did the first few times and that you have discovered a lot of clitoral stimulation really works well. Tell him you'd like to try different positions and techniques that will allow him to give you mind blowing orgasms including where you finger yourself. Also ask him if there are things he'd like you do to to increase his pleasure. It's all about communication.

    • that's very helpful thank you but what do you meant ownership of orgasms?

    • Try to make him feel that your orgasms depend on his love making skills. Tell him what he is doing that feels good so he gets very familiar with your body and ask him if what you're doing feels good to him. If you're in a position that almost brings you to orgasm, ask him to move one way or another to make it perfect for you. For example in the missionary position, you may be able to reach orgasm if he moves into a position that angles his dick upwards inside you to hit your G Spot, or downwards so there is more contact on your clit. Then tell him what he did made you cum so hard that you can't wait for him to do it again.

    • i think i got it thank you ❤️

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 24

  • I recommend that you take control of the positions so that you get the correct amount of stimulation. Communication is very important to ensure both parties are satisfied.

    • I like it more when he's in control. He's generally good in different positions but I don't think I can cum from vaginal sex. I mean I had never experienced it even with myself, only with clitoris.

    • From what I have read a lot of women have issues reaching orgasm from vaginal sex alone. I'd do oral sex and maybe possibly try anal.

    • thank you

  • You need to tell him how you like to be touched. Everyone is different. You can also ask him what and how he likes things done.

    • okay I'll ask him

  • Well, you have two options here. You either:
    A.) Tell him how to get you off and get you to come.

    B.) You will grow to become less interested in sex overall and not as enthusiastic which he probably will notice. Which could cause the relationship to strain snd someone to stray/cheat.

    Open your mouth and tell him what's up. Chances are if he is a good partner he will pit his ego aside and be willing to learn to help you climax.

    • the problem is I don't know how he can make me cum

    • Then train him how to make you cum. Be enthusiastic about it and relax to help him. It will make your relationship with him better

    • okay I'll try thank you

  • Not much u can do that won't let him know u lied lol

    • noooo you're supposed to help meeee

    • How you have made a year long lie of him being able to make u cum imagin 1 year in he told you your not that good at kissing and faked liking it

    • You're right. but we haven't had sex that many times. we started having sex maybe 6 7 months into the relationship and because of Corona we've had a long distance situation so I didn't fake it many times. It's still wrong tho. I know.

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  • You tell him how to please you. I was with a woman for some years ago rarely climaxed from PiV. She needed more and I have it to her. Best sex ever.

    • I know how to please myself but I don't know how he can do it to tbh

    • Manually? Orally? With a vibrator?

    • yeah all those but like how exactly that he can make me cum I don't know

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  • If you fake your orgasms then he won't know that he's doing something wrong. He won't learn what you like and you will continue to be frustrated. Do you both a favor and teach him what you like and how to make you cum.

    • You're right that's why I wanna stop. but I don't know how he can make cum

    • Talk to him. Let him know what feels good. What he can do more of. What he can do less of. One of the things that makes sex so fun is learning what makes your partner feel amazing. Without communication sex is no where near what it could be.

    • during sex or like an actual conversation before it?

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  • I'm sure he's a big boy and can handle your honesty. Talk to him

    • he'll be pretty pissed I lied

    • It'll only get worse the longer you leave it

  • Poor baby... caught in a prison of your own design. Fuck his ego. Tell him he's not going about it in the right way and tell him what you need. What are you going to do.. stay with him for the rest of your life and be a sexual martyr? TELL HIM. His ego is unimportant. He'll get over it if he loves you. If he doesn't, you know what to do.

    • I just think it's not his fault that I have lied to him about it and me telling him the truth will hurt him doubly because I've lied and he hasn't made me cum

    • You don't have to tell him you faked your orgasms. That's not what I'm talking about. You DO have to tell him how to please you. If he asks " have I ever made you cum", then you can tell him whatever you want. But I wouldn't give him an all out "yes"... more like "well, kind of".

    • that's actually helpful

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  • If you can't tell him, then maybe its time to break up.

    • but i really like him

    • Well, you could mention how much you like having your clit licked, but your gonna have to get over not being afraid to ell him.

    • he does lick my clittttt the poor guy does everything

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  • -Tell him more foreplay
    -Finger your ass or whatever sensitive spots that aren't being touched
    -leave

    • we already do plenty foreplayyyy I do sometimes play with my clitoris during sex but for some reason it doesn't feel as good as when I do it alone what do you mean leave? 😂

  • have control over him while sex

    • I like him being in control it makes me more turned on plus the times that I'm in control I don't know how to make myself feel good with him

  • Tell the Truth.
    Either that, or He'll figure it out some other way or He will live with that lie for the rest of His life.

    It will be Crushing, but it's become this way because the Lie grew.

    • I think I can't tell him now but I'm not going to lie anymore

  • As him to try to make you cum just be clitoral stimulation

    • how can I ask that without him doubting

    • Treat it as sex play. Instead of inserting his penis just have him, lick, nibble, suck on, play with, or whatever else he wants to do with your clit.

    • okay I'll try

  • yikes

    • :(((((((

  • You either teach him to get you to have real ones or breakup.

    • but i like himm

    • Then the first ones it.

  • Lay there and ask him to play with you, show him what you like having touched.
    I don’t know about him but that would be the hottest thing a girl could do.

    • okay I'll try that thank you

  • try new positions. you may find one that adjust the situation... if not try to ride him till YOU are satisfied and a bit more till him... i mean if i could have mutiple orgasms...

    • I don't think I can orgasm vaginally

    • if you dont relax you will never orgasm... what about oral sex then... what if he appart off all the rest.. focus a bit on your clit? than can also help...

    • i think that can be helpful

  • Show him how to make you cum with his tongue.

  • masturbation ... teach him how... get him interested in touching it... kissing it... licking it... have him finger you off before sex...

    • he does all of those but for some reason I can't cum I mean when he does it

  • Start rubbing your clit while he fucks you, tell him he is doing fine that just makes it better

    • i do do that sometimes it just doesn't feel as good as when I do it alobe

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