Should I tell my husband that he's working with a guy I once gave a blowjob?

So I've been married for a year now, only been together for 3 and a half years. We never really talk about our sexual pasts in detail. He knows I've had quite some casual sex and was far from a prude. I know he only had sex with his previous girlfriend, never had a ONS or anything like that. I know he used to have some issues with the fact that he wasn't very lucky in that department and I was pretty loose. That's why I don't talk about details.

There was one guy, and yes I know it was really dumb and I regret it the day after when I was sober, I gave a blowjob for his birthday. His friends made a bet with me when I was really drunk, I lost and I had to blow that guy on the bar toilet for his birthday, wearing this stupid "happy b-day" tiara. So not the classiest act you would rather not tell anyone about in detail (which is why I keep this anonymous ;) ). Also this happened at a time when me and my husband had two dates. We weren't exclusive or anything so I didn't really do anything wrong, but it wouldn't add much positive.

Sorry for the image, seemed suiting lol
Sorry for the image, seemed suiting lol

Now, pure coincidence, this guy is a cowrker of my husband. I have been keeping this a secret for 3 years, constantly on the edge of trying to tell him but it was never the right time, never seemed like a good idea and now it's been so long I don't know if I still should. The awkward feeling when I see this guy doesn't go away though and I feel like I'm lying to my husband about something. I don't want to cheat my husband or give off that feeling. what should I do?

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Superb Opinion

  • I probably would tell him considering the fact you and your husband were technically dating at the time. Its generally polite that when you start dating someone you shouldn't be dating anyone else or sucking random dick. The fact you continued to date then marry your husband without telling him right away is a huge red flag.

    But it's also up to you. can you handle the guilt. Mind you it's just gonna keep eating away at you until one day when you have kids you just spill your guts. That could end badly for you.

    Tell him or don't its your decision

Most Helpful Guy

  • If I were him, I'd rather hear it from you than from his coworker if they ever get in a heated argument. I'd leave out the details about the bet/bathroom... that isn't relevant, but being surprised by the other guy instead of forewarned by you is a betrayal and public disrespect.

    • Is the bet/bathroom thing really that much worst? I never really understand why guys get annoyed with those details.

    • The bathroom may make him think you're less classy. I mean who hasn't, right? but why risk it. It isn't relevant to the story. The details are immaterial. You had his penis in your mouth. That's all that needs to be relayed.

Most Helpful Girls

  • you can always deny it but how can a guy say to another oh by the way your wife blew me once... he's likely to get punched in the face for that remark... and if you tell him your husband will hold it against you i promise you that.

  • Does this guy remember…? Is he likely to spill the beans…if you don’t…? And could you put it down to something you did whilst drunk…so you weren’t sure it was him…?

    • I reached out to him to let him know. He thought it was really funny, which kind of annoyed me since he seemed to get a kick out of that fact. But he keeps quiet, except for an inapropriate inside joke here and there.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I can't believe we're already talking about Halloween that is a great pumpkin okay so now what was your question again you know it was before your wedding why take him to a place that he does not have to go why would you want to hurt him it's probably the last thing he wants to know about you having sex or given somebody a blowjob that he works with

  • No, I'd be cautious about telling him that. That's a tricky one, as if the other guy knows he is your husband, he could brag to others at work and if it got back to your husband indirectly it will have serious repercussions.

    • He knows. I reached out to him when I found out it was him. He thought it was really funny, which kind of annoyed me since he seemed to get a kick out of that fact. But he keeps quiet, except for an inapropriate inside joke here and there.

    • Yeah those inside jokes are dangerous, as men can brag to purposely get under another guys skin.

    • As a woman I never eally understood this. Why do guys brag when they only got a blowjob from a girl, in the least romantic way, while she chose to have a relationship with the other guy, who ends up being the laughing stock.

    • Show All
  • should've married the co-worker instead. now the co-worker has bragging rights over your husband

    • Can you explain why bragging rights for a blowjob? I know guys brag about it, just never really understood it.

  • It's quite unfortunate for your husband, and I hope he can handle the humiliation. Being honest would be my suggestion.

    • Why is that humiliating? I'm a woman and I never really understood this I guess. I don't think it's humiliating if I had a husband who had sex with a coworker of mine.

  • I suggest not.

  • This is your own problem. Don’t make it his problem. What good could possibly come of telling him about it?

  • Don't say anything about it.

  • You might just keep it a secret especially if happened quite a while ago and you was really together yet. It is a coincidence he is a co worker but that kinda happens more than you think. I had sex with a girl and her roommate was a girl I also had sex with.

    • Yeah I know. People seem to not understand that this is a stupid situation but iy could happen to anyone

  • No, why rock the boat?

  • Nope. You were not yet in a committed relationship. I see no reason, and certain do not see a positive outcome.

  • Ladies, think twice before slutting around

    • And men shouldn't

    • And men this, and men that. Women need to take responsibility for their actions for once and stop pointing the finger. I’m 28 with a bodycount of 2 so don’t point the finger at me

  • What good could really come out of this? Seriously, why would this actually be a good thing for your husband to know?

  • Nah, keep giving this guy blowjobs to make sure he doesn't tell your husband. FYI, your husband should have known better than to try to turn a hoe into a housewife.

  • Should still keep it to yourself may cause hard issues.

  • Would it make you feel better if your husband told you about all the womens brains he fucked? There some inherent pleasure you get from revealing things?

  • He doesn't need to know and even if he's alright with it he won't be ok having his co worker around.

    I mean would you be ok if he told you that someone you work with or a friend or someone you knew gave him a blowjob in that round the none exclusive part of your relationship.

    Would you be comfortable seeing them after he told you?

  • Yes I'm sure he would love to hear that

  • keep it a secret..
    it will be a problem if u tell him in my opinion..
    so if i were him and u tell me i would be mad at u

    • Well mad I could maybe understand, even though what did I do wrong? More frustrated maybe? But it's nothing to dump someone over right?

    • I don't know if i were u i, ll keep it.. and if one day he asked u about that u can tell him he did not ask u about ur sexual past... u can't change the past but u can avoid problems..

  • if I was your husband I would prefer to know such information

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