Personally I don't go for the bad boy bullshit, but if I had to guess I think it would have something to do with the idea of attaining someone unattainable. Having someone who's a complete ass and is in general very tough, but really sweet and vulnerable to you and you alone is a fantasy a lot of women seem to have, which isn't helped by the fact that a "bad boy" is also usually one hell of a sweet talker and can easily lull these girls into a false sense of security. There's also the fantasy of saving someone evil and turning them into a good person through sheer power of TLC; taming the beast so to speak. It's a lot of things really, mostly just unrealistic fancies of inexperienced, idealistic young women.
I second that.. She said it all.
I upvoted you
Thank you.
I did that too lol😛
@CarpetDenim is one of the most sensible girls on G@G haha🤗
@Halucinator That's high praise lol, thank you
haha that's what I really think😊
@CT_CD I want MHO
Thank you, how long ago was this tho wtf I used to be eloquent as fuuuuck
4 years ago
I wasn’t on GaG four years ago, but I believe you. Oof tho that argument with MlleCake down below, I remember that. That was one of my proudest moments on here.
I want a good guy who can hold his own, i think a mix is good.
I think most women just like the excitement of a bad boy and are attracted more to them because they tend to be very confident charming and charismatic, where as lots of nice guys are more shy and don't put themselves out there as much.
You said it!
Please i give M&ms
nuts.com/.../ad8c369755a1b47f.jpg
Thank you
Unlike women, I admit - I love bad girls, because they are more likely to be dominant ;)
I want MHO
Thank you for MHO
I can’t 😂
Meee
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I mean... most women will go for the guys who actually approach them. Which just so happen to be the type that self-proclaimed 'nice guys' sitting in the corner will call bad boys.
Really so your telling every guy here if they approached you, you would go out with them? Even if the looked like me? Fat and Unattractive?
@Uglyman1001 .. no. I have no idea how my saying that guys who actually talk to women have higher chances of success equated to me saying I'd date anyone.
But you said most women I assume you would be in that category? Are you admitting you only go after looks?
@Uglyman1001 ... I didn't mention looks.
I know you didn't but my guess is you care about them.
It's like what they say about the lottery, you can't win if you don't play.
Shiet there are so many NiceGuys™ on this webiste
haha that was so harsh for some dudes! but nevertheless i agree with you, it's something like that what happens
It is kind of pointless to reply to the question, so I am agreeing with this answer, just with a little change... Most women finds a relationship with some of the "bad" guys because this type of guy is the one who by definition is more extrovert and doesn't care about social etiquette much, so the chance is higher, just statistics 📈
@Plumy The problem is what gets defined as "bad guy" is not always bad but a lot of times it is just somebody that is adventurous. I used to be labeled a "bad guy" but I wasn't, just adventurous like I said. In my case it was meant as a compliment. A real bad guy though women need to stay away from.
@Hwlsop yes, I agree, it is only a way of saying... "bad" people are nice too
If you mean bad boy as in characters like Fonzie or Johnny Castle, yes! I was never really attracted to preppy-pretty boys in high school or the uber-jock types. I was all about the alt-outcasts, punky skater dudes. Which I prefer "bad girls" as well, they're a lot more fun.
They mean a guy who is a dick to you, it's less about the style and more about them getting upset that girls don't go after "nice" guys like them.
@Gianna17 I was more or less being sarcastic with my response. But thank you for informing me about the obvious meaning. No, I'm not attracted to anyone mistreating others. Especially if they mistreat others for fun or no other valid reasons.
Sorry i can't detect sarcasm through texts. There's no tone of voice present so there's few ways to distinguish unless you are obviously saying something super ridiculous that no one would ever say. I don't know you personally so I don't know what you value.
@Gianna17 This would be the moment I apologize, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. Just a simple misunderstanding.
I'm not asking for an apology, just explaining myself.
Probably because you are assuming that all women on the planet have somehow fused into a blob and that you think they are all the same.
Questions like "why do women...", or "why do men..." are quite stupid and pointless.
The women who are attracted to bad boys are NOT the same women who deny being attracted to bad boys. Just like the women who are against sexualizing the female body are NOT the same women who work as models, or work at Hooters.
In fact, my answer probably applies to most of the questions on this site. The answer to your vote is that "SOME" women like bad boys, and "SOME" women like nice guys.
You have assumed, and wrongly so, that all women think and act exactly the same, which is why your question is stupid.
Think it’s more of the feeling their behavior brings. A lot of women/ girls have this beauty and the beast fairytale look on love and Relationships and believe that relationships are supposed to have some sort of complications and hardships and that EVENTUALLY things will get better because he finally realizes that she’s someone worth holding onto. This is why so many allow themselves to constantly be treated poorly by the same guy over and over again.
Also, most “assholes” are usually categorized as the guys who’ve never been properly loved and it causes us to put on this captain save a h*e cape and try to be the person we believe that person needs.
99.9% of the time, the results are always the same and a lot of women would rather chase behind what they THINK they want because they already have feelings tied to it rather than going for someone they need. For instance, let’s say you start dating a girl who’s been through it with her last boyfriend. He cheated multiple times, disrespectful towards her, was verbally and emotionally abusive, etc. 9/10 it took her close to a year to finally leave this guy alone and there’s a HIGH possibility that he was the one who cut contact. She starts dating you, you’re putting in 100% effort trying to show her you wanna be with her than another 100% trying to make up for what he caused and doing everything he didn’t. 5 months later, he reappears in her life and now she’s back with him. She goes back because she has way more of an emotional attachment to him and ironically, with a lot of weaker females... being treated like shit makes them fall a lot faster
The list can go on and on but that’s the main things.
It's awesome that you can actually admit to the harsh truths of the nature of attraction, the bit where you said a lot of weaker females fall a lot faster for those that treat them like shit. That's science baby.
Any girl who acknowledges she's with a bad dude but thinks he's the beast, is seriously confused and naive though I think, as that dude is clearly Gaston. What happened to Gaston? He got dropped. He was thrown away. And the beast was chosen, embraced, and he became more cosmetically beautiful. Now his becoming more cosmetically beautiful is actually a metaphor I believe. See Gaston is.. http://bit.ly/2BuPSGf , yeah going for the classic example, and the Beast is, I dunno' I'll go with.. http://bit.ly/2BtiX54 that is one weird looking dude. But the thing is Gaston, as handsome as he is, turns out to be really flipping ugly, hence why he's dropped. And the beast, turns out to be beautiful. Amidst his large, hulking shape, hunchback and hairiness, she has seen that he has a be
autiful soul, and so he becomes beautiful in her eyes. So that transformation at the end, could be seen as a metaphor, for how someone becomes so damn attractive to an individual, so much that the individual is hugely aroused by thoughts of being with them sexually, the person is hot as fuck, because of the beauty inside. It's a huge, hulking, hunchback hairy dude but she sees him as a gorgeous handsome man, because of who he is. This is why the girls I am attracted to aren't the kind that influence the first impression of "hot! so hot!", but they become hotter than anyone else because of who they are and their personality. Personality, character, are the hottest things.
I believe women fancy men who are very confident, which often happen to be the most adventurous and "bad" to perception.
Confidence is a trait often found in risky people (call them bad if you wish). Beware though that the more mature that person is, the less naughty he will be, yet still keeping that confidence and halo of "bad boy".
That could also explain why normally women are more attracted to older men.
"Bad boys" can have a certain allure, but most women are sensible enough to recognize when a guy is not going to be a good partner. The stereotype of the girl who chases bad boys again and again even though they hurt her does not apply to the majority of females.
I think girls and women like bad boys when they're not actually looking for stability. The younger you are the more you're into that. You're naive and have plenty of time for screw ups. As a teen I was into the bad boy want because I wanted to make him into a reformed bad boy because I was just so damn great. lmao. Live and learn. I was never into the player. which I separate from bad boy personally. I've ever been used and thrown away. I just picked guys that got into a ton of trouble. That had more of a possibility of heading to juvie, than him jumping into another girls bed.
I mean a true player is a form of bad boy. The reason you described may be why you think you wanted that kinda' person, but at its' very most fundamental, scientific explanation it's because you were sexually attracted to that kind of man and wanted that kind of man to fuck you without any kind of responsibility. This is an inherent part of the nature of young women, whether they know it or not; they want to get fucked by men who don't care about them much. Even my closest friend, who's only been with two guys, she said that when she broke up with the last one she thought she was going to have sex with loads of guys but then she was too scared to go through with it. She wants to have sex with loads of guys, whether young women know it or not, are willing to accept it or not, it is so.
@Electric_Dreams Well Im sure on i was sexually attracted to him. But no, I've always been serious about anyone I dated. I think player is a category all on its own, because all he's doing is sleeping with women and not wanting anything more. A bad boy is litterally bad. Gets in differnet levels of trouble, seems broken, might be on or involved with drugs, etc. So I'll have to disagree with you there's a very distinct difference to me and I've seen both and theyre issues/ actions are very different. I bad boy can be a player as well though. I've never been with a player though. I dated the "bad boy" because I was atttacted to him. But because I wanted to fix him. I wanted to make his life better so he'd stop doing bad things. Women/girls are known to love a "project" and to feel special. So they think they can fix and he'll change for her and for himself.
@Electric_Dreams Sure there's tons of girls that just fuck and dont do serious so I can't completely say you're wrong on that front. Obviously with the case of your friend. But I have never wanted to fuck a buch of guys. Not even a little.
I have decided to apologise for my initial comments on the grounds that they were biased and motivated by my inner pain body which is driven primarily by anger and pain. It was cynical, generalising and worded too harshly.. it was downright offensive.. a word which I do not use lightly and have only recently accepted as a word, due to how it is brandished like a weapon, way too often, in contemporary society. That was not me, that was my inner pain body. I am working to correct myself, working towards achieving spiritual enlightenment and towards reconditioning my body and mind. In short, I was being a prick. I apologise.
@Electric_Dreams No worries. I wasn't offended. I realize guys have your view. Its just a difference in opinion. Your comment really wasn't bad.
You're just not paying attention, and you also don't know very many women outside your immediate age group, so you don't really know what we like or who we date.
by the way, you're one of the bad ones, so are you getting lots of dates?
@CT_CD is a nice guy
@CarpetDenim Thank you
@CT_CD You're welcome
He would be if he wasn't so constantly and vociferously anti-feminist.
Anti-feminism is da wae
Maybe in your mind, but not a lot of women I know want to date a man who believes such shameful things. To me his attitude is indefensible, and he's not even close to being a "good guy" who is getting passed over for dates. Sexists don't make great partners, by in large.
Hey hey hey, being anti-feminist does not equate to being sexist. If anything, in my opinion, it's the exact opposite. Anti-feminism is anti-misandry.
I'm not really concerned with what you think. He's demonstrated who he is and what he believes. Men like him rarely make good partners in this day and age. It's 2018 now.
@CT_CD has demonstrated that he's a rational man who believes men shouldn't be wrongly and unfairly scapegoated for all the false problems feminists make up to victimize themselves and women in general. He's aware of the fact that society holds women up on a pedestal and coddles them while unjustly condemning men, and he knows that isn't right and calls it out. I find that incredibly admirable, and fortunately, considerably more people than you realize share these sentiments.
@CarpetDenim None of that is true though, and that's what makes him a bad partner.
But it is true. The type of feminism you grew up with and came to know years ago is not at all the feminism of today. It was tolerable, necessary even then, but now it simply isn't.
@CarpetDenim I am still a feminist of today. I neither believe you know much of what feminism of the 1960s and 70s was about, nor do you understand much of it today. He, and it appears you, get your information from biased sources that aren't telling you the truth. Yes, I'm sure you've seen "youtube videos", but at least he has demonstrated a very poor grasp of how to discern truth from fiction in media sources, and he has doubled down on his sexism, believing all sorts of nonsense to back him up. Why would that make a good partner for any woman in 2018. If you go for guys like that, don't expect to be treated well in your relationships. They aren't good men. They are the definition of not good men. You can have all of them you want. But I think this whole question is a laugh. It reads like "When I am nothing but a total douche about women, why do other guys get women when I don't?"
I don't get my information from YouTube videos, I've developed my opinion and my understanding based on my interactions with feminists themselves and on my interactions with women in general. I don't go for anybody, but I do associate myself with people of similar values to my own and to this guy's, and I've been treated with nothing but the utmost respect and admiration, so you've got some misconceptions about that.
Let me know how that's working for you in 30 years.
" He would be if he wasn't so constantly and vociferously anti-feminist. " >> lol since when being anti-feminist automatically means one is a "bad guy"? how "politically correct" your country has become to get to this point?
@KnightCross Sexism is a deplorable, and indefensible philosophy of life. It is incompatible with being a good person. It's not about being PC, it's about human rights.
MlleCake you got schooled, educated, corrected and proven wrong by a 15 year old. This 15 year old girl clearly, evidently, has more actual knowledge and awareness of the issue at debate than you do, and it is hilarious. Your final response in debate with her appears to be an epitomising example of this whereby you resorted to a petty, sardonic remark "let me know how that's working for you in 30 years" in response to her pure success in debating you with intellect, knowledge and without any kind of implications of aggression whatsoever. Third wave feminism actually IS misandry in disguise. Tell me what you have done for feminism in contemporary society, and then tell me which parts of the world you think feminism is needed the most. I highly doubt the two will equate. Actually I invite you to inform me of the many reasons feminism is so essentially necessary in contemporary western society, and in return I will inform you of how and why masculism would benefit contemporary western so
ciety, or more accurately men in contemporary western society. The fact that masculism is still not a recognised words speaks to the problem regarding double standards in the consideration of the well being of women against the consideration of the well being of men. This is the closest to a male equivalent to feminism and it is not even a recognised word. Then again, I suppose it's only really since the horrifying rise of third wave feminism AKA misandry, that the notion of a need for masculism has emerged.
@CarpetDenim Well done to you. At 15 years old you have educated and corrected this much older woman in a debate, and maintained the higher moral ground.. of someone whose age might imply she should be a role model to you! HA!
@Electric_Dreams Thank you so much, you just made my entire day haha
@Electric_Dreams I see you're a Kool-Aid drinker yourself. Neither she, nor you have educated yourselves at all, and it's obvious to anyone who is actually an active feminist that you don't have your facts straight because you're only getting your information from biased sources. In your little echo chamber of ideas, of course, you never get any diverse voices, so you will never actually know what feminism is or what it is doing. And you'll continue to believe in this myth of men now having fewer rights because women have many more now. Just gaining rights for women doesn't take away rights from men. It's not and it has never been a zero sum game. @CarpetDenim You haven't corrected me in any fashion because you're simply not correct.
"... you don't have your facts straight because you're only getting your information from biased sources. In your little echo chamber of ideas, of course, you never get any diverse voices, so you will never actually know what feminism is or what it is doing." I'm sorry, did you happen to miss the part where I said I've developed my opinion and understanding based on my interactions with FEMINISTS themselves? These are things I've noticed on my own, and then later met other people who've noticed the same or very similar things. The conclusion that feminism is a scourge on society is one that I have arrived at after observation. I'm a very rationale-driven person, and I wouldn't be calling out things if they weren't actually happening.
@CarpetDenim Yes, and you're 15. I have had 30 more years of interacting with feminists of all ages. Seriously, you don't know what you don't know. I'll be happy to talk about it anytime you want to DM if you'd actually like to learn truths about what feminism has done or is doing. I'll talk to you about the fact that feminism isn't even in its 3rd wave right now, and how that's just a misstatement and a misunderstanding about a misstatement at this point. I can tell how you've learned about feminism by which conservative dog whistles you use.
@MlleCake You do not have more experience in the current political climate than her, because the recent frightening surge of misandry masquerading as feminism is a very recent phenomenon. The last five years really. "And you'll continue to believe in this myth of men now having fewer rights because women have many more now. Just gaining rights for women doesn't take away rights from men." I don't know why you think I believe that. It's a ridiculous notion. What rights have feminists earned for women in this millennium in your country? Once again I ask you to tell me what you have done for feminism in contemporary society, and to tell me in which parts of the world you think feminism is needed the most. In return I will tell you the ways in which men appear to be treated worse in contemporary western society than women.
@Electric_Dreams If you want to discuss it further, my DMs are open. My point is that sexists and anti-feminists who are lying to themselves that they aren't sexists make bad partners for women. I stick by it. I'm not going to hash it out endlessly on this question. Heck, if you want to post these questions publicly, and invite me to answer publicly, you can do that too. And seriously, 15 year old women are not going to be as politically astute as much older people, only because they lack the education and emotional maturity of a grown person. I don't say that to dismiss @CarpetDenim. I encourage her to expose herself to more ideas and more concepts to help develop more astute political views as she becomes a more mature person. I've asked her the same. I'm open to discussion. But this question's discussion is off the rails, and I am done with it. Let's take it to another venue.
@Eletric_Dreams I have been following this discussion too but I don't really believe she is just 15. I don't actually think that a 15 years old would have such reasoning, social awareness, maturity and verbal articulation to debate as she did here. probably she (or he) is a fake
@Electric_Dreams
@KnightCross If that's what you'd like to think then go right ahead lol. You don't have to believe I'm real.
@CarpetDenim actually i have never seen a 15 years old girl complimenting a random guy at internet (CT_CD) with such polite and rational words as you did too
@KnightCross CT_CD's kind of a loose friend. I've interacted with him plenty before on here and I know him.
Because i've probably got more in common with them and they don't beat around the bush. Nice guys act like they're super wonderful but so many are basically complementing their way into a girls pants, nothing else.
Because I've seen family members go through abusive/toxic relationships and wished the bad people would vanish from the face of the earth, I've had friends get pummeled by their boyfriends and saw straight blood. And a couple months ago, after months of my downstairs neighbor's boyfriend cheating on her, robbing her, dealing drugs from her apartment, robbing my dad, beating her elderly dogs, etc (all within my earshot and view) She finally got kicked out. I'll be damned if that's how my life winds up.
Truly "bad guys" are like vermin. I want my life as cleared of them as possible.
@KnightCross He was a criminal. He also used to try and intimidate my pregnant neighbor because her boyfriend told him to stop coming to our property and disrespecting our neighbor (his battered girlfriend). He'd bring prostitutes, smoke God knows what and have his friends come around and shoot up drugs. They would dump syringes and beer cans on our porch and in the basement and at the time my neighbor's kid was only 3 and loved to play around our property, she just turned 4 recently. I wanted to break his face everytime I crossed his path.
hm.. that does not sound a new story for me, by the way are you from Spain or Latin America?
Oh and that's not even considering the thousands it cost my dad to repair the first floor because he would get high and literally start cutting through doors and walls with power tools or bust doors off of their hinges and frames when his girlfriend tried to hide from him, the guy was a freakshow and no, I don't find that cute. He intentionally ran the faucets for days as an FU to my dad when his girlfriend got the eviction notice. My dad had to pay the utility, water, electric bills for her (she stopped paying rent), then he had to pay to get them evicted, then he had to pay to clean up the trash they dumped and store their belongings, then he had to do most of the repairs himself, and pay for the rest.
I'm from America. Sorry you have to deal with this stuff too.
@KnightCross
omg is that in America? how common is that? I thought America was a developed country where most of people were civilized
@KnightCross Crazy is as crazy does. Some people are just plain evil/poisonous. America has its fair share of wicked people.
omg... thanks for the information... the more I know about US the more deluded i become
@KnightCross You're welcome lol
@CT_CD I do
You were 20 seconds too late. I'm sorry
It's okay lol. Maybe next time.
Can we please stop oversimplifying everything and mushing all the different types of personalities there are in just two stereotypes? Thank you.
Your comments make a lot of sense. Too bad it's going to deaf ears. Or more accurately to eyes glued shut. Ok I don't know where I was going with this metaphor.
well they deny it because they try to avoid being slut shamed for falling easy for the so called bad boys or players, that is it, the denial is a form to avoid the stigma associated with falling easy for bad boys.
I don't know, let's ask Jessica Alba
[WARNING: graphic content]
Women like nice guys, they just don't like guys who's only quality is being "nice". I dated my ex even though I wasn't attracted to him because he was "nice" and i thought I had set my standards too high, and he cheated on me and broke up with me on my birthday because i didn't have sex with him soon enough.
omg but you are only 17 and he already wanted sex?
To be fair if you think there is any such thing as a person who's only quality is being nice, then I believe you are very naive. It's just that you spoke of that kind of person as if it's a person that actually exists; it is not. Anyone who is actually nice, will have other qualities. There is no such thing as a guy who's only quality is being nice.
@electric_dreams no i do believe that people have other qualities, my point is that I don't have to date a guy for the sole purpose that he is "nice" if I don't like anything else about him. I'm not required to have sex with every man who tips his fedora at me.
@KnightCross most people lose their virginity around 16-17 , it's not uncommon
most people? maybe only at USA then i didn't lost my virginity that early
@Knightcross your profile says you are 14, of course you haven't lost your virginity
hahaha
They don't understand themselves mostly. Most guys know this because they've seen it happen over and over again.
Girl dates an asshole
Girl complains about him
Girl gets cheated on, treated like shit
It ends
She complains that she just wants a nice guy
Guys ask her out, she might go on dates with a few of them
She friend-zones quite a few - "there's no spark" - she finds them boring
She gets into a new relationship
Complains to friend-zoned guy about him
It ends badly again
Complains that she wants a nice guy
Even worse - she says to the guy friend "I wish I could find a guy like you", and then when he says "well I'm a guy like me" she laughs it off and says "no I didn't mean you"
Gets into another relationship
Same again
Over and over again
I even had this conversation with my girlfriend and it's funny because at the beginning I acted kind of like an asshole. We met online and I wrote my profile intentionally meaning to sound like an arrogant prick to test out this theory, in which I bashed feminists, fat girls, short haired girls etc.
The funny thing is that before when I sounded like a nice guy I got no responses from messages I sent out, but after I did this I had women messaging me first, and she was one of them and now we've been together for almost 5 years. Perhaps after talking to me she realised that I wasn't as much of an asshole as I was pretending to be, then again I don't really like feminists, fat girls or short haired women so I guess I kind of am, if that counts.
Arrogant arse 😘
It's an inherent part of their biological nature, to be attracted to men who pay less attention to them, appear to care about them less, treat them badly. Why is quite a mystery, but it is so.
Why do they deny it? Either they are actually oblivious to it due to being blind slaves to their own biology, or they are in denial/refuse to accept the inevitable truth.
Why are guys obessessed with the thought that women only want bad boys? okay yeah some women like messing around with foolry but a lot us of really aren't into jackasses as much you guys believe we are.
And a lot guys seem to think being nice should score them any girl they want or some sex. there's nice and then there "nice". If we think you're the "nice" guy, then we know you're just that jackass in disguise.
it seems like the dating logic in North America revolves around "scoring" no wonder there are so many degenerates out there
Not obsessed just frustrated that women are not upfront about it. If women would just admit they want bad boys fine, its the claiming one thing and doing another that gets most men irritated. I personally don't care if she wants a bad boy, I just care when she descides to complain incessantly that all men are assholes because she refuses to date any one who isn't and some how this reflects on all men instead of on her and her poor choice in men. Either go after the nice guys like you say, or go after the bad boys and stop complaining when the inevitable happens. No different then when a guy wants a really crazy sexual girl then bitches when she wants to do something to crazy for him or cheats on him, it was his damn choice he should suffer the consequences of it, in silence.
I think these are the guys who have repeatedly been rejected by women in favour of that kind of man, to then watch these women get treated like shit but apparently love it? .. because they keep doing it over and over again either with the same guy or other guys, and even basically admit that they are attracted to idiots but they can't do anything about it. Although, having just read what helionthesageborn said, yeah, this is highly problematic. That kind of double standard, is deplorable. I see it regularly on social media, girls making horrifically generalising and misandrist statements about men. Y'know the current political climate concerning the rise of third wave feminism AKA misandry in disguise, well that may actually be caused by bad men treating women a certain way, those women allowing it to happen and embracing it as an ultimate truth about all men. So now so many young women seem convinced that all men are misogynists, and have in turn become misandrists.
@hellionthesagereborn women don't have to be upfront about it cause it's not true. I didn't care for the bad boy and I'm not with a bad boy. You guys just think this is true cause your constantly listening to what other men are saying all the time. Just cause a woman didn't want to date you, doesn't mean she likes or wants an asshole guys, it just means you weren't for her and she's not for you.
But the vast majority of women do want the bad boy. www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-do-women-fall-bad-boys
Just because you personally may not does not mean that the majority of women don't. As I said personally I wouldn't care except that they lie about it, they say they want nice guys but then immediately go for an asshole. That means the guy cannot find a woman who will match his values i. e. nice guys cannot find nice girls because every girl claims to want a nice guy but most don't so he doesn't know which girls to go after. Then you have the issue that many of these women go after the asshole wanting the excitement and drama (even dumping the nice guy for this kind of man: www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ow-Im-childless-42.html )
then after getting burned by them try to get a nice guy after the fact which makes the guy feel understandably used. That's the only real issue, again, if women where consistent (women in general, obviously not all women are this way (shouldn't have to clarify that)) we wouldn't have an issue. It has nothing to do with a woman not wanting to date you, that's just an excuse women throw out when they get called out. The issue is women say they want a nice guy and so a guy will think "oh that's me" then think he has a chance and then it turns out he doesn't. Then after this happens multiple times he gets jaded because all these women keep saying they want a nice guy so he wastes his time and energy on these women who don't want him when he could have been trying to establish a relationship with some one who does. That's the issue. You can't see that because your not the one who has to do the approaching and take all the risks and stress of rejection, but he does and its frustrating.
That's the issue, not that their secretly assholes (sure some are but most are not), not that their whiny and pathetic because they want what every one else wants (like many women like to claim), they are not evil and bad and that's why women don't want to be with them, its because they are being given mixed signals and they are being told to keep behaving in this way and some one will want you only to find out after many many attempts (and usually the course of years of being alone) that no, that's not what women want. That's why you hear these same people who then go and act like an asshole and like they don't care and suddenly women want them now and they are pissed about it (many men have complained about this, how they want to be themselves and be nice but for some reason women only want them when they act like an asshole). Again, not every woman (but then not every nice guy either), but many.
@hellionthesagereborn Amazingly put in your last three comments man. That is it, so well demonstrated. I truly believe that the dynamic of courting and relationships between males and females in contemporary society is horrifically unhealthy, damaging, hurtful and harmful.. to everyone. We are all suffering because we as a society are allowing ourselves, collectively, to behave disgracefully. Everyone is enabling everyone else, and everyone is contributing to the dehumanisation of everyone else.
@Electric_Dreams It does go both ways, I think men need to be honest and women need to be honest about what they want and then hold their ground. A lot of men will put aside their feelings just to get with a girl, the nice guy who gets the girl after she has been jumping from bad boy to bad boy and that's as bad as when a woman claims to want a nice guy and then goes after the bad boy. Both need to be upfront and both need to hold to their line and not give way.
Sure every girl has their type, but I feel like most girls like a guy who’s kinda down the middle. A good guy who isn’t a complete push over. A guy who’s polite but also willing to speak up when it’s necessary. I know it’s always “supposed to” be the guy who likes the chase but girls like to chase a little too. We don’t like to feel like the guy is desperate to be ours. Guys who complain about never getting the girl because they’re too nice isn’t the actual reason girls don’t like them. It’s because they have other qualities girls don’t like. You can be a nice person but still have unlikable qualities.
Bad boys are exciting and charismatic. But they are not good for marriage. Nice boys are nice but too nice is boring sometimes. I'd like balance of both.
Bad boys are more confident, assured and usually more experienced; personally I'm mad about the bad!
^Finally who speaks the truth for most women out there!!!
OK, so what if one day I get the courage to start talking to women again does that make me a Bad Boy all of a sudden? Of course not, If what your saying is true then wouldn't all guys who approach be a Bad Boy? And wouldn't that make the ugly guys like me attractive? The answer is still no.
@Uglyman1001simply talking to women doesn't make a guy bad, it's the talking to women with a certain cavalier tone, language and attitude. Being ugly is irrelevant to both the question asked and the answer I gave here... However, good luck in your future romancing endeavours.
So your not even gonna admit I'm right?
@Uglyman1001 Right about what? If you're suggesting that just talking to women doesn't make you a 'bad' guy, then yes you agree with me and are right.
About how looks play a big part I'm sure you wouldn't date an ugly ''Bad Boy'' over a good looking one?
@Uglyman1001 yeah, I think that's fair; if there are two guys with similar personalities and qualities then I would be more attracted to the more attractive of the two.
And you would probably reject someone who looked like me.
@Uglyman1001 I would reject you because you sound like a manic depressive who can't talk to women, not solely on your looks. I'm not going to patronise you and say if two guys chatted me up then a physical attraction wouldn't be a factor, but it's really not most girls' main concern.
You do realize some guys are just too shy to approach or know what to say right? I was gonna show you what I look like but you only accept PM's from followers only.
@Uglyman1001 I absolutely accept some guys don't know what to say to girl or don't have the confidence to talk to us, but that's just one part of what makes a bad boy. In the context of this question and my answer, I just said bad boys are more confident; I'm looking for a guy to show me he's the funniest guyin the room then tell me he's the best shag I'm going to have for a very long time.
I've now changed my settings.
At least you are honest about how you feel about bad guys :P I hate it when women say that they only want nice guys... Such bullshit! Haha
Because it's not the badness that the girls find attractive.
That's the quality that the so-called "nice" guys focus on, because then they can blame their singledom on the girls stupidity instead of the fault which lies in themselves and which they would have to change.
My last 2 long term relationships seemed like lovely, caring guys, but both cheated. I wanted a good guy but the only 2 guys I loved were bad
i am sorry for you, American society need to be reformed
I live in the UK. Nothing to do with the society, most know the difference between right and wrong. And if a relationship isn't working for them they should break it off not cheat. Cheating is inexcusable and causes a lot of hurt.
I'm surprised that Brittish lads are doing shit over there, but maybe you were just unlucky and not that most of them are assholes like that. and I know that cheating is totally inexcusable but people do because they don't care for morality and other people's feelings
You are very wise beyond your years. Cheating happens a lot of here, both girls and guys are guilty of it. And you hit the nail on the head they just don't care.
thank you but i am not a teenager actually haha by the way I didn't know UK was that sluggish as you say it is... the whole Western world needs to be restored to their Catholic roots!! hahaha
Haha it says you are 14. I think cheaters are everywhere and just in the UK. I am not a believer so I would not say people being more religious would make people less morally wrong. I don't believe in God but I am a good person through and through which comes from my upbringing.
oh i see... look at my profile page i'm not from Antartica too haha by the way i can't believe you never believed in God ever nor never went to a church before
I have been half asleep and stressed most the week so apologies. I don't believe I said never believed in God or never been in a church, I said don't as in this current. I believed in him for a short period and I stopped believing. And I have been in church just not to pray but to attend relatives weddings. I don't think my beliefs make me any less of a good human. Lots of people who believe in different religions. have committed evil atrocities.
haha apologize for what? anyway are you overworking? by the way why did you stop believing? why don't you check out Sunday mass to see how it goes?
Because I didn't read your profile correctly, I apologise too much haha. Not overworking, it has just been a stressful week. I have been to family Catholic weddings, they are long and my arse feels numb because I have been there so long. It was a very temporary belief, I was young. It just isn't for me. I don't go into epic debates about religion.
when you were young? lol you say like you are an old granny haha by the way why do you say it's not for you? i don't believe God created somebody that is not fit for Him
Yes before I was a teenager which is over 20 years ago haha. It just isn't, I don't debate religion or force my not believing on anyone. Every person is entitled to their own beliefs
ok i believe that each one is entitled to their own opinions but knowing better a subject, in this case, religion, specifically Christianity, opens your mind to have more solid arguments to believe in your position and view on it :) and why when were you a teenager you believed?
I am very well educated and a very smart and came to my own conclusion. You shouldn't assume what I do or do not know about various religions. My own reasons for temporary belief are exactly that my own and I will not need to justify that to someone I will never meet or become part of my life.
haha chill lady! calm down i just asked a question no need to be that angry with that... isn't that sort of psychological defense mechanism?
No I just don't debate about religion or have discussions about it. It bores me and talking about provides no use to my life
i see... have you asked why you feel that bored and angry when Christianity comes to talk? don't need to answer me, answer yourself if you don't feel like it
I know why I do not believe I just choose to keep it to myself and those who know me best.
ok... i can understand your pain
No only I will
anything you can talk to me , i know how to be agood friend too besides being a good crusader haha
I don't trust many new people in my life going by original post. You have no idea how much I was betrayed. And I don't tar everyone I meet with that brush I just don't trust easy
i have an idea by the talk we are having right now... but anyway you can message to me in private any time not sure if it's a good idea if you keep exposing your weakness here openly in those comments
I am strong not weak, don't let my comments fool. Anyone would have their guard up in my situation it is human nature
Not again! another whining man who can't get a girl!
That's little sexists don't you think? The same can be said about women who can't or couldn't get Mr. Right.
@Uglyman1001 They are whining woman if they bitch about the fact that men are only after bad girls
Well the majority of women and probably even you will find me unattractive so I need not worry.
@Uglyman1001 Oof! Boom! Burn! Yes! Get in! Ooooh! Damn that's gotta' hurt! .. are there any more? Any I haven't said yet?
Why would you want a woman who is attracted to bad guys anyway?
Well, there are two options at play here:
1. There's a global conspiracy in which all women in the world are trying to convince all men that they like Nice Guys, and then behave in a contradictory manner.
2. You're wrong.
Which do you think is more likely?
No one likes a sycophant. You'd date a bad girl too if you had the choice :P
Bad boys are actually honest. And honesty is in short supply.
Because the only redeemable quality in a self proclaimed “nice guy” is being nice, and most of the time he’s not.
Because they don't want to seem slutty
@sc15022 there are other qualities besides nice that aren’t slutty.
Girls like bad boys because it's what turns them on. Typically the bad boys are guys who know their way around a clit and that treat them like crap, which women also like. I'm not talking about physical or sexual abuse either
It's also generally certain that nice guys are less confident in themselves and always try to bend over backwards to make themselves seem worthy. It makes the guy look pretty desperate and less manly. This coming from someone who also questioned the idea of why being a nice guy to girls didn't get me anywhere
@sc15022 women like gentlemen. The ones who don’t call themselves “nice guys”. Maybe your problem is you chase girls, not women/ladies. (Not talking about age).
What qualities do ladies and gentleman have that makes them different from girls and guys?
@sc15022 class.
Not everyone who conducts themselves in a decent manner is a good person
A guy could be much nicer to his own mother and friends than you, does that make him classy or not?
@sc15022 class isn’t nice, it’s conducting yourself morally all the time. And lmao, I love that only guys downvoted this. Proving my point further.
What's immoral about being a bad boy?
@sc15022 well, I’m not saying bad boys can’t be moral. I’m saying anyone who says they’re a “nice guy” as their main thing isn’t. But you just moved off the topic.
Okay I agree with you there, and I did. You gotta watch out for self-proclaimed nice guys, they're fuckin creeps sometimes 😂
Check out the nice guy subreddit for some laughter-inducing cringe
@sc15022 haha, yeah. If one the man's quality is a nice, classy gentleman-ly guy, then hell yeah girls would be all over him. (or at least, ones who had self respect... most dont in this age) But most men now aren't like that, and the ones that are don't go around boasting it like "nice guys" do.
They typically start giving the gentlemen/nice guy more attention once it's too late. By then, they've already found someone else that's more attractive and younger. Yeah, never trust "nice guys", they finish last for a reason 😜
Same reason as why guys only drool over the cheap and fake girls.
what do you mean by "cheap and fake" girls?
@KnightCross what do you think?
Most guys don't actually. Statistically guys preffer sweet girls. Though to be fair if a guy thinks he can get easy sex and is not looking for a relationship he will go after a fake girl, not because he is inclined towards her so much as she seems like she will put out easier. Personally Not my cup of tea, I prefer sweet and genuine (and a little nerdy) but then I have never been for casual sex.
Wow. So young and naive. Cheap and fake girls, if they are the kind I think you are referring to, are an embarrassing disgrace. I'm thinking those idiots you see on shit like TOWIE, Geordie Shore, the Selena Gomez look all that, oh Kim Kardashian that's a good example! Yeah that's vile and disgusting to me, and actually a lot of guys I know seem to feel similar, albeit perhaps not quite as strongly as me. In my experience men seem to be put off by make up particularly when used in excess. My opinion is that a girl with excessive make up is not genuine, I don't see the real her, I can't connect with the real her. The qualities that make me attracted to a girl after all are character and personality traits, interests and passions. A hot girl to me is just that, and usually my crush was not someone I thought hot at first.. but gradually I see she is beautiful. I think you will benefit from learning, and opening your mind.
@Electric_Dreams I'm talking about real life, not celebs. I am actually saying that boys are after cheap and fake girls. The difference is that, girls who are ignored accept it and are actually happy that they are remaining pure. I know it because I have girl players in my friend circle. I always hear guys saying that they like girls who never gossip, but girls that I see ending up with boyfriends are all narcissists famous for backbiting.
Celebrities are a frighteningly present part of everyday life, they are considered as role models, as entertainment or as property by masses of people. This is not something I like but it is something I acknowledge to be true. Very little of what you're saying is making much sense to me.. it seems like you're talking about a microscopic part of this issue, like you have very limited experience in what you are talking about, and you do appear to be generalising. I have tried to explain to you why I don't agree with your assessment, I'm not going to repeat myself.
@Electric_Dreams How much would you call enough experience? Because I am saying what I see happening around me all the time.
This is highly frustrating because you appear to have a blatant case of tunnel vision. You are saying what you perceive to have seen around you, and if you're statements are a true reflection of all that you see, not leaving out anything else, then I believe you are so tragically cynical and negative that you are not seeing the positive. Your apparent inability to grasp what I am saying, which at its most simple is that you are wrong, makes me believe that I cannot make you understand. I hope as you grow older you develop a less biased, more open minded perception of the way people around you think about each other... at the moment the way you speak makes me think you're actually a character (not a person) on something like TOWIE or Geordie Shore, y'know living in a world where everyone is a shallow, superficial character. I think you just need time to develop and open your mind.
@Electric_Dreams You aren't understanding what I mean. Believe me when I say this, nice girls are very much underrated. Just how nice guys are. And you speaking of being open-minded? That is one thing that I have been forever bullied for. I am literally judged for being open minded. I am no way saying that all people are shallow or whatsoever. I am only stating the truth. I neither have time, nor money nor the wish to interfere in other people's lives and judge them. But I'm saying what I know. You know what? I better stop here. Because you boys will always be unwilling to understand us, and then y'all share memes stating how hard girls are to understand.
Your argument doesn't make any sense. It's highly erratic and contradictory. You are so open minded that you are bullied for it, yet you say "guys only drool over cheap and fake girls". When you said this you were saying that you believe guys only want girls like this i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/.../...how-off-their-tums.png
Despite the fact that myself and the majority of guys I know seem to find girls like that anywhere from unsettling to horrifying (the latter in my case).
@Electric_Dreams So far I saw very, very few boys actually being sincere lovers. Is this my fault? Am I supposed to search for every single sincere guy from every corner of the world? And the entire time I was talking about attitude, not looks. Women don't really dress like that here so I can't say anything about that picture. But you know those girls who post pics with caption "I'm ugly"? Those who always gossip, even against their own best friend? Girls that enjoy bullying and destroying other people's lives? I myself also have no idea how the hell guys like them. You seem to get offended that I'm speaking the truth from personal experience. 😂
I’m kinda a bit of both, so I can vouch for either side actually. I just choose to act more “nice guy” because I don’t have the time for a relationship.
This. This. And This. "I just choose to act more “nice guy” because I don’t have the time for a relationship." This is a classic example of my answer
That a good thing?
No haha not really in the context I am referring to. You can read my comment for reference
I read it. I’m just incapable of comprehending shit when I haven’t slept in a minute
Essentially you shouldn't "act" a certain way. That is why girls seem like they choose bad guys but in reality the guy acts normal and nice and once you are invested they pull the no relationship card and other stuff that fucks with you emotionally. Its not like girls want guys who treat them like shit, they get played into it and after everyone says they shouldve known better but there is no one that is immune to falling for it as the bad boys are so good at pretending to be genuine and they take it so far that you wouldn't think that someone would be acting that whole time
My comment implies I could act like a bad boy and really treat them as if I was the nice guy, I’ve done it multiple times and it’s a great way to date for me, but sometimes I just don’t have time for dating, so I don’t bother.
When I say I don't like bad boys, I mean. I don't like "nice guys" either. Normal dudes are good enough for me.
well so define to me, what are "normal" dudes?
@KnightCross Dudes that act normal.
define to me what means "acting normal"
We only like bad boys if they're attractive
People, especially women, don't like to admit they're shallow
this should be best comment
@ILikeToParty Shallowness is quite literally in our biology. To the point where refusing to admit it is a tool used for the shallow effect of masking yourself to look better.
@Onidandal its also why plastic surgery is booming. Basically like real life photoshop to look better
I think you're confusing compatibility. Just because a girl doesn't go out with you doesn't mean she likes bad boys and isn't into nice boys.
I'm so tired of these "Women don't want nice guys" threads. It's simply not true... just because the women is with a guy that someone may like doesn't make the guy a bad boy.
Because woman basically doesn't know what they truly want. They tell something and they think the exact opposite. Honesty is lately out of fashion. So I use a trick, I'm a bad nice guy. That is confusing them. :)
We don’t all like the same.
all men like the same? lol how many guys did you know so far?
@KnightCross when did I told about men?
oh sorry now i got it, i still need to improve my English hahaaa
Because it goes against the "everyone is perfect the way they are" narrative that women have been pushing. The instant a woman admits to liking bad boys, she has to start admitting that there is a such thing as an alpha male, and that not every guy can be an alpha. The idea that someone can be genetically superior to someone else goes against the female self-love movement.
I don't believe in this whole analogy of "nice guys finish last". I have had my fair share of meeting girls, talking to girls, being around girls and dating girls. The truth is, yes, many girls who are younger (teens and early 20s) like the bad boy because of 1) the challenge, 2) it's exciting because it feels like a roller coaster ride of emotions, 3) to change him and mold him into a better guy... usually bad boys are not looking for anything serious which either the girl is aware or feels like she can change him.
However, the girls who buckle down and become women with goals, aspirations, maturity are the ones who look back and say I do not want to be with a guy like that because he is a waste of time and I do not need to have my feelings toyed with. The girls who become women and still like the bad boy is usually a girl who lacks confidence and has no direction of her life of what she wants. How often do guys fall for a girl who's pretty or hot but she's a bitch and some guys take it, and they keep going after the same type of girl... I was one of those nice guys who did that. But I realized I don't want to deal with a girl like that, I want to be with a girl who is nice, has her shit together and I physically and emotionally like as well.
Sometimes girls/women often portray the "bad boy" with one trait a "nice guy" does not have and that is confidence. Nice guys tend to be overly giving and etc and while it is a head scratcher us guys have to understand that when you're dating a girl or trying to be with her doing that only gets her to push a guy away. If it is a long time girlfriend or wife then, of course, show that loving affection and care but don't show it to a girl you just started talking to it will creep her out.
Also to be clear my definition of a nice guy is this -- a guy who helps others, honest, hardworking, responsible, has the backbone to stand up for himself and fight if he has to, to be religious and one with God, knows his limits. That's how I view it.
Some do, some don't.
It's not that women don't like nice guys, but they don't like pushovers or self proclaimed nice guys who think they're entitled to shit because they bought them a drink or held the door open.
Also, going by that logic, that means every guy who's ever had a girlfriend, date, or got laid is a "bad boy/asshole". Absolute bullshit.
Some do others don't.
So how about that? for women its 50 50 because they actually like both.
They like bad boys because they show some alpha male traits and they like a nice chivalrous guy to treat them like a queen. they just stuck between the two.
I dont deny it
i don't really understand the true meaning of "nice guys" in English language. As far as i have understood at internet, "nice guys" sounds to refer to "pussies" or "guys who lacks balls"
so in that sense, it's obvious that emasculated men will hardly attract girls but that doesn't have necessarily correlation to their moral integrity and character.
Unfortunately, as far as I have learned about North America at internet and in this website, it seems that most of North Americans have become so degenerated to the point that most of "men who have balls" are degenerated too.
Having said that, I'm not claiming that it's only men's guilt for that situation but women somehow stimulated that type of behavior to thrive in order to make North Americans as degenerated as they are right now (from a "foreigner" perspective)
i would not
Women have always loved bad boys. That's just an undeniable fact of life. Gotta learn to hone your bad side if you want to attract women.
Its true! I've tried to be the best bloke ever... Girls still prefer arrogant men who treat them mean
Sexuality has historically been demonised as sinful by religion hence their is a lingering association of bad boys with sex appeal. Also people like to feel special getting an assholes attention is a lot harder than a nice dudes. Most bad boys aren't bad people anyway their just rebellious.
Women like the guy to look like he is a bad boy, but is actually nice. Also if a girl is like that, then why would you want a girl like that anyways? I mean its rare for a girl to be with a nice guy, but that's because most girls aren't nice. Just like how most guys aren't nice either. Most people are just normal to be honest. Which is they are bad some days and good other days.
Interesting
I think it's because nice guys are typically respectful and friendly towards women and tries to say what what they think they want to hear. for example if a girl orders a complicated coffee order a bad boy might say, "you forgot the whip cream made by Chinese Unicorns" while a nice guy wouldn't want to offend her and instead say something more like, "Ohh that looks good".
women are hypergamous and form harems when given sexual freedom
Some women really love being treated like trash welp not my concern
women do like em maybe😂😂
Women like bad boys
You might want to look up nice guy syndrome on YouTube. You'll thank me later.
they don't want to be a cliché
They do and everyone who says no is lying
They do like the bad boys. Then get hurt, used, knocked up and left. Then when they're damaged and used, they come groveling back to the nice guy.
If you act nicely and gentlemen kind all the time and because of shyness attraction get killed over girl moves on
So solution is just apply middle path mix of good and bad take the trait of confidence and tell upront what you want
Women tend to be drawn to tall, dominant, muscular men. Bad boys tend to have these traits.
Women are so delusional they don't know what they want.
The feeling of a warm mouth around my penis wakes me up at 9:13 sharp. It's moving so slowly, sensually. Passion builds until the sheets are moving up and down and up and down with the speed of a piston, like a high frequency sine wave. A blast of dopamine brings me into the day.
Breakfast is already cooked -- steak, eggs, hashbrowns with peppers and onions, all fried in bacon grease, and a tall, cold glass of 2% milk. It's waiting at the table. I inhale with the force of a million black holes.
I shower, brush my teeth, then change my clothes -- long johns, jeans, a flannel shirt and boots because it's brisk outside, 13 degrees celsius (55 F), and I'm going for a hike. She's washing the dishes as I rip my bong. I step outside to a cloudless September day.
My black lab, Max, sprints towards me with the leash in his mouth. He's just as excited as I am for this day. I put it on his collar and we make for the trail head just past my yard.
The pace steadily quickens as we walk down the hill. We both take time to mark our territory on ancient redwood as old as time itself. We smell everything, and it's perfect. Just beyond the 4th mile marker, Ganoga, the tallest of all of the waterfallls that we pass, a 32 point buck is square in our path. It's stopped, dead in its tracks, and our eyes lock. We share the moment. Then it leaps through the wild wood and it's gone, like a dream.
We find ourselves running on the path back uphill. He thinks he's faster than me, that damn dog. I outlast him - he's old, but still full of life. He catches a squirrel in a sprint. I laugh.
We get home and entire lodge smells like supper - turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and sweet corn-off-the-cobb. I start a fire in the hearth as she finalizes the meal. I dive in and my tongue feels like it's melting into a cloud made of hot melted butter. I give my dog a bone. He howls.
Desert is a cigar and single malt scotch. I take it on the balcony with Max at my heel. She comes outside and I take her right there - she's bending over the rail that overlooks the mountain.
We make love once more, for hours that night, on the bear skin rug in front of the fire. I finish and collapse, exhausted from the effort, sweat is pouring out of both of our bodies. I drift off into a dream and the day is done.
Thank you
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