Should I open up to my mom about being used for sex?

My mom and I are really close but I don’t know if can tell her that my boyfriend used me for sex. I don’t want her to be disappointed in me and she can’t help noticing that I feel very down these days. Should I keep hiding it to myself or open up to her? What do you guys think?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Lemme put it like this... "How would u feel if someone u love very much would behave sad and different and she is not telling you why?" It would kill you.

    Your mom is dying to know whats happening to you. Trust me... moms KNOW when somethings up with their kids. Just be honest and open up to her.
    She might cry or be pissed for some minutes. But remember that she's also human. She has feelings. She deserves a chance to "feel".
    But the very fact that she noticed that you're down is a fact that she really cares and loves you
    Just stop torturing her and yourself. Tell her, cry on her shoulders... hell... curl up in her arms and cry like a baby.
    You both will feel better afterwards, instead of this limbo that you both are in right now.

    • Let us know how it went. We're genuinely concerned about you on this one.

  • What do you mean with "used" for sex? Are you getting raped? Or are you giving conscent and enjoy the sex aswel? Is your "boyfriend" truly your boyfriend or someone you call "boyfriend" while he only contacts you when he needs to get laid?

    • All details described in my first question😞

    • @sugar18 Well, the physical aspect of this was him not using you. You gave conscent. So he took what you allowed him to take. The question is, were you hoping to become boyfriend and girlfriend? I assume yes. Did you communicate this with him? Because if you two communicated about being a couple? Were you even a couple to begin with? Or was that all in your own head? Because if you two were officially together, and he ran back to his ex like the coward dog he is, then yes, he did use and mislead you. It's a shame you had to learn this the hard way. Losing your virginity to some dude who you were only a rebound for. Take this as a lesson to not get with guys who didn't take the time to be single and get over their ex. In other words, don't ever be a rebound. Do communicate this with your mother. at least she needs to know.

Most Helpful Girls

  • If you have never talked about sex before, you can just say "he's using me" and she'll probably get what you mean. If you have talked about sex, and you feel comfortable to tell her, it might not be so bad.

    Moms have had sex too, and those are women in my generation who have been hurt and used just like many others have experienced. She'll know what you mean even if you don't get graphic about it. Feelings about relationships are pretty universal. She'll know what you're going through, and probably have the right things to tell you.

    • Thank you so much ❤️

    • No problem my girl, and you always have us moms and non-moms here who are her age or so that can help you whenever you have a question.

  • I say tell her

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 41
  • If you and your mom are really close, she would be more disappointed in you if you made her feel that you don't trust her enough to confide in her. I think it would be best if you did, since you need all the support she can give you right now. She has always been there for you before, right? Don't ever lose that by starting to distance yourself from those that do care about you.

  • It’s a hard conversation, but if the stress of keeping that from her is truly weighing on you, then tell her. She was your age once too, and who knows what she went through that you could relate to. That talk and her advice could be exactly what you need💛

  • It's not a nice topic, but if you are feeling down, motherly care might be what you need. She's your mother, she probably has friends who have had similar experiences, talk with her and maybe she will be able to help you with it!

  • There’s no way she’ll be disappointed in you. She’ll be disappointed in him. If y’all are super close I would tell her. If you feel uncomfortable doing so, then reach out to a close girl friend for advice.

    • We are close but I don’t know how she would react to this thing, it’s why I feel that i need to talk to her but also don’t want her to hate me

  • depends your mother might throw you out of the house if she found out... depends on what kind of sex you had how it happend... it's a bad situation... how many times did you have sex with him?

  • No one can use you for sex unless you let them. Maybe what you should be telling your mom is how you were played for a chump?

  • If you are not concerned about your mom being judgmental, then you should tell her.

  • Open up to her. She will give you tips on how to watch out in the future and say that sex isn't a big deal

  • It depends on who your mom is as a person. If she would be helpful then fine, if she will make it worse, then leave it alone, we are your friends.

    • Thank you so much this means a lot to me ❤️😞

    • No problem.

  • It depends on your relationship with your mom. How do you think she will react?
    If you feel like you won't have a supportive reaction, it may be better for you to not talk about it because you may end up very hurt to not have support from your mom.
    If you know she will listen and support you, then you should tell her cause she is your mom and I think she would want to be there for you during a difficult time.
    If you need to talk about it, and I think it is important for you to not keep it to yourself, maybe you could consider a psychologist or a professional for those topic.
    Anyways, stay stong, I'm sending you a lot of love and support

  • It's best not to tell your mom about that. If you want to tell someone else, think that is best.

    • Gotta be careful what we tell our mom or mother

  • How exactly were you used?

    • It was described in my 1st question in details

    • Ohky, I'm So sorry that happened, it happened to me also, I was the rebound until he went back to his ex. I know how you feel, i don't know how your relationship with your mom is, but I would not tell mine she would completely flip first and then try to support. But i guess tell her, You lost a lot for that guy, strongs

  • A real question is do you feel the need to tell mom this has happened is thrown open the door to lot of other questions that you may not want to answer

  • You should tell her

  • yes how were you used though is he sill with you

  • You should tell her. You need emotional support.

  • A mother has ways of giving their child a true sense of love and comfort, if you have that special relationship with you mom, please confide in her so she can give you the knowledge needed to not let that happen again.

  • Tell your mom if she is very close to you. Moms are always the best person to go for when you need any advice about something emotional or sexual.

  • open up, keeping it can eat you from the inside im sure if you let her know you'll help yourself, make sure to let her know that you'll be more cautious now

  • It will hurt a lot less now than years later.

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