Is a man pleasuring himself basically cheating?

Sometimes when turn down my husband in a night, after asking multiple times, he goes into the bathroom and does it with Jill. It makes me feel betrayed, it's like he's married to his hand.

Is a man pleasuring himself basically cheating?
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Wow talk about victim blaming. I should be thankful he isn't cheating?
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Superb Opinion

  • Woah, he's jerking it, if he snuck another woman in the bathroom for both of them to give each other handjobs and she, I don't know, vanishes through the wall after, that would be different.

    Unless he's jerking it to the point where it interferes with your intimacy, but even then that's not cheating, that's messing with your relationship, but not cheating. A woman can do the same desensitizing herself by overusing a vibrator.

    I'd never accuse my wife of cheating on me with her hand, rubbing her legs together or using a vibrator though, with or without porn. I'd accuse her of cheating if there's another person involved.

    That is a necessary pre-requisite to cheat, another person, even if you want to go for the "emotional" cheating angle.

Most Helpful Guy

  • No, its not cheating, he is by himself.

    Also why are you naming his hand "Jill" (or anything at all for that matter) and acting like its not just part of your husband? Thats just weird.

    You're not a victim, you are denying him sexual interaction and he's horny.

    All men masturbate, be nice to him or you will drive him away and ruin your relationship. If you don't want him jerking off ever, you are going to have to give him either sex, handjobs, or blowjobs whenever he asks. But asking him to just ignore his sex drive is unreasonable.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Nah there's nothing wrong with masturbating especially if you are turning him down.

    Only time I'd consider it wrong is if you were willing to have sex and he chose to masturbate instead of being with you

  • If you think that masturbation is the same thing as cheating you are clearly not mature enough to be in a relationship in the first place.

    • @quackthulu2 you nailed it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

16 32
  • I think sometimes guys are afraid to admit to their girls that they are horny. I take care of myself 3 or 4 times a day, so I'd be rather shy to ask her to satisfy me that many times. I have dated girls with a higher sex drive before who knew about my sexual needs. I took care of them if they took care of me, lol.

    If you feel betrayed, maybe tell him you want to have sex with him, even if you don't, or you could ask him if you could watch or maybe even give him a hand job. Sex is a human need and people go crazy if they can't get a sexual release.

    • 3 or 4 times a day? When do you find time to work?

    • @Daniela1982 It's basic math, 2 times in the morning and once or twice at night, lol. I have a high sex drive.

    • holy crap!

    • Show All
  • If you turn him down you are not performing your wifely duties. So he has to take care of the matter himself. So no, it is not cheating if it is just with Mr. Hand.

    Is a man pleasuring himself basically cheating?
    • okay Mr Bill.

    • @exitseven 🤣😅😂

  • Is a man pleasuring himself basically cheating?Is a man pleasuring himself basically cheating?
  • No, masturbating isn't cheating. It's only cheating if he involves another person. But it's not wrong for him to take care of his own sexual needs. He respects that you do not want to have sex that night, so he takes care of it himself.

  • not at all, he is touching himself no one else.

  • You said no. What do you want? If my boyfriend said no, I'd probably go masturbate too, right next to him in bed too to make him feel bad. Luckily my boyfriend's not dumb enough to say no unless he's like sick or something.

    • That's not the same. If a guy says no usually he's cheating, has PIED, or is depressed, so he needs to fix himself up.

    • If I had a girlfriend, and I said no, and she started masturbating next to me, I would not feel bad, I'd get turned on and change my mind.

  • So if he is feeling sexually needy and you reject him, he is simply supposed to suffer in silence? What do you expect him to do? And why do you have that expectation?

  • Bish, no? What da faq?

  • If you turn him down he can do whatever he wants with himself...

  • Eh? Not at all. I encourage him too. He always tells me when is

  • No not at all. Men have more testosterone they get horny more than women. Its just physical. Same when they watch porn dont take it personally. It has no emotional concept to it. Just make a move on him when he does that and I'm sure things will change.

    • @Spongebobsocks Great insight for you to have at 20. I had the best sex life/relationship with a girl in my 20's and she was also in her 20's (she 22/me 26) We had that kind of 'understanding' of each other, and took that into consideration when it came to our physical relationship. Sad to say, I never had another relationship with another woman since that, and for whatever reason many people feel that their 'mates' masturbation is some kind of "betrayal" or being unfaithful , when nothing could be further from the truth. She and I both masturbated when we felt like it, and it was understood that was part of our individual sex drive/need/etc. etc.

    • I wish to hell that I had married her.

    • Thank you for your compliment! Yeah communication is key to understanding. I'm sure you'll find someone though:)

    • Show All
  • I don't think so.

  • You said no, what do you expect. It's his hand or another woman. Be lucky it's his hand.

    • For him to go to sleep.

    • Why? I don't have to suppress my urges because you have none. If you like eating pizza and I don't are you expecting me not to eat it again?

  • This relationship sounds sad af.

  • That's ridiculous. xD

  • No its not. I'm in a long distance relationship and I would hope my guy does it with his hand vs someone else.

  • No different than when a women does the same thing to herself.

  • It's not cheating.

  • Cheating comes down to the dynamics of the relationship. In some relationships screwing some stranger in the bathroom of a club is fine, in others pleasuring yourself seems to be cheating.

    But these rules should be agreed between the partners, not dictated. Just unilaterally deciding that masturbating is cheating is a form of dominant behavior. At that point you should just get into male chastity cages and lock it away.

  • Ehm what? So to jurk off is cheating for some people huh? Crazy World we live in

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