Why have sex if there is no intention of love or even giving love a chance?

[PositiveFlight]

I fully agree with the take in the graphic below. How do others feel?

The whole idea of imprinting onto each other is very real. Its the very definition of becoming one flesh between a man and woman. It’s sacred, beautiful, and I would argue a Godly act. It’s the completion of the human equation when male and female (each other’s counterpart and complementary opposite) come together in such a pure form of love.

It’s unfortunate that we live in such an evil world that such a beautiful act can be denigrated, mocked, and misused in such a casual, vein, and selfish manner. Even worse, that so many people can’t even get it anatomically correct even between a man and woman due to the ill-effects of porn, let alone within the LGBTQ community. Such a beautiful and scared act now has so many counterfeits.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree. I’ve never been about casual sex and won’t ever be. I have to be in love and in a longterm relationship with the person before even considering doing it. However, I can tell very early on if I see a future with someone. If i see myself marrying them someday. If I see myself having sex with them at some point. But i also make it clear to them that I won't be partaking in that until sometime down the line once feelings, an emotional connection, and commitment have all been established.
Yet it sucks that most will waste your time and pretend to be about what you’re about just to get laid. Out of the many I’ve dated, only two reached the point of sex. One will forever be a regret because I was young, dumb, not ready and pressured. He knew at the time I wanted to wait til marriage, but did whatever he had to to prove otherwise. As for the other guy, I was ready. But it hurts seeing that we never reached the point of marriage.

I could say I regret it because of that but nahh, I know now deep down I could not have waited that long. I like to wait around 6+ months but yea not til marriage. With the first guy, I didn't know my body nor my physical needs. Now I know. Still I have no intentions of surpassing a total of 3 in life. Plus I find sex overrated since most dont take it seriously. So if the 3rd guy doesn’t do it for me, Ima just stick to porn

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Because sex is the need like a hunger or thirst.

I often had my ex fiancé, who was a sportsman and always ate a lot, skip his lunches just to come home on a work break and make love with me.

I found it very hot.

Now, I don’t have sex out of relationships but it doesn’t mean I find it easy, there are so many temptations, had I not been very strict about my decision, I would find it extremely hard to control myself.

I still do find it very hard.

But I also know that if I had casual sex, I would just not feel good about myself.

Sometimes I think I over complicate my life.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My mom has been telling me to enjoy my youth and not refrain from the joys of life. I can’t, though. But I hate that I can’t, I wish I could.

[PositiveFlight]

I understand the need for sex like a thirst. The need to take the time to connect and indulge in each other. To make love. You make very valid points here. It’s a catch 22. The need is there but its a hot iron unless one has the gloves of commitment.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s why I don’t judge people who sleep casually, because It takes me huge willpower- not to, especially now that I am single and had spent last 2 years of my relationship in long distance.

[RespectfulGuy]

Bible again?

1) Adam and Eve was matchmade. I wonder the Edenic Sin was due to love or no love.

2) The Song of Solomon taught married couple how to fuck. He definitely have enough experience with 1000 wives and concubines. I wonder what the virgin girl thinks at the back of her mind when being fucked her first time by the wisest, most power and almost unparalleled sex experience. Ya, the orgasm must be full of love.

3) Paul taught to avoid fornication, get married. Not to find a loving companion.

(that was when polygamy was changed to monogamy)

4) today's statistics: married "loving couple" suffered "dead bedroom" (do a search and see how many forums talked about it). Sexual incompatibility caused many divorces. Worse, many live in celibacy after marriage. Love? Perhaps because they choose not to divorce.

[KingslayerC]

I don't know anything about bible or religion, but about point 4, I can say that the dead room is mostly a result of people giving up on their appearance. It's not a shocker that men and women can't maintain physical attraction to obese partners that wear pajamas around them 95% of the time. There's more to it, obviously, but that's the big factor.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@KingslayerC Preach it brother!

[Lliam]

I don't buy into the metaphysical stuff.
I know for a fact that sex can be as euphoric with an acquaintance as with someone you love.

Also, I don't know why it's acceptable to enjoy the use of certain organs but taboo to use others.

[EyeAmNiceGirl]

Because sometimes, it is fun to have sex, in and of itself. I had spring break sex once, guy I met that day, and knew I would probably never see again in my life plus had a boyfriend back at college, and I enjoyed every second of it -- it was so wrong of a thing to do, it made it extra hot (in an 18-year old girl sort of way). I took a 16-year old boy's virginity once (little brother of college friend) because he was cute and something in me wanted to take him across that bridge, and I had been told his girlfriend wouldn't let him. So, there you go; a couple of reasons to have sex when there's no intention of "love" happening. I will agree if a person makes a habit of such things, it will have a bad effect on his/her life, but every once in a blue moon? I guess it's sort of like getting drunk, once in a long while is fine, every week, that would be bad.

[chloeaimeejensen]

@positiveflight i know we’ve clashed a lot on other posts and as you already know, I’m guilty for sleeping with multiple different partners which I have no intention in starting a loving relationships with. But for me personally, casual sex is like an addiction to me. Some people are dependent on alcohol, some are dependent on hard hitting drugs, I’m dependent on casual sex and there are plenty of other people in my age bracket that are the same.

[ShesRad80]

sad but true for others no me, i haven't been sexually active yet. i am waiting for my person and will wait however long it takes

[Chancerlifter]

Because sex is fun and wild and there’s freedom in it when done consensually, even if it’s just for pleasure, and I fully support people having sex in the way they wish to experience it, because the way other people live doesn’t bother me.

why are you so bothered by the way other people have sex? cause it’s funny that you preach against sex without it being a loving act, but yet you aren’t being very loving in this question right now.

why does it bother you so much?

[menina]

I was agreeing with you until this:
" Even worse, that so many people can’t even get it anatomically correct even between a man and woman due to the ill-effects of porn, let alone within the LGBTQ community. "

If it wasn't for that, I would say that you were right.

[PositiveFlight]

What about it are you in disagreement? Where am I going wrong?

[menina]

I agree that porn gives unrealistic ideas about sex. However, it seems to me that you're saying that sex between people who are part of the LGBTQ+ community is not "real" sex. That sex for you is only between a man and a woman. I disagree with that.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some people don't want a relationship because of the compromise of their freedom, but they enjoy the way sex makes them feel.

[Samantha36]

It's fun! Iv slept with around 50 different guys and only ever had 2 relationships. As long as no one is getting hurt and it's consensual, it's a lot of fun.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Believe it or not and like it or not, some people are in it simply for the physical pleasure of sex.

No, not me, not in my case.

I want the romance, the emotional bonding.

To love and be loved.

[PositiveFlight]

Absolutely. To love and be loved. Sex is the greatest expression of the foundation of love

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Sex is sex & you don’t have to be in love to have sex. Sex feels good & it is good for your health as well unless your partner isn’t telling you something.

[Billlewis]

I personally am most likely to be the best possible partner for her if I'm kept strictly celibate throughout the entirety of the relationship. However, I'm a firm believer in encouraging her to freely date, bed and have sex with other guys whenever the need arises, and I place the highest priority on both her pleasure as well as the guy she's seeing.

[asphaltrhymes]

Purely a biological urge to release maybe? 😬👀 Even though there's masturbating for release, so go figure why people bother having short term sex at all, lol ahahaha 😁🥱😁🥱😁 yawn

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Why have war if there's no intention of giving peace a chance?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

And that wasn't some profound comparison related to the question. I just had to say it

[AviatorTom]

This post is a variation of a similar post...

Why am I sexually attracted to two brothers but not in love with either?

Sex is about physical attraction. Though it's better when love is involved, sex can be enjoyable without love, or the possibility of love.

[KetoJames]

For fun?

[Agape93]

Because it feels good. There doesn't need to be a deeper meaning, because there is no deeper meaning, unless you ascribe it yourself.

[PositiveFlight]

I understand what you are saying. But one cannot ignore the fact that sex is probably the most love connecting of activities there is. With the exchange of bonding chemicals such as oxytocin, how do you explain so many people feeling a connection or having inseparable feelings for the other when they didn’t initially intend such? Wouldn’t that be playing with fire?

[Agape93]

You answered your own question, chemicals. It's simple bio chemistry. Same reason why some who don't want a kid end up loving their kid partway through, chemistry. I don't deny those emotions or what they mean, but those emotions are ascribed to the act and the resulting brain chemistry. But you don't need to do so. An orgasm feels no physically different with or without love.

[MikeTheBartender]

Because it feels good.

[Mac-One]

@positiveflight I agree with you and my life is am example of that. I first had sex when we were young ( I was 20 and the girl was 18, the first time for both of us). We had been dating for over 3 1/2 years (casually at first but more frequently the previous 4 months). We were not yet formally engaged but had a mutually committed relationship. That relationship has continued through various difficult times and we have been now been married over 58 years (almost 62 years since we first dated). There has been no others for either of us.

[exitseven]

I really agree with this. It is not like shaking hands

[es20490446e]

Cause most people don't know those other dimensions of sex.

For them self physical pleasure is all it is about.

[KatherineJ]

I won’t get into the LGBTQIA community, because that’s entirely different than the part of the post that I agree with. When two people have sex, they do become one flesh, so it’s important to only do that with someone that you love.

[Hannajenky]

By your logic we should be having sex with family members because we love them.

i agree that mindfulness in general is a good thing. But sex would get boring as fuck if the only kind of sex was love making. Sometimes you just want to get fucked and treated like a …..

[runnerboy]

Maybe they are just having sex for the pure pleasure of it? What's wrong with that?

[PositiveFlight]

Pleasure is great. However what of the responsibility and the risk of playing with fire by creating feelings when there is no intention?

[runnerboy]

Maybe there are minimal feelings. Anyway I'm kind of new to sex (only 2 girls briefly) so I still have a lot to learn.

[imawfulatusernames]

Honestly? It feels good like what reason more are you looking for? People like sex

[Kelly6]

Sex is different

love is different.

sex is body need just as hunger.

love is optional

[Hanrej]

Because lust is a feeling you have regardless of weather or not you're romanticaly and practicaly compatible with someone else.

Do you have to give love a chance of you and someone else feel mutual lust but you realize you live at different ends of the country but met on vacation?

Do you have to give love a chance of you realize you want fundamentaly different lives?

And what will you do in the meantime? Refrain from sex until you're desperate enough to try giving love a chance when you know deep down it won't work?

[Tomisworthless]

Women only sleep with men they can see themselves being in relationship with and child bearing.

[9214xs]

Because for many, sex is purely physical and has nothing to do with love or emotions.

[normandi]

love and lust shouldn't be mixed up

[Anonymous]

Sex and love are not the same thing. Just like love and volleyball are not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been single for over ten years. I need that love to be there or there’s no sex happening. It’s that simple.

[PositiveFlight]

I very much understand and agree with you

[Anonymous]

What does love have to do with sex?

[asphaltrhymes]

And look, some people think that and embrace that, anyways 💕😜

[PositiveFlight]

What does love have to do with it? Seriously? No wonder the world is so screwed up when it comes to relationships!

[Anonymous]

So, you actually believe sex can heal the universe through vibration?

[Screenwriter]

Don't know if it can heal the universe, but loving sex with a longtime partner is nothing but good. What I disagree with is the LGBTQ issue. I know gay men who've been together for 20 and 30 years or more, as well as lesbians who are in love with and faithful to each other. There is nothing different about their sexual relations except the varied organs involved or not involved. BUT, some people are cut off from these positive feelings and do not know how to engage in sex in this manner, or are not interested in having sex at all for many emotionally disturbed reasons. So, the world healing might not come true, except with those in touch with themselves.

[Opinion Owner]

@Screenwriter I agree with everything you said here. And truth be told, I actually agree with some of what QA wrote. But if you have read more than a few of his posts on GAG related to all things sexual (which is all he ever posts about), you'll know he consistently comes off as a patronizing, pompous, disdainful, judgmental, prudish little dick, so it's hard to take anything he says seriously.

[Screenwriter]

Not familiar with his regular posts. But he came off as serious. I will add grain of salt in future.

[Opinion Owner]

@Screenwriter I'll just say, pay attention to what he posts and you'll see what I mean. He clearly searches GAG every day for certain very specific sexual topics so he can post about how disgusting he thinks they are and how inferior he thinks people who do those things are. He literally doesn't miss a single opportunity. I can understand people having their preferences, but seeking out every single opportunity he can to let everybody know how disgusting they are that they do or enjoy certain things, and how superior he obviously thinks he is because he doesn't... that's a sign of a shitty person.

[PositiveFlight]

Anon, why don’t you use your screen name when you’re on here? It’s interesting how you can come on and accuse me of being intolerant of unnatural ways when it comes to sex. Yet you can’t come on here and actually use your real name. You come on and give a drive-by opinion but don’t have to worry about accountability for your own viewpoints which others may disagree with because you come on as “anonymous” which is cowardly. That severely neuters your argument! That said however, at least give me the credit for being someone who doesn’t censor and silence you by reporting your post or removing it like so many others on here who have done to me, because they can’t take an honest yet differing viewpoint or someone who disagrees. I believe in protecting other’s freedom of speech to express themselves, even if it goes totally against my own opinion.