Sexual Relationships
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I'm regularly having casual sex with my son's friend. It's great for me/his friend, but I sometimes feel guilty. Should I stop?

Im regularly having casual sex with my sons friend. Its great for me/his friend, but I sometimes feel guilty. Should I stop?
I've been having casual sex with my son's good friend for the past month and a half (he and my son are both 23 and I'm 45 by the way). On a completely selfish level this is a pretty great thing for us. Neither of us wants a committed relationship (at least right now), we both still want to enjoy sex, and we get along pretty well. Moreover, he's got this chiseled muscular body and is pretty incredible in bed (better than anything I've experienced in an extremely long time). We both know it's never going anywhere beyond non-committed sex hookups so we can just enjoy sex without having to worry about anything else along with it. Additionally, the fact the arrangement is so taboo/'wrong'/can only be known between us makes the sex that much better. Additionally, it's pretty great for my self esteem. I recently got divorced. There was a lot of reasons for this, but my ex husband basically 'threw me away' after he got bored of me/lost any attraction towards me. It made me feel old and undesirable/unattractive. Maybe that's dumb, but it did take a strong hit to my self esteem/confidence. However, having this incredibly sexy much younger guy lusting after me so intensely and absolutely craves to have sex with me over and over and over again (when he could be doing the same thing with any number of hot young girls his age) has given me a huge confidence boost.

With that being said I often do feel pretty guilty about this. I know it would really, really, really bother my son if he ever found out. I never want to do that to him. I've thought many times of stopping (even though I'm really loving it). However, keeping it a secret from him is pretty easy. Moreover, the relationship isn't ever going to go beyond casual sex. Consequently, I think we could do this potentially for a long while without him ever knowing or being affected by it.
Still, I often feel guilty. Should I stop or is it OK to keep this going?
3 7

Superb Opinion

  • Things happen so stupid.. m lol
    What I want to say is... you can think you are hiding well... and unexpected events happen in such a way.. whether it be hearsay or someone who is NOT your son or NOT his friend seeing something... our secrets are revealed..

    Someone happens to be in the right place at the right time.
    You have guilt for a reason. It's because you know that if you were in your son's position you would have very unpredictable feelings if you were to find out your dad was having sex with your friend...

    Why? Because that's how you were taught. You can never be anybody else. The people telling you to not worry, for all you know can be clinical psychopaths, those lacking emotions such as empathy for others.. .. so follow your own gut, and think about what the possible consequences are if your son were to find out.

    But be careful, if you decide to stop and or find a new sex buddy... I mean, I would hope his friend doesn't threaten to blackmail you to continue having sex with him.. or to be vengeful... in such a case... I can't blame you for continuing... but chances are the friend is q decent human being you think?

    You don't need to tell your son if you stop... but if you continue, decide if it would be better for him to find out from your, or somebody else.

    • MHO right here.

    • @Jamie05rhs thanks

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should feel guilty! His “chiseled muscular body” and your unbelievably selfish ego boost aside for a second, you are both betraying your son! I don’t exactly know how guy’s feel about their friends fucking their mothers, but I’m pretty sure it is not exactly appreciated! I know if any of MY friends ever fucked my father I would never speak to either of them again! (But my dad is married to my mom still). If he wasn’t, forgiving him would still be difficult, but either way I would never speak to my so-called “friend” ever again! That level of betrayal just cannot be forgiven, ever! A person who’s THAT selfish, can not ever be trusted with anything, ever. So what is the point in even attempting a reconciliation?

Most Helpful Guys

  • If you feel guilty of doing something. Do you ever think that means you should STOP doing it? Or do you just not have any morals? You have never had anything meaningful in your life just having sex.

    The fact that you KNOW it is wrong and keep doing it and that is what gets you off makes you a even shitter person.

    Why can't you ask him on a date or something? There would be nothing wrong with that.

    You just feel guilty and hate yourself and hate your life and at this point doing worse and worse things is the only thing that gets you off..

    Go back to your suck ass life and stop trolling this website to try and get people to support you and perverts to cheer you on. That is all you have! degenerates like yourself.

    You don't listen to your conscience. What is next? You going to do something illegal because it is wrong? You going to have sex with a animal next? A child? Where does it end with people like you? Since you enjoy doing stuff that is wrong.

    You do feel guilty because you know you're doing something WRONG!!! Making bad decisions I am guessing why you either had your son out of wedlock or got a divorce I am sure that was your fault too. Right?

    Making bad choices all your life why you are such a miserable pile of dog shit

  • You have your answer. You are only searching for validation from others because you feel guilty. You made more than enough excuses on why you want to keep f*cking him. Thats what you want. Even still, pity is a poor excuse.

    In meaningful terms you put your pleasure over that of your son's trust. Your guilt is a clear indicator that you know it is wrong but you must justify it and seek others here to justify it for you so you can continue.

    Whether your son finds out or not you said he would be appalled. So you actively know you're betraying him for your own personal gain. Selfish act aside it's quite disgusting.

    It's kind of disturbing how easily you withhold the truth from your son so you can enjoy pleasure. "They'll never find out so it won't hurt them" is one of the most abusive lines in any kind of relationship.

    Your husband hurt you and moved on now you hurt your son. In fact it's worse, you know how painful your husband's betrayal was and you CHOOSE to do it to your son.

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 69

  • You only have one life and are both consenting adults.

    There's nothing wrong with it except in the minds of the most prudish among us and they complain about everything anyway so enjoy.

    I'm regularly having casual sex with my son's friend. It's great for me/his friend, but I sometimes feel guilty. Should I stop?

  • Sticky wicket, but you're both adults.

    Be cautious. Keep your mouths shut. It's truthfully none of your son's business who his friend has sex with and who you have sex with.

    Taboo sex is always exciting and perhaps, eventually, you'll have a great friendship in awhile after you both go your separate ways. Maybe in a decade you can tell your son. Maybe he already knows and everyone is keeping mum.

    I wouldn't worry about it in any case.

    • This could be one possibility , but he has a right to know if his friend is fucking a family member of his especially his mom

    • @Aakash_Hangargi My son has no business in my sexual life and who my partners are, as I have no business in his, unless I fear for his safety or I think the person is using him. And even with my concerns for his IT IS HIS CHOICE. Sexual matters are private. Doesn't matter if it's his friend or the neighbor next door. As long as this person isn't mistreating or abusing his mother, it is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS... Personal is just that, PRIVATE.

    • Would you be ok if he has sex with one of your friends

    • Show All

  • Honestly, the damage is already done if your son finds out.

    You're on the hook whether you two had sex once or ten times. This will negatively impact your son so since the consequences are locked in, you might as well keep going.

    Stopping and NOT telling him makes no sense, he'll feel even more betrayed. This would be the worst option.

    The best exit ramp is stop and come clean with your son, if you can't do that, don't bother stopping, you're paying the price either way.

    Be safe and good luck.

  • Enjoy yourself dear. You only get one chance in life, so get it while you can.

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/mtj9w2gYzV4

    Try not to get caught. If you do, some day he'll understand.

    • Pervert

  • I just feel sorry for you. I get that your ex-husband was an asshole, and he really hurt you. However, if you have to depend on another person such as your son's friend lusting over you in order to feel confident, you are kind of pathetic.
    You are mature enough to know what is right or wrong, you don't need us to tell you that.

    Would you approve of your son banging a much older lady just for sex or would you prefer him to have a good and loving relationship?

  • What are you going to do when your son finds out about it and announces that he hates your guts and wishes you were dead?

  • You had your fling now call it quits.
    nothing wrong with it legally, but since you feel guilty, obviously you know there’s something wrong there. Reminds me of the time years ago I broke off a relationship, was in a rut, and had a bunch of random hookups. Not a long term solution but a stepping stone to the next relationship

    • But I really don't want to keep it going. Maybe one day I'll want to be in a committed relationship, but that's not something I want right now. However, I still want sex and this arrangement is amazing for all the reasons I've said. We're also making sure we only do it where he'll never catch us/find out So would it be so bad if we kept going?

    • I get it, not bad, you are all adults. Just don’t hurt them. I just think about being 23 and if I knew my mother was fucking my best friend I would have been mortified

  • Some day your son may find out and your relationship with him is ruined! If you had discussed your interest in the friend with your son first, he might have even given his blessing to the two of you enjoying your sexual relationship. But if he finds out now he may feel betrayed.

    • Why would their relationship be ruined over this? I don’t think he has to give a blessing because it’s not a relationship. It’s shameful to discuss something like this, very awkward

    • @nice-girl It's even more shameful to DO it!

  • I think it's only up to you and him I was 15 and a half almost 16
    I was babysitting for a lady when she got home the lady that she was with offered me a ride home I said yes come to find out she lives away two blocks from me we decided to stop at her house first one thing led to another and for one year we would have sex every night I thought it was great she didn't have any kids so I didn't really think anything of it and then one day she told me she was going to get back with her ex I didn't even know that she was married but she introduced me to one of her friends and she was 37 and she had a son my age and there were some times when she had him at her house and I was kind of awkward I even felt kind of embarrassed when I was there because I didn't want him to know we're doing you would to my school but we really didn't know each other that well

    • Thanks for sharing this testimony.

  • Ask yourself this question: if he gets a girl better than you in the next few days, how will you cope?

  • That's embarrassing.

    • Why?

    • Factual, this is something you end and take to your grave. Truly, she for the streets.

  • Sounds ok just be careful and have an exit strategy ready for if your son finds out.

  • I think you can countinue it, but that guy should stop being your son’s friend. It’s not moral to countinue being friends and keep this secret.
    While as for you, you don’t have to tell your son about your sex life.
    A mother is forever while friends come and go.

    • That only makes half sense , He had already intercourse with his friends mom it's way past to do any kind of relationship mending or keep fighting about it They just need to accept it and be ok but it would take time and it really depends on what kind of guy his friend is

    • @Aakash_Hangargi The fact that is the son’s friend makes the situation bad. If it is only a younger guy it’s not so bad as there are no rules for that. He has to go from friend to just someone he know.

    • That is what acceptance comes in , his mom isn't going to stop anyways so why the need to burn bridges it would make it more awkward if considers his mother as individual and understands it things would be less complicated..

    • Show All

  • It might be hard on your son if he learned that and he might break off the friendship but it's a life lesson that cannot be avoided, people want what they want and this is in no way disrespectful or unfair towards him.

    So you do what pleases you as long as you're safe and not being abused but you have nothing to be guilty about.

  • If it’s not broken don’t fix it & if both of you like it keep on liking it.

  • Your son WILL find out believe me. The very best thing you can do is have a plan of action ready for when it does.
    Other than that? Keep on enjoying yourself.

    Out of curiosity.. Who does your son blame for the breakup with your ex husband? If it's him, then you might be able to use that to your advantage..

  • You could have literally picked from a massive pool of guys who aren't your son's friend but you chose to potentially not only ruin your son's friendship but also ruin your relationship with your son. Good job 👍

    • She really done goofed

    • If you think of vulnerability and ease of access it was just an easy pic and not a thoughtful one. The deed is done now so should confess to her son and accept it not with guilty conscience but to just stare it

    • State *

    • Show All

  • You should probably quit. I'd be happy with the confidence boost and move on. If he finds out their friendship might be gone, they might fight or something and he'll feel betrayed by the both of you. I think it's better to stop before it comes to that.

    • But that's only if he finds out. It's not hard to do this without him knowing. And if he never knows he'll never be hurt. However, if the small chance happens that he does find out he'd feel atrocious and humiliated. However, that's probably not even a 3% like hood, and I'm loving this/it's super great for me and his friend. I really, really don't want to quit (and neither does he). But if my son did find out it would be terrible. Again, this is why I'm constantly going back and forth about this

    • Yes, that's how it goes with cheaters too. "As long as he does not find out it's okay right". If he finds out, unlike with a cheater, he'll have to look at you everyday, being reminded of the events that took place.

    • Yes, but (even though I know it would really bother my son) I don't feel like it's the same thing morally. Moreover, there's a super small chance my son will ever find out. Believe me, I've walked through all the scenarios in my head and I'm pretty positive he'll never find out (If you want me to explain it to you I can). There's a chance it could happen, but it's extraordinarily small

    • Show All

  • I don't know you’re in between that friendship and if your son finds out not only will it completely ruin your relationship with him but also they probably would completely stop being friends. You should probably stop. But hey that’s just coming from a 21 year old male with friends who also has a mother.

  • Why stop a good thing just enjoy 💞

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > I'm regularly having casual sex with my son's friend. It's great for me/his friend, but I sometimes feel guilty. Should I stop?