Is this rape…. if?

[Anonymous]

So i texted this guy i know & asked him for some money,($100) & he said “yeah… if you give me some pussy lol” i respond & tell him “stop playing like that lol” & he said ok come get it. Come to find out… he wasn’t playing 😑 So when i met up with him , i got in his car to get the money & he told me to get in the back , i said why? He said just come on …so i did & he tried to pull my leggings down & i pulled them back up like hey what r u doing? He pulls them down again & started giving me oral, then penetrated me. I didn’t want to do it but i was afraid if i said no & got to irate he wouldn’t give me the money so i reluctantly just opened my legs and let him do it, but i know he could tell i didn’t want to and was not into it. I was at a bad place in my life at that time & needed the money but if i technically told him no In a text & he still proceeded to have sex with me isn’t that rape? Can i go to the cops? I feel so embarrassed and felt so disgusted of myself.

[Rob70]

I am sorry this happen to you. You should have never gotten in to the back and said no when he tried pulling your pants down. There is no excuse for what he did. I think he is a horrible person for doing what he did. You can always go to the police but I don't know for sure if they will do much. I still think he raped you in my opinion. Good luck and again sorry you hadto go through this

[Asker]

Thank you. Do u mind if i can give u mho?

[Rob70]

I don't mind

[MrKinktastic]

You sure can go to the cops, the sooner the better. That was sexual coercion and you did indicate you didn’t want sex and he forced the issue anyways. Rape doesn’t have to be violent for it to violate consent and still be rape.

[Twalli]

She could have left. She asked for money, he gave her the conditions. Even if she didn't want it, she chose to do it for his money.

[MrKinktastic]

No she didn’t, he forced the issue and she just didn’t fight him to stop him. It’s rape whether he threw cash at her afterwards or not.

[Twalli]

She said she let him do it because she was afraid she wouldn't get money from him if she didn't. She could have left, he wasn't forcing her. She decided his money was more important than not having sex. If there was no I will give you $100 for sex beforehand, then it would be rape even if he paid her after. That isn't what happened.

[MrKinktastic]

He raped her when he pulled her pants down after she tried to pull them out and went down on her. Everything else is gravy.

[MrKinktastic]

*she tried to pull them up

[Asker]

Thank you 💯 that’s my point of view and others will have theirs. But dude definitely took advantage && if it’s not fake then it’s sexual assult\abuse at the very least!

[Asker]

I meant if it’s not rape **

[Twalli]

And if it goes to court it could go as a prostitution case. She had sex for money and there's proof he said that he'd give her $100 if she had sex with him. Sex happened and she got money.

[MrKinktastic]

He’s incorrect but I’m not going to argue with him. Agreed, you were assaulted and he tried to give you money so you wouldn’t complain. It’s still rape as you never actually agreed to the transaction.

[Asker]

at least some one sees where I’m coming from i clearly said no In the text

[MrKinktastic]

Yeah, I think he just fixated on the dollar figure and ignored the rest

[Tyme1313]

Technically, no, it isn't rape unless you said no. But if you gave in because of the money, that is still legally consent. Though it is also legally prostitution.

[PenkWing]

Yes, it’s rape. You are not responsible for what happened. He is a rapist and you can definitely report him. Even if there are no consequences (rapists often go unpunished) you will feel a weight off your chest.

[Twalli]

She went to him after he expressed he wanted sex from her to give her money. She was at no time forced to do it. She chose to do what she didn't want so he'd give her money. That isn't rape because she had ever opportunity to extricate herself. She did not so he would give her money.

[PenkWing]

@Twalli the other commenters expressed this point many times, and I’m aware of that point of view. I don’t think it applies. The consent was not freely negotiated, and the rapist did not check with the subject before deciding to use her body.

[Twalli]

At mo time was it forced or coerced.

[purplepoppy]

It's what I call "deserved rape" but I'm sure prostitution also fits. You met up with a guy who made it clear he'll give you money for sex and you got in his car. Tough shit.

[MrReliable12]

Damn

[ohshee]

Yes is 100% rape on his part but this is where everything is turned sideways he told you in the beginning he would give you the money for sex. Then you showed up he told you to get in the backseat that right there should have told you something then you had sex with him. Or he had sex with you. You took the $100. And it's been how long now that this has happened till today that you hadn't gone to the police. Now how many times have you seen this guy or talk to this guy since if you went to the police there's going to be all these different scenarios that pop up and I truly truly hate saying this right now because I'm sorry for what happened to you but once you took the money it's your word against his word. That's one big issue right there the other bigger issue is what you feel about yourself look I hate sounding so cold about it. It happened you know in your heart that you didn't have anything to do with it it was not your fault so clear from your mind let it go live life don't put yourself in that position again

[ohshee]

Well it's been over a year now so how do you feel now have you put yourself in any more of those predicaments like I said I feel bad that happened to you because that guy totally took advantage of you knowing that you needed that money and that makes him fucked up in the head I have loans girls lots of money before and depending on our friendship on the level of it I would joke around and I might be saved the same thing but it's a joke there's some girls that I would not say that to that I know just because they would take it wrong but I hope you're okay and if that ever happened to you again I would hope that you would report it

[Asker]

Thanks for the compassion. And of course not ! Why would i allow this to happen again? So the update on me and the guy, basically not to long after the incedent happened he hit me up asking to pay for more sex, but i told him no because not only is it degrading but i was on my cycle at that time any way. I’ve since changed my phone number & blocked him on everything and told him i don’t need money that bad so he can leave me alone if that’s what he thinks this is gonna turn into

[DonkeyDan]

With the definition of rape possible it could fall under that but it will be complicated by the exchange of money and potentially come under prostitution laws. The only way you will find out would be to go to the cops and find out, be prepared for them to charge you for recieving money in exchange fore sexual services though. It's all going to depend on the local laws.

[Rixon]

Clearly you have let him do it here. Even if you were reluctant you should have expressed it immediately after he pulled your leggings down and before even oral sex was initiated.

[Rixon]

Just down voting everyone's opinion who say that it isn't rape doesn't mean that it will change the reality. If you want to hear it's rape then no need to ask this question over here. I don't know what's the big deal to resist when you don't want to. Being meek when someone is forcing upon you doesn't help.

[Asker]

I didn’t down vote your comment, but the guy violated and took advantage now i want revenge

[Twalli]

So roll the dice with the law and hope they don't see it as prostitution. Whether or not you see yourself as one, you acted like one.

[Asker]

@Twalli I’m not a prostitute ! A prostitute is some one who goes on only fans or back page and sell their self form money on a daily basis as a living ! I don’t do this for. Living i did it like twice && never again

[Twalli]

I am not saying you are. I am saying you did what one does. Sex for money. I am not a runner, but I do run.

[Kaneki05]

That is rape yes. But it's pretty dumb to take money from the guy literally saying he is giving it to you for sex then expecting him not to have sex with you meanwhile taking the money.
He would never of gave you the money for free. If you never took the money it would of never happened so for future notice don't.

But yeah it's still rape if you never said yes.

[Twalli]

Yet never tried to leave? Rape is forcible unwanted sex. At no time did he force her. She wanted his money and thought she wouldn't get it vf without sex, so she chose that money outweighed not having sex. She essentially acquiesced because she didn't try to leave and said she did it so he would give her money.

[Kaneki05]

So people don't freeze? So people cannot feel awkward? So people cannot be ones who are not very confident in saying no? If you think rape is only defined as a person tried to leave. Then you don't understand rape. Rape is just when no clear consent is given.

[Twalli]

Abe said she figured she wouldn't get his money if she didn't let him. At. O time was her ability to resist impeded. She decided she wanted his moneybebough to accept the sex. He told her the conditions and before it even started ahe knew he was serious. She still didn't try another way to get money that didn't involve sex.

[Kaneki05]

@Twalli Did she say yes? It's as simple as that really. If a woman don't say yes then it's rape don't matter if she's not the smartest tool in the shed. Smh

[Asker]

Who r u calling dumb

[Kaneki05]

You. You either dumb like most people who exist tbf or have a learning disability either it don't matter, you never said yes so it was rape. People cannot just have sex with who they want then blame it was her own stupidity or her learning difficultly. Cause then at that point rape has a good legal argument out of it for anyone.

[Asker]

Whoa no Need to be rude and name call !

[Kaneki05]

Not been rude just simply pointing out a fact. Since other people with a higher sense of awareness would of known that the guy was serious about the sex and paying you for it. And would of ether not got in the car or got in it knowing what would happen. You didn't therefore there is something wrong with your awareness. Whether it is just straight up dumbness or a learn disability i do not know. But clearly it's not a sign of been able to recognise these two options. Which means you may need help from someone. I am not saying it to just be rude more just been observant and that you may not even know yourself that you may need help with understanding things. And it's never a bad thing to get help or learn. Not everyone who is abused is dumb or has learning difficulties but the fact of the matter there will be ones that are and even evil bastards who pick such people for them reasons as easy victims. And well like all victims they need help but these ones even need more help. Due to the fact they didn't understand there were very two clear choices to be made here that other people would of been aware of. Best thing that can done is try to get someone who can help you notice these things. Because myself and other's clearly noticed them and that's why so much people here are not understanding that this was rape. Because in their situation as more aware people would of done two clear choices.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, you can report a rape even though it was a year ago
it's just sad to think a man would do the things to a girl
and that's sad for you to have to experience stuff like this
makes me sad :( I do hope you can get help for this and
set these things aside (( Hugs )) 👼🙏

[Yourfriend2021]

You said you "let him do it" so no it's not.

[IncognitoBandito]

Sounds to me like you could have walked away at any time, so no.

[noohair]

You took money?

[Asker]

Yeah

[noohair]

That could complicate things, but if you feel raped, report it. I am sorry for your situation.

[Twalli]

The fact is his lawyer, if she reports it, will argue prostitution. That can completely flip what she wants to happen.

[Twalli]

You did it and got paid for it. You just be able to charge him for rape, but since you accepted money for it I have a feeling it will be called prostitution.

[Asker]

Not prostitution but takin advantage is what it’s called

[Twalli]

Completely legal if she doesn't try to take him to court

[Twalli]

Long and short. If you try to take him to court forvrape, any halfway decent defense lawyer will argue prostitution. And then ifvyou lose you might get charged for prostitution. Plus you did it twice, so bv that speaks to pattern. You don't have to be a prostitute to engage in it.

[LaMiSch]

I would say it wasn't rape. Unfortunately you let him do it. And already while texting you should have known that he was only after it. I'm sorry for you, really. Even if you need the money urgently, it is not worth prostitution 😣

[anylolone]

If you had sex for money, it wasn't rape. Your fear wasn't that he would hurt you and you weren't passed out.

I had sex with a chick because I just wanted to sleep (I was sick as fuck), maybe she would have raped me if I kept saying no and resisting, but I stopped resisting because I was afraid she wouldn't let me sleep enough otherwise. (she didn't let me sleep enough regardless.) And I also didn't wanted to be rude and kick her out in the middle of the night and I was afraid that was really going to get her upset.

Was that rape? She thought she raped me, I said I knew the difference.

But sure it was traumatic.

[Asker]

U clearly was raped u said u were resisting ! Helloooo

[anylolone]

Then I stopped resisting, not because my body integrity, or coercion, or being passed out. Saying no to sex and then saying yes doesn't make it rape. if so, then even my girlfriend raped me. If you just tell a guy "if you don't fuck me i'm going to say you raped me" then you raped a guy even if that's the first thing you said and he capitulated immediately instead of being a smart boy and instantly recording it. (in secret) I've been actually raped, I know the difference.

[Asker]

I’m sorry for that unfortunate event , but by your definition i was raped. Coerced…

[Twalli]

You could have left. You didn't because you wanted money

[anylolone]

How, coercion is not "s/he might not give me money." For Christ sake! Coercion requires threat of harm, not absence of help.

[anylolone]

@Twalli it's like I'm talking to a door. "Judge, she said she would leave me, that makes it rape!" Lol Know what's weird? She might have threatened to harm me, but I was so drunk that if she used innuendo I wouldn't know. She was quite aggressive. And yeah, the moron here didn't stopped seeing her. She fucked me like three times after. Sex was awful. But I wanted to be nice and thought I'd be good influence, and she was better read than average, so good at conversations. She had great tits as well.

[Asker]

Huh I’m lost. So u had sex with someone simply because u didn’t want to be rude? No that’s not rape but if she threatened to physically harm u the. Yeah it was or st the very least sexual asult

[anylolone]

Well, possible, but I could have kicked her out. It wasn't just not to be rude, it was also because I wanted to sleep and I was sick from drinking too much. Again, I could have kicked her out, and you could have said "no, fuck the money" and left. Of course, we will never know if we really could have just do that, but at least we know we didn't even tried.

[bestfriend69]

How old were you? Did you return his money?

[hakangirer]

it doesn't count as a rape, do you send a message? i want to ask

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like you had sex for money, the arrangement was perfectly clear and you went along with it.

[Asker]

I disagree

[Opinion Owner]

Quote: I didn’t want to do it but i was afraid if i said no & got to irate he wouldn’t give me the money so i reluctantly just opened my legs and let him do it. So you didn't actually say no, stop etc and in fact you didn't want to stop him because then he wouldn't give you the money that you wanted. You accepted what happened in order to get the money.

[Anonymous]

Next time use Venmo. I'm sorry you went through that but you won't have a chance proving that was rape. You took the money, you went to see him... This was a very stupid choice you made and with a very negative outcome. He absolutely was a horrible human being and what he did was disgusting. I would argue that it was in fact a rape, but I doubt the cops would do anything about it, unfortunately.

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion. Why do u think the cops wouldn’t do anything?

[Twalli]

Because you knowingly did it for money

[Anonymous]

“I was afraid he wouldn’t give me the money if I didn’t let him have sex with me”

you’re a prostitute. He told you his terms, you wanted the money...

[Asker]

I am not a got damn prostitute !!

[Opinion Owner]

U had sex for money yeah? He only gave it to ya cause he fucked ya, right?

[Asker]

I don’t do that for a living therefore I’m not one

[Opinion Owner]

You were for a night tho

[Anonymous]

What purplepoppy said. You essentially made an arrangement to trade sex for money and then followed through on it. "He could tell I didn’t want to" doesn't cut it. What you are experiencing now are feelings of remorse for what you did. But that is not rape.