Sexual Relationships
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Why don't most men like foreplay?

So my previous boyfriend was all for foreplay and could get me "wet" quickly before sex. My current guy however is hard withing minutes of making out and rarely gets me wet enough.
He rarely will give quick suck on my nipple (like 30 seconds)
He has maybe only 3 times ( in a year) rubbed me down there. And it lasts like a minute at most
He wants to dive into sex the minute he gets hard and while its OK for quickies it happens every single time.
After having sex yesterday he rubbed me so nicely it felt amazing. How do i get him to do it more often and BEFORE sex?
After reading tons of articles it seems most guys avoid foreplay.
Why do most guys not understand the importance of foreplay to a woman?
And how can i bring it up without making it seem like I'm insulting him or making it seem like he's bad at sex ( the actual sex is great but could be better with foreplay.)?
Why dont most men like foreplay?
Why dont most men like foreplay?
2 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • Take a second and remember that he probably REALLY wants to make you happy. Most guys like feeling capable, so if you show him that you like it more through gentle conversation and suggestion, he will probably want you to enjoy yourself more. My guess is this falls on communication. He can't know what you're thinking if you're afraid of upsetting him and don't talk honestly about it. Tell him the sex is good, but that you'd like to continue to evolve your connection TOGETHER. This isn't his job, you guys share the connection, you can only grow together. You're already seeking help which is great, just don't discount your partner's desire to try, I'm sure he'll want to continue to learn in the right light, and good luck 😊

    • Thanks for your advice. Since the first time we started having sex though its always been about him. He'll always tell me when he wants a bj though i do it willingly without being asked as well. He loves having his dick stroked but the second out pants our off he wants to just shove it in. Me personally I like to have my clit rubbed a bit. Get fingered once in a while. (Which he's never done. ) he's also never eaten me out. I feel like there's more than just lack of communication I feel like he thinks his needs arethe only ones that count. I dont always have an orgasm. Does he care? There was one time i was unable to make him cum because I was on crutches and couldn't place weight on. i had to stop because i was in pain. Did he care about my pain? No. He told me I ruined his night since i didn't make him cum.

    • Ok, this sounds like it's a lot more than sex. He doesn't appear to value you the same as he does himself based on this information. I can't know, I'm sure he may have his reasons, but at a glance, he seems like he's just keeping you around for sex even. That's just rude and selfish behavior.

  • I agree with you. I love foreplay! It’s very important! I love it to last as long as possible for an amazing main event. I take the time and always love to use a vibe on her or put a vibrating cock ring on and tease her with it. I love giving her nice oily sensual massages, give her oral and just really pay attention to her body. I use bed restraints and blindfold her and tease and torment her body and make her beg for it. But it is a wonderful experience to share those experiences and bond and have that amazing connection. Just take time and explore each other! That’s what it’s all about!

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 27

  • Yes, you wrote correctly, most men don't understand foreplay, especially those who are less experienced and not know the benefits.

    As a guy, all we need is to have a vagina to thrust until we ejaculate. That's orgasm to us. Plain and simple

    MISTAKE #1:
    And when I was new to sex, I thought that was she needs.

    So tell him this mistake. And allow him to absorb you are a girl and the way you feel an orgasm is different.

    MISTAKE #2
    I made the mistake of thinking what I like is what she likes.

    So I thought penetrating her implies pleasure.

    Of course it does, but there is a lot more, like her clitoris, her breasts, even her thighs and butt and lips. I don't understand the importance of kissing until a long time for lack of communication.

    So yes, talk and express. Men just don't get it.

    The rest could be plain selfishness. He was horny and wants a quick release. Very common.

    So withhold entry until you feel wet enough. Just say "Not yet, make me wetter" should do.

  • It's about relational discipline. Send him some articles on foreplay with his fantasies in them in some form. Send him info on female anatomy and physiology.

  • Men fear premature ejaculation. The longer they spend on foreplay the greater the risk of being a three pump chump.

    • My boyfriend already takes a good amount of time to cum so I'm not sure if that's his concern lol but that's funny.

  • It's quite simple, it's because men don't need a foreplay, so he prefer to get straight to the main event as soon as possible, also men tend to be more sexual than women, so while for you a 30 seconds of delay don't looks like a long time, for him it looks like a long time. It would be hard to for to bring it up without making it seem like I'm insulting him, because as far is he is considered you should become wet fast, maybe by just looking at him and/or with minimum effort on his part, plus you say that the actual sex is great anyway, and that's also one of the reasons that he don't think that he need to waste much time on a foreplay, a man is usually prefer for a woman to appreciate his sex skills more than his foreplay skills, a foreplay skills are also commonly seen by men as trying to compensate for something, men who are good at foreplay because they not good at actual sex, it's something that is lame.

  • He may just be a kind of guy that just wants to get off as soon as he can get in there. Foreplay to him is probably a waste of time... just a guess.
    Next time you two are getting into it, tell him to do some foreplay. Maybe explain to him that you really need it to get going. If he does not want to, then you need to take a hard look at your future with him and sex.
    Me... I love foreplay and can spend a good amount of time before the actual act. Need to find a gal that would like that...

  • Most guys are not women. They don't have that problem and there fore can't relate. That said, most men dream of being sex gods! That means that if you can make them understand that foreplay will improve their Sex God statue, they will work on it. Clumsily but work nevertheless.
    Joking aside, best thing you can do to improve things is communicate with your partner.

  • for the most part from what all my female friends have said the only one's who hate doing foreplay are the ones who are young or rather millenial types and just want the old "wham bam, thank you mam" type of get what they want and not do any work to ensure both get the pleasure.. in my book foreplay is as important if not more so than the rest of the act... without it it feels like the whole experience is pointless

  • Omg i can't get over how true this is🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

    Thats why the best sex to me always seems to he when we go out. Because the sexual tension rises the entire time, and there can be a handy/ fingering givin under the table. By the time your home 💥💥💥💥💥

    • I can't speak for most men but I love 💘foreplay especially a good 69 session

  • I don't know i love foreplay, so i relate more with women than men in this department. But you could just ask for more of it. Don't ask, don't get...

  • Foreplay is obviously important but the issue is that not everyone wants to do it or is into it and that goes for both men and women.

    I guess it comes down to what's more important to the individual their needs or their partners.

  • I never avoid foreplay, it's the best part, just making a woman feel good and relaxed is very important to me tbh, I'd say maybe talk to him about it and tell him what you want/need

    • I'm just not sure how to approach it without him taking it personal

    • Yeah it can be a little awkward, but I think you should feel comfortable talking about this stuff with him because he is you boyfriend haha I'm sure he will understand

  • "minutes" IS foreplay. What are you talking about.

    • 1 minute is not.

    • I supposed since you pluralized it that you meant it for longer.

    • I said that he's hard withing minutes. anything he does to my body is less than a minute if at all.

    • Show All

  • Not always true , I am no longer sexually active and never will be again , but when I was , I always got her off first at least once.

  • No idea why I personally love it
    Especially the 👅🍑 part

  • You could always do it yourself.

    • That's not the point. I give a bj all the time and stroke his dick and kiss his neck. if im going to "do it myself" what for do i need the guy? 🤷 He should be willing to reciprocate every now and then. I'm not his personal sex servant.

  • See if you can work some of his fantasies in. And working with forplay in with the fantasy

  • Men are SERIOUSLY impatient when it comes to Sex. When we're hard, our bodes SCREAM for imminent release. Girls are more laid back, and patient! Girls have to work up to their orgasms, while Men are reared and ready to cum.
    What we need to realize is, the longer we hold off our orgasms, the stronger they become!
    If we can just spend 30 minutes to an Hour of Foreplay, teasing the body, and make love for the remaining time, the orgasm will be EXPLOSIVE!!

    • Its just that forcing a sick into a pussy that isn't wet enough can hurt. And like I said i dont expect us to spend hours on foreplay every time. But know he wants to make ME feel good once it while would be nice. Heck even 10 or 15 minutes would be great but he doesn't give me more than 5 mins of making out and the occasional tit squeeze or lick.

    • It's true! If She's not ready, there are dangers! Here's the task for your Man: Practice Patience, and SHOW the Love! Work up the Pleasure from the bottom, slowly intensifying! He should practice keeping calm, and remember that YOUR pleasure is PRIMARY. He should be vocal too! "How are you?", "Everything feeling good?" and of course, verbal stimulation! "You're my world", "Your cheeks look gorgeous tonight", "I smell your new perfume" Practice of this sort will make Him a good patient Man!

  • Foreplay is important for both lovers.

  • I love it. About 50% of the time we stop because she wants my penis inside. The other 50% of cfc the time it's me. Usually the foreplay is at least 5 minutes. If I really can't wait it's about 2 minutes

  • What? Definitely not a good representation of most men I would say. I love it!

  • Show More (9)

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