Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Then guys TRY to console us by saying "dont worry, theyre just a fantasy." HOW CAN I NOT WORRY THAT IM NOT THE ONE HE FANTASIZES ABOUT? I want to be his EVERYTHING lol Is that really too much to ask for? Some guys even say "if they looked like you, thats when you should worry". Im like tf? How lol Id be happy because I know that my body type turns him on ans is his fantasy as well
Or they say "even if he was with those porn stars, theyd probably look for pics of girls like you. Men like variety"
-__-
Obviously, Im not & most of us aren't porn stars, but we still would feel better if those women at least resembled us. Because Ill know that he's happy with my body type at least
Before y'all ask, yes, I only masturbated to my ex boyfriend. I never pictured anyone but him, and he was pretty much my fantasy. Like Marshall from HIMYM, only wanted my "Lily" and only fantasized about my "Lily" (Im a hopeless romantic and when I love someone, I literally cannot even imagine anyone else). So it really hurt to see that he was pleasuring to himself to women who were the complete opposite of me, light skin, big boobs, etc
This is a reason why I just can't date. I'll ask and feel terrible to find out that those women look nothing like me
Even if he's not gonna cheat on me with them, it still makes me feel like im not enough because he *has* to go to other women to get a fast boner
TLDR
Why can't we be our men's fantasies? :(
Is there any explanation to this shit aside from the ones I already stated? Or do we just have to accept that most men aren't satisfied with just one woman (not talking about infidelity)?
*NOTE I dont mind that men watch porn, I just get hurt when the girls he consistently looks at look nothing like ME. Because it means that he doesn't find my body shape attractive enough for a fast boner. So dont come at me (haha pun) with that "all men watch porn, deal with it"
What Girls & Guys Said
15 37A man who has been starved all his life hoards food.
A man who has been kept in poverty becomes miserly.
Most men are sex-starved and always have been.
Think about this for a long, long time. It has implications far broader than your boyfriend or even the pornography epidemic as a whole.
I'm single. God damn, do y'all even read? And no. My ex was sexually active since he was like 17. So that's over a decade of sex, he definitely wasn't starved
Let him eat cake!!!
Millions of years of evolution designed men to be hunters. This applies to both work life and sex life. Men are designed to kill, bring home the meat and move on to the next hunt. Their sexual design is similar in some ways. They hunt down the woman who will bear their next child, do what it takes to make it happen, and move on. And probably more than girls -- although I''m sure girls to too -- they crave variety. Men can be with the "most beautiful" (there really isn't any such thing) girl on the planet and still crave another girl.
There is a lot of truth in the saying that men are only as loyal as their options. It's not necessarily malicious intent that drives them to this, it's physiological and psychological design. Since this behavior is not acceptible in some societies, men who live in such an environment are in a constant struggle to disobey the callings of their evolutionary design and their natural inclinations.
Well do most girls really think of their boyfriend as their ultimate sexual fantasy?
From what I understand it is pretty common for girls to fantasize over a former fuckbuddy or their celebrity crush even if they have a boyfriend.
I don't care about most girls. I stated in my details that I only fantasized about him
Well you are a rarity and can't really expect most guys to have your mentality when most girls don't have it either. That's not to say you can't find a guy who is the same, just that it's rare.
people have different preferences and fantasies.
there is no such thing as the ultimate look.
besides, if he s with you, it means that he s into you both physically and emotionally
So here's the thing...
Pron is not real sex, it's fake. So it distorts the mental image of what real sex is for guys that jerk off to it all the time. And they get so used to jerking off that they can't hardly even manage with a real woman. And they think all the depraved things they do on pron vids is what real man-woman sex is about, so they want to do all sorts of weird shit, like come all over you, or gag you, or fuck your ass.
Tell your guy if he wants you then it has to be just you. That you'll do him any time he wants, always and forever. It actually works and both are a LOT happier. I think wifey has said no about six times in almost thirty years. And she' was pregnant at least once. [shrug]
On update... You've missed the entire point of it all. [shrug]
Your answer was decent. But I'm single lol This update doesn't pertain to your response
Hmmm, you're not even in a relationship, so you're really just making it all up? GAAH!!
Not making anything up.
The short answer is its just in our nature. Its biology, we cannot help it. That is the only way to understand it, breaking down to base instincts.
It is in our instincts to want diversity when reproducing ( the biological purpose to sex). It does not matter what a girl looks like, how perfect she is, we will always fantasize about different girls. It is in no way a sign of anything negative. Most men simply cannot make one person their entire life, all their thoughts, all their dreams the way women do.
So does that mean women love men more then? Like I know I really cannot picture myself with anyone other than the person Im with. And I couldnt even watch porn, Id just tell him "send me a dick pic" and jerk it to that.
No, just differently.
So if your woman fantasized about other men, you wouldn't care?
Not at all
Then thats not love in my opinion
a guy like Marshal from HIMYM is bae
I don't know where you come to that conclusion, but I firmly disagree.
Guys have a type of girl that they want. Their perfect 10, so to speak. However, the probability of finding such a girl is really low and guys know this. A guy's 7, whatever that might be, is more probable to find than a 10, so a guy will generally settle for less than what he sexually desires because he knows that he likely can't do better. That's not to say the he's not attracted to you. Its just, you're likely not his version of perfect that he has in his head and he knows there's no point in chasing unicorns. That probably doesn't make you feel any better but I think you expect too much.
Think of it this way. A guy is given a giant spinning drum with a million balls in it; each ball being assigned a monetary value. Say the highest value is $60 million but has a 1 in a million probability and the most probable is $1 million. The guy is allowed to draw once and draws a ball for $10 million dollars. He's told he can either keep the money or draw again. The guy has to ask himself is it worth throwing away an amazing prize for an exceptionally low probability of getting the best out there. And the answer is no. The guy "settles" for $10 million even though its theoretically not the best he could have done, but probabilistically he wasn't gonna do better.
Didn't know this was such am issue. If a guy has a fav porn star I'd think he has a problem. I couldn't tell you the name of any porn star well besides Kim K😂 Thought normal guys jerk off to the thought of their girlfriend. I do when I have one and we are away and can't fuck.
OMG the pic is sooo funny. Thank you for posting it
It's true lol
You should quit worrying what porn he watches as long as its nothing abnormal. Anyways why is that a reason you can't date, you need to move on?
Because I know guys are going to be unhappy. Like why be with me yet jerk it to girls who look nothing like me,? That makes no sense
@BuchitaBuchys Not all guys do that if Im in a relationship with a girl I rather be with her and not even watch porn
Of course not all, but apparently most do
You want to be his "everything"? Yes, that is too much to ask for. A man should never have his entire world consumed by a woman. You literally want to control his mind (he should only fantasize about what you approve) and you don't see a problem with that? If he were to tell you that you can only read a certain kind of book or dress a certain way, you'd be up in arms about how controlling he is.
Let the man have his porn, ffs.
Then if I'm not his fantasy, why would he be with me?
I wouldn't know. You don't seem like much to me. Insecure, needy, controlling. Maybe you should ask him that question.
I'm single. But this applies to most men because many women have this problem
Yeah, it's almost like a man can be aroused by a wide range of body types or something. Get over it. Or don't. Bring it up with the next unfortunate guy you get into a relationship with, see how it goes.
I wouldn't even care if it was variety though. I'd actually prefer him looking at different types of women, as opposed to just one that looks nothing like me. But if it's always one particular type of girl, that looks nothing like you, then that's my issue. What race are you?
What difference does it make? On both counts.
1. Because that means he just likes beautiful women. If he's exclusively searching let's say BBW, and I'm thin and Hispanic (which I am), it's basically like he's not satisfied with my body type. And 2. Because let's say you're a white guy with a small dick, just an example, you're really not gonna feel like shit if your girl EXCLUSIVELY AND DELIBERATELY searches for black men with big dicks? Most would feel inadequate
1) Trying to control what someone watches on their own time based on your insecurities will breed resentment. They will leave you once they figure out what a neurotic mess you are. If it bothers you, he'll just do it while your back is turned anyway. 2) I don't care what people do behind closed doors. Hell, I don't bother with serious relationships, anyway. Watch all the BBC porn you want, I promise you I have no fucks to give.
You're just as bitter and crazy as me. I don't want to control what he watches. Where did i say that? I said I want to find a man that considers me his fantasy
Good luck with that. Nobody fantasizes about bitter and crazy.
As long as he's not fucking around with someone else, why do you care in the least what he likes in porn? Porn doesn't necessarily reflect real life, and in particular real tastes.
Because I want to be the reason his dick gets hard
Does he have to watch it before he has sex with you, or does he just watch it when by himself? If he has sex with you without "priming the pump" with porn, then you are the reason his dick gets hard.
No, I want to be his fantasy
But yet he is with you, and not out looking for something that meets his alleged fantasy.
And if it's not his particular taste, then why would he continue searching for the exact same type of woman every time? That looks nothing like me?
Fantasy and reality are two different things. I fantasize about climbing Mt. Everest, but the reality of it would be excruciating and miserably uncomfortable even if I did commit to do so and put in the needed work.
If your boy loves you, you will always be a part of every fantasy of his.
So if he searches for women that look nothing like you, does it mean he doesn't love you?
Define "searches" please.
Literally googles "white girl with big tits getting fucked, sucking dick, getting titty fucked, twerking, etc etc"
So you mean he watches this kind of porn. Alright. He may still love (i think he does) but still has the needs to somewhat fulfill his fantasies.
Then why be with me if I'm not his fantasy? Thad makes no sense
Fantasies and love are too different things.
To men apparently
You address this question as 'men' but then talk about a 'he' so is this a general and personal question? Cause I think that would change my answer.
Nope, men.
Too many characters so I changed it to he lol
i never want my future gf/future wife to look like a pornstar. and i dont care about looks as much as i care about her inside beauty, brain.
tl;dr (sorry if my assumptions about what this was about were wrong) all people fantasize. Some fantasies are more realistic than others. Honestly, if a man is actually made happy by you, then that's probably his fantasy. If he doesn't consider it a chore to be with you and takes time out of his day to be with you, you just might be what he wants
Thats not what im asking...
Well then I refer back to my tl;dr post Can I get a summary or is that asking too much lol I'm too tired for walls of text
Its not a wall of text. I split it up into paragraphs Im saying that why do men have favorite porn stars that dont look like their gfs?
Paragraphs of walls People are programmed to like variety. It's evolution. It's how the genes mix, how stronger generations are built. With porn stars, there is no love attached, perhaps making their preference a bit different. Personally I've never actually seen an appeal to "favorite porn stars." And you can't expect be your guy's every sexual fantasy, but you could definitely rock his world in a way porn stars can't.
Damn. Thats what I said to not answer because its a lame answer. I guess no dating for me lol Men can't be happy with one woman
Why is lame wrong? That's not true at all. Personally I can't see watching porn in a committed relationship, but that's just me. Some guys can't tie down but most guys are looking for love, not sex, in the end. Sometimes, we get bored of each other, tho.
Then this doesn't apply to you
that is what u want
but what about
what he wants
what if u white and he likes black women
Many different body types are attractive even yours so he fantasize of you but he also fantasize of others, not to get tired of you. Hey he loves you as a person as a whole. He just likes the porn girls body and how they perform during sex that's all.
@butthurt
^^ is my fantasy
😲😲😲 your fantasy is being butthurt?
@ButtHurt if thats what you like
Lmfao ew
@ButtHurt you know you like it
It's pointless trying to explain anything to girls. They don't respond to logic.
It's pointless for misogynists to comment as they don't think logically
Possibly. I wouldn't know. I like girls.