What should I do when my husband is watching porn in the next room?

He sometimes wants to masturbate alone. But I would prefer having sex whenever horny. I just feel left out when he's behind closed doors. I want to accept this and take my mind off it when he's doing it but feelings of jealousy are getting in the way. I get upset with him when he comes out, I may have self-esteem issues. I do not want to be controlling either.

Updates:
1 y
I watch it alone if he's asleep or not in the mood but I would prefer having him help me instead. We have talked about it and he says that they don't mean anything to him and that I am more important. Sometimes, we watch it together and that's good. But I still feel jealous when he once said they look nice, or when he locked the door to do it alone (which isn't very often but he takes too long in there which makes me miss him.) I want to give him some privacy but I feel jealous
1 y
I would like to know why he prefers doing it alone and if others have had such partners and have succeeded in conquering their jealous feelings.
0 2

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • Masturbation happens. Even if you said (and actually meant, which women never do) that you would have sex anytime, it won't matter. Sometimes we just want it to be about us, and don't want to have to go through the whole 'sexytime' production. When I was married, I rarely took my wife up on "quickies". I would feel bad she wasn't really getting anything out of it. So if I wasn't in the mood for everything that went into making us both happy, I just assume take care of it myself. Also, it really has nothing to do with you. Women want to think "oh, he thinks they are prettier then me" or "he wants them more then me". 99.9% of guys would want nothing to do with a gross porn actress. It is about us, not you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Until you realize that porn is completely useless, you won't be able to make any progress with this. He has no reason to question his behavior because you are supporting it in other ways. It's likely he prefers doing it alone because it gives him a better dopamine hit due to the fantasy. You being present would mean reality.

    Like I said. Once you understand what porn is, why it's free everywhere, and why it's pushed as being acceptable. You won't understand what's really happening.

    • I guess ai may have projected jealousy too.

    • @marriednmom regardless if jealousy is primary driver for concern or not, I think it's fair to assume this wasn't always the case. Something's changed. An honest answer, if possible, is likely dependent on how it's brought up.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Porn introduces a world of sexual fantasies. You can't compete with that. Talk to him and try role playing.

    • I tried dressing up but he felt that I was doing it because he had been watching porn then. I can't say that isn't true.. Once I took pictures and dressed up and that led to sex which was good.

    • I love computers, the Internet and smartphones, but everything has an equal plus and minus. If you or him are watching one of the millions of free orgy videos, it makes an imprint on your brain. There's a name for it, but I forget. But whatever the gizmo is in your brain that gets you aroused, is now expecting more than vanilla. I have absolutely no advice, because there really isn't any advice for this. Maybe just tell him about your fantasies, and he will tell you about his.

    • It is true, please let me know what it's called.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 23
  • Maybe you should start an xhamster account and hope he starts watching you and decides he needs to givest you the attention on

  • I gave up masturbation as I felt I was getting addicted to it. After giving it up my sexual relationship has slowly improved. This is the main reason I stopped masturbating. It is hard to try and repair that side of a relationship.

  • Because it’s emotional cheating. You need boundaries that you only want a man whose only interested in you.

    Fantasy now. You know if he was given the opportunity and wouldn’t get caught he would probably do it.

    Plus. He’s doing it in his heart

  • Unless there is some large variance in effort put by partners (like I was consistently doing all the work), I would always prefer my partner over my hand. Masterbation would never even be necessary if getting enough.

    • Should have added the stipulation that the partner isn't a selfish lover but that's probably more common feeling for women to have, not men

  • Lol, would be a dealbreaker for me.

  • He'd rather watch porn than be with his wife? He's addicted and needs help.

    • We were in a long distance relationship and then when we were together i worked long hours from home so we were in separate rooms, we ate alone and watched movies alone because he likes action and i like comedy or romance and Im wondering if that is one of the reasons why he spent mre time with porn and I had not realized it.

    • Sounds like a roommate situation.

  • Walk in the room with no clothes on and things will change.

  • Sorry to hear this, it’s not your fault porn has ruined how people function, If a model was in front if him he would still go watch porn.

    now, you need to tell him to change his habits or else..

    • I noticed that he watches it especially when he's stressed but won't admit it. I wish he would come to me for comfort instead. I am thinking about the stakes, I love him too much to leave and other than this I have nothing to complain about, we're happy.

  • Watch it with him regardless of what he's into. Understand what fantasies he likes and maybe something good will come out of it the both of you can engage in. Maybe help him with his hard on and take advantage of him. I doubt he will want to be alone.

  • Just get him to let you watch him do it with out porn on tell him you like watching him do it

  • Who doesn't enjoy a little porn and masturbation. What you're describing is problematic to your relationship. It might be time to get some help.

    • I realize that. I will

    • Who do I go to for help?

    • I dislike pom myself. Was able to stop by using it by switching to short stories, then from there using only imagination.

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  • Walk into the room naked, take a dildo or vibrator, sit where he can see you, then start masturbating. I bet before you cum, he’ll have his cock halfway into your pussy.

  • Go in and suck his cock

    • MHO right there ^^

    • @WildCard42 what is MHO?

    • Most Helpful Opinion.

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  • Go be his porn star

  • Walk in naked and tell him to eat you

  • Get someone else round to cater for your needs

  • Be more sexual is simple

  • Did you try to talk with him about it?

    • Yes and he said he would stop but I know that is hard to do, he had reduced his frequency and concentrated on work more, which is more than one could ask for, I try really hard to remind myself that it is not his fault it is just the world we live in.

    • Try to seduce him then with sexy clothes..

    • I've tried and he notices. But I guess he isn't in the mood when I am. He's great out of bed too, he compliments, he cuddles when he isn't busy or watching tv.

    • Show All
  • Find someone to sext with

  • Why not watch porn together?

  • Show More (4)