Most Helpful Guys

  • I really don't think it is.

    People will hate me for saying so, but I think a modernized harem is actually best.

    The reason being that you can pool income, childcare and living space. You'd think it's about sex or dominance or something like that, but I've had enough sex to be bored of it, and value a tranquil home life more than some obscure desire to dominate.

    Also I like playing with and caring for kids.

    The reason I wouldn't have more than one man per group is because of the chance of infighting and because I've read about a higher instance of childe abuse and male mental health problems in a mixed poly group with kids involved. Women tend to get along better.

    As for modernizing it, I think it would be good to have a wife or two that prefers homemaking, while others could focus on career. Being in a group also means that misfortune like illness isn't as major an issue, because you have a group of cooperating adults as a safety net.

    Also it's fine not to have kids, in which case do whatever you like.

    • I think you have an interesting prospective on things.

    • Thanks 👍

  • Yes. Sexual connection leads to emotional connection and this leads to the need for exclusivity. It's written very deeply in our brains and it's really hard to overcome this...
    Do you remember that feeling you have after sex (especially good one) when you just lie there with him and want to cuddle and talk? That's this emotional connection forming between you two. You can try to break it, and you may succeed. But it's not how it was designed to be.

    • I truly do agree with you

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 26

  • Yes I definitely think so. No matter how callus you try to be about sex it’s a human bonding experience. And it creates hormones in your brain that change you. And since no of us are rockstars you tend to revisit your sexual partners and develop feelings. So let’s say you have a partner and are having casual sex on the side you will slowly attach to that person no matter how much you say your not. And even worse if it’s your partner having casual sex you feel your bond breaking as they get closer to someone else. Especially with the excitement of newness in the beginning. It’s one sure way of finding yourself in a web of lies. Scared to lose anyone and scared to hurt anyone.

  • Monogamy is the best way if you have met your true love. When you find such feeling then you would never have the intention to be in sexual relationship with other persons. But there are many (and in greater share) who are into a series of relationship by destiny or just for the sake of sexual pleasure. But, that's their own view - if you think that monogamy is best - your can't be more right.

  • For most people I suppose it is. For myself, my hubby and our girlfriend we feel that we share the same loving Soul. She has been my girlfriend since we we're teenagers and when I met my husband and we locked eyes I seen the same deep love in them that I seen in my girlfriend's.
    Long story short we've been married 12 years now and we are all still together.

    • I love that you guys are all great together. It's a beautiful thing.

  • Yes I think it is.

  • It works for most people. If you want to try something else have an honest chat with the guy.

  • I personally don't think I could be in a poly relationship, you never know unless you try, but I don't think my personality would allow for it. I might not be an overly jealous woman, but I don't like to share.

    More power to the people who are able to be in poly relationships & keeping it together... So long as EVERY party is okay, & continues to be okay with the arrangement.

  • As a poly individual , I find many of the responses here hilarious. There is no best way. It depends on the individuals within the relationship

  • Depends on what you want. For me, it definitely is not the best way.

    • What is the best way according to you?

    • Consensual non monogamy, for me personally.

    • That's actually good idea

  • For society I would say yes. Non monogamy does not result in everyone just sleeping with everyone - it results in the most in demand men monopolizing lots of women and many other men have no partners. This is not a very stable scenario.

    for individuals? I think most individuals can be pretty happy in a good monogamous relationship. Some really can't. Plenty of people can probably also be pretty happy with the right sort of job monogamy as well.

  • in my opinion yes but I don’t judge others who feel differently

  • Yes it is. Even though having 2 wives sounds so attractive, it's really hell for the wives.

  • There is no single way to lead a life it all in our thoughts and the rules we set for ourself.

    Humans are capable of loving many, but are they capable of dividing the power, greed, or lust and money?

    If one has master over it and understands only love then its possible to be in a Polly.

  • Long term it's the most stable. It's easy to mess up when people rush into it. Even compatible couples will butt heads from time to time.

  • A person can honestly love more than one person. That is the truth of this world. But marrying more than one person at the same time isn't allowed to females in Islam. Don't know about the other religions of the world.
    I have seen polygamous couples happier and monogamous couples unhappy.
    So I can't say one is better than the other but I can say alternatives are not inferior but just different.
    Can a person be monogamous but keep friends with someone of opposite gender? Of course they can. You need strong will power

  • Yes it is

  • I question it

  • Yeah. Especially when I'm deep in love with someone, nothing arouses me the way my girl does.
    And being exclusive to that one person is the only thing I could ask for at the moment.

    If it wasn't monogamy, I don't think sleeping with no amount people would get me satisfied. It would just be a never ending loop. Until you're just addicted.

  • Yes. Of course it is. It is the natural way. It is the way of true love. (And it is the only way I want.)

  • I think it is. The alternative just creates conflict.

  • Yes,...

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