Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health My boyfriend is a 36 year old virgin, should I be worried?
Anonymous
I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 weeks. Just the other day, we both were talking and joking about our past experiences. Well I asked him how many girls he's slept with, and he told me he's still a virgin... this has me worried. It's even more weird that a man his age hadn't had a girlfriend... I'm his first girlfriend. I asked him why he put himself in this position and he told me "I've never cared about women until recently". I think I should dump him, I mean he's very nice but this is kinda strange to me?
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What Girls & Guys Said
28 68We all have our on times to start being sexual.. What women don't get is its far more difficult for a man to get laid.. I think you take the time and get to know him as a man not a virgin.. If you decide to take his virginity it might even be a pleasure experience for you. He will not forget you by any means.. You will be able to mold him into your ideal lover.
um, whats his sexuality? IS he bi but prefered guys? Cause I mean that is really old, how can he just now be into women?
It's uncommon but not unheard of. I know some women his age that are still virgins to. Maybe he's waiting for marriage and has never found the right woman. Regardless, if you liked him before you found this out don't dump him just because of this. That's just stupid in my opinion. That would be like him finding out you've had a boyfriend in the past and dumping you because of it. Stupid right?
Like the other guy who broke up with his girlfriend after three years because he decided he couldn't cope with her sexual past after all and is now looking for a virgin girl. Beware, lol.
I think the thing to think about is: would you want him to discard you if it was YOU who were a virgin and never had a boyfriend?
it's definitely unusual but i don't consider it a deal breaker
If I could give this guy a bro hug, I would. He seriously needs one.
He tells you a (presumably) embarrassing truth thinking you might be the just be first woman who he trusts enough to tell and you're considering dumping him based on that.
Of course you are under no obligation to carry on with him, but please tell him the truth if you dump him and not just randomly dissapear or give him some fake story about 'trying again' with your ex.
It's funny how that if the guy lied about having more sex than he really did... she wouldn't be even thinking about this!
@Prof_Don Oh, but I bet if the guy had said he'd slept with 50 women by 36, then she'd still be thinking of dumping him too. You can't win with some of them.
maybe he had social anxiety and depression before meeting u
Not to sound harsh it it is pathetic to want to break up with someone because of this. Some guys just aren't interested just as sone girls aren't. But if you can't get over it break up with him. He deserves way better.
Just because someone never had a girlfriend or been on a date doesn't make it a bad person. It actually shows that they are careful about who they choose, or maybe they have to work on themselves. May e they were nervous growing up, or shy.
I am 29 and never dated. I have always been socially awkward, felt like I didn't belong anywhere and girls never really spoke to me. Plus, I never knew what to say to them. My interests as a teen were music, playing guitar, writing songs, skateboarding and video games. In my 20's i was still a skateboarder, still played guitar, picked up bass guitar, wrote songs, still played video games. Now in my late 20's I don't really see girls around, I don't know where they are. I don't know what to talk to them about. Would they care that I can make an electric guitar, write songs, do they care that I'm trying to get back in shape, or still trying to find a career?
There is so much more to life than being I a relationship. Heck I am at a point where I don't think I care about women anymore. Never had any luck with them. I still get nervous around them. And now I ha e to worry that a lack of experience is going to stop me from getting one? What kind of shut is that? I would never turn down a girl because she never had a boyfriend. If I liked her, I want her and that's it.
Thus poor guy probably knows that you've already told all of your friends, and probably knows that you and your friends think he's weird. But is he weird or just a nice guy who never cared? Maybe he was shy growing up and girls always passed over him because he was quiet.
If you dont give him a chance, but still like him, then you are just doing yourself a disservice. And you are showing all men that you have standards that are based on what society thinks of you. it means that you are really shallow. it shows that you are scared to try something new. It shows that you are a jerk.
Honestly that's kind of a good thing. That means that
1-you changed him into caring about women and
2-he hasn't slept with ANYONE, meaning you will be the only one and you can count on his loyalty
I'm a virgin at 24, and I can say you never know what he's been through. There may have been circumstances where he never had the confidence, or the opportunity to have sex. Just talk to him about it before flying off the handle.
Out of all seriousness... what IS the problem here? I don't see one.
Is it because he hasn't been "pussy approved" that u see him as "lower value"?
it doesn't matter, think about all the emotional baggage he does't have! A close friend of mine is nearly 40, he is also a virgin, never had a girl friend and he is EASILY!! one of the best people I have ever known! I am amazed some women hasn't snatched him up.
Besides every one has their quirks and issues, dumping some guy because he hasn't fucked enough vaginas just doesn't seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
it just means that he was saving himself for his wife staying abstinence
It's both weird and it doesn't matter.
Just fuck him and then he's not a virgin. What you're doing (instinctively) is relying on "social proof" to determine his value (nobody else wanted him so there must be something wrong with him).
But consider the trap he's in, and the one you're potentially perpetuating (if you decide not to have sex with him because he's a virgin).
It's definitely something to be concerned about. there are just too many hypothesis to consider as to why he's still a virgin, maybe some type of mental disorder or some type of physical or psychological abuse from his mother or care taker making him be angry at women. even his answered leaves too many unanswered questions, it wasn't like he was saving himself for the right woman "he never cared about women before" that is just not normal.
Maybe your next question would be to ask him why he never cared about women before. You want to make a decision without knowing the fully extent of his story.
So give him a blow job and jump on his dick.
Hi,
I voted that it doesn't matter, but... I think that is true until you get to know WHY he has waited so long.
Even if he was butt ugly, he could have got a "lady of the night" to help him out.
It would appear that he is, perhaps, asexual, in that he has no desire for either straight or gay sex.
Best of luck, darl.
Do you have feelings for him at all? If you're considering dumping him over something as insignificant as that, then maybe you should be dating someone you actually care for