Settle this debate: Should all guys tell all girls they are good at blowjobs (even when they aren't)?

[AmandaYVR]

You must watch the video in order to vote.
It's only 4:30 min.Think about this one, men.

I watched this video a few months ago and considered asking a poll about it then, but didn't.

Today, I saw another question asked by a 22 year old female who is faking orgasms with her boyfriend because, like ~ 40% of females, she cannot orgasm through penetration/intercourse.
There are about 100 blue comments on that topic, so I know you guys care about it, and are unified, all against it, you do not want girls lying to you about this.
I feel as you do, and always have. Girls should never lie about this.
My answer on that:
"It's about 40% of women who don't orgasm through intercourse.
You tell him. I repeat, you tell him. Do not lie about this. NO man wants to be lied to about this.
Then you teach him how to make you cum (using whatever means necessary.)
It's no big deal. Doesn't mean intercourse doesn't still feel fantastic."
I fake an orgasm so that my boyfriend doesn’t know I can’t cum from just penetration. 80% of women can’t, so what do the rest of you do?

But what I'm interested in is how you feel about men lying to women, also pretending to have enjoyed sex more than they actually did.

They are both a sexual lie. They are both said to make the partner feel good, better, about their sexual skill, and about the experience in general.

In the case of the video, the topic is which communication technique used towards the blowjob-giver, ultimately results in more, AND BETTER, blowjobs (and orgasms) for men?

Shower_lovers_-_1_-_Picture_Giovanni_Dall'Orto

(Should I tell you my opinion?
I don't believe in lying about sexual satisfaction. Doesn't matter which gender is lying. I think the truth should be told. Always delicately, tactfully, of course...)

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I think people in relationships should be honest about each other’s sexual performance if there is an issue to be addressed. It’s one thing if it’s some casual hook up or even friends with benefits, you may not feel comfortable criticizing someone that you’re not emotionally invested in.


If you’re in a relationship, it should be discussed immediately. If she is not good at blowjobs, riding , throwing it back, etc; as the boyfriend, you’re supposed to help her improve otherwise YOU’RE just as responsible for your satisfaction being mediocre. There is multiple avenues to satisfy a person, some men like their balls being played with while others might enjoy a full deep throat situation. You gotta communicate that for the sake of your relationship.

[DJB72]

Let's be honest here: there's no such thing as a "bad" blow job unless she somehow bites your cock off.

Yes, some are better than others, like a girl who thinks her teeth need to play more of a prominent role. Or the girl who's so naive she thinks she is supposed to actually blow instead of suck.

These rare occasions aside, while any girl could improve technique for the individual guy she's with - because just because someone else liked that doesn't mean ut floats my boat - it comes down to honest communication.

[beenthereguy]

Here is an answer you didn't expect. Blow jobs are for the women that REALLY ENJOY the RAW intimacy of a man coming in HER mouth. That is HER choice. The woman that can look up at her man and SAY, "I LIKE the taste of your cum" are STUNNINGLY sexual. NEVER pretend ladies. Facials are for the WOMEN that enjoy the RAW & VISUAL JOY in that (like wifey). THAT is PRIMAL! That is far more intimate than intercourse. It says, "I accept you as a man in the most PRIMAL way possible. Do you WANT to take a pict ---OMG!".

I had a relationship with a "hot wife" in 1977 that made it clear right from the beginning:
1. I don't do "orals" FOR MEN!
2. ORAL is something men do FOR WOMEN!
3. While you are in THIS relationship, I OWN ALL of your cum. YOU will be the cum EATER in this relationship (I had NO IDEA I could even DO THAT, yet) except for times when I choose to take it in my mouth just for some variety. MY husband likes seeing that. You may get to take some PICTS for him.
4. Women get all "wet" and sexy when they FUCK! MEN are SUPPOSED to lick them AFTER they FUCK! THAT has been NATURE's way for centuries. OMG!
4. Since I will only see you once a week, you must tell me how many times you masturbated and what you were thinking about (when I ask). IF it was NOT about ME, it had better be about something you WANT ME to DO TO YOU ---like TIE YOU UP!!
5. For 3 days BEFORE OUR sessions, you will NOT masturbate! YOU must be HORNY when you enter the motel room. Your cock better stand up at the mere THOUGHT of ME or the SIGHT of me. I will take PICTS for my collection (also viewed by my husband)!

SHE was right. The JOY of licking cum FOR HER, by her COMMAND, even WITH PICTS (with a mask on), was truly PRIMAL (amazing)! The JOY of being part of someone else's pleasure can be STUNNINGLY PRIMAL! MEN don't get a chance to be so damned SUBMISSIVE to a woman's STRONG DESIRES! I was totally ENSLAVED by HER DESIRES and SHE KNEW IT! I didn't miss blow jobs AT ALL.

[beenthereguy]

Oh, 1 little detail left out. She said, "By MY COMMAND you will EAT my husband's cum" with my husband's knowledge. OMG!

[AmandaYVR]

Ok, settle down now. Don't make me regret asking this question. Read the room. This is about analyzing communication, not an invite to regail us with your past sexcapades. This was TMI. Tone it down, or you're going to get blocked by a lot of pinks. That's how this will end. And sorry to burst your bubble, but 'facials' are swallowing, and even many blowjobs, are mostly for the guy, not the girl. Do girls get turned on doing it? Yes. Is being in control, the giver, hot? Yes. But don't delude yourself into thinking it was women who came up with the idea of shit being squirted into your eyes, nose, and mouth. You try it. It's not comfortable. Even a dog will shake it's head when you spray a bottle of water into it.

[beenthereguy]

OK, thanks for the info about TMI! I am new to this site. I am in total agreement with you. I also thought facials were a contrived event for men. With many selfies out there, I conclude that women enjoy their man and sex and that is a GOOD THING! The "regailing" is about a woman that created a once in a lifetime stunning relationship in which I could be TAUGHT about sex at age 30 and after 7 years of marriage. I didn't concur anyone. SHE ENSLAVED me to her will. THAT is the stunning part. I thought this site was about sexuality. HER words would make most men BLUSH! I am not sure where to go from here.

[AmandaYVR]

It's ok, that's why I told you. Because you're an Xper1 and maybe you are still finding your way around. The origin of the facial is that it was a way to pick up both the cum shot AND the woman's reaction, all in one. Then it became a popular kink/desire BY MEN. And some men transferred this expectation to the girls, and then girls (particularly young ones who are eager to be desired, feel a bit insecure about their worth) started feeling pressure to conform to what they were being lied to is some new normal. On the flip side, I know it turns some men on. I know it is about complete and total acceptance. And why is that? Because humans don't like having things thrown in their face, getting in their eyes, etc. So let's not be delusional here, men. I personally find it the one absolutely disgusting act. All that aside, it is him marking her as his territory, his possession. Some men will disagree with that. But other men have admitted to exactly that. Your story is more appropriate for a question whose topic is 'the best sex you've ever had', 'best lover and why', 'dirty talk', 'female doms', that kind of stuff.

[beenthereguy]

OK, thanks. Got your point about being a little out of place for your question. I was in agreement with you about the facial thing. I always though oral sex for men and especially the facial a "contrived event" for men's pleasure. I certainly hoped the women were enjoying it or at least getting paid very well. I didn't understand that kind of submissiveness. Sandra Otterson didn't start till about 2008. Here is the deal, I had a very erotic and aggressive woman GIVE ME a facial in 1977! I ADORED HER for it! I UNDERSTOOD the RAW joy of submissiveness!

[DaveJord]

Okay let me be honest here... I have never had a bad blow job. That is it was so bad that I did not enjoy it on some level. But some blow jobs are definitely better than others. Some of my best orgasm have come from blowjobs. But it is a talent and it takes a women dedicate to wanting to get you there. And honestly oral sex in general is about the most selfless act you can do sexually for your partner.

I am kind of in the middle on this one... because I have never had a blow job so bad that I was like no you never have to try that again. But on the hand yeah, if she wanted to get better at it I would encourage that process. So I always complement her and do my best to express appreciation and then try to tell her some things I like when a girl gives a guy a blow job to improve upon the experience.

But I would never tell a girl she's bad at it... not at all. And I would not say I lie to them either about it.

[Lliam]

That was such a funny video. And they both made good points, but I lean toward 'A' in the poll.

Here's my thing: First, did you cum? If not, and it was because of her lack of skill or enthusiasm, it might be necessary to to stroke her hair, thank her, say that it wasn't so great and explain why. I'd be encouraging. I would never say she was terrible or say anything mean or resentful. After all, at least she tried. She just needs to learn.
But if you did cum, then she wasn't terrible. I'd just praise her and say "That was so good!", not "You are great at blowjobs." That should encourage her not to give up. She'll be happy that she pleased you.

As she gives more blowjobs, you can give her subtle instructions. Practice makes perfect. The only thing that would stop her from becoming amazing would be inhibition. For instance, if she is actually grossed out, doesn't want to lick balls or get cum in her mouth. Another thing that would make her hate blow jobs would be being an ass hole and using force to skull fuck or gag her.

The girls who give the best blowjobs think cocks and balls are wonderful. I suppose guys who think pussies are wonderful perform the best cunnilingus, too. They just revel in the experience. I've heard women say that sucking cock makes them wet. Now THAT'S a woman!

I would be a bit of a turn off if she never learned to enjoy it and do it eagerly and hungrily. If she only did it out of a sense of duty, it would be similar to fucking out of a mere sense of duty.

Another frequent question is, "Do you care if she spits or swallows?" I think it's important to swallow. It's a total turn on. In my opinion, if she spits, it says that she is actually grossed out. It makes the guy feel like she performed a distasteful task just to please him. On the other hand, if she swallows, she's a boss. At minimum, it says that she can take whatever he dishes out. But it may also say that she craves every part of him, is gratified, and enjoys the experience as much as he does. She revels in it.

Sex is all about sticky, slippery fluids, right? We swap saliva. Sweat and juice coat our bodies when we fuck. A person who doesn't love that can't be a top notch sex partner.

[bigman662]

The first time I had sex with my girlfriend (now wife) 15 hears ago and I asked her if she swallowed her reply was fucking amazing!!! She said, " I swallow bc my mom always said that if you're gonna suck on a straw then you're gonna drink the drink"!!! I don't enjoy blowjobs if they don't swallow it just seems to take away from the whole experience

[Lliam]

@bigman662. I agree. Whether she does it matter of factly or as if she is gratified, I overflow with admiration and gratitude. I love it when she licks her lips and gives a smile of pride and satisfaction. I just want to take her in my arms, kiss her, and tell her that she is a treasure.

[ohshee]

Okay before I watch this I want to give you my answer because I don't want to be persuaded one way or the other of what the video is about out of every single blow job that I've ever had they were okay they were good but out of every single blow job that I've ever had I've had one it sent me to the roof in the day that I got that made me realize no matter how good I think I am in the bedroom you can always be better so first of all it's a blowjob I'm getting it so I'm happy so I give it a star just because it was a blow job. But out of every single blow job that I've ever had I've only had one great good blow job and this is why I always say I like to make it about the girl I don't care if she sucks my dick I want to please her by making love to her I want to get her off if she likes sucking cock she can suck it for a few minutes but I want to get down I want to get busy taking care of her because that's what makes me happy and by the way guys like blow jobs all the time it's because you're fucking lazy and they don't want to put in any work to get the girl up now I will watch the video

[StrongMale]

No. But be gentle about critiquing the oral sex skills of the woman who is on her knees doing her best to pleasure your penis with her mouth. I am all about honesty, so I would never lie to a woman about such a thing. Instead, my approach is to gently encourage and direct a gal who is sucking my dick by saying things like, “yeah babe, that’s it.. that’s amazing.. lick my balls.. that feels so hot.. faster.. slower.. go deep”.. etc. This way, I can be honest without being a jerk.

[ItsMeElliana]

I think being honest and telling the truth is better than lying about it

[Bluemax]

Here's an ancillary topic that this brings up.

Humans are peculiar. Hardly any human alive or who has ever lived or those who will live wants the absolute truth always. Even when they tell you that's what they want.

Most humans are, at some time or another in their lives, white lie hunters. I am guilty of this too. What seems to be a request for the truth, is in fact a request for a white lie.

In my twenties, a friend of mine had been dieting and she had lost some weight. She asked me if she looked like she lost weight. I replied, " No, but you look great. I don't think you need to lose weight." All of that, I assure you, was one bajillion percent the truth. She proceeded to cry and get upset. It's as if she didn't hear the second part of my answer. My other friends, male and female, when I told them this story remarked I was the stupidest man who ever manned. The truth, they maintained, was *not* what she wanted to hear. In spite of her begging me to tell it.

In the initial years of their marriage, my friend's wife would frequently ask my friend what he thought about some other woman's appearance. It could be another friend, her sister, her cousin, or an actress on TV. It didn't matter who it was, "She's alright" was the *only* acceptable answer, and thus the only answer she ever got from him, even if his pants burst into flames. He would reply, "she's alright" even when asked about Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Carmen Electra, the entire Pussycat Dolls, etc. I know for a fact he finds these women very attractive. Moreover, my friend's wife cannot be so dumb as to *actually* think that he finds these women just "alright. " She knows it's a lie. She *requesting* a lie every time she asks, "Do you think she's hot?"

I know I got off subject here, but it is somewhat related to your question.

To answer your question, I'm somewhere between A and B, tending more towards B but for different reasons than what Joe gives.

[DonkeyDan]

I'd never tell a girl she's good at something she isn't, but I'd never tell her she terrible at it and hurt her feelings. There are ways to communicate things to people in a nice positive manner without being an ass.
I would talk to her about her technique and make some suggestions as to how to do it differently and maybe better, and talk about the things that I like in a blowjob. Similar to in the video, I've had to teach someone how to suck my dick before, and its kind of exciting.
Brilliant video too, funny as hell.

[NathanDavis]

Never lie... especially when it comes to sex

also, there's absolutely no need to go to any extremes as in "you suck, really BAD!!" lol

as many other things in this life, a proper communication will lead you into better
things, including improvement... let's just not be lazy

[Lynx122]

A little positivity never hurt ^^

[Dargil]

If I cum, she was good. If I don't, I'll coach her.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I agree with joe

[anon1903]

I'd personally be turned on if he taught me how to do it right. Not afraid to learn. I might be kinky, but I'm also a loser. I don't attach my performance skills w ego, if I'm bad then I'm bad.

[exitseven]

I picked A but in reality I have never had a bad one.

[Redstang88]

Hmm, interesting question. I’ve been there, wouldn’t tell her she was bad but I couldn’t bring myself to lie and say it was great. Guess I kinda lean more towards option A?

[Ironic_Method]

Joe. Every girl I've been with except two say they have amazing blowjobs skills when they reaaaally don't. Honesty is always best.

If a girl is faking an orgasm a guy is going to think he's better in bed than he is. She does get to cum and he think he's doing a good job.

In both cases people are lied to and are frustrated.

[GlassTop]

if you lie telling her she’s good, she’ll get confused why you aren’t cumming.

[Loveisgirthy]

It can be better is my go to. That way they always fightin it tryna up their best game

[AmandaYVR]

I hope you say that with a satisfied smile on your face because otherwise that's just wicked game playing. What you sound is ungrateful.

[Loveisgirthy]

Nah just dead ass look straight at her with no expression. Then I might tackle her and give her my appreciation

[AmandaYVR]

You need a dom who doesn't put up with that shit. I'm glad you eventually show your appreciation though.

[Loveisgirthy]

I'd like a dom. Women are too submissive here.

[blueflameleo]

Yeah u should tell them my dick is almost 9 inches and it’s really hard for me to find someone that can open there mouth that big so I can get a good blow job to be honest I don’t think I’ve ever had a good blow job because the teeth get in the way maybe I need to find a pretty girl with no teeth I don't know but yes I tell them all well they know because I don’t finish in there mouth ever because teeth hurt

[clampfan101]

Be honest and willing to try to improve.

[Valso]

Hahahaha, what if I don't like blowjobs and don't let her do it?

[AmandaYVR]

Then you haven't experienced a truly great one? Why don't you like them?

[Valso]

Because I don't deel anything. I've never met a girl that can make me feel anything from the BJ, so what's there to like?

[AmandaYVR]

Why would your dick be sensitive enough to enjoy intercourse but not to enjoy a mouth. Doesn't make physiological sense. The two main reasons some guys don't enjoy them is 1. trauma, and 2. bad technique on the girl's part. Anyway, whatever, never mind.

[Juxtapose]

My rule of thumb is that I don't play mind games with adults. We are not teenagers anymore, it's time we buck up and have serious conversations about what we want and what we expect from each other.

[AmandaYVR]

Damn right. 👌

[AimeeKyle]

I think it is a little bit of both. Always remain positive…and also provide feedback. If they care how you feel…. they will want to make it better for you. And really…. I’m not sure I have ever had a “bad” blowjob….. just ones I liked better or MUCH better.

[StickStickity13]

I can lie, but if I don't cum then it's awkward because it's obvious she's not that good

[LegendaryIcon]

should girls tell guys they're good at eating out, even if they aren't?

[Raaj4you]

Some don't give Bj at all.

[bananathunder]

i have never told a girl she was bad at anything in the bedroom... can't gain anything from doing that

[driven159]

Have good communications is key if you need to teach each other to do better

[krin_m]

I voted A, but there are good blowjob givers and average blowjob givers in reality.

[AmandaYVR]

That's good to hear. So, average, and good, but no bad, eh.

[krin_m]

Yep! In my opinion there is no such a thing as a bad blowjob unless she internally bites you hard. ;-) Thankfully that never happened to me!

[Yellovv]

I like to tell truth allways..

[Mike923]

If I didn't like the way a girl was giving me a blowjob, I let her know. I would want the same thing if she didn't like the way I was performing oral sex on her. Talk things through with each other to what feels right and and turns you on.

[Steven022]

Well... I hope it is not going to be taken as racist but some girls have big soft lips. And the other ones can't beat them whatever they may try. Fact.

[Anonymous]

Honesty is always best. If he or she doesn't know how to make you feel good, it's always best to teach them, but do it with kindness.

Faking orgasms is despicable.

[Anonymous]

That’s a tough one but I think she is right because they will keep doing it and get better at them anyway. I wish I could find a girl that actually likes doing them and mostly does that

[Anonymous]

All women think they give the world's best head even when they are awful. And just because one guy they had loved one particular trick or another doesn't mean all guys like that trick while they might prefer another. Thing is you NEVER tell a woman she gives bad head if you ever want her to put it in her mouth again. You might suggest a technique you like but don't criticize the one she does badly. Then react enthusiastically when she uses suggested technique and she will start using it and the old one will be abandoned or used less frequently. Now you're getting good head and she didn't get insulted and stop head altogether. Enjoy it for now-you know the difference between your job and your wife? Your job still sucks after 2 years...