I just find it really disrespectful for a guy to look at porn when we're in a relationship. I'm not a prude, I just really hate porn, I find disgusting. There is no love in porn and love is what makes sex good.
We always make excuses for men because of biology but I really don't see it. Men don't have to rape women when they see the a leg exposed, they do have control. I really don't think men have to look at porn, it's just a choice.
Maybe I expect too much in return for my unconditional loyalty.
Is it really too much to expect a guy not to look at porn while in a relationship with you?
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What Girls & Guys Said
95 256Ehh, its just porn. Unless its child porn or bestiality its fine with me.
I've other things to worry about than him whacking his tater to porn.
When I was a younger teenager, I used to hate porn.
I hated the thought of my crush or guys I was interested in, watching porn.
But later, I realized porn isn't a bad thing at all.
As long as you don't watch something illegal and as long as nobody is hurt by it.
When in a relationship I don't see a problem with watching porn, as long as you don't dismiss sex with your partner in order to watch porn.
It's something you do with yourself and can even be healthy.
Porn is just visual stimuli while masturbating.
Men are visual creatures, which is why most men use porn when they masturbate.
There's also the fact men need to cum, otherwise, it's uncomfortable for them.
Instead of denying someone porn, it's best if you find someone who shares the same feelings as you, someone who automatically, wouldn't watch porn while in the relationship.
That, or learn to accept it.
You should be happy that you're man has enough of a sexual appetite that he is watching maybe trying to get some ideas to better satisfy you please don't try to deny that you don't have any fantasies on on your bucket list... maybe you should have power yourself and try watching with you on man find something that you both intrigued by and maybe try it
Again, it depends on the man and his situation in his own life.
In this case, the answer is let him be. If he has this need it's for a reason. It's his way to not go anywhere else or calm some needs. Maybe you are not providing enough to him and he is not putting pressure on you, so don't start putting pressure on him.
If you love him and are loyal, then you should start studying why HE looks at porn and see what you can do to make him focus more on you. The only thing I see if a little girl mad because jealous, grow up.
Well first off understand men's sex drive is different than your own. Love isn't necessary for sex drive in men. Men sometimes resort to hookers, so that should show you a thing or two. Men's sex drive feels like hunger, like a need. But the hunger does not need to be satisfied for a man to survive obviously, but with this feeling of a need, it becomes very hard to resist or even unrealistic for some men when there's such a high level of pleasure readily available in just a few clicks of a mouse/ presses on a screen.
That being said I don't think what you're asking is extremly unreasonable. A man can go without it, and can get off to you if he needs to get off when you're not around. But just be understanding of how our brains are wired differently. The average man can't go without masterbation completely. Some can like in the nofap community but that usually takes men a long time. It's an addiction. It's hard to give up just because you love someone. It usually feels more good than the negative consequences feel bad. This is the basis of addiction, why meth addicts do it even as it tears then apart and tears them away from everyone they love.
Well, I don't think men and women are as different as people think. Men are just taught to be jerks about it.
We're mentally wired extremely differently. I think we're more different than society wants us to think. This is coming from a guy who's grown up with four sisters and a good amount of female friends, I've got lots of personal experience with both genders. I would look into it a little bit. I would not try to force my beliefs on you. But I can very definitely say male and female attraction is not the same. Men are much more visual. You almost always only ever find one gender that's willing to pay for sex, or porn.
I don't believe everything I'm fed by what 'they' say.
I feel the same way as you. When I'm in a relationship, I do not want my boyfriend watching porn. But I've never had to worry about that, thank god.
So if he asked you to give up something too, you'd be fine with it? like makeup or reality tv for example?
Lucky you sis!
@nukkinfuttzz You are comparing makeup and reality tv with watching naked people have sex lol What's next " would you give up your family?" lolol
You are lucky <3 I will one day find a guy who doesn't look at porn as a need. Except i'm not even looking right now so it's whatever right now.
This whole app is about opinions... i have one... you don't like it? Tough. 😂
@nukkinfuttzz are you replying to my comment? Because it seemed like you were only asking questions rather than an opinion.
I don't mind my boyfriend watchng porn at all. Even thought we live together we don't always get to have sex anytime we want because he's considerate that my teenager lives in the house too. When his needs cannot be met, he watches porn to take care of it himself. I do the same thing, if I am horny and not able to have sex - I take care of it myself and sometimes watch porn to help it along. Everyone has their preference on what they want to do or not. I have to ask sinc eyou said love it waht makes sex good, love is not always involved when sex takes place but yet the sex can be amazing. When my boyfriend and I have sex, I am not thinking of love - I am lusting after him and we will get in the heat of the passion. So I am not understanding how you think love and sex pertain to man (it's commong knowledge that these normally don't go hand-in-hand with guys, this is normally a girl thing)
Eh I watch porn it helps me out there's various aspects if it that I like and that's that, I don't care if he watches porn, it's when he watches porn and we could be doing something sexual together e. g. waits till I fall asleep then watches it when we could easily have sex or something along those lines, that's when it turns wrong in my opinion
All the men I know watch porn, including my husband. I don't think its a big deal, but that's me and we have been married for 21 years.
If it is a deal breaker for you, then move on but I doubt you will change him. Generally, you kind of have to accept people for who they are or not accept them and move on without them.
I totally agree with you. All the men who are responding negatively need to just calm down. If that what you want then your boyfriend should abstain, if he actually cares about you. Men think that we should let them watch porn, but how happy would they be if thier girlfriend watched porn?
99% of us actually wouldn't care at all.
That's 200% ok with me , I don't even care
@TonyRyanAgain. 99% huh? Are you sure about that statistic? 99% the men I know would care. But then the men I know are decent, have self control, and believe that a relationship is more than a sex outlet. When your in a relationship you have to compromise. So if her boyfriend won't give up porn, maybe they need to break up. Some couples watch it together. But if one partner doesn't like it, then they need to work it out, and if it's a deal breaker then they should break up
I agree. Trying to control your partner isn't right. You don't like it? Move on, don't restrict your partner or try to change them. Porn doesn't make you indecent or a bad person, that's a toxic way of looking at it.
@TonyRyanAgain Good. I mean porn is kinda toxic. Lots of studies have proven this. The latest (that I've heard of) is the 'Porn Kills Love' one which is both a movement and study
I mean, maybe if they're excessive with it. But moderation is key with everything in life.
@TonyRyanAgain. I disagree. But let's just say we'd never date and leave it at that 😂
I'm fine with that. Controlling partners are basically abusive so have fun. 👌
@TonyRyanAgain Mutally agreement is not controlling
Okay but what are you doing? If he gives up porn will you give up all the romance crap?(because that's porn for women (and if I may be honest, most that I have been forced to see are really disrespectful towards men) Are you going to have sex with him every single time he wants it without complaint? The fact is men DO have higher sex drives then women, this is an absolute fact. Now to be fair I do understand why you don't like it, and its not particularly healthy for a guy if he indulges in it to often. Historically porn was not as common and men got by HOWEVER women where expected to put out if he wished it, unquestioningly (baring various circumstances of course). So demanding he not relieve his sexual urges in this manner does require that you provide him an alternative (not saying you are not just pointing it out).
"love is what makes sex good"
memegenerator.net/.../...like-your-opinion-man.jpg
Astria, for guys live and sex do not equate. I work to help girls, boys, men, and women get out of the porn business they were forced into for most in this industry have been Sex Trafficked into it. I fight this Industry everyday, close one down another opens.
My question to you is did you know this about him when you started dating him? If so, it's obviously not a deal breaker for you. See men know from the get go with me that's a deal breaker, and if I see porn on their phone or other devices I will confiscate those devices and investigate the porn because 98% of porn is minors under 15. Not just under 18, but under 15.
Many men release once or twice a day. Are you prepared to have relations that often? Also, fantasies are part of sexuality. Are you ready to explore his dreams and imaginings with him and will you share yours with him?
Looking at erotic material together is one way to defuse this issue. Sure he may fantasize about being with the woman in a picture for a minute, but he is WITH YOU. You can also imagine another man in your bed. He may even entertain this fancy with you.
As long as it’s all imaginary and there are no lies or cheating, what’s the harm? The one point I would make is that imagining doing something often leads to acting on it. You would both have to be clear that you wanted this to remain unreal.
~JSmith
It is not too much to ask at all. I never want to loom at porn when I have a lovely lady instead. The personal connection is so much better than anything else. Porn is just the consolation prize for single guys or guys who hate their girlfriends.
Personally I don't really care if my guy looks at porn or not.
Women think they own the word, ‘love’. Maybe your boyfriend loves huge porn tits?
There is no real food in your tv when you watch the food network but I bet your azz is watching people make cupcakes on tv.
You are just super insecure and instead of fixing YOUR problem you want to find a way to control your boyfriend and limit his exposure to seeing other women naked.
From a man’s POV, we can like the way a wide range of body types look. And if all you have are looks, you lost already because that’s not why a guy is in love with you. It’s just (maybe) his basic requirement for letting himself fall for you. But your personality and how you treat people has way more to do with how he feels.
And yeah, you do sound like a prude. Don’t try to control what others do or say you know what sex is all about. To a man, sex and love are not the same thing. And if a guy said, ‘I want to make love to you’, 90% chance thar his woman would laugh in his face.
Well first of all, biologically men get horny easier and more often than women statistically, this is a naturap process so that the man is able to reproduce whenever the woman has an egg ready, its why men have to constantly produce semen, so that it isn't a challenge to get both the male and female to be in the mood. As for disrespectful, you feel that way due to your own insecurities, you may hate porn, but why should that stop your partner? Maybe their sex drive is higher than yours and they need it to be satisfied?
Let me ask this, os ot disrespectful when your partner masturbates? Or is it having stimulation outside the physical that is the problem? Because if he doesn't have much imagination then he might have problems without porn, if physical stimulation alone definitely isn't enough for me to get off, half the time I end up losing my hard on if I don't have some mental stimulation as well.
I agree that love is what makes sex good and I don't find the most use in porn either, but I'd still let my partner use it when masturbating. I see porn like a sex toy really, it's just extra stimulation.
Also, unconditional loyalty? I think you're being a little over the top with that. What if you had a boyfriend who got jealous from you masturbating or using a vibrator? But he also only wanted sex twice a month because of a low sex drive? What about in an abusive relationship? It seems ignorant to claim perfect loyalty in all scenarios.
Are you a nympho then and giving your man a ton of sex each week? Fact is many guy's have high sex drives and the woman they are with, either does not have sex that would match the sex drive of their man. He doesn't want to cheat, you don't want him to cheat. Porn is the alternative to get off and help his horniness.
by the way if you wanted to look at porn, I don't think your man would care
You hate porn. You find it disgusting. Yet somehow you believe you are not a prude. What is your definition of a prude?
True that men do not have to rape a woman because they see a leg. But what is the association? I can be extremely aroused many ways and in no case do I feel a need to rape anybody. That is an act of violence, not sex.
Would you put blinders on a guy to make sure he never looks at a passing woman?
Paragraph one - you are the Master
I don't think she has a problem with her man looking at a woman but perhaps actually searching masturbation material is what bothers her.
for*
@urworstnightmare @lotv56 - What benefit is there to ignoring one's desires that hurt no one? A guy looking at porn is not having a relationship with another woman. Nor is a guy looking at a beautiful gal on the street. As for masturbation material, that is a whole topic in itself. And fantasizing during masturbation is common, yet does not mean the guy wants a different gal or is disrespecting the one he has.
Red_Arrow, you say it's not hurting anyone, that's not true. Most Porn is linked with Human Trafficking Sex Trafficking, these people in the videos aren't really willing participants, they've been forced into it through rape, drugs, alcohol, other violence, travel/visa/immigration documents being held. Do you actually think little girls and boys say I hope to be a porn star or prostitute one day? I get so sick people saying it's hurting no one. Also, if it's causing a problem in a relationship it's hurting someone.
@Moonchild714 - I was referring to the looking, not the making. And these days it seems most porn is people putting their videos online, either for money, or just because they enjoy doing it. And I agree that he should take her feelings into consideration, but it may cause resentment on his part. And she should consider that it is just him fantasizing, and not be all over his case for that.
@urworstnightmare - I have no desire to take any porn star to bed. Not sure OP is going to enjoy you saying you want her.
Even the "home movies" are often forced. The thing is nobody knows what they are watching is willing or not willing. And a lot of those are minors. We get calls on these everyday.
@Moonchild714 - Who is "we" and what kind of calls?
Why are you do concerned about the we and kind of calls. I think it's pretty obvious.
@Moonchild714 - I am concerned because you used it to make a point somehow. And if it was obvious, then why do I not know what you are talking about? And why would you say it then balk at ansewering what you are talking about?
I'm not balking, I think it's funny. Law Enforcement get calls on tip lines and investigate.
@Moonchild714 - Are you law enforcement?
Why are you so concerned? I've mentioned my work on here many times and you're the first to show concern about it.
@Moonchild714 - I guess you were not paying attention when I stated that I was asking because you used it as a point in your post. I am merely trying to understand your position and what you said. And I am not creeping on people here, so I do not know what you have said about your work. But YOU seem so concerned that I tried to understand what you were saying, so just forget it.
It would depend on the way you were raised. Not trying to go into religion. But satanism believes if you don't hurt anyone then you're good. But those who grew up fearing God would not look at things that way. Just because one doesn't literally hurt anyone doesn't mean it isn't bad. For example, the bible teaches you commit adultery in your heart by lusting at another woman. Porn may not hurt anyone but I personally have heard many stories of women who use to be porn stars and it's sad. They are viewed as sex objects, as nothing more than just for their bodies and cause men to sin and women to sin as well. Many porn stars need to take drugs to do some scenes and although they have chosen that career it's still sad because many are not happy and studies have shown that many pornstars actually hate men. People view porn differently and I don't think men should assume women/men are insecure for disliking porn or that they are wrong for not liking it. Everyone just has their reasons.