Is it wrong to tell my husband to stop masturbating?

Is it wrong to tell my husband to stop masturbating?
Only telling him to do this cause were trying to have to get pregnant. Seems reasonable to me but maybe I'm being controlling.
Guys how would you feel if your partner asked you to stop?
Yeah that's wrong
Vote A
No it's reasonable
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
I'm asking him to stop so I can pregnant. Not for any other reason. If this wasn't the case I wouldn't ask him to stop.
2 7

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you guys need to get on the same page.

    A lot of guys feel entitled to masturbating (it's something they have always had to themselves even as teenagers growing up stroking themselves in bed). It's definitively one of those things (because they feel entitled to it), they will blame a partner for being "controlling" if they don't get that "feeling of autonomy or escape" that masturbating usually represents. A lot of men view sex as a performance rather than a chance to connect, so masturbation is often an effort to avoid "performing." Women interpret it as not being desirable. Men then say, so i'm allowed to desire things other than you? Women say, "it feels like you'll like anything else but me". Not helpful arguments.

    Now, I'm definitely not trying to get pregnant, but I now what it's like when one person's masturbation habits affects "how much the other partner gets." In this case its not about not getting any sex, but it's still about resource allocation and distribution. Like, if you are jointly saving up for a car, it's not helpful if every two days you are coming home from the store with a new pair of shoes. Money spent is money spent, and sadly, within this context, sperm spent is sperm spent. Sure he can get it back, the same way you can wait for another paycheck, but its choosing to NOT take the faster route to the destination.

    He could be "getting off" and using that sperm to help further your goals as a couple (to get pregnant), and he's choosing to act on his own feelings of autonomy, self-pleasure, and escape.

    I would talk to him and genuinely be prepared to hear an answer you don't like, remember it wouldn't be conflict if you naturally agreed. If you can separate his feelings for autonomy and escape from the "obligation" of having sex, then he is much more likely to listen because you are starting with a desire to cater to his interests.

    Offer to let him come up with a reasonable estimate for his "habits." Maybe he can find "escape" into video games" and maybe, (and this is the sad part about growing up), that you can work on building a life you don't need to "escape from:" Hope it helps

    • Men do act like they're entitled to masturbating. I have already talked to him and he agrees. Thank you for your opinion. It has some really great info!

  • First of all he shouldn't be doing that at all period. If he has his women and she's trying to get pregnant what the hell is wrong with him.
    People should do that when there single not when they have some one for everything.

    • I agree with you!

    • I'm sorry to say but if he doesn't change please don't get pregnant. I would not like to see another lady suffering with a new born child.😢

    • We already have kids but I really want another

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sounds like an addiction and lack of impulse control on his end. The man who knows how to control his sexual urges is a powerful man. This is something only he can fix. Make sure he researches NoFap and the negative effects masturbation bring to a man. What's the point in marriage if you're not humping your woman instead of jacking off to porn. I don't know how you guys do it your bedroom, but try to spice things up by doing things differently. Not sure what kind of porn he watches, but perhaps you can take things out of the porn and apply it to real life (depending on the porn).

    Examples: Wear sexy lingeries in the bedroom, touch him inappropriately at home whenever you can. Flash your assets and sexy string to him without the kids seeing it. Talk dirty to him etc. Anything that motivates him to divert the attention to you and not the porn.

    Another important thing: Are you in shape, despite already having children? Are you making sure he is attracted to you by working out yourself?

  • Unless your husband have a senzu bean he should stop wasting his energy on masturbation. Your husband have a wife that is always available and yet he choose his hand over his wife's pussy? the gods send nuts to those who have no teeth. Even if you just wanted more sex then him choosing masturbation over sex means that he neglecting you, especially considering that you are the one with the higher libido, and considering that you want to get pregnant with a third child, you have even greater reason to demand from your husband to stop wasting his energy and sperm. I think that your husband actions is one if the main reasons for why masturbation was banned by religions, instead of keeping his wife satisfied and having his third child with her he is wasting time and energy on masturbation. :)

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/r5s_UE6WCDU

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What Girls & Guys Said

23 150
  • If he can take care of you and needs that as well to supplement, it would be cruel to stop him.

    If, however, he is not taking care of you as a result, than he should definitely stop, yes... TELL HIM I SAID SO! ... lol

  • Just reading the question I was ready to tell you that's an unreasonable demand, but reading the description seems kind of fair.

  • If you're going to make the effort to tell him to stop, you should make an effort to show him why you're better than his hand, otherwise it's just a controlling demand. If marriage is to be followed, it's a cross ownership, and if he's neglecting you in sexual needs, then you are very likely neglecting him in one or more of his needs.

    Marriage is about selflessness, and while masturbation may seem selfish, you both need to truly discuss in depth to gain a mutual understanding. Simply demanding him to stop, with no alternative or reason other than it's what you want isn't furthering the relationship: it's driving a wedge that already exists. Time to find out why and then ask if you want to exert the effort to grow intimate again.

    • There is a reason. I'm trying to get pregnant with a baby that he wants lol

    • That clearly is not sufficient in this case. Outside of procreation, what use is sex? That is the question your husband must also answer. Usually it's pleasurable and intimate, and if something is wrong, that needs to be ascertained and resolved.

    • Ah no it is a good enough reason. He agreed that it is rude and ridiculous so he needs to stop

    • Show All
  • Suggest it, let him know you will do all the work when he wants to do so (the fact is some times you want to masterbate because you don't have to care about some one else getting theirs so knowing that your willing to do it without him having to care if you get yours or not might help.)

  • as long as y’all are both reasonably satisfied with the frequency of the sex. It sounds reasonable... “while trying to get pregnant”. Congratulations and I hope he promptly knocks you up!!!

  • if you are truly trying to get pregnant, he should know enough to not do it... but the bigger question is, why is he masturbating so much that its a problem anyway? he should be coming to you, OR, if you know he's doing it and would rather him not, you should be keeping him sexed up enough to lower his desire to masturbate... he's just a simple guy, and a lot of us just dont know any better... especially when its a feel good past time that doesn't really take too much time to run one off by hand...

    • He can have me anytime he wants me. I try having lots of sex with him but that causes a problem in the realtionship too. He barely masturbates but its still a issue in my opinion

    • its not so much the masturbating in itself that lowers your risk of getting pregnant, but the masturbating lowers his desire to have sex in the spot where the chance of getting you pregnant is the greatest... between your legs... that he can have you anytime he wants you is great, but us guys sometimes dont like to always do the initiating... so if you become more proactive in getting him where you want him, MORE OFTEN, then he won't have the desire to masturbate...

    • I'm the only one that initiates so I think that's the issue

  • Instead of asking him to cease masturbating you should just keep reminding him how much you value every drop of his precious semen to be shot deep inside you.

    • Oh trust me that's the first thing I was telling him

  • I mean you're trying to get preggers but unless you're ready and receptive then it's just fine to keep the plumbing up to par. My junk backs up and thickens which is less potent if I'm not active. You both have a point it just depends on the cycle. If he was a true wizard then he'd learn to kiss you behind your neck and just complete both objectives!

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

  • Your wish for him to save all his sperm for you is logical. But you need to discuss it with him and have him agree. Demanding it of him will not work and will cause relationship difficulties.

  • It is wrong because even as a wife still it is his body. You are not even allowed to do it. Be very careful what you do by thinling about saying this. This could destroy a men because you tellin him something else and this is nothinf else then this, stop being a men. This will backfire on yourself. just be careful.

  • No that's reasonable. He is wasting his sperm.

  • Honestly he only needs to not jack off when ur on ur week of ovulation. Otherwise my husband did it and I still successfully got pregnant.

  • If he only does it to cope with you turning down sex, than yes
    If not than no...

    • I give him unlimited sex

  • I'm wondering if secretly he doesn't want you to get pregnant? Do you two already have any children? Just guessing here...

    • Yess we already have kids and he is much more ready to have more then I am

    • Ah OK! And he is more ready to have more children than you.

  • Yeah that's reasonable for trying to get pregnant sure it helps with that

  • What does him masturbating have to do with getting you pregnant? You had sex education, right?

    • It lowers sperm count. They dont teach how to make a baby in sex education. I had to learn how to track ouvaltion and learn about sperm count on my own. That is shit they dont teach but probably should

  • If your trying to get preggo, then yes. Need to keep every solder at the ready.

    • Well said @imsparkly. Lol

  • First I was gonna say yeah it’s controlling but after u explained ur trying to get pregnant then I think you are reasonable. He’s wasting valuable sperm lol.

  • HAVE HIM READ THIS:

    If you two are genuinely trying to get pregnant, then, yes, he needs to stop pulling pud.

    After each ejaculation, it takes about 72 hours for his troops to completely replenish in his dingleberries.
    Ergo thusly, if he is jerking off and then soon doing you trying to get you pregnant, he's basically shooting blanks.
    Furthermore, if he stops choking chicken and lets it build up over several days, then, when he does squirt, it'll be like the Fountains of Versailles. That's what you want so his little paratroopers find Miss Ovum.

    • Yesss I've tried telling him this

    • Well, let him know that __I__ am tell him the same thing and I am 57 and know my shit.

    • I'll make sure to tell him it's coming from you lol

  • It makes sense in perhaps asking him to reduce the number of times, as this will certainly help to increase both his sperm count and strength.

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