Is it possible that a boyfriend rapes his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

My friend told me that's not cause he is your boyfriend and he is the only one who is allowed to have sex with you.
My boyfriend and I had sex and he wanted to try anal ( we once talked about it and i said no) I'm disgusted even of the thought of it.
Last time while having sex he changed the position and tried to enter my asshole. I SHOUTED NO and tried to push him back. He pushed my shoulders down and said" we should try something new so our sex life won't get boring. And I'm your boyfriend anyways so you should at least try it for me." I really didn't even want to try it but he kept pushing me down and penetrate. It hurted so badly and I laid there frozen in shook.
i told my "friend"about It and she said that it was just a misunderstanding. And you tried it so now you don't have to do it again. He didn't rape you because you were already in the act."
she once even told me a man can't penetrate if a woman doesn't want it. (That would speak against EVERY rape victim but that's another story)
I broke up with him after that. The next step is to go to the police but she said that it will do nothing cause of the pints she stated earlier.
Am I wrong? Am I overreacting? Was it just a misunderstanding?

[Analinda1999]

this 'frien'd is more of an enemy. dump your friend and go to the police,. she has no excuse to be this ignorant. does that even SOUND like it makes sense. he can do what he wants bc he's your bf?

He may be the only one ALLOWED to have sex with you when you both want it. That does but it doesn't mean he's allowed against YOUR will.

No one has a right to force you to do anything , people fought long and hard for this. you clearly said no and tied to get him off of you. Go to the police. He will do it again to someone else, he needs to know its not ok or legal. something is seriously wrong with him.

I wonder, was he normal then suddenly became psychotic , is this just how a lot of people think.

Really sorry for what happened, its actually one of the reasons i dont want a boyfriend. you never now what a person really thinks the would should operate, then shit happens.

[CrayonQueen]

That's definitely rape and if you were uncomfortable in that situation the best thing to do is go to the police. Your "friend" is the one at fault here, I mean you said she spoke about that way against every rape, how could she have her story straight about relationship rape. If you google search your situation you'll find many similar rape stories, because it's rape. Do what you need to do to get better and find justice for yourself, because in no way are you over reacting.

[elone]

It's rape. No doubt about it.
It's like asking if murder is okey if you knew the person well and you "thought" it was what they wanted. They just screamed no in the act because they where afraid to take the step themselves..
If you want to go to the police you should! If you haven't showered since the rape you should have DNA evidence.
He need to know he did something wrong and rethink getting a new friend because it seems she isn't trying to understand you.

[TripleAce]

I don't see how people seem to get sexual with their partners and can't even say no or literally get up and walk away

Like what kinda relationship do you even have to begin with. The signs are all there yet you still decide to jump in bed with him

Ya its rape --> ya its not your fault and no is no but gosh. Stupidity at its finest from women though. Big time
And you didn't 'really' want it so you kinda did but not really

Cmon for god sakes. Such bullshit
it seems like so many potential rape cases are such grey zones. And thats because it really is stupidity on the women's part

[CrayonQueen]

It's not that simple, the situation is similar to being raped by a family member. You probably to love them (as a family member) but you're conflicted because of something they did. And you yourself know you don't want it but that confliction stops you from walking away.

[TripleAce]

@CrayonQueen so then is it really rape if you don't feel strong enough to walk away? Isn't rape a feeling rather than an act I mean a women can like the act of rape. Some do. And its not considered rape because she doesn't feel raped

[Asker]

He NEVER was abusive or disrespectful towards me. He acted really kind all the time. We just talked about sex and what we like. He said he wants to try anal and I said I don't. That's it. It seemd like that he accepted it. It was really unexpected for me that he forced me into it. It's not like saying no and walk away he is way stronger than I am. Wth

[CrayonQueen]

Of course it's still rape. I'm not sure if you've heard of the fight or flight response when you were small. Now physiology is teaching us that it's actually fight flight or freeze. You can fight against it and say no or push them away, you could just leave, or sometimes if you're so shocked your body enters into a paralyze like mood and even if you try and scream for help you just can't seem to move.

[TripleAce]

Well what happened after this "Last time while having sex he changed the position and tried to enter my asshole. I SHOUTED NO and tried to push him back. He pushed my shoulders down and said" we should try something new so our sex life won't get boring. And I'm your boyfriend anyways so you should at least try it for me." You didn't tell us what you said to him. Cause you already said NO but yet still stayed there? Like why. Why didn't you say ill report you for rape if you try it again or ill scream if you don't stop or do scream or grab his balls and break them or literally a millions things you can do but sit there and take it like he has a gun to you

[TripleAce]

@CrayonQueen no i don't believe women are fragile little dolls that always seem to suspiciously 'freeze' up in times like this

[CrayonQueen]

Well it's not just women who do it it's men too. And besides it's not just moments like these in which this happens. I'm sure you've seen spider-man where a child is about to get ran over and the mom screams at him but he just stands there looking at the truck. If not for spider-man he's be dead. That was the freeze response where his body just stopped and many people who are being raped experience this as well.

[TripleAce]

@CrayonQueen ya i know what the response is That would impy she is afraid for her life

[Asker]

Of course I told him to stop multiply times and I Left right after that happend. I cursed him out and more. I tried to stop him but he pushed me down. I told him that I'm going to report his ass and the list goes on. I could hve written a whole roman about that night but I just wanted to give a short summery about what happend so I would get more opinions cause some people don't bother reading when it's too long. Believe me it would be a 5x times longer Text if I wrote down every single word. Anyways respecting your opinion.

[TripleAce]

Well you hahe to expect cross examination No one will take you just for your word. They will question you and try to find cracks. And if they do is just weakens the case So if you sound so confident hers then why so not confident in your question? "Am I wrong? Am I overreacting? Was it just a misunderstanding?" ?

[Asker]

Cause of my friend. Normally we are really close and stuff but with her statement she gave me the feeling that I was and am overreacting. That why I'm asking if it's true.

[TripleAce]

So you don't know the definition/meaning of rape?

[Asker]

Ok nevermind I'm tired. I know what rape is but she made me insecure with her statement that he was my boyfriend and that we were already in the act. I didn't know if the police/ court would be really on my side. I wouldn't ask if I knew it 2 100%. Like I already stated: I wanted to report him but my friend made me insecure so I'm asking strangers what their views are. End of story

[TripleAce]

Usually with anal sex you can't really get it in if you first aren't relaxed. And if there isn't lube of some sort You can't just shove a dick in. It won't even go in most of the times It takes so much effort to get it in even when she agrees sure u layed there frozen while having anal sex. Most girls do But what about before? Did u let him?

[TripleAce]

Ill tell you what i think after this

[Asker]

What do you mean by do you let him? Just getting in? No.

[Asker]

Well I guess you don't have to believe me

[TripleAce]

What do i mean? I was pretty clear there Anal sex isn't just shove it in or it would be a bloody rape scene if that was the case You have to be relaxed for it to even go in Its all in my last post lol U being extra confused here woupd be suspicious to a jury and will weaken your case

[Asker]

Oh Lord... English isn't my first language German is and I wasn't sure if I gave you the answer to your question so I asked again. Where is the problem? But nevertheless it seems like that you are saying that it's almost impossible to rape me if it's anal soooo.. believe what you want

[TripleAce]

It's just what would happen if a lawyer cross examines you... And I'm not even a lawyer I don't think legally you can prove much, but you can try. And there is many holes in your story It is rape... rate can happen even with married couples

[phoenix5142832]

You should report him to the police and follow through with that. DON'T listen to the complacent people around you. You didn't consent to the act, as far as I can tell. If he forced you and you couldn't get out of it when you tried to, and you made it clear to him that you didn't want any part of it, you have to report him, because he may do the same to someone else. Take action.

[phoenix5142832]

If you don't do anything about it, it's like you've agreed to this being Okay for it to have happened to you. Don't sell yourself short for the sake of somebody else's sexual misconduct going unpunished. He deserves it. I really hope that you take action because you're liable to regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. People like him deserve to be in prison. Fight for yourself now to redeem yourself for when you couldn't.

[Justacatlady]

Doesn't matter at what point you say it. When you say no, the sexual act is no longer consensual. By him proceeding to do what you vehemently said no against is rape.

[Gemmyy]

No you are not over reacting at all.
He did not have your consent, you told him no & he still forced himself on you in that way.
I’m so sorry that you were out through that.

[Gemmyy]

Put*

[random56286]

If you say NO and he doesn't comply, that is rape. You are under no obligation to have sex.

Beyond that, people go to trial and lawyers distort to truth so unless there is video evidence, it's his word against hers.

[I_Know_I_am_Sexy]

Yes it can be considered as rape (the court will have to decide)!
Yes you can and you should go and report it to the police.

Even if married rape is still rape and the victim can/should report the rapist !!!

[jacquesvol]

(the court will have to decide)... meaning twelve bigots decide if she's a hoe hoe merits that.

[I_Know_I_am_Sexy]

No ! Meaning I'm not keen on laws and the way it's conducted in all and every country in the world. That's why court, a judge or what ever will have to decide. Moreover why would my opinion or what I have to say about it count more than the one of twelve other people? And why do you have to insult her?

[jacquesvol]

@I_Know_I_am_Sexy "Meaning I'm not keen on laws" Noted. Thus not on laws prohibiting rape either? Rather the ignorant jury than the laws?

[I_Know_I_am_Sexy]

@jaquesvol Not everything nor everywhere it's left to a jury to decide. It might be the case where you live. But in other countries it's only a judge or some times a court of 3 or 5 judges depending of the crime.

[jacquesvol]

@I_Know_I_am_Sexy Over here, juries decide only about guilt , in cases of murder 1 and similar. Much less than in the US thus.

[snowshy]

Your friend is an idiot, not a friend at all and you need to report this man to the police. You told him you didn't want to and he did it anyway - that is rape. It doesn't matter if he's your husband, boyfriend, a casual date or a stranger, it is still rape if you do not consent.

Report him!

[AzureGirl]

You were raped.

It doesn’t matter if the person is a stranger, a SO, or your spouse. Relationship status doesn’t override consent. You gave no consent. He forced you. That’s rape.

[fauchelevent]

Sounds like rape to me. Anyone can rape anyone, regardless of the relationship they had prior.

[SleepySenpai]

If you're not giving consent to have sex, then it is most likely considered rape.

[20yearsolder]

Absolutely, no means no. Even if you are in a relationship

[jimyee]

That's certainly a form of rape, it's much harder to take legal action against but you should at least meet with an officer.
Husbands or boyfriends cannot do what ever they want, women are not their sex dolls.

[Malcom_Reynolds]

Anyone is allowed to say no at any time. It doesn't matter if you're together, married, or paid, you still can say no. And if that is not respected, then it's rape.

[Caaarl]

Nope that's rape. If you don't want to have sex and he forces you down to have sex that's rape. The point you don't consent it's rape. Doesn't matter if you're a guy or you're in a relationship with a person. Sex without consent is rape.

[Grandbarmy]

Consent can be revoked against anyone at any time. The second you say no, with a stranger or your partner, before or during the act, if they do not respect that you do not consent then it is rape.

[hasrett]

Yup it's rape. Him being your boyfriend doesn't make him the owner of your vagina.
You're not and you're not overreacting. He forced you into something you said you don't want to do.

[martsa]

No. You are not wrong. You did the right to go the police. That was some shitty thing your ex did. He should have respected your wish and boundaries! It's your own body after all you decide what to do with it. Not somebody else.

[jacquesvol]

Date rape happens daily.
And then others say it's the girl who's at fault.

[jacquesvol]

And beagle eating cops will ask her how long her skirt was and how many boyfriends she has had. The defense lawyer will ask in public in which position her cherry was popped by her first boyfriend and if she ever told a boyfriend she wanted sex and how many abortions she had.

[jacquesvol]

And all that will be in the local newspaper.

[yourdarksecretx]

Nah... the asshole deserved it

[GhostofDemise]

yes, it is very possible

[GhostofDemise]

if you said no to it, and he forced you to do it anyway, it is categorized under rape, and you can go to the police, tell them the whole story, regardless of how embarrasing it might be, the more they know, the better they can help you

[Raajk1995]

Well it's a rape and also unnatural sex without your permission. So you can go to police. But don't know how is the law in your country and how will people, your family, others will react to it.

[gobsmacked3]

no means no- pure and simple

the sad aspect if you want to take it further is the shades of grey that come into play with you being a couple. which would make it tough if you want to press charges.

the bottom line is the guy is a disrespectful bellend. and you should tell him to fuck off for it is obvious he has no respect for you