Why do men just want to have sex with promiscuous women, but not date, marry, or get into a relationship with them?

Question

Men have no problem accepting sex from a woman no matter her past history. As long as she's clean, it's a green light. But when it comes to getting into a relationship or anything long term, men usually would not consider a woman with an extensive sexual past. Why?

Quintessence · Accepted Answer

There are several possible reasons, and they all tie into each other:
1. They're running on the well-publicated premise that "The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour." In psychology, risk assessments for predicting recidivism and clinical evaluations for predicting relapse rates have shown this trend consistently. That said, it is a WEAK factor OVERALL, but it's the BEST we've got. As a result of this, we've got trust issues. If someone--be they male or female--has a lengthy list of sexual exploits, what's to stop them from adding one more name to it? No one wants to be cheated on or discarded on a whim.
2. What's the point of investing time and energy committing to someone who's likely (based on their past behaviour) to give them "no strings attached" sex? This is usually more relevant to men who aren't looking for a long-term relationship in the first place.
3. It hurts their ego and brings out their insecurities. How can they pride themselves on a woman who's "given it away" to so many people, so easily? People want to feel special, and the easiest way to make someone feel special is to reserve your intimacy just for them. When men encounter a woman who's shown to be more liberal with her sex, they start to ask themselves questions like, "well, what makes ME more desirable than her previous partners?", "how am I supposed to compete with them to win her over?", "what's to stop her from leaving me for someone more appealing?", which ties in to reason number 1.
4. They don't respect her enough. Many men still hold the belief that a woman's 'value' and virtue comes from her chastity. There are several reasons why adhering to this belief is wrong and irrelevant in today's culture, but I won't get into them. The point is, they view a promiscuous woman as one with diminished value. And they wouldn't want to blemish their reputation with such a woman--that would hurt their ego (see reason 3), especially if she cheated on them (see reason 1), so they might as well use her for what she can provide: sex (see reason 2).

Louloubum · Accepted Answer

1) Sex fades. We all need substance. The thing with promiscuous women is that typically they feel like that's the best thing they have to offer. So they lead with that. Sometimes it's not true at all. Rarer though.

2) The person that you're in a relationship with is a reflection of who you are. Some men are uncomfortable with presenting themselves as sexual people. Believe it or not I think a lot of men are very repressed when it comes to sex.

3) men have a tendency to think of women as either angels or whores. There is of course an entire spectrum in between the two, but when your girlfriend or wife is more on the slutty end, we tend to think of them as not very angelic. It is wrong, yes, but in my experience that seems to be true.

4) A girl who really likes sex and is sweet and intelligent wouldn't have the chance to be promiscuous since most sharp guys would do anything to snatch her up right away.

azzntittiz · Accepted Answer

Plenty women promiscuous or not don't spark a man's interest that easily for marriage. Has nothing to do with sexual history, girls are too boring, fake and lack self knowledge. Men might perpetuate these negatives in girl for short term, but the long term effect causes him to be disinterested.

I'm a whore and guys are not afraid to try to settle me, I've had many chances to marry men who dated other girls longer and didn't want to be stuck with her.

Bandit74 · Accepted Answer

Perceived higher risk of being cheated on. A woman who has accepted many casual offers could be more receptive to them in a relationship compared to a girl who has never accepted offers for casual sex. It is also possible that women who have been used to switching partners will have a harder time being happy with just one partner long term.
While this coulf also be said of promiscuous men, the higher earner is the one who bares the most risk and since men are usually the higher eaners they have more reason to be skeptical of promiscuous women.

Decreased feeling of intimacy. It feels more special/intimate to know you are the second or third rather than the 15th. That you have something with her that she didn't share with many people. That you are part of an exclusive group. Like lets say you pay for dates and wait a month for sex but in the past she has been with 14 guys and most of them got it on the first date with no expectations of commitment.. It just wouldn't feel as intimate or special compared to if she had only had sex with two men and that they didn't get it easy either.

Ego. A promiscuous girl is someone who lots of guys were able to get into bed with not much effort and none of them wanted to commit to her. In a way she is the girl that everyone has had but nobody wanted. Guys dont feel as special sharing his resouces and committing to a girl that lots of other guys saw as nothing more than easy fuck.

Insecurity from being compared to her exs. Women typically have more options for sex than men do. So if an average guy dates an average girl who has slept around, it is unlikely that the guys she hooked up with were average like him. Most of the guys she hooked up with were probably more attractive, more experienced, and better endowed than he is.

Visuals.. I think part of it is just that the mental image of many different guys sleeping with your girl is unpleasant.

disgustingweebtrash · Accepted Answer

I don't want to have sex with a promiscuous woman, if I were i'd have to wear a full body condom like this

Nurse4Life · Answer

No commitment, No seeing someone on the good days and bad days.. Not having to deal with in-laws or family issues.. just reaping the "benefits" of a marriage or relationship without having to put in any work.. it's the easy way out

MackFreeze · Answer

Instant gratification, the pursuit of pleasure controls many.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It is because men do not believe that a promiscuous woman can be faithful to them.

hahahmm · Answer

Assuming the guy wants dating/marriage with anyone at all: Because most guys are stupid? It's silly to think that you can find women for one night stands every week but that you are somehow better than the people you are having sex with.

And the guys who only want to marry a virgin are insecure in my opinion. Probably too fixated on sex too so they think life is all about the size of the penis & a woman who has had bigger might laugh at him.

HGG3805 · Answer

I don't understand that either. Some kind of misinformed perspective and expectation. People are people. There is sex and there is great sex. Your partner's perspective and experience adds a lot the equation.
You are fooling yourself thinking that marrying a virgin or gal with minimal experience is going to be better or even just as good as what you were fortunate to enjoy in the past. The odds are pretty high that your new inexperienced partner is NOT going to be as much fun as you have been accustomed to. Will you settle for less knowing what you are missing? Will she open up and eagerly learn? You tell me. But you are not going to find out until you are married. I suggest you keep some phone numbers in your black book.

Rockmantis · Answer

I think you answered your own question.
However, it's clear that not all women who engage in casual sex are promiscuous and sleeping with a new guy every day or week. Sometimes a girl whose priority is relationships and marriage might meet a charismatic guy and be willing to have some casual sex because she wants to feel good.

So your question seems to be trying to shame both men and women who enjoy casual sex.

But to get back to your main question, you are assuming men "just want sex with promiscuous women." But actually in general, men want sex, and women do too. And men also want sex with women they have relationships with.

MuffinHead · Answer

Maybe they don't feel like they are worth getting to know better. Because of the way they look, possibly.

livelove143 · Answer

I'm promiscuous and I'm not easy

QueenofCups · Answer

A promiscuous past often means that a person, man or woman, is more likely to cheat.

Cammy137 · Answer

My girlfriend has an extensive sexual past and it doesn't bother me at all. It certainly didn't stop me entering into a relationship with her

tzdc21 · Answer

Let me explain the four big reasons why it matters to a man when dealing with a woman. Buckle up, this is gonna take a while.

1) Men and Women are both biologically hardwired to be attracted and disgusted by certain things. It just so happens that one of the things we guys are instinctively disgusted by are promiscuous women as our girlfriend and/or wife. That's just our nature, just like how it's in a woman's nature to look for a man who can provide and protect. Now when it comes to just sex, they won't care, but a committed relationship is a whole different ballpark.

2) Stats show that the higher a woman's body count, the more likely she will initiate breakups ans divorces. AND it's more likely she will have mental problems down the long run. You lose your ability to pair bond with every new sexual partner you have, and that's what helps relationships work through tough times... or in general.

3) When you (a woman) are in a relationship with a man, you are becoming a representation of that man, whether you know it or not. That means that what you say or do is gonna affect him to. So therefore, if you're a hoe, or you say or do some crazy and stupid stuff, not only are you putting yourself in a bad light, but you're putting your boyfriend/husband in a bad light. Because everyone is gonna be like, "This crazy girl is his?" or "This hoe is who he is taking seriously?" That is embarrassing for any man, even if he won't admit it to others or himself.

4) THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON. There is a reason why since the dawn of time, men have demanded that the woman they take seriously are virgins. Not all guys nowadays want virgins now, but still want lower body counts from the woman they take seriously. And the reason why is because they want to ensure paternity. I assume I would be correct if I were to say that a deep dark fear for a lot of women is being r@ped in a dark alley by some creep. That deep feeling of fear that you get, the male equivalent to that is when he busts his ass, investing his blood, sweat, and tears into raising a child, and then finding out one day that the kid was never his. That's why guys have an issue with taking promiscuous women seriously. Because if you take a promiscuous woman seriously, and she gets pregnant, there's a good chance that child may not be yours.

JayCasper777 · Answer

Because guys dont like sluts as girlfriend's. Its nothing to be proud of.

sudharshanaram · Answer

Women who couldn't control her sexual behaviour for a long time.. would have tough time in a relationship... and that would affect all of them involved... including the children to be..

Cosytoasty · Answer

Promiscuous women *usually* follow a certain mould.

Let's say they're not the intelligent, caring, witty, funny girls that you take home and show your parents. They're *usually* horrible people and come with a cart load of baggage.

Realistically, unless she tells you the truth about it, there isn't a way to tell if a woman has slept with 1 or 100 men.

11110000bbbb · Answer

Because men like to have a relationship with someone who has good thoughts about it, like if a women has done it before than it can make a thought that she could cheat in the future, especially if she's had many sexual partners.

Dude55 · Answer

I'll date "promiscuous" women, I have in the past and I don't give a shit, I'm fine as long as she's not bring it up.

jakeiremonger · Answer

We don't want to walk in on them getting boned by another dude in our bed.

whilstinlove · Answer

double-standard

JDavid25 · Answer

Well, simply cause promiscuous women are easy.. Men wanna get they dick wet there they go.. And they will also be pretty good at sex.. But, it could be a number of things really.. Maybe they didn't find her attractive, and just wanted to get in that booty, or they feel like she's good for fun, but not settlin down, and makin a nice life with them.. Men really want a girl to love, but many times we can get clouded but our desires and let them take over..