Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I don't think she should have to do something she finds unpleasant, in order to get any orgasms at all, when he's already having orgasms from penetration.
If a woman can only receive orgasm from oral, it's fair for her to receive but not give oral sex, as long as she makes him orgasm somehow (such as by penetration, the most efficient way to make a man orgasm, whereas receiving oral is the most effective way to make a woman orgasm).
What Girls & Guys Said
16 62What's "fair" is unimportant. What is important is what you are both willing to accept in a relationship. If he wants oral sex from you, and you would prefer not to do it, there are only three possible outcomes: you stay together and he goes without, you stay together and you give perform oral sex, or you break up. I do not advise you to stay together if one of you is going to be constantly frustrated or resentful. Sexual compatibility is important. If you can't find a mutually satisfactory arrange, then it's better to just say "We aren't sexually compatible" and separate. Good luck.
Would you be happy receiving oral but NEVER penetration? That's essentially what you are asking for here.
I have no idea the relevance here.
That's what you are considering asking for. To give up one form of sex because you can reach orgasm from another. You're not asking him to give up orgasms, just oral sex. But he's not asking you to give up either. What if he WAS asking the same thing you're asking him? (Essentially giving up one form of sex, intercourse in this case) How would you feel about that?
A guy shouldn't have to manipulate or bargain for oral sex. It should be something you give, take, and enjoy.
No I don't agree with you on that. Much better that the girl in your scenario work toward a more healthy acceptance of her male partner's penis and overcome her irrational squeamishness about having it in her mouth. She should aspire to the kind of healthy acceptance her male partner has for vulva, which leads to his willingness and desire to give her oral pleasure.
*has for her vulva . . .
Sucking a clitoris and sucking a penis are different. Men excrete waste from their penis & they don't even wipe. Women don't excrete waste from the clitoris. Regardless, it's still unfair that the man is getting more orgasms than the woman.
You're failing to mention that giving oral sex to a woman very much involves putting your mouth and tongue on more than just the clitoris. It involves the entirety of the vulva which obviously includes the urethral and vaginal openings. And the fact that urine and menstrual blood and vaginal discharge emanate from those openings doesn't make the vulva "gross." At least not to a person who has a healthy acceptance of the female body.
A typical woman wipes herself down there, but the typical man does not. & This also doesn't change the fact that the man is getting more orgasms.
i think your problem is called penis envy. i didn't believe that it existed but you proved me wrong
The OP is trying to justify her revulsion towards the penis based on some notion of "unfairness" regarding the female sexual response. It's a curious argument from someone who is obviously interested in human sexuality.
@morrowlow what the hell are you talking about?
you're mad that men's bodies is designed in a way that they can easily have an orgasm and you can't. you're kind of jealous. that's the definition of penis envy for you
@morrowlow Women can easily have an orgasm if they receive oral sex. That's the point of this question.
women can also have an orgasm by penetration. if you can't then you should seek help cause normal women have no problem there
I usually just don't look at sex with my partner as fair and not fair.
I just enjoy her and like to do things to her I know she likes. I feel like she is the same way.
Nah. She's enjoying penetration anyway I assume, even if she doesn't orgasm. Also, female orgasms are more intense so male ones don't really compare. Plus most of intercourse is mechanically done by the man anyway, so why should the woman just get to lie there the whole time while the guy performs?
Sex wouldn't be fun if only one side gets something that they enjoy. Oral isn't always the best way to pleasure the female genitalia. Each woman is different. I've met multiple that flat out did not enjoy oral on them whatsoever from anyone they have been with, both male female and/or anything in between. Some just like fingers, some actually get off very well from penetration, etc. Based on the alignment of the clitoris, as it is the "pleasure buzzer" and where most pleasure comes from; if it's close enough to the vulva entrance, penetration could be rather effective for them. Again though, each woman is different, the general layout is the same, but the details are different, like a car. They are all unique pieces.
Again, it just wouldn't be right to deny something in sex purely because they have another way of getting off. It just isn't fun. If you love them, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just do it if it doesn't hurt you, etc.
So you're saying it's fair for the man to expect extra orgasms (via a method she finds unpleasant), in order to give the woman even a single orgasm?
You are not speaking experience, rather than someone else's. You honestly cannot compare to my own personal experience in this category as a virgin. Sex is not cut and dry. It isn't just about an orgasm. It can be about bonding, fun, and there are things that the parties in question can find unpleasant. But once again, if having sex with a lover, you do things for them that you don't like that they enjoy because you love them and want to please them. I've never been in a relationship, but at the very least, I understand this concept because this is what having family is like too. You make compromises and want them happy because seeing them happy, makes you happy. Sacrifice.
"if having sex with a lover, you do things for them that you don't like that they enjoy because you love them and want to please them" you can also say that to the guy who will only give oral if his girlfriend gives him oral
I would, but I'm only replying to your responses because they are on my opinion. People can be ignorant and selfish if they want. If he has a girlfriend, I'm sure she knows how he is.
E. I give oral because I (really) want to. It's not conditional on anything. But if I knew (as with my SO) oral was her only route to orgasm, I'd try even harder.
If we're counting fairness, does that mean men must stop stimulating women who can have multiple orgasms before they have a multiple, to keep things fair? Or if she orgasms 3 times, does that mean I then fuck her 3 times before she gets oral again?
What if she likes kissing then oral, is that two acts, so I can pick two acts? Why does the number of acts matter?
Maybe it's more fair to spend similar amounts of time on each other? If one partner wants oral, then more oral, well that's there choice, but if the other wants half one act half another, it doesn't mean they're being spoiled.
Realistically, if she's not enthusiastic about sex or oral and basically views any sex act on me as something she has to do in exchange for oral, I don't want to have sex with her, even if she's willing to trade. That's terrible.
yeah, how dare she expect mutual pleasure
Who said anything about not having mutual pleasure? Mutual pleasure is fantastic. For the record I've given way more oral than I've received. I enjoyed giving it all, but tbh, I've had really selfish partners that I regret not moving on from. But your idea of fairness and balance here is very … odd.
it's odd to think that if a man is having orgasms, so should the woman?
No? I'd much, much prefer everyone orgasms. And if her favorite or only way of orgasming is oral, i'm happy to include that every time. But me enthusiastically wanting to get her off every time in her favorite way doesn't equate to 'now I get off in one way only of her choosing which she's acting/showing like she'd rather not do at all and i'm supposed to consider this a great sex life' Me getting an orgasm is not a binary indicator of whether it was good or not. I've had orgasms and immediately wished i'd never done it and hated the experience.
I think I've figured part of this out. You seem to be thinking the guy would get an orgasm from oral and then another from sex and she'd just get one from oral? I mean that's not usual. it's more likely there's oral on both, he doesn't orgasm, she does, sex, he does, she maybe does depending on how much she likes sex (i'd actually say a common scenario for people I've spoken to is oral on him, oral on her till she orgasms, sex with her clit being rubbed till she orgasms, sex continues till he orgasms). You realize a -lot- of the oral men are getting is as foreplay, not to orgasm, right?
I do everything which give my girlfriend mind blowing orgasm, no matter it's her vagina inner or outside, her underarms, her anal hole i kiss or suck every inch of my girlfriend which give her real taste of sex or orgasm because I want she miss everytime me when she is alone at bed 🛏 💕 💕 💕 💕
Penetration isn't the most effective way to make a man orgasm, it's just one that works. But I think it's fair to expect it back
So if the woman wants any orgasm at all, it's fair for the man to demand extra orgasms via a method she finds unpleasant?
You keep throwing around this "she finds unpleasant" as if sticking your tongue on one of the most bacteria ladened places on a woman is any more pleasant. Maybe they shouldn't have sex then if that's such an issue. They can just both do oral. by the way, performing oral on a woman isn't as easy as performing it on a man. He has to work a lot harder to make her cum than she has to work.
I did a poll last week & the vast majority of men said they enjoyed giving oral from the very first time, but most women said they didn't enjoy it How long did it take for you to enjoy GIVING oral sex? ↗
By your own poll the majority of women said as some point they started to enjoy it. The largest demographic being from the 1st time
Plus less women answered your poll anyway, that skews percentages
Never expect anything in return.
If my partner is not interested in my pleasure besides her own, she is not the right partner for me.
No amount of giving can change that.
She DOES care about your pleasure. That's why she gives you orgasms (during penetration). You're the one who doesn't care about her pleasure besides your own, if you expect her to give you extra orgasms, in order for you to give her a single orgasm.
Just to put things right: I really enjoy giving oral and I am pretty good at it. Its just when its everytime only about her, I get frustrated over time.
I would give oral and I would like to get oral i mean fair is fair in my opinion but u can't force her to suck ur dick but I've had a girl say i dont dont do that and i said i don't like to do it either but i still do it and she gave me head then I gave her head but her pussy smelled so bad I litterally only ate her outt for 1 sec I almost threw up
"I would give oral and I would like to get oral i mean fair is fair" and giving an orgasm, when she's given you an orgasm, is also fair.
Yes that's fair in my opinion if you do something to me I'll do it back to you and vice versa I'll gladly eat you out even if I don't like it but I'll do it just for the record I do enjoy it just not if she has stinky pussy lips she has to be clean just like the guy
It's fair but neither should have to do something they don't enjoy doing. Even if it is the only way to make her orgasm, that doesn't mean he will enjoy performing oral sex. It's not his fault that you can't orgasm. If all this is an issue, then don't have sex.
First I REALLY dislike receiving oral, and to ask someone to do something that they don't like is fine, demanding it is another thing.
But sexually demanding an act that you won't do yourself is just selfish. If someone finds something pleasurable exchanging pleasure should be a gift. To say that they orgasm by... and that should be enough... his response could be that masturbation gives you an orgasm so that should be enough. Would you find that fair and equitable? Of course not. Why is it okay for you to put those kinds of demands on him?
"masturbation gives you an orgasm" that's stimulation she's giving *herself*. It doesn't compare to stimulation that they're giving each other.
And oral is the same as penetration for a guy? No, it's not.
They're both stumulation achieved in sexual activity with a partner (not by oneself)
You asked my opinion, I've given it. Sounds as if you are trying to justify your decision. I'm not your partner, you. do not need to convince me.
I wouldn’t expect it in return but I love giving oral... That said I view oral as an appetizer for me I don’t typically want to finish in her mouth... Are you willing to give oral as long as he doesn’t cum in your mouth? Might be an acceptable compromise
Orgasm if what objective is..
So if she needs oral. She gets it..
And I can stick with penetration only
It's up to the man to do what he wants and the woman to do what she wants. If this isn't mutually acceptable, they has no right to demand the other person does something they don't want to.
It doesn't matter the makeup of the relationship, no one has the right to demand someone does something they don't want to.
I wouldn't require oral in return for oral. If I'm already having orgasms, then it's unfair to expect the woman to perform an extra unpleasant activity, if she wants to orgasm at all.
You should never expect something from someone. I'd perform oral just because I want her to feel good also.
I think "Treat others as you want to be treated" applies to sex as well. If my partner gives me oral and I enjoy it, why would I deny him the same pleasure? It's not right.
So why can't a man say to himself "if my partner gives me *an orgasm* and I enjoy it, why would I deny her the same pleasure? It's not right."
And you think every man is like that? If he's not willing to make her enjoy, then he's a selfish man and a bad lover.