Sexual Relationships
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What would you do if your woman would tell you that she's sexually unsatisfied in the relationship?

I am in that position and my husband isn't the best in bed , which makes me wanna have an affair. That and the fact that I'm still so young and he was my only partner. I have a high sexual drive and I like adventurous experiences when it comes to sex but I don't feel free to explore that entirely with my partner. Guys can get better at that or he's just not the right person for me?

2 1

Superb Opinion

  • I had exactly the same situation with my SO. MY wife and I love each other but our sex life is a mutual 5. She had no sense of adventure and at age 33, I was barely a virgin with a five inch dick. A few years into our relationship she started having an affair. They guy had a big cock. She didn't really try to hide it and I had mixed feelings: I was jealous yet strangely turned on. Plus, I was having sex with a hooker on the side, so fair was fair.

    We talked discovered neither of us wanted to end our relationship but neither of us wanted to stop what we were doing either. Our sex life greatly improved but after a while, she started seeing more and more of him as they became serious. We didn't break up but instead made her her side guy. Again, jealous but turned on. The still kept stuff at our apartment and we remained sexual and dating like this for another four years until he found out we were still together. She made me her number 1 guy again and relegated the other guy to 2nd place and it remained like that until he mover far away a couple years later. Nowadays, they go on holiday together once or twice a year but that's about it and I'm fine with it as the jealousy has evaporated over the years. However, I still get hard at the thought of her fucking other guys.

    If I were your hubby, I would be okay with it and even encourage it but most guys aren't me. I got just as much thrill out of her affair as she did. In your case, I would start with light hinting. For example, tell your hubby you're curious to try something that's impossible for him to do - such as fuck a black guy. Then likewise see if there's anything he's curious to try and take it from there.

    Jealously will play a role at first, so I suggest you ease into it. I don't have a big ego or a temper so I was fine mostly and her as well. And over this time, I learned that a couple can love each other very much and want to remain in a relationship but still have to have her own private sex life outside of the one she shares with me and I think it's a good thing so long as boundaries are established early.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys can get better, the question is how much he cares to improve. There are specialists for that... sexologists. And he doesn't need to go to one if he's embarrassed of it, he can watch videos on youtube for example.

    When I was in my mid 20s and I broke up from my one and only girl i'd been with, I had to throw myself to the world of dating with women that had a lot more of experience than me.

    So I started watching sexologists to up my game. I learned how to last longer in bed, how to read your partner to see what she likes and what she doesn't, the importance of her being comfortable, and, I don't wanna brag (I do really 😂) but ever since I've been always told I give the best oral sex by every girl I've been too 😝 it's my signature thing 😛

    So yes, he can pretty much improve to the point of being the best lover you ever had, but he needs to have an interest on it, and you need to have patience.
    In the meantime, instead of having an affair, watch porn and please yourself. But give him some time before cheating on him.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You can initiate stuff yourself, if you want to try different things, you can also tell him things and I'm sure he will try to improve on it.. Do not cheat on your husband... if things don't improve do the right thing and divorce, do not cheat on the guy willing to marry you... Why do people even consider cheating as an option? LOL

  • I would talk about it with her, try to find out what she feels is missing, and provide it. Which is a little bit easier for me as I don’t waste my time with monogamy. But if you got married to this guy, you have to talk to him about it. at least once.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 22

  • The issue hinges upon whether she's lost interest fundamentally, in her partner OR...
    what has SHE actively done to maximize HER pleasure from her companion's presence? "PLEASURE me!" is NOT a modern feminist equality response.

  • Gotta train him on the things you like. It's impossible for him to learn what you need without talking about it

  • I would ask what's lacking or what she wants to do

    • I dont see how u can have these issues if u are communicating your needs unless its things he is not willing to do

  • Well Cheating on him is not the answer , if you love your husband you wouldn’t cheat on him period , Even though you are very sexual and he isn’t fulfilling your sexual wants , you are best to talk to him and teach him to be better instead of spreading your legs to some other guy thinking he is going to rock your world , He will rock your world alright causing you to end up in divorce court, for what 10 minutes of fun? So where is your husband lacking in the bedroom? What isn’t he doing to fulfill you? Does he have a hard time lasting? Does he not like giving oral? Not everyone has amazing sex every time , so why it’s best to support each other to make it better instead of just thinking of yourself , Does he not want sex as much as you do? Inbox me , I can probably give you some great advice on how to bring the passion back into the bedroom for you and your husband

  • You need to. open the lines of communication as good communication is the key to every aspect of a great relationship including sex. Tell how you feel, guide him and let him know what you want and how you like it. If you have an affair you'll end up finding it unfulfilling as well but probably for different reasons.

  • First, I would discuss her grievance with me. If it was something as simple as a sexual act like cunnilingus or even PIA, I'd try to address it. But now a days its not that Karen is not satisfied. It is that Karen will not be satisfied. Saying that means her decision has been made. If she loves you, it would not even be worth mentioning.

    Quietly I'd start saving a war chest. I would monitor and research our wireless phone bills for multiple repeat calls and check numbers with an IT guy I know who can ID them. There will be a pattern. When I identify that, I'd split our savings and pull the trigger. I read that 80% of divorce filings are by women who will claim anything, no matter how unsupported, to destroy a man, his career and reputation.

    Those words, telling me that she's sexually unsatisfied in the relationship are the warning shot. If I'm not married to her, the day she says that is her last with me.

  • Do you love him? If you do, work on it. If you don't, don't force yourself. Instead of cheating, consider breaking up. Cheating is just vile. It hurts ten times worse than break up.

  • Try and figure out what I could do differently.

  • Would ask why. Have you told him what you are missing and seen if he can change or provide?

    • Yes we talked about that many times. He's trying for a while but then we're just back to point zero.

    • What have you asked him to do more or differently. And why are you back to point zero if he heard your needs and attempted to meet them? I’m glad you have communicated but I’m trying to understand where he is failing

    • I asked him to initiate more often, to not schedule it every time we do, I mean to be more spontaneous , to sext me during the day. I told him this makes a huge difference for me and i would be so happy if he can do it , and yet.. I'm still here being unfulfilled and wondering what should I do next. Even though he was my first, I tried with other guys before but it was never more than talk or a date. But they knew how to approach me , I always had deep feelings for those guys who really made me feel desired.

    • Show All

  • he's not the right person

  • Guys could/should get better. He should listen to you and try what you would like. He might like it. I know I do. Lol. Experimenting can be fun and exciting. He really should.

  • Do you have to even ask? Just go be a hoe! YOLO, Go Girl, boss bitch, hot girl summer!

  • I heard that you're married and I also heard that he was your first. I'm sure you have sat down with him and talked about the situation.
    Maybe it's time to bring toys into the bedroom if you haven't already. Experiment with those toys with him. Maybe sex games with him.

    • Yes we talked about it several times. We tried with toys, positions , new places. The biggest problem is that he just doesn't make me feel desired.. in all these years of marriage I was the one who initate most of the time. He did too but more rarely and I told him i need this so much and it would make me so happy but I feel like it's going through one ear and out on the other.

  • Communication is key, you need to talk about this, help him understand you desires, where it feels good for you.

    Don't just stay silent and hope he gets better at it

  • try some kinky things

  • Find a friend a man or woman to play with

  • You must try communicating to him about it... maybe he could try things to apice up the sex

  • I’m sorry to hear that. It’s such a shame when guys can’t perform well for their partner. 😏

  • Talk if not right time to move on.

  • Sure not the right one

  • Show More (6)

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