My boyfriend begs me not to leave him every time we have sex?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for two months. Just recently we started to get intimate. Last night was the second time we’ve had sex and I’m not sure if i should talk to him or if it’s just sex talk.

Before having sex my boyfriend told me he was going to put a ring on my finger

Then while having sex is when it got weird.

He asked me “are you going to leave me?”

I said “no baby”

Then he kissed me and said “yes you are they always say that and then leave”

Then he said “I’m trying to make love to you, don’t cover up your chest i love your body”

Then he started asking me again not to leave me that’s when he told me to spell his name out loud

.. he did all of that while we were having sex. He does it everytime we have sex

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

This boy is seriously mental.

1. Never believe anything that a guy tells you when your panties are on the floor.

2. Obviously, he is jam packed to the brim with insecurities.

3. Those comments are mood killers, I would guess.

4. Talk to him when both of you are fully dressed and not headed towards the bedroom. Tell him that he needs to deal with his insecurities and not have such discussions when you are in bed. Suggest that he start seeing a counselor.

5. I suspect that he is right: you will break up with him eventually. If he continues to harangue you with these comments at the worst possible times, you will get tired of acting out re-runs and you will move on.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Well, obviously he has some sort of fear of abandonment.
He needs a guy to take him under his wing to talk some sense into him about how weak, desperate and pathetic he sounds about it. Show some balls. So what if you do leave? Be sad for a bit and then go get you another girl. He is a good catch, tons of women would want him... except for acting pathetic as if you are the one and only woman in the whole solar system he could ever get and if you leave he is destined to be alone forever.
How pathetic is that?
He needs some tough love from a father, a brother, a guy friend or mentor.
That is so weak it makes me have second hand shame.

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

OK, he is Super Insecure from past abandonment issues.

This will never go away and will only cause serious on-going issues in your relationship with him, some of which could even become dangerous.

You now have two choices...

1) Get while the going is good, or...

2) Months or years from now after much heartache say..."I should have listened to Laurie while I had the chance!"

... you decide which it will be

Elsa143 · Accepted Answer

I dont know what kind of a guy he is. He sounds like a sweetheart, emotional and a keeper.
But unfortunately liars and lonely people who want to USE YOU also say the same things.
In my case he was too clingy and insecure because he had no friends, no life plans and no other girl found him attractive. I left him when I realized it. He was also a big liar. Eww I can't believe I dated that ugly shit.

AustinMan · Answer

Talk to him.

devilish-cutie · Answer

he obviously has some problems and is insecure. I think you should disscus it with him outside of bedroom, reassure him and his fears, talk it out with him but also say how you feel and if he is annoying with it in sex...

Paris13 · Answer

Never mind THAT Lingo---Ask hi about the RING THING? xx

sejla · Answer

Ok firstly he gets brownie points for giving you compliments on your body.
He's insecure for whatever reason. Just sit down with him and find out what is going on. Is he generally insecure in life, he lacks experience with relationships or does he have some sort of trauma in life is what you need to find out. If he is a generally nice guy he might need a bit of therapy.

Mystic_Nova · Answer

he's mentally unstable and I actually do support the reality of you leaving and I think you should. People like this rely on you to constantly make them feel good. They are emotional leeches and it will only get worse.

insatiable_curiosity · Answer

It sounds like he has great underlying fear and worries that would help for you to address directly and ask him about. Rather than to simply reassure him, try to ask questions to help bring out why he feels the way that he does.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

major insecurity from a guy that appears to have been dumped a lot. If you love him, reassure him a lot...

spartan55 · Answer

Eh, sorry but he is horribly insecure, and very weird..

FreyaRed · Answer

He tried to convince, maybe to manipulate.

foxrider77 · Answer

Next time he ask for you to spell it out you should spell “I-T’-S-O-V-E-R Omg I said O-V-E-R

mattmanyah2 · Answer

Talk to him... This could be something that he thinks you're into or it could be actual emotions that he feels...

Samoht_Sirrom1 · Answer

Sounds like he has abandonment issues mixed with performance issues... Might want to cut out the sex and help him deal with those first so that he can see that even. without sex you'll still be around