Sexual Relationships
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Little sister caught watching porn? Don't know how to feel?

So my little sister is eleven. My mom found various porn websites on her phone's history. I don't know what to say. I'm very disappointed. As I am at college right now, I used to monitor her every move when I was at home. I would make sure to not show her explicit music videos, and I would also make her cover her eyes during kissing scenes. But PORN? I don't know if I should be more upset at her or my parents for failing to check her phone daily. Now the plan is to deactivate her smart phone and let her use an old-school flip phone.
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+1 y
And why it's kind of upsetting is because we're Nigerian. African PARENTS DON'T PLAY
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well remember that the parents are the head of the family, and they make the final choices, decisions are regulations.
    With that said, support them! Don't tell/ teach your sister something different.
    Maybe your sister is interested in Sex. No problem with it actually, especially being that she's 11. I was 10 when I became interested in Sex. So remember that your sister is human, she not an alien for watching porn, and she more than likely needs to be sat down with and talked to about that process. Remember give her the chance to speak. She's obviously grown up in more than 1 way, and she is ready to see some of the things you think she isn't ready to see! Good Luck!

  • Kids these days are bombarded with sexual images- from television, billboards, internet ads, magazines, radio, music, etc. It's a lot harder these days to shelter them from that. Now with her being a pre-teen her curiosity is probably growing more and more. The best thing is to talk with her- explain to her how unrealistic these images are but that her curiosity shouldn't be punished but monitored and explained. Have your mom or you have that "talk" with her- and let her know that if she ever has any concerns and questions to come to you or your mom. Honesty about how she feels will make it easier for her to not get frustrated in the long run.

  • It's normal for kids to be curious about that stuff. 11 is a little young, but honestly she shouldn't have had a smart phone in the first place if you guys really wanted to monitor her.
    Good move in taking her smart phone away and replacing it with a flip phone. in my opinion that's what she should've had originally

    • She's going to have to grow up eventually. It's good that she's learning about this stuff while you guys can monitor her, rather than when she's away at college herself and people take advantage of her lack of knowledge

    • Yeah I know it's normal, but there's time for everything. This girl would look at celebrity sex tapes and various stuff. Like that's not acceptable. And that's what I told my parents, but they didn't listen.

  • ... As I am at college right now...
    You are no longer Home to help Mom take over, so Best from the Rest thing you can Do from your own End, is be a "Friend" and just Help mom with any Suggestions, Such as this One, hun, to Keep the Game Plan... For Deactivating.
    Good Luck and Every Country is Different. xx

    • Thanks for the Like, hun, with your Heart of Gold. xx

Most Helpful Guys

  • Kids are curious and thanks to the internet kids have easier access to a lot more things than they once might have. This is nothing new though, kids have been finding porn for as long as porn has existed. It's just easier to get hold of now.

    The best that you can do is to restrict their access from things which they are not yet ready to deal with. That's what you are doing as a family. Don't make it into a huge issue because it can be damaging for your sister. Incidents such as this need to be handled with sensitivity as formative experiences can greatly shape how you evolve as adults.

  • nah, she's a kid and curious. just talk openly about it and don't make it an awful thing.
    Watch for signs she's been abused... that's a different matter. I doubt she is addicted at that age.
    but definitely lay down some law... in a nice way.
    Sex shouldn't be so taboo... but it has its place.

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 18

  • She does sound dangerously sexually experimental. I'm with your parents: I'd put a stop to it, whatever it took.

    • Really? All middle or even elementary kids watch porn! Almost all.

    • @SovereignessofVamps That's terrifying.

    • But why? I've always wondered why people thought it was bad for kids. If it's about worrying they'll fuck early... they're usually just copying friends. To prevent just srsly tell them how much sex will suck at their young age... I don't see it as an issue they still probably won't have sex until HS

  • i found. my step daughter. looking @ porn and I was just like what is going on here then I was just like damn girl your a freaky little sh*t. but had to. install an app to one notify her father and I had to periodically just snatch her phone and check it. what's wrong with these. kids watching that?

  • On top of that - take her to church and get her interested in God - you don't accomplish anything by making it impossible for her to look at porn - you should change her so that she won't want to look at porn.

    • Yes. I'm trying to see if she can start having a deeper relationship with God.

  • ... No ones failed at anything.

  • she's just curious that pretty normal I don't think she needs to be punished for that

  • There is almost no way that a girl in her age is interested in watching porn.

  • It's probably because of the people she's hanging around with. People talking about sex/porn. She also might be curious.. since sex is talked about/on tv in movies all the time.

  • She's probably just curious. I agree that you should have her use a flip phone instead.

  • I think she's completely normal. I feel like kids shouldn't be heavily monitored either. Especially deactivating her phone sounds harsh. I watched porn at that age too. Pretty much everyone does. It's hard to tell if this post is serious because of the movie scene reference lol

    • I have heard those parents are really strict, so this post could be real... I still feel like your sis is very normal.

  • She's just being curious about sex. She's going to find out about anyway.

  • You can't shield her from everything, If she were looking at porn then your parents need to talk to her about it in a calm manner.

  • That is when I started... I don't think it is that abnormal. We have to admit that kids that age DO in fact have a sexuality, denying that and pretending it isn't true or making them feel bad about it isn't the solution.

    • Her entire sexual future will be based on the things that she experiences now, if you make her feel shamed and guilty, you are creating negative sexual associations and she will have a fucked up sex life, I would tread carefully.

    • I know. I mean, it's not like I was gonna tell her what sex was. I even got her a puberty book for her birthday. It's just that I wanted to have the sex talk with her like at a specific time. Tbh, I feel like porn isn't the best way to find out about sex at her age because it's not real life most of the time.

    • it isn't porn in general is not healthy, what I am saying is that making her feel bad about her sexuality is even more unhealthy. You need to be an adult with her and talk to her about what is good and what is inappropriate without making her feel guilty or wrong or ashamed.

  • you guys are overreacting... its normal to be curious at her age

  • I'd be more concerned about who got her to start watching porn. I mean someone must be steering this kid into watching porn. Who are they?

    • THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. Like how did you even find out about this? It's not like I would be like, "Hey sis! Do you know what porn is?" I mean, I only come home for college about twice a month. So I'm not sure who. I'm guessing it has to be her classmates.

    • I'm thinking someone older, but I could be wrong. In any case your parents need to find out.

    • The thing is she's been exposed. Avoid making her feel bad about it or guilty. Whoever introduced the idea is the guilty one.

    • Show All

  • If you're limiting the amount of sexual knowledge she has (even kissing like wtf) then it's obvious that she's going to be curious. 11 is a bit young but still, it doesn't seem like any parental role she has is doing a good enough job teaching her this stuff

    • I know. My parents are kind of old, so I can understand. But I don't know. Still upset

  • Wow that's young.. I would be more mad at your parents.

  • I can understand the horror they felt and that's so much more embarrassing as if it gets out, people will start wondering and label them bad parents.

    • Start by taking the smartphone away and giving her a brick phone. Look at the tyoes of friends she's hanging out with then sit here down and asked her where she learnt/saw that type of thing. Make her know that you'll contact her friends parents and make them aware that this is the sort of things they all get up to. Hopefully she'll confess before it gets out of hand then your parents can proceed with putting the fear of God in her. I know Nigerian parents can be very scary when they are in the mood to.

    • Spot on. I know right. Nigerians parents are scary when mad man. I have to find out who she's hanging out with because I can't. I can tell this porn-watching has distracted her because her grades are also slipping. Like girl. I want her to be closer to God. Overall, I will see what happens.

    • I don't know anyone who didn't watch porn in middle school, I don't think she'll be trahsed... it could depend on the community I guess.

    • Show All

  • Maybe she accidentally came across the sites?

  • Dam, that's compleex... well, it's time to talk about sex with her.
    A nice talk : ) calm and with a smile. No need to go stressed , or argue with her.

    Why those videos exist.
    Why peeople like sex
    Why it is NORMAL that she wants to EXPLORE what's going on

    Eetc

    • Nigerians... now that can be complicated... Are you like your parents or you have a more open mind to the real world? I don't think you need to involve your parents, but you could be the good siister, that will explaain her how stuff work. Like i said later.

    • Lol I'm not like my parents. My sister and I are actually really close. My parents can act, I don't know, traditionalist/close-minded at times. I always advice my sister based on modern times/experiences I've been through. Well, my parents are already involved because my mom is the one that found out. I was going to tell her actually about sex like when she was twelve. But for her to find out through porn and sex tapes, it's just disappointing.

    • Curiosity, where do you live?

  • You made her cover her eyes during kissing scenes? You practically drove her to porn. Over zealous restriction just adds a dark sexiness to whatever you're trying to hide from her. Hahahaha. Oh man, what a mistake that was. Go ahead and deactivate her smart phone. If you do, she'll be dancing on web cams in no time.

    • Yeah it really does, it makes it this dark evilll thing you just need to look at finally.

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