Just found out my friends with benefits who is 34 has had a 19 year old girl round tonight. It’s really angered me do I have a right to be annoyed?

[Anonymous]

[Finchie40]

The only way a FWB’s works is if you both are on the same page with things , even though FWB’s means no strings attached , you shouldn’t get into one without some strings attached, Meaning yes you are open to meeting new people but having sex with other people should be off the table , if you want to have sex with someone else , then you end the benefits part with your current FWB’s , I will only be in a FWB’s relationship with a girl if she is only having sex with me , if she is spreading her legs to other guys then she needs to end it with me period , it’s called respect for each other , you dug your own grave with this guy because you didn’t lay down the rules , He is clearly just using you for sex and wants to stick his dick in other girls as well thinking it’s ok for him to do , so you are best to go get tested and make sure you didn’t contract any STD’s cuz who’s to say how many girls he fucked behind your back , you are best to not have sex with him anymore , he already proved to you that you were just a piece of ass to him

[bowenw]

Unless the two of you are exclusive I don't think you can say anything to him. Having said that, it is human nature to be jealous. If he blew you off to be with her then you do have a right to be annoyed with him.

[Asker]

We have argued over this girl as the last time I was with him he tried to make me jealous by showing me a message off her

[Asker]

I suppose I’m also thinking he got back off holiday today why is he so bothered about seeing her

[bowenw]

That was disrespectful of him to do that. Do you know if he did it because he wants to be more than friends with benefits with you?

[bowenw]

You may have to ask him why he wanted to see her and not you.

[Asker]

Ye he even said he was sorry and realised he had been disrespectful and was an idiot! He said he did it because he thought I was texting another guy in his house! I was actually messaging my girl mate arranging a night out and he assumed it was a guy! Every time I’ve gone on my phone around him he’s touched the screen and looked at my phone

[bowenw]

I think you can forgive him if that's what really happened. That is disrespectful of him to be looking at your phone in my opinion.

[Asker]

He apologised 2 weeks ago she has been round tonight so he clearly does like her

[Asker]

He also ejaculated three times in me without even thinking of the consequences and has then gone straight to another girl it just makes me feel disrespected that he can’t keep it in his pants for a week!

[bowenw]

Is she more than a friends with benefits as far as you can tell?

[Asker]

No I know she isn’t anything more I just think it’s beggy she’s uploaded there food and got his name in the photo on the receipt (he’s a pro boxer)

[bowenw]

How do you know all those details?

[Asker]

Because I saw the Instagram messages on his phone of them getting to know each other when he was showing it so I could see

[bowenw]

Could he have posted that on Instagram to try to make you jealous?

[Asker]

It’s her who’s been posting on Instagram tonight he hasn't posted anything of her. Can’t be having that much of a great night if they’re glued to their phones 😂

[bowenw]

That is true. I didn't realize you were looking at her Instagram. Please feel free to PM me if you prefer.

[Asker]

I’ve messaged :)

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Anemone978]

No you don't have a right... you are only friends with benefits and that is what you let him be... if you want more up your standards and don't give the pussy for free... He obviously likes the other girl else he would of hit you up first but he didn't so give up the hope that he likes you more...

[Quackthulu2]

You can get annoyed at whatever the fuck you want. But you don’t have the right to dictate who other people share their genitals with.

[OlderAndWiser]

What part of "no strings attached" did you not understand? If you want to claim a guy as "your" guy, then be up front and say you are looking for a boyfriend and not just an erection.

[spartan55]

No, you don't. Do you not understand what friends with benefits is? I will skip over how you found this information out, but I'm sure it wasn't by accident. As long as she is of age then it's none of your business. He's not your boyfriend, so maybe you should mind your own backyard.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Maybe he’s trading in the old clunker of a car for a new model.

[abc3643]

Congratulations!
Your question is today's Question of the Day illustrating that Friends With Benefits is an illusion because eventually one of them will get emotionally involved as if in a couple.

It's not a question of "if" it's going to happen, but "when".

If it is any consolation, in December 1988 just before I turned 26, I was involved in this intense 2.5-week F W B situation with my roommate. I was very emotionally involved, but, for her, I was just a convenient lay between more "serious boyfriend"s.

So, was I a stupid fool? Yes and no. I knew better, but I wanted what I got into and paid the price. I learned through The School of Hard Knocks just like you are...

[SnowedIn]

Nope. Friends with benefits. Unless you have some sort of agreement, they can do what they want whether you (or we) like it or not.

[Asker]

He has told me his body is all mine and my p***y is only his so I thought that meant I could only sleep with him and vice versa

[SnowedIn]

OHHHHHHHHHH! Hmmmmmm... yeah... that sounds dirtbaggish then. Way sus.

[Asker]

Especially when he always decides to finish inside me I feel disrespected

[boggboss]

Not really

[boggboss]

U are people that have sex nothing more

[boggboss]

U seem to just be another girl to him unfortunately

[Asker]

Just another girl he thinks it’s ok to finish inside 3 times, which he’s probably also done with her tonight

[boggboss]

Yes he most likely has he probably don't give two shits if he gets either of u pregnant

[Asker]

He said to me before please don’t get pregnant and then does that 3 times! Idiot. I’ve cut him off for good. I know it’s casual but I said to him I don’t want anything rubbed in my face and he’s already crossed that line

[boggboss]

Fair enough maybe look for a exclusive friends with benefits

[AviatorTom]

You have the right to be disappointed... but not annoyed. There is no requirement for exclusivity in a friends with benefits relationship. You are both free to do whatever you want... with whomever you want.

[Part2603]

Lol, no.

[Fireguy17]

what part are you angry with?
the fact that he is doinking someone else, or that his partner was young?
You said it yourself, you are not in a relationship, just friends that have sex once in a while, or how many times it happens.
Have you set any boundaries on if can you see/doink others, are you also doinking someone else?
If you do not have boundaries, and or if you are having sex with another or others, then you do not have a right to be angry at him.
Then it just becomes your issue, and you will have to figure out if you want to have casual sex with someone that is doing others, or someone much younger.
Unless, you have developed feelings towards him, and you are jealous that he has been with someone else.
The plot thickens...

[FilmGuy93]

You have the right to feel however you want to feel, but you don't have any grounds to call him out. Feelings don't need material reasons to be valid in and of themselves.

That said... unless you two are exclusive or had some rational/factually based reason to believe you were exclusive; he is not beholden to you.

[Asker]

I’ve cut him off and don’t want to speak to him. Doesn’t sit right with me that he constantly blows up my phone, doesn’t leave me alone but after a week he wants to have a 19 year old girl round. I’m finished with him for good

[FilmGuy93]

Was this a girl he wanted around at the same time you were? Like he had you in the same room.

[Sixgunsound]

@filmguy93 Facts. This is one of the many reasons I don't support modern hook up culture. Mother nature is sexist and men and women have sex differently. Asker is emotionally wrecked and the friends with benefits probably doesn't even know or care. Pay attention ladies, this is another shining example of what feminist progress gets you.

[Marked_Man]

Nope. He's lucky.

[Mansearching]

Unless you are boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife, then get over it.

[AmeerX]

You don't have a right to be annoyed with him over this. You are not his wife

[kellytheman]

Maybe just a little but you shouldn't since he just a friends with benefits and with that kind of relationship no emotions or feelings should be involved. I also do know where your coming from you should only have one friends with benefits at a time and it seems he replacing you with another girl.

[Twalli]

Not really. Your relationship is just sex. So until it's more than just a way to get off sexually, you don't really get to critique his choice of female companions.

[wannabecuck-2]

Yes u have cheatimg shouldn't be tolerated ask him why he did that

[nawtee_me]

friends with benefits have no say in what the other does sexually or with whom?

[In_Trance]

No you don't

[SmokinAces2000]

No you don’t, if you guys are friends with benefits then why are you worried about him having sex with another woman

[riverrat3]

Nope