Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why can't I make him cum?

So my now ex but previous boyfriend would never cum when I gave him head of a handy. He'd just get horny and want to then lead into sex.

He's fairly big in size and always wanted me to fit it all in which was highly difficult but I tired, gagging even. But he never seemed to enjoy it or ever cum.

is that my fault? Was I not good? Was I doing something wrong? What could I do to make him cum? Be better etc

I feel really shit about it and paranoid, I don't wana be shit.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sugar, don't feel bad. I for one have never cum from oral. I just need back and forth banter with my partner - if she's giving me head that can't happen. He may have been the same way.

    Some of us men also have VERY particular kinks - kinks that we may not be comfortable sharing because we are afraid how you will react to them. So we focus on trying to get you off, and for some of us that is enough <3.

    • Can you explain what you mean by kinks? Are you referring to what turns you on what gets you off? I get that people can be embarrassed saying certain things to their partner for fear of what they might think, but I'd love him to be comfortable enough to tell me so we can get to pleasing him and making sure he's satisfied in bed, whatever that may be. Any suggestions on getting him to open up, other than asking cause I've done that.

    • Kinks in both senses - the things that innately turn me on and the things that get me off. The first thin you need to accept is that this is a problem with him, not you. With that in mind, there is only so much you can do - and trying to force things will only make thing worse. If it is a kink thing, the best thing you can do is be extremely supportive if he opens up to you. Also, the reciprocation principle is a thing - open up about something embarrassing that turns you on. It'll make him more likely to tell you something he wants as well.

  • Make sure u don't use teeth when sucking. N keep it wet n suck hard. N use both hand one on the balls pulling down n other stroking the shaft. U need stamina to do it for long. Some guys enjoy being sucked for like no n then finish it off in The Pussy

    • Omg hell no teeth would b painful and unpleasant haha. He's not a fan of the balls I've asked if that is something he enjoys and he's said it doesn't really do anything. I know if I could go full D for as you said a good amount of time that would get him off but he's not small so fitting that in for that long and not gagging the whil way through it isn't even possible. So it's his fault for having a big D haha!! Practice makes perfect, I'll keep trying to master and not give up.

    • Well. Mine is big too. So I try many things to make sure I get stimulated during oral etc. U can use c**k ring that vibrates at the base. While u use both hands on the shaft. N u can use your just on the head trust me if u have good tongue action. U can make him orgasm. Use more toys also use mouth on other area like balls n region between balls and a**hole. It's really sensitive for some.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope hun, some man just can't cum

    • Well that sux for me as it would really turn me in knowing I could do that to him rather than feeling I'm so shit cause I can't 😖

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 3

  • so then sit on his dick... problem solved

    • Absolutely not solved. They are two very different things, separate things. Sex is sex. Guys love having their D sucked and in some circumstances we can have sex so what he just misses out. Nah fuck that.

    • well then if u can't make him cum then be prepared for him to look elsewhere... with make him cum or don't lmao its not a fuckin maths test, he doesn't care how u make him cum its all the same

    • Absolutely disagree with that comment 10000000% Have you not heard of people getting bored in relationships as it's the same shit all the time? No spice in the bedroom? Maybe your not very creative or giving and are happy to jump on a guys dick to just make him cum instead of keeping it interesting and pleasing your man in more ways than one. But I for one am not. And will endeavour to continue to fix or find a way around this. Unlike you I'm not the boring in bed type.

    • Show All

  • It isn't your fault. It's very hard for me to cum that way too. My dick prefers a pussy

    • Is there anything that I could do to make it more pleasurable for him so he would? I'm sure he doesn't enjoy not cuming and if I could he'd be fucking ecstatic. I want to please him. Especially in circumstances where we can't have sex I don't want him missing out. Or going elsewhere...

    • The only thing you might try is asking for explicit play by play instructions. I know it's very hard for me so I really don't expect to cum and aren't disappointed if I can't

    • I 'think' he's the same but I'd love to be able to do that for him and even for me I think it would be hot n turn me on. I know he's into getting the full D in and deep throating it that would make him explode, but jesus its near impossible. It's something I can work on keep trying but may never be able to do that.

    • Show All

  • you guys might just be sexually incompatible..

    • Because I can't make him cum from head? Wow ok

    • How should I know? That's something you would be able to tell if it was true or not, was just making a guess at one of many possibilities.

    • But you made the comment so I assume those were your thoughts not mine haga

  • Some men take a long time to cum.
    Try massaging the balls and using the tip of your tongue to work on the magic spot where the glans meet the frenum under the head.

    • He ain't into the balls he said it doesn't do anything for him, I asked this as I'd heard it was pleasurable for most guys. No issues with playing around the head shaft etc but that doesn't seem to make him cum. I know what would but unable to achieve that.

  • Don't feel bad your ex is the one with the problem

  • some are like that

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