Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Is lying about virginity a deal breaker?
Kam24 Xper 2
My girlfriend of one year lied to me about her virginity due to her being afraid that she would 'lose' me. It's not the virginity that angers me but the fact that she lied about something that big. Is this a deal breaker?
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What Girls & Guys Said
45 95Well it certainly wasn't said with bad intentions. And it was something that was said somewhat out of embarrassment. I don't see this as being a huge deal, in my opinion. It was more something that was done out of being insecure and unsure of what you might have thought.
There are definitely other times where I would take a lie to be more serious. But I don't really see this situation as being that black and white. Just my opinion.
I think for starting a relationship it is because that's already one person lying. So that's a red flag.
I don't get the big deal. I keep reading replies with people suggesting you should be all butthurt about her lying.
Come on man people lie it's part of the package, tell me you never ever told a lie even small one.
Because make no mistake virginity is a small one, it's not nearly as a big a deal as advertised. People don't become different people after having sex, virginity is a social construct.
The first girl I was ever with I made her belive she was the third because I was scared she wouldn't do it with me.
And she might have suspected it but she never knew she was my first. I stuck to the story and that was that. Not out of disrespect for her but because it's the story I went with in the heat of the moment and that lie changes nothing in her life neither better nor worse.
Your case is the same, you've been with her a year you know her inside out does that lie she told when you were still a stranger to matter so much?
I don't know, I really dont like liers, my mind would be racing trying to understand why she lied about that to me. What and how she answered would be real inportant.
Like why?
Was she raped and dosent want it to can't?
Is she trying to start over and change her sexual habits?
Hell I'd be worried she likes sex but just didn't want to have sex with me, like thos whole time it was just a friendzone type relationship to her.
Did she see me as some pig that only wants a virgin so she was manipulating me?
I don't know, it could end up being nothing or it could be a deal breaker, like others have said, what else might she be lying about?
Also, I am a virgin, last year I was real depressed and down about it, so I don't know how I'd handle someone lying about it like it's a good thing. I'd feel like she was making a joke out of my life.
Lying in general is off putting and a dealbreaker.
Lying is the problem. It really doesn't matter what the lie or lies are about; a relationship built on dishonesty is doomed.
Yes, it's a dealbreaker. A liar is a liar. Can't trust someone who is a liar. And for some people virginity is extremely important so I see not why they shouldn't see this as a dealbreaker
Is virginity really a big thing in todays society? It's a completely unnecessary lie. I can only think of one reason for it less talk about sexual experience or lack of it.
Yes. If they lied about that, what else could they lie about?
It's a deal breaker for me.
If a person is going to lie to me about something like that then I'm just going to wonder what else have you lied to me about.
I would say to be cautious because is she lied from the start then who’s to say that she won’t lie about future things to not “lose you” (maybe that’s a lie too. Honestly I wouldn’t say it’s a deal breaker buuuut, if she shows more signs of this then I’d say fry to find someone else. Lying from the start is not a good sign in my opinion
however second chances are good to provide for someone but, be caustics and get to know her more. Don’t fall for her if she’s showing signs of manipulation eother
I would say lying would be the bigger issue for me than the virginity bit. If she lied about that, what else did she lie about to me is what I would be wondering.
I'd say lying in general regardless of what it is in my opinion is a deal breaker...
Lying about virginity is a definite deal breaker. Lying about one's sexual past is a deal breaker. Lying in general is a deal breaker.
The real problem here is that you are judging her: are YOU a virgin or just a prick?
Don't be so thin skinned and insecure.
She's your girlfriend, not your wife. She could be gangbanging everyday before she met you, for all that it matters. You have her as your girlfriend too, so she's clearly not that special to you either. You seem like the sort of daft geezer who walks into a used car showroom expecting a new car.
Plus, you don't think you're that special she should have "saved" herself for you, are you? You're going to be her abusive/stalker ex, it seems.
Bottom line Most people lie about their virginity and how many people they slept with , so it always comes down to a 50/50 chance on whether they are telling the truth or not , so you can either have sex or don’t have sex, if you really like the girl , you are better off leaning into having sex and getting laid then not getting laid , The truth barely ever comes out until later on, it’s a chance we all take , so live for the moment just be safe about it , make sure you wear condoms in the beginning , if she is lying to you the truth will eventually come out but don’t pass up your opportunity of getting laid , you met this girl and sparked a connection , and hit it off , don’t ruin it because of something you think is a lie , fuck the shit out of her and have a good time , if you keep catching her in lies then dump her ass but for the mean time have fun with her just be safe about it , Most girls I banged lied to me , it sucks but that’s how most people are in the beginning for whatever reasons , mainly cuz people want what they want and will say what they need to say to get them , it eventually catches up to them and smacks them right in the face but the way I look at it , it’s not my problem that’s something they have to live with knowing they were lying pieces of shit , but eventually you will
Find one that is telling you the truth and that’s the one you keep
I don't know the full context, but people sometimes lie when they're desperate. Sounds like she was desperate to be with you. Maybe take that as a compliment? But it is weird that she would like about such a thing. I think you should sit down and have an actual conversation about why it bothered you and why it's not okay
That’s such a dumb lie. It could be, if it breaches trust
I agree that it’s sad/annoying that she lied, but also you shouldn’t care so much I feel like it’s a trivial matter