Why is the fun over once he cums?

[Kay-C]

I like playing. The other night, I massaged and teased and he massaged. When he worked his way to getting ready to fuck me I resisted a little adding to the fun. He played along and it was fun and a turn on. Then when I let him in he came quickly and that was it. No more trying from him. He would have went round 2 but it would have been me on top trying to get off quickly to meet an objective. Its become a rut we are in. When I asked why he doesn't play or pursue trying to fuck me after round 1 he said it's just biology. Is this true guys?

[RavVid]

I don't accept the semen tank refractory period theory Kay-C. I have some experiences and suggestions following.

I did for quite a while till I had sex with a girl whose body really really really excited me. Also at the time I thought I wouldn't be getting a return match as she was leaving to go overseas. I was motivated to make hay while I could.

As I was building up to ejaculate, I remember thinking one load is not enough - i have to at least put two loads in. I was surprised that after ejaculating that i stayed hard and could continue on. Light bulb moment

So that disproved the semen tank refractory period theory to me. It took longer to build up to the second ejaculation than the first but not that much longer. One is good but two is better right? So I worked on that and found I could.

I think a major reason for a one shot is feeling sexually sated and expecting it to take some time to recover sexual excitement. So I started playing with my mind as to what I wanted to do next to the girl. That certainly helped me to avoid feeling sexually sated and enabled me to stay aroused and hard. Just as I accidentally discovered with the girl above. It had some repeatability.

The second reason for a one shot - for me - is I got de-sensitized to the movement I was using before the first ejaculation. So whilst I might stay hard I might not get the same stimulation from thrusting. What has helped me to overcome that de-sensitization is if the girl gives me different stimulation such as humping back at me or squeezes my penis with her vaginal muscles. I'll do a bit of training with her on way through in asking her to squeeze me if she is a new girl..

This is pretty sexy and helps with sexual excitement. It doesn't need that much. I also like bumping the junction of my penis to my torso onto the girls pubic bone. A very clever skillful girl got me hard again immediately I rolled off her by massaging me there with her finger tip. So I have replicated this as best as I can for overcoming de-senitization.

It also helps when the girl says something complimentary like "good job" or "ooh you still feel hard inside me". Love girls saying "in me" or "inside me" by the way.

A third reason is girls are expecting a one shot or give active obstruction of multi-shots. I think girls think their job is done after you cum. At times I have had active obstruction to continuing because the girl thinks the condom will come off and you will just push it and the semen deep inside. Even taking their hand down to your shaft to check is not enough. by the way hand on shaft is another sexy thing girls can do.

Look, if I flick a girl's clit a few seconds after she orgasms then she will cum again. I have always been stopped after 4 or 5 so I don't know the upper limit. It's a brief window of opportunity. I think it is much the same on the guy side as well - there is a brief window of staying hard and continuing.

Good luck with it!

[NamerOfStars]

Because he's a lightweight, either physically, neurochemically, or behaviorally. When a man ejaculates, his androgens plummet, and his prolactin and oxytocin levels rise- it's not just a matter of circulating enough blood to maintain an erection; his hormones are literally pushing him to stop having sex.

The reason for this should be obvious enough; you couldn't possibly get MORE pregnant than you already theoretically are, and spending more semen would be wasting calories.

The second reason is more directly physical: his body hits him with the equivalent of a tranquilizer dart; it's hard for a man in that position to even stay awake, much less go through something as tiring as sex can be.

This, too, is simply reasoned: men, facing higher selective pressure than women, need to be in peak condition if the species is to survive; those who aren't get fewer chances to reproduce.

The third reason is simply intellectual: he's not thinking it through. If he can't maintain his role after he's orgasmed, then logically, he should see to you first.

[Kay-C]

Damn. That was very insightful. Thank you

[NamerOfStars]

If he's reluctant to change, try having an sexual encounters specifically focused on just one of you, relying on fingers, tongues, and toys- if he sees and hears the results of good work, he'll be more likely to want to do it again. Yes, he SHOULD be more thoughtful, but sometimes you have to work through the bad to get to the good- so offer to go first.

[MsTaniaUncensored]

With most guys once they cum you can say goodbye to the boner for a bit. Now if he just cream pied you he probably isn't going to go down on you to finish you off but he could use his hand. Or you can suck his cock until he gets hard again for round two.

This is why I always tell guys who want to know how to please a woman is to focus on her first as she takes longer to get to an orgasm. Go down on her until she is close then start fucking her

[MasterKS]

@mstaniauncensored good experience.

[Samantha_17]

"Go down on her until she is close then start fucking her" Yeah this. A good foreplay is a must on most occasions.

[MasterKS]

@Samantha_17 proper skill and active brain makes a great sex, isn't it?

[MasterKS]

@samantha_17 man with proper skill and active brain makes a great sex, isn't it?

[BrookeS]

Girls can go all night

[katiesmuff]

My hubby has always been game for more after the first round. He keeps things slow and easy such as massaging me (usually my boobs, he loves playing with them) and lots of kissing. He loves to tease my pussy by doing many things very close to it, but never touching it which drives me totally nuts.

[SteveSmith1985]

You need to explain what you said in your update to him. That's where you're getting wires crossed. 🙂

[Dіldophobe]

It's like you've eaten the tastiest irresistible food on the plate and just the plain stuff is left which you have to push down indifferently.

It's partially biology, any time we coom our blood prolactin rises, our brains lose androgen receptors, and there is less itching in the balls that drives us to dump the load.

There is still other forms of playing available, you going on top is definitely an option.

Biologically think about it, if reproduction is the main goal, he left his resources inside of you already. Why would he be driven to do it again? It would rather preserve the coom for another female to impregnate.

You can see roosters stomp one hen after another, or multiple roosters stomping on one poor hen in a row, but you never see the same rooster do the same hen twice.

Of course we can occasionally or more often with practice override our biology. But ask yourself, do you really want him to coom five times non stop and do all the work, every single time you do it? Or will it be too much and become boring soon?

[musicbrain5]

Because he doesn’t care about your needs or wants, simply put.

[weysally]

a lot of men/boys lose sexual interest once they have cum, some are quick to recover but some aren't

[tinydiva1991]

Because he has used you at that point ! He is done till next time

[SnowedIn]

That's sad. I'm sorry he's that way.

So, yes, for most men there's a recharge period (refractory). But that doesn't mean the fun has to stop. That's when I'll go down on her or finger or toy or whatever.

And make sure she's had at least one orgasm before we even begin penetration.

[AvacodoToast]

My boyfriend Michael is good at keeping it going. We went to boarding school together. He was in the navy for a while, and he was a steward. His favorite meal was in Dubai. Gerbil under glass is what I believe he called it. We had a mutual friend, but she died an hour ago of unknown causes. No explanation at all. I think that's what might have happened to my friend Monke. Mum is the word. You know NOTHING. :)

[SnowedIn]

@AvacodoToast... you are very lucky to have such a boyfriend as that. Keep him around. As for your friend, I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes, knowing nothing is better than not knowing anything.

[AvacodoToast]

Thanks for your kind words. That means a lot to me. It was so sad. I was holding her hand towards the end. She asked me to lean in so she could tell me something. She whispered: "Don't make waves, and always fly under the radar." I'm not exactly sure what she meant, but I hope to understand someday. She was an airline pilot that was always bragging that she got in for merit, alone. That's why "they" came for her. The non-merit pilots didn't like her bragging about it. So they all reported her, and now she's gone. True story. Merit, gerbils, canned spam... just fly under the radar. What does it mean?

[SnowedIn]

@AvacodoToast ... it's interesting that you mention that your friend was a pilot. I like airplanes. I always have. One of the areas my dad and I bonded over. I used to talk to someone sometimes here on GaG in replies to opinions about planes. She got it. She was smart. And funny. And nice. Anyway, I used to talk a lot about the Boeing 747. It is (? was?) my favorite plane. There aren't a lot of them flying anymore. See, when it first rolled out in 1969 the 747 was heralded as the future of aviation. And it was, in so many ways. But the 747, despite so many variants, and a new wing, and a new engine, and a glass cockpit, couldn't escape the reality that haunts all humans: fuel and money. The two were (are) as intertwined as the serpents on a caduceus. The 747, despite its amazing payload and its moniker as Queen of the Skies, couldn't escape the fact that four engines gobble fuel like popular GaG posters preen and report. Fuel costs get the attention of bean counters in airline accounting offices. The 747 could no longer (literally or literally) fly under the radar. And, so, it's quiet at Everett for now. The work of the Incredibles is done. Because too often the world doesn't appreciate beauty. Or laughter. Or art. Or gerbils. Or 747s. And so the original Pennsylvania Station in New York City, a Beaux-Arts masterpiece by McKim Mead & White, was demolished; and the 747 is cut from production, and Pontiac shuttered from the GM line, and words censored from books, and merit maligned. Yes, there is flying under the radar. But there's also looking in the mirror. Your friend is wise. Through your words I feel like I know her and I mourn with you.

[AvacodoToast]

Wise words. I'm going to delete as many gas guzzling planes in my life as I can find, and I've already deleted about 10 just today. And I'm going to keep looking in the mirror. Without that, what else is there?

[SnowedIn]

@AvacodoToast... while you look in the mirror (wise indeed), here's some inspiration:

https://youtu.be/PfZgOV4UHBU

[AvacodoToast]

That was fantastic, but I could have done without the guys holding up cell phone cameras. Did they not notice the giant camera recording the whole thing? lol

[SnowedIn]

@AvacodoToast ... personally, I like the Frenchman in the background with his hair and the sweater over his shoulder. But, well, celebs and their phones... what can one do.

[AvacodoToast]

They did an awesome job, and I was wondering from the beginning how it would start. It didn't seem like a normal studio, so I was wondering. What a talented bunch. I wonder if my singing is what made my gerbil ask me for bus fare? He said he just wanted to visit family in Mexico. Did he get lost?

[SnowedIn]

I didn't know the gerbil went to Mayhico. That's cool. And by bus. That's old school. So, the family thing was a rise. It's March. I'm thinking Spring Break in Acapulco or Puerto Vallarta. You know, like on the Love Boat. I'm sure your gerbil is fine. He may be looking for a phone booth that is gerbil friendly. Not sure they have many of those there.

[OfMiceandMen]

It sounds to me like you have a quick turnaround period for round two. However, some guys don't have that quick a turnaround period.

In addition, if that was the first time you expressed that you want to play some more afterwards, it may never have crossed his mind you wanted more afterwards, bc most women become uncomfortable after sex.

I think the biology he may be referring to is that most guys have to take a washroom break and don't feel real sexy after they do this, it has to do with the body flushing the ejaculate from the urethra/body.

Therefore, we may not be able to get instantly bounce back. However, most guys would likely be able to do it with some convincing, you just have to be up for the challenge.

[Dachshund_guy]

Men experience a sudden change in hormone levels and it quickly makes the situation (sex) seem ridiculous. Testosterone drops and the cuddle hormone, progesterone kicks in. That is the hormone women have that causes a mother to bond with her baby and also to sit still and nurse it. So, female hormones on men can mess us up a bit. Testosterone in women has the opposite effect. It makes you sexually aroused.

[AviatorTom]

It's sort of true. After we guys ejaculate, we need a few minutes of down time to recover. That's a perfect time to snuggle, caress and kiss... it doesn't mean the fun is over. After that down time, we're usually ready to go again. Be patient with him, don't force things, and let him have his down time.

[Bricealan]

After cumming and the 'tension' goes away, the desire to play and be intimate goes with it most times.

I would prefer to keep it going for as long as possible, so the tension and energy are still high. I hate to feel the 'desire' ebb after ejaculation.

[Dargil]

Biology. Adrenaline crash. Keep him aroused but deal ejaculation.

[exitseven]

no, I always hold off until she is taken care of. Some days it is easier than others.

[humanearth]

Its part biology and part of loosing the mood.

See when a man is with someone new. They can cum more then once easily.

But once the newness wears off. It becomes routine

[TCredo]

i love going down on her after cumming in her. she cums again.

maybe he can try that?

[FilmGuy93]

Sex is a lot more exhausting for men than it is for women.

[megabamse]

Two things it might be, he is a noob. Or he is not that into you

[Nikki1989]

Yeah, some men are quick to roll over and go to sleep once they are done. It is frustrating.

[Oddquestiona96]

I mean u can still play but it need to be with toys or u focused on him. Guys just can't get hard for a but after we cum

[Dіldophobe]

The asker implied that she had to go on top. You tell her that people it's because he isn't hard. But her going on top implies that hardness is there. This could lead her to believe that he doesn't like her. Be careful. Refractory period could be psychological, I know that I, after all the acoustic soundwave therapy on my dick never go soft even after cooming, without even any prolactin inhibitors, but the refractory period hits my brain and I'm disinterested no matter how hard.

[loveslongnails]

You're 40 years old and didn't know this, huh? Ok, here's the straight dope. When a man orgasms, 90 % of his sexual drive and energy are gone for the better part of 3 hours. Some men can do a second round pretty soon, but it's not as strong as the initial one.

Most men can have their first orgasm in as little as 2 to 3 minutes. Some are good for about 5-8 minutes if they have some control. The problem is that your MAN should know this about himself, and your MAN should be sure to make YOU orgasm several times before he cums with you.

It's straight up biology after the first orgasm for a man -- he's mostly drained and there's little sexual drive left. If you want to get the most out of him, don't let him get close to cumming till he takes of you a couple of times.

[Kay-C]

Even though I already knew most of this information it was still helpful to read. I think what I wish is he wouldn't stop trying to have fun and would keep the fun going without sex until he is hard again for round 2.

[loveslongnails]

Of course he's going to stop "trying". He's spent. He's out of bullets. And the sad thing is, he doesn't really care where you are in the process at that point. If he truly was thinking of you, he would have taken care of you FIRST, several times. Once he's done it becomes " Oh baby, you're so good I came so fast. You took it right out of me.". Translation: "I don't really care that much about your orgasm, I got mine. Good girl." I realize your man may not ever act that callously, or say those words out loud, and he may be very apologetic for not satisfying you. But the bottom line is, whether it's done consciously or subconsciously, it's all about him. What you're doing is known as "wishful thinking", and it's not going to happen!! The simple answer, and the correct answer 99% of the time, is "do not let him cum if you want to have fun". He needs training and discipline, and you have to do it because obviously, he won't.

[Jennz6]

@kay-c My experience guys are like that, try it with a girlfriend sometime? Girls keep it going.

[Kay-C]

Haha. Good advice. Where are you located? 😄

[Jennz6]

@kay-c Florida

[Jennz6]

@kay-c where are you located?

[Kay-C]

Lol. Figures it's on the other side if the US from me

[Jennz6]

@kay-c that’s life sweetheart