Seriously... STOP playing the victim?

[Anonymous]

Everyday I get on this site, it's the same shit from women:

-"Why do all these guys keep sending me private messages? I'm not here for that"

-"My avatar draws too much attention and all these creepy guys keep contacting me via private message."

As a nearly 25 year old virgin male, I am living proof that if a good looking guy doesn't talk to a girl... he will never meet women or get laid.

Men talk to you, because you are good looking, and it is within our nature to make the first move... because we know you will never make the first move to talk to us guys.

Women are more driven by emotion. To get a woman interested, you have to be good looking, but also get them interested in you emotionally. For men, we are very visual creatures, if you either look nice, are very curvy, dress nice, have big boobs, are half naked... you have our attention.

It's just like in real life, I always see women complaining men are staring at them and keep trying to talk to them:

They go to the gym dressed like this:

31.media.tumblr.com/.../...p0i3KM1rmhoano1_250.jpg

"Oh my god... why are all these guys talking to me and staring at me?"

You go to the clubs/bars like this:

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/.../...0d2bef77eb48.jpg

"Oh my god, why won't these men go away?"

You wear yoga pants out in public:

goodpartsmedia.com/.../...Girls-In-Yoga-Pants.jpeg

"Oh my god... all these creepy guys keep staring at me"

And some of y'alls avatars be like this:

www.seriousfiver.com/.../...selfies-13nov30-29.jpg

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT!

Also, ladies... an FYI... if you take your avatar image URL and paste into Google images, people can find your social media sites quite easily (sometimes). Sorry the men think you're beautiful and want to chat with you! It happens.

[CommieDearest]

Okay, I get what your saying and I don't really care too much when people want to talk to me provided they want to talk to me about things other than my appearance. I had this as my avatar...
https://i.imgur.com/oPnqiaF.png?1

And I had to change it after about a week because that one inch of cleavage that I didn't even notice earned me several messages a day asking about my bra size, my sexual preferences, if I wanted dick pictures, and if I want to send naked pics over Skype and what not. THAT is disrespectful and annoying. I wasn't "asking" for it. I like it when people put a face to their name, but I think it's silly that I had to change my picture to something without my boobs in it at all so I wouldn't get constantly messaged for NOTHING.

[jointhepatriarchy]

That's more than an inch of cleavage, cupcake.

[CommieDearest]

@JoinThepatriarchy I'm starting to think you're obsessed.

[jointhepatriarchy]

No, just thought I'd correct your bad measurements. :)

[CommieDearest]

@Jointhepatriarchy 3.bp.blogspot.com/.../i-dont-care.jpg

[jointhepatriarchy]

That's cool. https://www.sharenator.com/image/202403/

[CommieDearest]

@Jointhepatriarchy you keep enjoying those non-virgin whore tits buddy. img.4plebs.org/.../1397349558129.gif

[jointhepatriarchy]

Well since you gave your consent...

www.quickmeme.com/.../...c571e2a7194639ead8db8.jpg

[Negrodamus]

i don't know why but this picture and the one you have now look like two different people to me. Anyhow, they both elicit a double squee from me

[CommieDearest]

@Jointhepatriarchy gross @Negrodamus thanks dude

[jointhepatriarchy]

Relax, cupcake. I'm just trolling. You're not that attractive.

[CommieDearest]

@Jointhepatriarchy oh no my life is shattered :c

[jointhepatriarchy]

Boohoo. www.quickmeme.com/.../...883aebbcc3b8d65946ea0.jpg

[inkstaind35]

I'm sorry but you didn't notice your chest being one if the prominent features if the pic? I call bs. I have a big chest... had it all my life and I know why u choose that pic instead of one if u sitting up in a button up shirt. U thought u looked cute and sexy... why? Cause your cleavage is exposed. Nothing wrong with that... it is a very nice pic and u DO look cute. But come on... if u are going to do it, own it.

[CommieDearest]

@inkstaind35 I can totally tell you know me better than I know myself and I won't convince you otherwise, but I really didn't notice.

[inamorata]

Oh come on, you didn't have to post that picture again. xD You could have just told us about it. And if you put just your face in, that's enough to get messages non stop. If you didn't want messages, you wouldn't put your face in either. Plain and simple.

[CommieDearest]

The haters haven't had their coffee yet lol

[CommieDearest]

@inamorata I keep all of my social media updated with the same picture because I like putting a face to the name when I read other's opinions/questions, so why not do the same? Plenty of people on here have pictures and dislike the creepy messages.

[inamorata]

And I call bullshit. "I like it" is not explanation. "Lots of people do it" is no explanation either. You don't want attention, you do what needs to be to stop it. You want it, you gotta take the bad with the good and not complain. =)

[CommieDearest]

@Inamorata then why aren't you writing this on every opinion akin to mine? lol. I block people when they message me inappropriate things, the ability to stop them doesn't inhibit me from recognizing when someone is being tactless and rude.

[inamorata]

As long as you don't complain about the being rude to other people, all is fine. I picked you because you had a pic actually linked.

[CommieDearest]

@Inamorata Well... the question prompted an opinion/response, I didn't just randomly start ranting about it. I don't really feel as if I should have to not have a picture up (both are completely appropriate by the way) to cater to people with no social graces. As I said, I block them and move along. But why should I not be allowed to contribute to a discussion on a forum... for discussions.

[LastGirlScout]

how dare you have breast and allow them in a photo cupcake? Bitter virgins like jointhepatriachy are always gonna hate on this because it's something which they covet so much and hate seeing, it reminds them that they aren't for them! btw, nice boobs my friend: I shall send an inappropriate message later to make you feel thoroughly ashamed of yourself and you boobies. Funny how guys can show their face on a profile pic and women don't send messages like "man I wanna sit on that all day long!'... weird huh...

[CommieDearest]

@Lastgirlscout I <3 you hahaha. And I'll be looking forward to those messages. media.tumblr.com/tumblr_leqkn9xRcN1qegjjv.gif</a>

[inamorata]

You're mischaracterizing (with why can't I be able to talk on a forum?), my point that says (people will harass accept it and don't complain) because you don't want to address it. That's ok. As long as you're nice about it and don't whine. I was just so amused by your boob pic here with you explaining how you don't want to be harassed, that I had to respond. I'm sorry. xD

[CommieDearest]

@inamorata The point I was making with that WAS my response to that. I don't just run around and whine about it all the time, but the question warranted a response. Not sure why I have to repeat myself because I didn't bow down. Anyway, I'm here for nothing if not to entertain even if unintentionally. So thanks miss.

[Anonymous]

You don't understand. I'm not saying I disagree with some of what you've said like about how girls complain about guys staring but then go out in yoga pants and all that stuff yeah I agree with that but on this website it's really creepy the way some guys talk to us and not to be racist but the creepiest ones are Indians and even if you don't reply they keep sending you messages consistently this one guy has sent me "hi sexy" everyday for the past month and I havnt replied once yet he keeps doing it it's weird and makes me uncomfortable they have no clue how to talk to a woman I was forced to change my avi to the set one gag gives you because I'm sick of it don't talk about something you don't understand

[inkstaind35]

We know what we are doing when we post the pics and dress a certain way. We play dumb and you guys buy it. Just sometimes it gets annoying when guys are rude, pervy, unattractive, or weird. And then it gets super annoying when you have 10 guys who all say the same thing. It's like how can all these people act the same way? You keep hearing the same thing it stops being a compliment, becomes the standard, then we just get annoyed.
Smart dudes, the ones that get us "emotionally attached" say and act different than the pack.

[LastGirlScout]

100% agree with you. I posted a profile pic and accidentally forgot I had boobs and they were in the photo... I did not make that mistake again. I sound sarcastic, and I sort of am, but I also completely agree... but to be honest, creeps are gonna creep if every girl on here had a butt for a face.

[Jimrat86]

Are you only talking about the women and what they complain about on this site specifically? Because from what I've heard from their perspective, a lot of females on dating sites, facebook, etc... complain about complete strangers sending messages that specifically refer to sex right off the bat. I. e what they would like to do to them sexually. A lot of women would be happy to talk to men, but many of them say the creepiest most inappropriate things to them. I can see where it would be offputting. I see girls dressed in revealing clothes and think about all the things I'd love to do to them. That doesn't mean I have to say that to them when they don't even know me.

[woohoo_friday]

Yeeessss, this is exactly it, thank you

[normalice]

you're a virgin? with your high opinion of women I would never have guessed...

[Nuns_in_Heat]

Agreed lol!

[Asker]

my high opinion of women is better than my low opinion of you :).

[normalice]

oh no! the wound!

[livewire73]

As a woman I agree. If I don't want to get hit up I don't post pics. I recently got flooded with IG requests... We all had the same page in common so clearly they saw what they liked and wanted to hit me up. I get it dude!!

[TryingNewThings]

I just recently in the last few hours put up my avi. Before that I was getting messages from guys calling me beautiful. I hadn't had a avatar up and they were calling me beautiful lol and asking if I'd like to meet them, if I'd like to get 'something' started. I started laughing behind my phone.

[Venatrix]

My avatar isn't of me and I still sometimes get those strange messages, my anime girls neck is HAWT

[denisenic01e]

That's fine.. I get you point.. But my tits & ass aren't hanging out in my avatar.. I get messages saying "hey baby you wanna see my huge cock?"...

It gets old. Also, this isn't a dating site. It's for advice. Starting a convo is cool.. Asking if I wanna see a guy's dick is stupid! Lol

[cuteannie]

True and they call you beautiful even without an avatar. Such jokers.

[Theguyoverthere]

The girls you're describing like the attention sadly and tend to repeat the behaviors. They lack the ability to have any true character and resort to sexual photos as such for attention. The ones who truly hate it, do something about it. But the rest just get off on their own whining. Many find subtle ways to get such attention and when they do, they go back into that childish whining mode and then repeat the process. It's really sad.

The one big thing I notice with a lot of girls is when you tell them to take ownership of such an issue, they get pissed off and whiny. I got a girl on my Facebook friends list who posts these kinds of photos. But she never complains about the attention. She even gets criticized by others because of her style but she likes what she's doing. She posts provocative pictures all the time and enjoys the attention. Others will just whine.

[inamorata]

I understand that. That's why I'm not on my profile picture, why I dress rather modestly in real life.
Some girls are beyond silly, I agree.

[TwistedLogic]

Hey!! I demand this post gets deleted immediately, before any woman reads it and buys into it. :P

I love seeing women dress like that, dude. However, that doesn't mean I keep staring at them, breathing through my mouth like a Neanderthal. There are proper ways to express your admiration to people, both men and women. Women are complaining about the ways they are looked at (sexual objects and such), not the fact that men appreciate their beauty.

[been_waiting]

Hahahaha

[woohoo_friday]

Oh my god, thank you so much for saying all this, haha

[SingerAtHeart]

We don't like guys noticing how we look on the outside like the inside.

[TwistedLogic]

@been_waiting :D @woohoo_friday You are welcome. :) @SingerAtHeart That is true, but irrelevant. We are strictly talking about appearances & observing people from a distance. I won't be able to know if you are kind, intellectual, loving, open-minded, etc... from afar.

[existing_not_living]

I only get annoyed when a guy messages me and starts talking weird shit or wants me to sext him. One guy even starting talking about incest with me and how I should do it.

[TryingNewThings]

Lol. I dont think he knew what incest meant

[musicbrain5]

There are definitely people who blow it way out of proportion. That being said, I've never had a revealing avatar up here - even my previous one was of me but there was nothing showing (no cleavage, etc). I still get creepy messages from guys on here saying what they'd like to do to me sexually, or showing me their dicks, or asking me to trade nudes, sexting over messages, all that shit. I just block those guys, but seriously, if I wanted that attention I would go and seek it.

If guys took the time to actually read and look at my profile on here, they'll learn that I'm not single and therefore that should send the message that I'm not interested in dating them either (yep, I have gotten a few offers for dating over the years). That's more on the innocent side, and while I'm flattered, I hope guys realize they're wasting their time.

[wildspirit]

Not cool to post a specific girls avatar. Nuff said..

[Asker]

I found it on Google. Nuff said...

[wildspirit]

I misread 50% of what I "read"... Nuff said

[TrueCountryGal]

I totally agree with this!

[ManaX]

You are exactly right, lol. Your opinions are backed up by psychological evidence.

[Asker]

Damn straight!

[Deft_maiden]

Lolz... Smh

[FlyingTurtle]

... I think I was just born with a natural guy-repellent sprayed all over me. That or I lack assets noticeable enough or not present at all for guys to harass me about. Or I just have too many flaws. Because I am almost never approached by guys, online or otherwise.
Isn't it kind of sad that the fact that guys don't really notice me makes me feel like I must not be attractive?

[Negrodamus]

lol, hey i know how you feel.. but with the opposite gender. But uh... it seems to me that most girls dont like it anyways

[mutedaisy]

My avatar is a manwha character... Korean comic book._.

[PrettyBama]

Yay! Another woman hater 😂

[Asker]

I don't hate women. I am just being honest. Here is my belief: -If a guy is constantly harassing you and being a prick... commenting on your body in a sexual way... tell the asshole off and BLOCK him. -If a guy is just being respectful, flirting with you playfully and trying to make conversation... how does that make him creepy? -Theirs a fine line between being a prick and just making conversation, but a lot of women seem to take that out of proportion. And they cry wold when every single guy in the world contacts them for their avatar or looks. If you don't like it, just change it up or don't reply. Don't whine about it.

[PrettyBama]

1. How do you know they didn't block a person? 2. You can read people. Intuition. It's something set in place for survival. Every one has it. Not just women. You can get creepy vibes from people... And it has nothing to do with their looks like people suggest on gag. Some of the sexiest guys I ever met were creepy. Their personality and demeanor says yeah i appear to be a nice guy but if I ever get the chance I'll drug and rape you lol 3. Those are attention whores.

[Klaatu51]

women must be stronger than the guys,,,, yeah!!

[BertMacklinFBI]

well its the internet so they have as much a right to mention it as the guy who messages them I guess lol.

[SingerAtHeart]

ctually that's no true when you said guys have to make the first move. I gained up enough confidence and told my crush I liked him. He is sort of my friend for a year now.

[Asker]

Let's be honest. How many women actually approach men though? A very, very small amount do.

[SingerAtHeart]

True. But sometimes there is one of us that stands out to tell their crush and make the first move.

[Mesonfielde]

I have said it before and I said it again, if you get creepy PMs all you need to do is block them. It is not that difficult.

[been_waiting]

I agree to an extent. I think if a girl goes out she shouldn't complain if a guy is trying to talk to her. Especially if she's dressed very proactively. Like, that's human nature, a guy will talk to you. But its never okay to stare at a girl's chest or ass blatantly, nonstop and shamelessly. Quit! Its rude. But yeah if the girl is half nude she's setting herself up for that. So its not that she has no responsibility for it. But its also not okay to message a girl and say "wanna see my dick." Both parties are to blame lol.

HOWEVER girls can go out dressed normally, minimal to no cleavage showing, ass covered... and still get uncomfortable creepy stares, people smacking her ass. Its fucking rude and she didn't ask for that.

[been_waiting]

And by the way I don't have a pic up and have still gotten pervy messages

[LucyColes]

With my profile pic im not showing off my ass, or my boobs, or looking seductive or anything. Yet i still get these messages. Luckily I'm thick skinned online, but its still annoying

[abundantlyrich]

Lol, even if no pics, girls will still get messages from Indians and Turkish users.

[Asker]

Racist. Lol

[abundantlyrich]

Really? Cos i get them msging me now and then. They love my stench.

[cuteannie]

the Indian men are the worst and irritating lot.

[Octagon]

I understand what you are saying, but men should exercise self control. Also you'll find a lot of GAG users won't have their profile picture up and won't have a 'provocative' picture on display and will still get hammered with perverted questions and messages.

I'm a visual person, I'm a 25 year old Virgin and yet I have never felt the need nor would I ever send a user a perverted question or ask them for their measurements. Also I'll talk to any girl regardless if I find her attractive or not. I treat women like I treat men as humans, not as objects for my own gratification.

[AidenBlue]

This is very very true.

However what women are really saying/doing is 'I know I'm dressing for attention but I only want attention from the 1% hottest guys. Why does every guy notice?'

The funny thing is the top 1% of guys have their pick of the crop and will be going after the classiest ones that don't dress like this but still have great bodies.

If you don't like the fish you are attracting - change the bait.

[ollymay123]

fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/.../...856465_n.jpg
Finally someone said it

[Negrodamus]

I think if you're a girl, and you're being harassed... you need to become familiar with the block button. Simple. Done. Finito!

[Asker]

Truth. See that's the difference. If a guy is just trying to talk to you (Without being rude), why bitch about it? If you're being harassed, block that asshole!

[Negrodamus]

you know, id honestly love to know the reason why women are downvoting my answer lol. So you think its a problem that guys are harassing you, but at the same time you don't want to block them? Creeps will always be on the internet. There are tools available for every man and woman on here to prevent messages from the unwanted. Its reeeeally not that complicated

[CommieDearest]

Hear hear. I usually give them the ol' "annnnd muted." The block button and I are well acquainted, on both sides.

[Negrodamus]

@CommieDearest I can always count on you to understand!

[thewho1975]

Apoligies for saying but you do have a appeal which to most guys would be very attractive, however it would be a shame for you if you lost that by coming across somewhat snobby?

[jointhepatriarchy]

For real, they do everything they can to garner attention from men then bitch when they get it.

[kangy]

I have to agree somehow, if dont want unwanted attention here then dont put up pictures especially provocative ones. Guys are visual when they see attractive face or body they bound to stare, girls do the same but in subtle way hahah. I kmow i like to look at gd looking face and body.

[Tokana]

Well said. Its biology, and we can't help it. Just like how dog is programmed to sniff, we're programmed to look.

[Johnyoo]

I agree with this... does that make me a misogynist? ... If you think so, you're ignorant.

[HokkaidoWolf]

Your post is very nonsensical. But I guess you're never get laid either. Lmao

[Asker]

Sure. Only if you care about sex XD. I care about achievement and improving my life. Sex doesn't change who you are.

[RedThread]

Well does a guy get harassed when he dresses a certain way or is clothed a certain way? I've never once been chatted up inappropriately for the way I dress.. It's men with a total lack of respect for the opposite sex and lack of self control that have to change not a woman's fashion sense. A woman shouldn't have to fear dressing a certain way because they'll get harassed and cat called. This "boys will be boys" immature bullshit has to change.

[RedThread]

Oh what I meant by the boys will be boys bullshit is when both men and women expect men to be pigs based on how a girl is dressed. Men have self control just like women do.. Anyway we accept a lesser behavioral standard for men than we do for women and both men AND women are to blame for it. It's time to expect a higher standard for male behavior instead of forcing women to dress a certain way because men can't keep their dicks in their pants.

[COCOCHANEL]

i apologize for my overly sexy avatar

[Nuns_in_Heat]

As soon as I saw your avatar I was like aw hell no she's gone to far! I mean seriously look at that fkn bow-tie!

[COCOCHANEL]

i had no idea it would cause such an uproar

[Nuns_in_Heat]

You destroyed my virgin MIND!

[inamorata]

I just came.

[COCOCHANEL]

i'm such a troublemaker

[TigerMC]

Look, I do not know what you are upset about? Everyone likes to be complimented, it is human nature. So if a girl is out looking nice and pay her a compliment, so be it. If a guy is dressed nice and a girl compliments him, so be it. Everyone wants attention of some sort whether they deny it or not.

[carnix]

er... OK.

I agree looks matter, but then it's subjective, we place different value on it.

And then it further depends on how confident the girl is.

and to cut to the chase... humans say things we don't mean, a lot. women who post hot pics and then complain do so because they secretly like and WANT the attention. may seem weird but it's how it goes...

[cuteannie]

Well, I am getting that too from an Australian guy here who is quite a creep.

[zombiebabe]

i know who you are talking about i blocked him too

[cuteannie]

He keeps on threatening and harassing girls here. Some other girls here also told me that.

[dev765]

They love the attention they just say they dont.

[SingerAtHeart]

We like guys to notice our inside not the ouside and what we wear.

[Cooliobrotoetho]

I'm sure you're very good looking, Mr. Anyonomous.

[Asker]

I look like Justin Bieber.

[Anonymous]

yup i highly agree

[Anonymous]

Yeah, some girls do everything to draw attention and I think they complain about this because it doesn't attract the good men, the ones they're attracted to. And others will just never be satisfied by the attention people have for them. It can be caused by parents that weren't present. Anyway, this is something in their personnality they can't change, as our own defects.
A little of reverse psychology.

[Anonymous]

Well I can see your point in a way. It's not just this site, but other sites as well. However, I don't even have a profile picture. I just use the default for loner and I've had those kinds of messages from guys. They don't even know what I look like. I don't mind having conversations with them. If someone PMs me with the intent of just talking I don't care, I'll talk back. I just hate the dick pictures. I actually had one guy on here get pissed off at me for not showing him my picture. He took offense to it and said he knew I would act like that because all women act like that with him. I told him it had nothing to do with him, it was because I don't like showing my picture not even in private messaging. He still seemed to take offense and he acted as if all women do this to him. He even has an insulting username for himself, so I think it says more about himself then women.

[Anonymous]

I think it sort-of goes both ways, in my opinion.
Women need to be more conscious of what they wear, because let's face it. Right or not, if you're walking down a dark alley in a tube top and mini skirt, something bad can very likely happen. On here, I don't think it's an issue if a guy just messages a girl. I only get irritated if a guy is bluntly saying "Hey, want to see my penis?", because that's disrespectful.
That being said, it's not just women's fault either. Men do need to exercise self control. My picture doesn't show anything bad at all, and yet I still get messages from creepy guys.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand. If you want to have sex and you're 25... why not just go to a bar and just!!!

[Asker]

Because I don't want to have sex with just anyone. I'm not looking for a girlfriend of wife. I just don't want to give it up to someone I am not attracted to.

[Anonymous]

That's Bull.. Pretty, ugly, fat , skinny, some men on here just want a "good time"

[bettybets]

Exactly! The men that message women aren't looking for a date, they're looking for nude/sexy photos to get their rocks off. They're looking for sexual pleasure. It'd be different if someone messaged you to try to get to know you but I doubt that's happening or else women wouldn't be complaining about it. And I'm not "playing the victim" by saying this because it hasn't happened to me (knock on wood).

[Opinion Owner]

You're so right and they don't understand because no males have reported females throwing themselves at them, they'd actually enjoy that

[Anonymous]

Best question/rant ever - expect angry women reporting you or downvoting or whatever for the truth :)

[Asker]

Yeah. I know. I don't care what they think XD.

[Ivy_Nicole]

that is exactly your problem almost 25 years old virgin. You don't care what woman think, you are just very frustrated questioning us because you didn't have sex and you see beautiful girls everywhere.

[Opinion Owner]

@Ivy_Nicole attacking sexuality or lack thereof doesn't constitute an ARGUMENT.

[Anonymous]

I can see both sides of this. I agree that provocative photos draw attention and people should realize that. But it's really not what this site is for and some guys do message some really sleazy stuff.

[Anonymous]

If you look like a slut you will get treated like one.

[Anonymous]

Lmao!! This guy has explained it all :-) *clap clap*

[Anonymous]

Jesus christ. What, like guys are just uncivilized animals who can't stop themselves from staring? That's bullshit. Maybe instead of teaching girls that they need to "cover themselves up" to avoid unwanted and inappropriate attention, we should be teaching boys to be a little more respectful, and maintain some self-control.

[dartmaul15]

"Respectfull" "self controll". I'm sorry to shatter your ilusion but we're stoneage people pretending to live in the 21st century. Our bodies are in fact still stuck in the ston age. It's instincs for boys to look for a propper mate, and they look for signs of health, just as it is an instinct for girls to seek protection. Here's the deal, if a guy looks at you it means you look healthy. We are hardcoded to look, and demanding us not to is forcing us to ignore what we are. Sure, respect an self controll are virtues, but if you intend to flip out every time someone looks at your arse... Well, it's going to take a few million years before guys can potentially avoid that (unless you genetically modify humanity). Here's the deal, men will always look at what's apealing, same will you girls. Perving over someone isn't good, but you should accept some looking. Hell, take it as a compliment if we look at you! That's what we do if we feel girls looking at us in approval!

[Opinion Owner]

I don't flip out everytime someone looks at me. Sometimes yeah, it's flattering. But if a guy is leering at me or sending me inappropriate messages, then I have every right to feel objectified and offended. And I don't understand why any guy would want to make a women feel uncomfortable like that. Or even think it's okay to make a woman feel uncomfortable like that. The fact that some do means that they think of women as property and objects as opposed to real people with real feelings who deserve respect. And that's really pathetic.