Why do guys cum so fast?

Like I’ve rarely had a partner that lasted more than 5 minutes once we get into it. Yet for me it takes a good 10-20 minutes unless I’m really really stimulated.

Why the imbalance I wonder? Is it possible to train guys to hold on longer?

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AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion
  • That sounds like being overexcited. Getting off in 5 minutes or less will happen if it's been a while since last getting laid, like more than a week or two. Men will get off faster, while women take just as long after a dry spell. The imbalance is probably to make babies, cave man guy getting some after that long probably isn't asking permission or worrying about pleasure...
    Anyway, an easy trick to make that balance is simply to get the guy off earlier, so you have the refractory period, but getting off a second time takes longer. If you have a day, or a couple hours, maybe just give a handjob to your 5 minute champ in the morning, then go for PIV at night, he'll last longer, or say getting off work at 6 take the 5 minute detour, then the main course at 8, maybe he'll last 20-30 minutes.
    If he only lasts 5 minutes every time though... fuck, that's a pickle, ha, get it! Every partner though, that's just crap luck. Getting women off is something men are supposed to do, as there is a biological component there, if we get you off, our sperm has to do less work, and it's more likely you'll get pregnant. Try the double tap and see if that works. Your partners will just have to drink more orange juice, it's a win/win as well. I'm not going to complain if my partner takes the initiative to get me off more.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Good question, and no doubt there is some good biological reason. Most animals, insects set aside, still cum far more quickly than humans. For human males it's generally not easy to not cum when the urge is there, and let's be honest, just pumping during 20 or 30 minutes becomes rather boring... At least that's what I experienced the few times I managed to hold in so long. In my case, when I waited to long before the release, I just couldn't anymore; over stimulation is not helpful in such cases, I can tell you... Well, there still are some men with a strong self control ;0)

    For humans there are some plain tricks to live with that difference between women and men, like a nice foreplay for instance. With my wife I nearly always took the time to put in practice the saying "ladies first" (which could last easyly 30') and thus, once she had had an orgasm, I came in her. Concerning young guys, who often can cum more than once in a row, wanking him off first, to enable him taking his time for the real intercourse, may certainly help.

    Now, all men and women are not the same, and important differences do exist. The key is knowing oneself well enough and act accordingly.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes some iv been with, iv barely touched them and they cum. In my experience, guys that masturbate regularly, last longer. My boyfriend masturbates a lot when I'm not around. We still have sex at least 5 times a week but he can frequently last well over an hour or more. Or he can cum in 5 mins if it's a quickie. It's ridiculous self control and I very lucky.

    • How many times do you cum in that hour?

    • @Mrgoodstuff62 a lot!

    • Nice! How many times does he jerk off a day?

    • Show All
  • If there was enough foreplay then there shouldn't be any imbalancs. Both the man and woman should be 100% turned on and ready for sex. The issue of this is when the woman not 100% ready and the man is overly ready for sex so he cums before she's even started

    • Bingo! As a guy, it’s natural to want to just slide right in and get going. There is an old saying however that men are microwaves and women are crockpots. One’s instantly cooking while the other one slowly builds up and then watch out because she becomes hot ❤️‍🔥😂 Literally, especially inside. All that said, the best sex by far is taking the time to be sensual and warm a woman up. It’s also lovely and beautiful to be able to explore her body and experience how turned on and erotic she can get. Once both are ready for intercourse, it then becomes absolutely amazing. Even then, I still like to draw it out even longer because it’s such a connecting moment where you just don’t want it to end. When ejaculation finally occurs, because a guy can't take it any longer or he will burst, it’s like dying and going to heaven.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • The rough average is 7 minutes for men and 14 for women. Its fair to say it is an uneven field.

    Short term you can change up what you do, alter pace, position and such. Generally if a girl does more grinding motions as one is prone to do when being on top for example it begins to even out a little for example. A quick pause, for the guy not you, can also go a very long way.

    Long term there are ways that actually do work! Generally getting to know himself and how he is with you is one thing. What works better than that is kegel exercises. Its basically just increasing the muscles that we rely on to orgasm. As such they last longer, often lead to better orgasms and as a more guaranteed bonus tends to prevent prostate cancer and alike. Really any guy should do this 10 minutes a day or so. If the term is unfamiliar to anyone it is basically the funny looking thing where we lift towels with our member. No need for a towel, that part is just a flex.

  • You can work around that with position changes, slowing down or get an aditional stimulation for you.
    But yeah I totally get you and otherwise would have the same problem.

  • i need to take pointers from you because i give a lot of 20 minute blowjobs

  • It takes self discipline. I used to cum fast and still have the urge to and can if I want to. But I've learned to not make it about me. That involves a few things from slowing down a bit when slmost to the point of no return, to even taking a break and pulling out and using the tip with it all wet and slippery to stimulate the clitoris. Its just learning to gain control of the body and learn the threshold of edging so ejaculation doesn't occur until she is well satisfied or if the girl wants the guy to cum with her at the same time. Waiting has its benefits too as ejaculation can build up to be that much more intense, pleasurable, and more semen released. I can cum in a few minutes if we need to be quick or last longer than an hour. I prefer to make it last longer and make intercourse special and fulfilling for a girl.

  • Some guys rush into it. If you want it to last longer, do some foreplay, like have him eat you out and then go down on him, or vice-versa. It's best if you both go down on each other because it'll make the sex last longer for both of you.

    Also, you can try having him finger you. Stroking him would be OK, but just be careful not to do it too much because he might get too excited and cum.

    While you're doing those things, try kissing each other on different parts of your body. If you do all this, it will make him last longer. Most guys cum fast because they rush into sex. If you do some foreplay though, you will get a chance to cum too. Hope this helps :)

  • You may want to consider only allowing him to service you orally, and restrict him from having any penetrative sex with you for a while. You never know; he may just find that he likes it, and your problem will be solved.

  • KEEP IN MIND... the 'default' evolved purpose of copulation is NOT 'recreational'; it serves to motivate a couple to transfer DNA and IMPREGNATE! Yet, humans largely engage in 'recreational' (feel good) intimacies. Once he 'delivers' anything further with the SAME partner is purely 'gratuitous' ('Been THERE, hit THAT!) Only with a new partner is a male biologically incentivized to become AGAIN aroused (Coolige-effect 'opportunity' copulation)
    And 'yes'... a man can train his responses to delay and prolong his tumescence. In commercial pornography, male actors employ pharmacology to prolong their erections.

    Why do guys cum so fast?
  • When will GaG users remember NOT to generalize. you CANNOT group “GUYS” together here , it just isn’t fact !! . There are more than a few factors / variables here that could lead to the guy cumming quickly , these can be split into physical and psychological and YOU will not train him to do anything 😂. Nothing works better than talking with him though and if having a trigger finger continues to be a thing for him then there will be a solution for HIM with you at least

  • Wow, you've been getting ripped off.


  • Maybe you are just too good, ever thought of that?














    (I'm just joking of course, as far as i know, is something you can practice with time)

  • maybe he wanted to see the new Demon Slayer episodes... new season is out

  • I’ve had this discussion with my partner. He can keep going for longer if he pulls out and goes down on me then he’s ready again in a few minutes. Works for us.

    • Exactly the same way I do it...

    • Is that not disappointing when he has to pull out when it’s feeling great for you?

  • Because if you do it without the condom, the stimulation for us is a lot different and harder to last. There is no barrier which increases the sensations felt when thrusting, ergo, harder to control if not used to doing it.

    For example, with condoms I can go for a long time. Take those out of the equation, I last about half of that time, if not shorter. Takes a lot of discipline and practice to withstand and last through it going raw.

  • That's why I see oral as a backup but I guess it's cause the way sex works for both genders is different, i think women can get 6 orgasms in one night, the chances of that for a guy are low, so it just shows the way sex is for both genders is different, I'm not saying men can't last long but it's just unrealistic to think most guys can, of course that's normally, not speaking about practicing to do so which I'm sure there's ways to reach that but tbh I don't know

  • They want to get away from you quicker?

    Seriously, you need to work on your foreplay to bring yourself to the brink of climax.

  • Because nature doesn't care about everybody's wellbeing and pleasure it only cares about if the sperm got to the egg or not.

  • Men evolved to hit it and quit it in an environment where a tiny number of men got ALL the women and the rest got no action or chance to pass their genes on. This is why the average human has twice as many female ancestors as male. There were two primary strategies for the vast majority of men to reproduce, either suck up to the local alpha or sneak in hit it and sneak out before the alpha found out. Taking forever to cum would decrease their chances of getting to as it would increase their chances of discovery. The men who took forever to cut didn't survive long enough to do so.

  • You might just be that good?
    Maybe cut back on his foreplay and have him increase yours, so you are so much closer when you start doinking each other.
    You may just have him so close that he can not control himself.

  • Because nature doesn't care if women get an orgasm or not. Biologically, the only thing that matters is a guy getting to cum inside a woman. Still, most men care about women and about pleasing them too.

  • 5 minutes is actually a pretty long time. Studies have shown the average guy cums in 2-3 minutes.

    Mother Nature built in the time difference between men and women to encourage the man to warm the woman up, and hopefully get her to orgasm before he does. That's where fingers, lips and tongue come into play. Foreplay is good!

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